I want a fraction of his confidence.
I mean to be fair have you seen those legs.
a while back i read a post along the lines of “if you feel like everyone hates you, it’s time to rest… if you feel like you hate everyone else, it’s time to eat” and honest to god i’ve never used any piece of advice more than i have that one
I always add on “if you feel like you hate yourself, it’s time to take a shower” to turn it into a trifecta.
Soul-cleaving emotional problems require very basic biological solutions.
just got voted as time’s most problematic and toxic bisexual representation[ID: The end of a speech bubble next to Dean Winchester wearing a cowboy hat who is grinning as he holds up his index finger. ID End]
Know your history:
- Used to mean carefree
- Then sexually deviant
- Then prostitute
- Then slut
- Then sodomite
- And THEN as we know it today but only as a slur
- Reclaimed in the seventies
- Invented in the nineties
- Has faced constant backlash (from both straight, queer, and LGBT folks from being not inclusive enough or too inclusive)
- Every year there are pushes to change to acronym
- Alphabet soup
- Used to mean “other”
- Became a slang term for “not straight” in the 1400s
- Became a slur in the early 1900s
- Reclaimed in the 80s.
- Sudden push back from within the queer community to have it seen only as a slur in the 2010s, a push that can be traced back to terf ideology.
- Is the only term that includes all non cishet people
- A medical diagnosis
- Used for decades to make queerness into a mental illness
- Used as a slur for the latter half of the 20th century
- Rejected by the queer community as an acceptable term for a brief period of time in the early 2000s before coming back into fashion.
- Only describes the experience of cis gay men and cis lesbians
Think what you want, believe what you will, but every word we have ever used to describe ourselves is coated in blood.
Op ur so brave to assume people on this site can read well enough to get this
I actually talked to an older queer guy who said he was amazed to see how many young people call themselves gay. When he hears it, he just hears a slur…but he also said he was glad that people are able to reclaim it, and he’s happy to see a generation of lgbt+ people comfortable with it.
People on this site could learn from him
One of the fucked up side effects of purity culture that I’ve seen in fandom is people bending over backwards to morally justify a character’s actions instead of just admitting that a character they like did some fucked up things and accepting it’s okay to like them anyway.
Well-written characters, like people, are flawed. Sometimes they fuck up. Sometimes they’re problematic. This doesn’t make them unforgivable or unlovable. You can fully disagree with and disapprove of stuff a character has done and still be a fan of that character because you find them compelling and interesting and in many ways relatable.
But because of this warped purity culture bullshit telling kids that they’re TERRIBLE PEOPLE for liking X character because X character is problematic, they will do bugfuck insane mental gymnastics to argue that no, X character is a perfect pure cinnamon roll and everyone else is terrible and so mean to them and “protect X character at all costs!!!”
Because of this, you have fans who have now completely lost the capacity to acknowledge any of a character’s flaws, instead arguing in favor of some really atrocious stuff by trying to justify it. I’ve watched people argue in favor of torture, in favor of internment, in favor of genocide, in favor of terrorism, and in favor of murder, all because they were stanning for their fav and felt backed into a corner where they couldn’t admit that a character they liked was flawed, lest that somehow cast them as morally tainted in the eyes of this hellsite’s black and white ethical absolutism.
For fuck’s sake. Let people like problematic things. Let people like problematic characters. Let people enjoy things without telling them they’re horrible people and forcing them to defend everything they like to the death.
Because they will defend it, and we’ll wind up in a worse place than we started in.
b99 is more culpable, actually
all cop shows are propoganda, but most cop shows are made for 18-49 white men who’re scared of face masks
b99′s target demographic, however, is young, queer and racially diverse. b99′s target demo is all the people who’re the most vulnerable to police brutality. b99′s target demo is all the folks who absolutely should never be lead to believe the way to view the cops is the way you view jake fuckin peralta.
b99 had a bisexual Latina cop laugh and say she suggests police brutality, later showing interest and excitement over the exact sound weapon we’re now seeing used in retaliation to protests (side note: when i saw that episode, i thought that weapon was made up because it seemed so sci-fi villain-ish).
they have their whole host of cop characters, including the straight-laced official types, regularly treat their job like a game.
yes they had an episode about racial profiling. but what was that episode telling us? that at the end of the day, there are good cops within the system actively fighting corruption and winning. i recently saw someone in exact words say “b99 taught me that not all cops are bad.” that’s copaganda. even if you believe in your heart that some cops are good, they are still people with weapons designed to kill whose job centers on apprehending anyone they deem a trouble-maker, and they are. not. your. friends.
b99 wants you to believe that diversity within the system creates fair treatment, right? that a gay Black captain and a crew of racially and sexually diverse cops are the Good Guys.
in real life, the Seattle chief of police is a Black woman who is AT BEST allowing the people in her command to terrorize their city, and at worst actively commanding it. the tear-gassing in seattle? the little girl who got pepper-sprayed? that happened under the leadership and command of a Black woman. because cops are cops first. the job itself demands that they abandon their communities and their humanity. we joke about being [x thing] first and human second a lot, right? well, cops really are.
b99 talked about the prison industry, right? they talked about guard brutality, retaliation, in-prison violence, right? but think about the fact that within that plotline, the cops were the only characters who we were told didn’t belong there. how cinnamon roll jake peralta, a Good Cop Who Didn’t Belong in Prison, was interacting exclusively with people like a gang leader and an unrepentant cannibal.
b99 is deeply insidious cop propaganda. and i’ve watched it and i’ve enjoyed it! and i don’t believe the creators set out to make copaganda. i think they were trying to do a lighthearted riff on your standard procedural, and they cast a diverse group of actors, and they tried to write socially conscious scripts, and they slowly snowballed their way into copaganda while we were all distracted by andy samberg getting hotter.
i’m not at all saying don’t watch cop shows, if that’s your thing, i guess. hell, i’ve enjoyed more than one of them in my life. but please think critically about their messaging and choose to reject what does not align with your values. think critically about your values, and what influences them. and for the love of god, stop responding to people’s angry, grieving cries over Black people being systematically murdered by cops by defending your favorite fictional cop. real people are dead.
Black lives matter more than fake cops. that’s all.
You know, this isn’t the thing that fucks me up the most about BL/“yaoi”/fujoshi discourse, but it’s high up there so I’m going to say it.
It took me my whole lifetime to accept the fact that I’m a feminine guy. Every time I was laughed at for being girly, nonviolent, called a sissy, bitch, or worse, it hurt like hell. And when I realized I was attracted to boys, that was when I started to question whether I was a real man. It felt like a stab to the gut.
I was there, little teenage me, reading BL, because I couldn’t connect with anything else I knew of. Straight romance didn’t do anything for me. I watched Brokeback Mountain and liked it, but I couldn’t relate to almost any part of it. Gei Comi (“bara”) wasn’t my taste back then — I wanted to see boys who looked a bit like me, not big hunky adults with facial hair! So I fell back to BL.
And you people on here complain about “straight girls squeeing and saying ‘my sinful gay babies!!!’” — guess what, I was around when you actually DID see fangirls say this type of thing. I was there consuming BL and slash by the truckful, ignoring the occasional homophobic comments from the author/uploader. I saw all the hate every other corner of fandom threw at BL fans, and you know what.
None of that hate was because they had homophobic attitudes.
It was purely because “yaoi is for stupid girls”, and they were “ruining the source material with their dirty gay hands”.
If girls touched anything that was “meant for boys”, including male characters themselves, it was “dirtied”, “ruined”. (Sounds familiar?)
And the boys who liked BL? Who preferred a romantic manga about androgynous guys slowly falling in love, with cherry blossoms being swept by the wind in the background, rather than just watching gay porn featuring masculine men? We weren’t “real men”.
If you thought there isn’t a fuckton of toxic masculinity in the gay male community, boy do I have news for you. Feminine, camp, flamboyant men, they all “made gays look bad”. Because of us, cishet people wouldn’t accept gay men as “real men”, so there were attempts to exclude us to protect the reputation of the unoffensive, masculine macho gays.
Obviously, it didn’t work, but damn if it didn’t make me and guys like me feel horrible that even other gay guys hated us.
It took me a long time to accept myself. Little mid-to-late-teens me, with light hypogonadism that stunted my growth and made me look very feminine. Before I started taking hormones per my endocrinologist’s advice, I barely had appetite to eat decently. I only lost my baby cheeks and started gaining muscle mass a year or so into hormone treatment.
Me, still flaming gay.
As I grew up, came out, and made queer friends, I became less and less dependent on BL for self-esteem and entertainment. But BL fans were slowly being more accepted in animanga fandom (or at least, people made peace with the fact that we weren’t going anywhere). Same for slash shippers in western fandoms. I was so happy to see all the M/M content. I was so happy to see a space where girls could share their passion (including erotica) and support each other.
When they learned that a gay guy liked the same things as them, they were ecstatic. They never shamed me for sharing their “girly” interests. I had serious conversations with them when they said insensitive or ignorant things, but it was becoming less and less necessary to do so. Fans were becoming progressively more conscious of queer issues.
“Yaoi is for cishet girls.”
“You must be lying about being a gay man. You’re obviously a straight girl.”
“If you have more m/m than m/f or f/f ships, you’re fetishizing mlm.”
Good fucking lord.
It’s so transparent. You feel so self-righteous expressing hate for women (plenty of whom are queer, but yeah, straight women too!) having interests, and god forbid, sometimes sexual interests (gasp!).
You dress it up as “concern for MLM” in the hopes that people will sympathize with your campaign to shame and harass women, men and gender non-conforming folk for daring to like content “not meant for them”, just like 2ch and 4chan dudebros in the mid-2000’s.
It makes me sick to the stomach.
Don’t pretend this is about homophobia. You don’t go after the exact same content if it’s made by “real men” featuring masculine macho “real men”.
You’ve heard of seme/uke tropes? Get ready for aggressive tops and “bottom bitches”!
“Fetishizing Asian men”? Well, good thing that gay dudes have rice queens, and on the other end of the spectrum, “no fats, femmes or asians”.
Transphobic themes? Some men consider “sh*male” or “tr*nny” to be porn categories! But neither anti-fujoshi nor transphobic gay men will talk about trans men — they’re “not real men”, after all, just “straight women invading gay spaces”.
And let’s not get into the rape, abuse, incest, racism, sexism, violence, and plethora of other problematic things that cis gay men portray in gei comi, original fic and fanfic — it puts dark BL and fic written by anyone else to shame.
But it’s okay, because it’s “real men” creating and consuming it, right?
Look, I get it. You want to seem like you’re doing good and fighting for queer men. I’ll hazard you even were fujoshi/fudanshi before and are ashamed of how you acted back then.
But all that you’re doing is misusing terms of a language you don’t know, from a culture you’re not part of and fandoms you don’t participate in, speaking over gay men and Asian fans, othering Asian people, and fostering an environment in which harassment of innocent fans is encouraged and marginalized people are used as scapegoats.
I feel for the trans guys, who go to fandoms to escape the hate and transphobia from the world, only to be misgendered and send hateful messages in the spaces they wanted to have fun in. Who are already accused of “faking it”, of not being “real men”, by bigots in the real world, and now have to face the same horrible things in fandom.
I feel for the queer girls, some of whom may not even be attracted to men, but to whom BL and/or slash means a lot. Who often don’t even have female characters to relate to, much less queer female characters, or simply can’t relate to them very well for a variety of complex reasons. They seek refuge in fandom, only to be misoriented, called “cishet”, having their identity erased to push an agenda.
And I feel for the straight, cis girls, who put genuine effort into educating themselves on queer issues, for whom fandom was a welcoming space where they could finally share their interests and be themselves, be allowed to have sexual interests… and now are being called perverts, deviants, and being told that they taint everything they touch.
And as much as it pisses me off to be called “basically a cishet girl”, it doesn’t get to me. At present, I’m secure in the knowledge that I am a real man, despite being gay, despite being feminine, despite liking BL. I am comfortable with myself and my identity.
But little teenage me would have been devastated.
Hey, anti-fujoshi? I don’t need your faux-activism. Kindly take your misogyny, efemmiphobia, transphobia and identity politics and leave us alone. Or —OR! Listen to the people you’re supposedly trying to protect.
a gay, Asian, fem, queer as fuck fudanshi.
so many people in the tags/replies are like mh no actually i’m not this brand of insufferable at all *proceeds to be even more insufferable* it’s hilarious
Hey, so they’re making a Netflix Harry Potter.
With that in mind, we’re all gonna remember that JKR is a terf who has literally been cited by legislators engaged in legislation that actively harms trans people, and we’re not gonna give her any more money.
That means not streaming the new show on Netflix, because regardless of how much influence she has on the production, she gets paid for it.
We’re gonna make the show flop. We’re gonna show Warner Brothers that we don’t forget (of course, how would we forget, it isn’t as if she’s stopped), and that their business association with terfs is no longer profitable.
It is NOT like Lovecraft, because Lovecraft is very dead and his works are in the public domain. By consuming Lovecraft media, you are not giving any money to old Howard.
“you’re in love with a boy who is a prayer on your lips with no god to go to. he’s bleeding sunlight and you’re trying to patch up the holes in his heart with trembling fingers and the blood keeps spilling. you’re in love with him, here’s the best part: he loves you more than his own life. he’s golden as they come but he’s bleeding out. one day, someone will strike a match on him and he’ll explode. so, here’s the worst part: he loves you so much more than his own life.”
— sunlit lovers | m.j.
i hate when ppl mock “gsa kids” and “baby gays” bc,, like i would literally do anything to go through the early stages of discovery again. Back when i just got so excited at the idea of anything with rainbows, and was excitily telling everyone that i was going by a new name and buying pronoun pins by the handful. And then i found internet discouse and immediatly decided to stop being so gay bc if i did- i would be mocked. i literally hate u all so much for acting like being new to the community and genunily excited is something bad or cringy. Theres literally nothing wrong with a teenager identifying with sixty labels and talking loudly. You know what happens if they realize they’re not ace, or nonbinary, or whatever else you think is fake? then they realize that they’re not that- and if you chose to support them- they also have a lot of good memories of their experiences in lgbt spaces. It’s literally that easy.
Boomers will be like “hurr durr gen z doesn’t know what a phone booth is” as if we didn’t all watch Maes Hughes die in one like four times.
reading this felt like getting shot by a doppleganger of my wife
no offence but there is literally nothing morally wrong with cheating on tests/at school… it’s up there with piracy on the list of Crimes Everyone Is Convinced Are Wrong And Harmful But If You Actually Think About Them For 12 Seconds It’s Fine And You Definitely Should Commit Them At Some Point
99% of computer repair is googling the problem to see if anyone else has successfully fixed it. I have a certification in computer repair and I was allowed AND EXPECTED to use google in my exam.
99% of bartending is pulling pints and adding coke to a spirit. I managed bars for 10 years and have a diploma in Cafe, Bar, and Restaurant Management. I think I can make like 7 cocktails from memory. I use google to find the recipes for the rest.
I was working towards a paleontology degree. On the few digs I was involved in, everything was photographed and shared with experts who weren’t there to get their opinions.
The real world doesn’t operate in exam conditions. Whatever career path you follow, you will be able to consult colleagues in some form or another. You’ll be allowed to use Google and Wikihow and industry specific forums and texts and websites.
Exam conditions do not exist outside of exams.
Billie Joe Armstrong literally wrote a song about coming out as bisexual as a teenager, and then like two years later wrote one that was pretty much all about dressing up in drag and getting fucked by/fucking guys, and y'all STILL say he’s a “straight ally” because he married a woman??
The same goes for Freddy Mercury and David Bowie. Both were openly bi. Both wrote (multiple) songs about their queerness. Both are pigeonholed as either “gay” or “straight”. They were both neither of those things.
hey remember when freddy mercury wrote a literal song about wanting to be allowed to be bisexual without it being a big deal and was incredibly obvious about it and then straighties went “oh lol look at how quirky queen is writing a song all about bicycles!”
This also happened to p!nk, she’s openly bisexual but since she’s married to a man and has had two babies with him, people say that she’s straight.
Like, yeah she does a lot and shows a lot of support for the LGBT+ community but she isn’t just an ally, she’s part of that community.
Biphobia is completely real and so many Bi wlw and mlm are assigned the “straight” role when they just ARENT.
this quiz is so fucking beautiful