do women follow the “jr” “3rd” naming convention
i just realized ive never met a woman whos been named the exact same as their parent and i feel like that has to do with the fact that men are obsessed with themselves and their Lineage or whatever the fuck
The current queen of england is literally named Elizabeth II
monarchs dont count as people
also wanna throw out there that the presentation was called “mim: the language of thots” and we have no concept of gender for the whole language.
we have 3rd person animate and 3rd person inanimate pronouns, and the rule to remember what 3rd person animate is?
“if it breathes, it’s a thot”
oh, and “mim” is pronounced “meme”
i just want you all to be aware that in my linguistics class today during our language creation presentation (in which we all spoke a language we created), i said “þatib œlonkoze, mamuša œtoke” which literally translates to “people i no eat, broccoli i vore”
if i were a zookeeper my intrusive thoughts would be wild
brain: slap that penguin. right across his little blubbery tummy. it’ll jiggle.
me: no??? that’s mean???
brain: polar bear, then
brain: the lions just got fed raw meat
brain: steal it and eat it in front of them
rowan i want you to know that this is the best possible reply i could have received
I work with animals and this is true for me. No, I cannot eat sea stars out the touch tank no matter HOW good you think the cronch will be, brain.
sometimes you wonder what was going through the head of the first human to eat something really weird and then you see this post and stop wondering
This 100% was me at the zoo. Don’t touch Melon, he’s mean. Okay, but I have to touch Bob to make him get his stupid emu head out of my shirt, so what if I also touch Melon until he likes it?
Sephiroth is angery because he has one wing and sometimes attacks people? I want to pet him also. Also he won’t get off the rock I have to clean anyway, surely a little pets on the good side will be fine.
Martha and Stewart are assholes that tag-team while the pond is filling? I bet I could CUDDLE THEM.
The female deer will excitedly nuzzle you in the stomach for feeding them. This is fine, because they don’t have antlers. The male deer is locked up while we’re putting out food because he will gouge you to death with his little nubby asymmetrical horns, because he thinks the females are doing it.
The entire monkey enclosure will eat your fingers for a single fruit loop. They also have the smallest arms and can reach through holes they’ve made in the tarp on the gate to their enclosure. Do not hold hands with the monkeys. (2nd gen old man monkey will also pee on the keepers that don’t give him fruit loops. He is a jerk.)
The rehabilitated bear that still sits like she’s on a couch because she did that when she was living in a crack house? Yes, she looks chill. Yes, she looks The Softest. No, do not pet her back through the fence. No, do not go into the corridor and try to offer treats for pets.
Big Mac does not know he will break your ribs, but YOU know he will break your ribs. Do not enter Big Mac’s enclosure no matter how much he chuffs and displays his belly and rubs on the cage and looks sad. Yes, he genuinely wants pets. Yes, Pinkie is deliberately getting pets where he can see it as a sign of dominance even though she’s a housecat and he could eat her in approximately one bite.
The turtle is mean. Period. He is an old man and he does not like you. He does not like the parrot getting fries and he does not like that he is in a kiddie pool to warm up because his enclosure lost power, and he does not like you behind him preparing food for the owls and raptors. Petting him will not help this. He will rock back and forth and mean mug you forever because he is a grumpy old man.
All of the rabbits need more handling on principle. They don’t know you and they are very distressed that you’re taking their poop away. They can learn, a little, kind of. The guinea pig is insane and will not learn. Do not pet the guinea pig.
this post is gathering some highly blessed zoo stories i love it! thank you
as biologist, can confirm
brain: that frog is very small
me: well spotted, brain
brain: put smol frog in mouth
brain: that lynx…looks so fluffy…
me: it does
brain: we should pet it.
me: it’s awake and angry so no.
brain: baaaaby bunny.
brain: baby bunny goes in pocket
me: nooo it doesn’t.
reblogging for my zookeeper friends
i cannot fucking believe someone knew what i was talking about and had it. you’ve saved my life
does anyone have that image of a facebook post of naurto car rp accounts that said some shit like “naruto carzumaki married sasuke broomchiha” i need it state it’s an emergency
catf8sh :cis person: i identify completely as my assigned gender
People need to realize that there’s a difference between straight people and Straight People™
Straight person: Hey, you got a new haircut. Looks really good.
Straight Person™: No homo, but your haircut looks good on you.
In case you were confused 👌
Just like how there are white people who are gay and then there are the White Gays
White people who are gay: “I’m gay.”
White Gays: “I can’t believe I got accused of racism after calling that person a racial slur! I mean, I know what racism looks like because I’ve been discriminated for my sexuality. How is me being racist even possible? I’M GAY!”
Lmao all the angry White and Straight people in the comments, keep reblogging
neurotypical: i don’t have any mental illnesses or disorders
Neurotypical™: Happiness is a choice!! ✨✨Have you tried yoga? Drink more water and eat kale ✨✨
Cis Person™: It doesn’t matter what you identify as, cause you still have Female Genitals! I’m not being offensive!! Read a book on Human Biology! 🚹🚺
men: I identify as male.
Men™: feminazis ruin everything, get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich bitch
atheists: I don’t believe in god or identify with a religion
Atheists™: Don’t fucking talk to me if you believe in God. Open your closed-fucking-minds!! (usually targeted towards Christians)
nice guys: hey I know when not to invade someone’s space and I totally respect boundaries
Nice Guys™: IVE BEEN YOUR FRIEND FOR A MONTH AND NOW YOURE TELLING ME YOU DONT WANT TO FUCK ME ???? WHAT IS THE POINT OF WOMEN IF YOURE NOT HAVING SEX WITH ME?
this post got all kinds of better since I last saw it
baby boomers: It’s really scary being past retirement age in an economy like this one.
Baby Boomers: Quit whining for handouts and get a job, you special millenial snowflakes!
Christians: I believe in Jesus Christ and his message of love.
Christians™️: If you don’t believe in Jesus then you’re a hell bound sinner that’s probably possessed. If you have mental illness then you’re a hell bound sinner that’s probably possessed. If you’re not straight and cisgender you’re a hell bound sinner that’s probably possessed.
Photo taken by me
I think it might actually be a Caribbean/ American flamingo- it certainly looks a lot closer to that colour! Either way, this is a beautiful shot <3
No it’s just called greater because it’s better than the rest of the flamingos
then andean flamingos should really be called the GREATEST flamingos so jot that down, bucko
I’m sorry these are FABULOUS thank you for sharing
i’m so pleased you agree!!! allow me to take you on a quick journey through… flamingos
tallest boys. very pale pink with bright pink legs and beak. eldritch. genuinely terrifying up close. 3/10
gets points for being easiest to identify. you can really see why they were named after fire when you look at these guys. unfortunately ‘caribbean’ is hard to spell and one time i saw 200 of them run at the window i was watching from in a courtship display, and i’ve never known fear like it. 5/10
a good boy?? a humble boy? just a nice, normal flamingo. bright pink knees make it easy to identify. i have no beef with chileans. 6/10
precious beautiful angels. so gentle? so kind? at WWT, old or sick birds often get put in with the Andeans because they’re a lot nicer than the others and won’t harass them. recently they raised a bunch of chilean chicks and it was the cutest thing i’ve ever fucking seen. 11/10
James’s flamingo (also known as the puna flamingo)
i absolutely cannot consistently ID this bird. there is a single james’s flamingo living in the andean flock at Slimbridge and i can only ID him like ‘that one has a slightly more pink bum’. then again, his name is Mr James, and he’s the origin of this picture
which is one of my favourite things to ever exist, so 10/10 for him
look at this fucking demon bird. i spent nearly a year of my life studying these fuckers and all i learned is that they probably sleep at night time. there’s a flock of 2.5 million of them living on a lake so burning hot and alkaline that it’d burn a human in seconds, and they don’t give a fuck. makes sense. must have pretty similar conditions to their natural habitat of Hell. they’re also only like 80cm tall? there are geese taller than these birds. they look like demons and i love them with all my heart. 15/10
I really love lessers and they’re little demon faces. Chileans are cool tool.
I always thought that Michelin was like a prestigious international society of food critics but they’re a fucking tyre manufacturer.
I like how they were like “well there aren’t many cars around so to get them to buy more tires let’s publish a tour guide to France so people travel more and use up their tires.”
Over time they started to incorporate restaurants worth visiting on their tours and even sent out anonymous inspectors to gather information to rate them and now over 100 years later they made a notoriously grumpy world renowned chef cry because his restaurant lost two stars in a rating system that two dudes made up to sell more tires.
They became a world renowned food criticism magazine on accident?????
ok I have given it a lot of thought & this is what I think:
- a muppets adaptation of pride & prejudice should be called ‘Muppets, Pride and Prejudice’ (comma mandatory)
(I did consider ‘Pride and Prejudice and Muppets’ but like that’s been done)
- Darcy & Elizabeth should be human actors playing it very straight. Kermit the Frog & Miss Piggy are Bingley & Jane.
- Gonzo & Rizzo reprise their role as narrator/greek chorus from Muppet Christmas Carol. this means the film can open w Gonzo very earnestly reciting the opening line
(& then Rizzo being like ‘Gonzo what are you TALKING about’ and idk you could get a skit out of that whilst introducing the book and some of its context for younger viewers! it’d be good)
- major issue would be that Pride & Prejudice has a lot of women in it and there aren’t a lot of girl muppets unfortunately so all the men outside Darcy would have to be muppets in order for there to be enough muppet roles
- leaning towards Fozzie Bear for Mr Bennet. maybe Sam the Bald Eagle for Mr Collins? don’t know if any of the muppets are dickish enough to be plausible as Wickham so maybe he’d have to be a human man idk
further thoughts welcome!
the first thing that popped to my mind was this scene where Bingley is getting nervous about proposing:
but instead Kermit makes “the scrunch” face at least twice:
I mean you know I’m down for anything P&P
But also I facepalmed at the thought of Miss Piggy as Jane.. can you imagine. Surely, she’d be a better Lydia… I think Muppets, Pride and Prejudice would get about halfway through the story and then go WAY OFF THE RAILS.
I confess, I’m not actually super knowledgeable about P&P, I just think the Muppets version should have a Kermit/Miss Piggy romance and given the pattern established by previous Muppet classics films they should be the beta couple
Miss Piggy would be great as a lot of P&P characters but unfortunately there are many of them and only one of her
Also she’d be funny as Jane in part BECAUSE she’s wildly unsuited to the part, but like, she’s miss piggy, she’s going to be Jane Bennet and no-one has the nerve to tell her no
I was thinking about all Darcy’s lines to Lizzy about how “I couldn’t tell if your sister even liked Bingley, she’s just that reserved I guess”, and there are two important takeaways:
Darcy would have to say them with a straight face while we, the audience, are watching flashbacks of Miss Piggy going absolutely WILD at the Netherfield Ball.
Since Jane is the reserved Bennett sister, ALL of the younger Bennett sisters would have to go EVEN WILDER THAN MISS PIGGY.
I was imagining the former & it being something of a running gag throughout the film that ppl keep giving descriptions of Jane that are wildly at odds w how she actually behaves
To be very honest, these “oc rules videos” can be so restrictive that you’d end up with the blandest characters ever. “only use 3 totally desaturated colors” and “no tragic backstory allowed” my ass, do what u want dears
“Bad oc” videos are just adults straight up mocking children for not popping out the womb with perfect design sensibilities.
Hi. Im the creator of the video in the post. And what everyone says i completely agree with. This video is probably one of the worst videos ive made and i think my views were so distateful and awful, the video wasnt intended to criticise people and limit people for what they can and cant do and i deeply apologise if i offended anyone or poorly affected anyone because of this.
Im most likely going to get rid of my old videos because they have awful outdated opinions and i do not want to be known for those said views.
People watch tragedies on purpose. People watch stories about hope on purpose. Pulling the rug on the narrative promise of your story and switching tracks isn’t clever or interesting, it’s just lying about the genre.
If Midsummer Night’s Dream ended with everyone brutally dying, I’d feel kind of betrayed. If Macbeth ended with everyone getting happily married, I’d also feel kind of betrayed.
Yes! You have to earn your ending. They’re not supposed to be twists. They have to be built to throughout the story
You need to have the payoff match the kind of investment you set your audience up with.
To clarify, twists can be well done! But they shouldn’t be “Gotcha! You thought you were watching Type A show but you’re really watching Type B show!”
Like, the Red Wedding is an appropriate twist for Game of Thrones.
It would not be a good twist for something like Doctor Who.
Also, a good twist should feel random, but make sense in retrospect.
*hits every single TV writer over the head with this post*
In the Twilight universe, “vegetarian” vampires have golden eyes from drinking animal blood, a more ethical source than human blood, which would give them red eyes. It has also been established that a diet of human blood makes vampires physically stronger. So, if the Cullens wanted to become stronger without jeopardizing their morals, could they consume mosquitoes instead? How many mosquitoes would they have to eat to survive? Since mosquitoes drink from both humans and animals, what color would their eyes be? Orange? In this essay, I will
on average an adult has about 4.5-5.5 liters of blood circulating in their body. a female mosquito, when completely full, can hold up to 0.001-0.01 milliliters of blood in their abdomen depending on the species. if we take the average of both (5 liters & 0.0055 milliliters), it would take around 909,090 mosquitos to equal the amount of blood in a single human. although there isnt an exact number of the entirety of the mosquito population, we can use fermi estimation. there is about 57 million square miles of total land area on earth, while say 50 million square miles are habitable for mosquitos. with a rough of estimate of 1 mosquito per 50 square feet (overestimate due to area and time of year). after multiplying the numbers and fixing the units, there is a rough estimated 70 quadrillion mosquitos. theoretically, if a vampire lived in a mosquito dense area, such as brazil, indonesia, malaysia, thailand, etc, and could sustainably hunt around a million mosquitos to fill themselves every time they needed to feed, there would be enough mosquitos to survive on due to their large population and fast reproduction.
This is honestly everything I have ever wanted thank you for your contribution to the cause
Hey guys I think I figured out why vampires can turn into bats
Burt Ward (Robin in Batman 1966) makes a special appearances in Crisis on Infinite Earths “Hour One”
And he’s playing an older Robin here too and this is the 60′s Batman Earth :D
Gods I love this crossover so much :D
Ghost-Spider #1 (2019)
written by Seanan McGuire
art by Takeshi Miyazawa & Ian Herring
Spiders are friends not fiends
gwennie’s suit is made of pals
A costume of buddies :D
so my dad is a college professor and he just got alerted recently that in an effort to go “paperless,” the faculty is having their printers taken away. My dad decided to take this opportunity and… create a meme? So he goes proudly up to me and tells me “I created a meme!!!” and lo and behold…
my dad’s first meme
he was so proud of it and he emailed it individually to other faculty and nobody gave him any acknowledgement, he came into my room all sad. pls share to give my father the meme support he deserves
op this is literally so fucking funny please tell your dad i love him and i need more memes
so this IS peak performance
My favorite thing about evolution is that it’s tried to make crabs on at least 4 different occasions independently of previous species
my fave thing about alligators is that evolution was just like.. “yeah that’s fine” and left them for 80 million years