3 TIPS FOR A CUTE STOMACH
1. look at ur tummy
2. say “wow this is a cute tummy”
3. congratulations u have a cute tummy
Honestly I’m all for Raremon and Goblimon getting their Rosencrantz and Guildenstern moment.
Oh look, another functionally irrelevant change to the Tumblr UI
Okay but whatever update did apparently fix the error in app that was preventing me from accessing like half the personized settings (including notification settings and privacy settings)
Oh look, another functionally irrelevant change to the Tumblr UI
It’s hard to not laugh them out of the store when you have customers asking for low-sugar weight gainer protein powders.
I never used to understand what “making connections” looked like but it turns out it’s standing at a party and saying “I’ve been thinking about getting into the film industry” and someone saying “Oh, Sarah works in the film industry” and Sarah yelling from accross the room “Did someone say my name?!?!?!”
You casually mention that you’ve been thinking about such and such and your professor overhears and is like “oh I know someone who works there. Do you want me to email them for you?” And you go “Sure.”
It’s the six layers of separation thing. Everyone is only so many layers away from everyone else. So if you stand in the correct rooms and say the correct things out loud once in a while eventually someone will say “Oh, I know a guy.”￼
And then eventually you turn into the guy that someone knows. I think. It’s hard to tell.
that literally just sounds like witchcraft
I mean what is witchcraft but just saying things out loud and hoping something happens
am witch, can confirm – sometimes also light incense
I’ll wear the maid outfit but I won’t be your maid because I’m a rebel I’m ungovernable no gods no masters bitch
puts on my maid outfit to care after myself sweetly before going to kill everyone in the whitehouse
We are cut from the same maid cloth
Posts that put you on a list… the list is called people I respect and would commit political murder in a maid outfit with.
uniform of the revolution
We have nothing to lose but our collars, girls
One way for the US to effectively and non-violently pressure other countries to improve their human rights records is to improve its own record.
If human rights abusers can deflect accurate criticisms they face with whataboutism (i.e. pointing to similar US human rights abuses), then just call their bluff and address those abuses in a public fashion!
From the perspective of maximizing human welfare, the optimal US response to this comment is to close the Guantanamo Bay base under the watch of UN forces and then send the Chinese embassy a letter that says “your turn” in comic sans
you can’t close all the prison camps in the world but you can certainly close the ones you run yourself.
Every day I wake up thankful that my lactose intolerance is mild enough I can still eat cheese
Everytime I hear “a 9/11 a day,” I revert back to 13 and need to sit down for a moment til I can breathe again.
along the same vein…
As of May 7, 2020, 76,503 Americans are confirmed dead of COVID-19. To put this in perspective:
- 58, 209 Americans died in the Vietnam War (1961-1975)
- 54, 246 Americans died in the Korean War (1950-1953)
- 25, 000 Americans died in the American Revolution (1775-1783)
- 15, 000 Americans died in the War of 1812 (1812-1815)
- 13, 283 Americans died in the Mexican-American War (1846-1848)
- 4,576 Americans died in the Iraq War (2003-2011)
Also: The annual number of deaths in the USA from infectious disease is about 75,000. That’s twelve months’ worth of deaths. We are slightly over the annual death count for infectious disease after only four months and seven days.
Don’t kid yourself that this is normal. This is not even remotely normal.
As of January 23, 2022, the number is more than 865,000 Covid deaths in the USA alone. This is not normal. This is not ok.
I wish this feeling upon everyone who wants to wear a dress, its really the best
this makes me so happy as a fat hairy guy who likes skirts and dresses i never get to see guys like me in dresses it’s always skinny twinks this makes me so happy 🥺🥺
If you are a larger gentleman, and wish to partake of the dress-wearing experience, please accept these tips to help fit your first dress!
1) You want something with stretch in it. Dresses are (often) built for people with boobs, and until you get familiar with how they fit your specific body, trying something super-stiff will 100% end in tears. I promise you, I am 32 years old, I have been wearing dresses all my life, and I still get pissed at dressing room mirrors because who the fuck designs some of these. There are fitted, tailored dresses designed by sane people who expect that their clothes will be worn by human beings, and they will make you look fine as fuck, but make your life easy and don’t start with them.
2) Dress sizes were designed by sixteen ferrets on crack and are not consistent between brands, styles, or vintage vs modern. Use them as a guideline, not a rule, and don’t let them upset you. Very often they’re adjusted in order to target a specific audience.
3) Lauren by Ralph Lauren is an amazing plus-size brand. Both of my fitted dresses are Lauren dresses, and that isn’t because I’m a label snob, it’s because I try on a dress that I think looks good and I go “YEEEEEEEEEESSSSS” and then pull it off and look at the label and go “ … . why am I surprised?” When you’re ready to branch out into fitted dresses, I strongly recommend finding your local Macy’s or Nordstrom and checking out their Lauren section. Even if you don’t buy anything from that section, it will give you a much better idea of how fitted dresses should look (flattering!) and feel (comfortable!).
4) Empire waists are your enemy. Those are the ones with the raised waistline that, on someone with boobs, sits right beneath said appendages. They will 1) ride up and 2) make you look pregnant, and without breasts to fill out the cups it’ll look like you don’t know how to fit your size. It does not matter who you are or how tall you are, if you’re above like a size four, empire waists are not going to be comfortable or give you the look you want. Just save yourself the time.
5) Arm holes on a sleeveless dress do not fit like arm holes on a tank top. They’re cut differently. Before you buy, MAKE SURE you cross your arms over your front and give yourself the biggest hug you can. Then put your arms behind you as far as you can. If you feel the fabric snag or chafe, you will end up wasting your money because the dress will be stupidly uncomfortable. You might be able to fix this by getting the same dress one size up, but if you choose to try one size up, prepare yourself for disappointment first. It’s often a sign of poor design or craftsmanship.
6) Part of trying on your dress should be SITTING DOWN. If this isn’t a dress you plan to wear with tights or leggings, you need to make sure it covers the backs of your thighs. (Either that, or you need to resign yourself to peeling yourself off chairs, and that fucking hurts.)
7) If you wear a mix of different underwear types, make sure you wear boxers when you go to try on dresses. Nothing will suck more than throwing on your dress and realizing you can see your shorts very easily underneath.
and if you don’t fit a dress you thought you would, don’t feel bad. it happens to girls all the time. dresses on average aren’t really made for anyone except really thin people.
Do I reblog this every time it crosses my dash? Yes, yes I do, because it contains helpful information for finding and trying on dresses, and EVERYONE deserves to try on dresses if they want.
My additional piece of advice? Damn near everyone, when trying on clothes, suddenly has Good Posture when they’re looking in the mirror. So give it a few minutes, then see how the dress feels when your body has relaxed into what your Regular Posture is.