I think people with intrusive thoughts and disorders that are centered around/include intrusive thoughts are lovely people and deserve all the love in the world.
It’s not your fault you have these thoughts, you wouldn’t judge yourself for a nightmare you have, so you shouldn’t judge yourself for these thoughts that you didn’t purposely think about.
People with ocd, pocd, ptsd, anxiety, psychosis, bipolar disorder, adhd, depression, (just to name a few) are incredible people.
You are not your thoughts, your morals, values, and personality and not dictated by your thoughts.
You are good, you are trustworthy, you are compassionate, you are safe.
I hope one day your thoughts get easier to manage and easier to deal with, you deserve to feel comfortable in your own mind. <3