They all include “you may ask why we haven’t done any of this up until this very moment and the truth is we just didnt but we will now ❤️” in their statements. Like we know why, you’re not fooling anyone. None of you just learned about systemic racism or racial bias just now but until you stood to lose out on major profit you didn’t give one fuck about addressing it because it wasn’t getting in the way of you pursuing your greed. You had no interest in examining the ways you perpetuated and benefited from it because doing so would be more inconvenient than not. Brands are not your friends. Caring about your dollar is not caring about you.
im fucking tired of seeing people and corporations say theyre going to start supporting black people and be more inclusive like have yall actually examined your bias? acknowledged WHY you didnt include black people before? actually dedicated yourself to anti-racism? or is this just a bandwagon you’ll hop on because being pro BLM is so “in” this season
i was re-reading “how to talk so little kids will listen” earlier today, and it reminded me of how much of our culture is so thoroughly punitive – every facet of the way we behave, and expect others to behave, is connected by the concept of punishment. there has been a rise in respectful parenting theory in the past 40-ish years that goes directly against this punitive parenting style.
i have some books that have helped me with respectful parenting here:
something i was thinking in my re-read of this book earlier today is how my first impulse while parenting tends to be a reactionary, punitive impulse. sure, you might be patient when the kid is being cute and you have lots of energy. but on an off day? you have to fight against what you’ve learned. even if the kid does something incredibly naughty.
i was reminded of a time when my kid was left alone with the cat, and she started rubbing lotion all over the cat. i think she thought she was doing something nice for her; she was only 2.5 at the time. when i saw the cat, my anxiety spiked. i spoke to her sternly and had her help me clean up the cat, but i was wracked with fear and nervousness – “oh no, what if the cat licks herself and gets sick? what if the cat dies? what if the cat dies because of what my kid did?” i started to feel like just talking to my kid about it wasn’t enough… should we say, “time out”? no dessert? no more cat? no more trips to the bakery? i promised myself i would never spank, but inside, there was a part of me that felt like spanking!! that’s what my parents did!
but after i stewed for a while, i came to my senses. my kid was just being a kid. little kids have no impulse control! but me? i’m an adult, i should have known better! it was really my fault for leaving the kid and the lotion and the cat all together, unsupervised. in a way, my strong reaction to her behavior was just myself projecting the guilt at having a bad parenting moment onto her.
how effective is punitive speech, and punitive acts?
do you think she would have learned something if i had hit her? or locked her in her room? or took away her snacks? (these are not what those in the respectful parenting community would call natural consequences – these are just unconnected punishments, things that have nothing to do with the cat.)
no. i still would have had a lotioned cat.
what if i had lectured? yelled? gone on at length about how terribly naughty it was, and what a bad girl she was?
no. i still would have had a lotioned cat.
the actual consequence in this instance was for me. because i messed up. the natural consequence: now i have to clean up the damn cat and put the lotion where my kid can’t reach it… and supervise the kid more closely, because she’s only a toddler.
my kid felt bad as soon as she saw how bad i felt. she didn’t show it at the moment – just nervous laughter. but i could tell she felt bad, and sure enough, later that night, she cried about it, and we got to talk more about how the lotion was not good for the cat, and how i was going to put it out of her reach for now.
and that’s…. enough.
it really is.
and it’s so fucking hard to wrap your mind around it. because our entire culture revolves around law and order, crime and punishment! if people mess up, hurt them! lock them away! demolish their self-esteem!
none of that shit helps anyone. it only feels good as a short-term solution.
in the long-term? we have to start believing in the inherent preciousness of every life. it will be hard as fuck to change our collective mindset. but we have to do it. because everything is connected to it, from huge things like climate change, all the way down to a little toddler learning how to interact with a cat.
once you see it, you’ll see the punitive attitude in everything. you’ll see how little it actually fixes. and hopefully you’ll become an abolitionist too.
One thing I will never understand is parents posting endless pics of their baby and small children on social media, showing off how cute they are. THERE ARE CRAZY PEOPLE OUT THERE. TAKE YOUR INNOCENT CHILD OFF SOCIAL MEDIA. You’re literally exposing this baby to a million evil eyes, potential predators, pedos, spiteful women, nutcases etc. I just don’t get why people think it’s necessary to plaster their child on SM. Just send the pics to your family and shut up. I just see it as so unsafe and irresponsible, so unneccessary.
Y’all need to go to standwithbre.com and sign the petition. It takes 60 seconds.
When you sign the petition, it sends and emails to 20 officials who can charge the men responsible for her death.
Bre, a black woman, was shot dead by white police officers in her own home. They had the wrong house and shot her for being home while black. The officers have not been charged.
Stand for her like you did Ahaud. Black women are not incidental victims of police brutality, we matter. Fight for us. Sign the petition.
People aren’t out protesting to be waitresses and hairdressers again. People are out demanding that their waitresses and hairdressers go back to work. The idea is to force the service industry to serve them despite the risk to the servers.
If you have ever wondered what modern white america would think about slavery today consider the white women yelling and screaming because no one will die to do their frosted bangs. They feel every bit as entitled to own the lives of others as they did 150 years ago.
not to be dramatic but there’s something really fucked up that happens to your sense of morality when you grow up and people keep telling you things like “treat others as you’d want to be treated” but fucking no one practices or enacts it. my family said “be kind” and “love your neighbor” left and right when i was a child, but i had no example of what those things actually entailed because i was simultaneously told to not make eye contact with people perceived to be homeless, shown that boundaries could be disrespected with no consequences, & witnessed countless instances of injustice where the people who raised me could have helped those around them including myself but chose not to. i grew up thinking selfishness and meanness were forms of love. i have had to teach myself empathy and compassion because no one showed me how to be kind unless it was convenient and even then there were always ulterior motives. makes me feel like an evil person sometimes but i realize i am a product of my environment and the cycle ends with me. i am full of love and light and kindness and i have worked so hard to get here.
I see Netflix is pushing #BlackAF now. I hate all those shows where Black people and Blackness are caricaturized for an obviously white audience. I hate shows where the characters are Black before they’re human. And I don’t care for Black shows that lack monoracial Black people. Particularly, women.
And I think it’s disgusting that every episode is called some version of “because of slavery.” As someone who teaches and researches American slavery, there’s definitely a lot in 21st century America that derives from it but not a ridiculously wealthy family renting a Fiji island. It’s just turning the whole history of slavery into a joke.
This is the first time I’m finally seeing someone express this kind of opinion about the show and I’m just very grateful that you did. The writing is absolute trash. The dialogue between this family is so vulgar, it’s like 95% insults. Like a child literally tells their younger sibling that he should kill himself in a way that’s framed as a joke and I’m supposed to laugh at that? None of the actors are funny enough (or talented enough) to bring any real humor or humanity to their roles so it just comes across as this very disjointed, disconnected group of people speaking horribly to one another. There’s nothing redeeming about any of these characters so any “heartfelt” moments or moments of “reallness” just seem forced and awkward, like nothing about them is relatable or deserving of any empathy. I know Rashida Jones is Black but watching her try to play the role of a Black mother is insulting. Like I haven’t seen such flagrant miscasting since Emma Watson in the Bling Ring movie. Kenya Barris is always whining about how awful his children are. Like what reasons do viewers have to become invested in these characters lol I’m tired of this concept of the “New” Black family consisting of a Black man with a light-skinned, racially ambiguous wife and their light-skinned, racially ambiguous children. Nothing about this show is “edgy” or entertaining or funny. They thought they were doing something with this but it’s really just one of the corniest, most upsetting representations of a Black family I’ve ever seen on tv.
“We owe a debt to third world women theologians who have noticed the similarities between Mary’s life and the lives of so many poor women even today. Giving birth in a homeless situation; fleeing as a refugee with your baby to a strange land to escape being killed by military action; losing a child to unjust execution by the state; our newspapers yield up these icons of suffering even today. Mary is sister to the marginalized women who live unchronicled lives in oppressive situations. It does her no honor to rip her out of her conflictual, dangerous historical circumstances and transmute her into an icon of a peaceful, middle-class life robed in royal blue.”
— Sister Elizabeth Johnson, “Mary of Nazareth: Friend of God and Prophet”
(via inmilkwood )
i knew the state of society’s view of children was bad but i didn’t realize just how dire the situation was was until the lockdown began. this last month or so has really opened my eyes to how much people dislike children, even their own children, simply because they exist and they need them because you know… they’re small humans without the capacity to care for themselves.
it seems harmless but memes talking about how parents need alcohol to deal with their kids or can’t wait for their kids to go back to school so someone else can deal with them does harm in that it dehumanizes children and puts blame on the children for existing when it’s not the child’s fault they were brought into the world. it also brings about another uncomfortable fact: if you don’t like the way your children behave, barring them having a behavioral disorder or disability, you’re probably to blame and need to reevaluate how you’re raising them.
children are more than innocent bystanders… they are helpless and absolutely reliant on the adults around them to not only provide for them, but to show them love which in turn sets the precedent for how they will love in the future. this attitude implying they asked to be here and that it’s okay to joke about how annoying they are has got to stop.
just remember, “poverty” is a social construct. when the economy collapses, the farms don’t disappear. goods don’t vanish from the stores. poverty is created through exclusion. it is violence. so when you see articles about how the pandemic could “plunge billions into poverty,” please remember that it’s not the virus that’s creating poverty.
if i have a warehouse stored full of grain, and a drought wipes out your crops, it’s not the climate that’s making you starve, it’s me with my refusal to share my stockpile.
parents rly be like “i still dont take full ownership of how i hurt you in the past and, sure i held you back from making your own decisions for a majority of your life……but idg why that means you cant suddenly be a well adjusted and functional adult now… that’s on you and any resentment you have towards me is a mark of your poor character and has nothing to do with me🤪”
everyone’s making quizzes so here’s mine: which of my elementary/high school teachers are you? the perfect balance of niche yet relatable tropes
“Delta CEO forgoes salary for 6 months to avoid layoffs” is a horror story about capitalist wealth and accumulation, not an uplifting story about how humans come together during crisis
Why was he being paid that much in the first place
Stop falling for sappy, saccharine tales about “good companies” or “benevolent CEOs” and see the fact that profit, growth, and business “success” are built on the back of human suffering, exploitation, and the corralling of the common good for the benefit of a tiny few
They’re not being charitable. They’re giving you what already should have been yours