//Okay, this is something I want to address because it’s honestly getting on my nerves.
//I understand that there are people who want this blog to resume, and I’m sorry that my hyperfixation and motivation problems have kept me from doing that. But you know what doesn’t help with that? You know what doesn’t inspire me to get back to writing this?
//CONSTANTLY SPAMMING ME WITH THE SAME ASKS OVER AND OVER AGAIN
//There’s a lot of ways to kill my motivation, and that’s up there. It doesn’t motivate me, it’s annoying, disheartening and makes it seem like people don’t really give a shit about the other stories I’m trying to write.
//Yeah, maybe trying to run three blogs at the same time was a bad idea. Maybe it’s taxing, but it was my decision. I want to write what I want to write. It’s how I operate. At the same time, I don’t want to just churn out content for the sake of having content. I want to make things that are decent, not questionable or low quality, and actually in-character and entertaining.
//BUT I’d also like if my ask box didn’t keep filling up with “Hey, so when are you gonna update askhinonjizumi?” “Hey, when’s askhinonjizumi gonna start taking questions again?” “Hey, when’s this blog gonna start up again?”
// I get it. I hear you. I got all your asks. I saw these
already. You don’t need to keep asking them over and over again. That’s about the least effective way to get a response out of me.
//I’m sorry, I’m just really sick of seeing the same thing over and over. I’m not mad at those who keep sending it, I’m just asking for the spamming to
Please. Just. Stop. It’ll happen when my motivation comes back, I swear. Constantly asking me just makes me want to put it off.
//Hey guys, sorry for disappearing on you all so suddenly, and for the massive slowdown in asks.
//Just wanna let everyone know that, yes, I am still very much alive. What’s been happening? Well, long story short, depression hits and it hits hard. The start of this year has already been pretty hard on me and I’ll admit that I’m not exactly looking forward to what’s coming.
//I’d rather not go into specifics, but ennui, fear of the future, self-esteem problems, general lack of motivation, you know how it is.
//That, and the fact that I got a message that…well, to be perfectly honest, made me feel like a shitty writer. It almost made me want to quit doing this. It wasn’t even malicious, I just took it way too personally and it stuck with me for way too long.
//Because of that, writing anything was kinda hard for a while, but then I returned to working on my book and that helped me feel a bit better. I got swept up in that, as well as shows I’d been meaning to watch.
//Although, for the record, deciding to watch Your Turn To Die in the midst of a depressive episode wasn’t my best idea. I actually had to stop because it was getting to be too much for me. I’ll get back to it at some point though.
//I also decided to indulge in what’s probably a dumb fanfic idea that I just ran with, which I think I might post on AO3 at some point. Because I love giving myself more work when I already have so many unfinished projects : P
//Other than that, I’ve been hanging out with friends, trying to re-motivate myself and get back my passion. And seeing the messages people kept sending me, asking me to come back or if I was okay made me feel bad for just vanishing out of nowhere.
//Rest assured, I’m alright and I’m sorry. Thank you all for being patient with me. You guys are great ^^
Question: you three are so cute together! wish i had a relationship as healthy, my partners so far have been pretty toxic :(
Well, first, thank you very much.
I’m sorry to hear that. Relationships shouldn’t make you feel like that, and it can be really disheartening to end up in one bad one after another.
Granted, it’s important to be aware of your own behavior too. Sometimes people do things that are harmful without even realizing it, and think the problem is with someone else.
Not that I’m trying to blame you for anything. It’s just something to keep in mind. Sometimes it’s expecting too much too quickly, sometimes it’s expecting your partner to keep you propped up and not doing enough to motivate yourself.
It hurts to be on the receiving end of either of those.
Relationships go both ways. You need to communicate with your partner and your partner needs to communicate with you. That’s the most important thing above all else. There needs to be mutual understanding, trust, and respect.
And it can get really easy to get discouraged when you’ve been in so many bad relationships. Sometimes you just get unlucky and end up with the wrong kinds of people for you.
But that’s no reason to give up. If you want a healthy relationship, you need to be ready to make a serious commitment and you need to keep trying. That’s what I’ve committed myself too when Hajime, Hiyoko, and I got together.
This isn’t easy on any of us at times, but what we have? I’ll do whatever it takes to help keep us together.
But it’s also important to remember that you don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy. Sometimes it’s good to just take some time to be yourself, to improve and find things you enjoy doing either on your own or with friends. Maybe find new interests that you can explore. Whatever you decide to do, I really hope things work out well for you.
Question: Hey Hajime what’s the reserve course like? Don’t you wish that you had a talent? I bet you remember that project I told you about right?an alternate timeline and there was secret project and you were a part of it? Like I said you are Izuru Kamukura the artificial ultimate hope what would you do if you had every known artificial talent at your disposal?
I really don’t get what you’re talking about. I’m not this Kamukura guy, whoever the hell he is. I don’t have any talent, but I don’t think getting one implanted is a great idea.
Question: But Hajime you should be proud to have a talent like that you’re the artificial ultimate hope Izuru Kamukura! Deep within your mind Izuru is lurking somewhere and he’s bored with the world.
You say that like it’s a good thing. Artificial talent sounds great and all, sure, but I’ve read enough books to know it’s a bad idea. Projects like that never turn out well for anyone.
Question: My friend has done gymnastics her whole life. That has made me very insecure as of lately. I'm physically weak and never worked out. Even if I start now, will I ever be able to catch up to someone like her in physical strength?
Well, first thing you should know if you wanna get stronger: every body’s different. Some people bulk up or lose weight easier than others. Genetics play a big part in the whole thing.
But just because some people are physically stronger than you doesn’t make you less than them, and it doesn’t mean you can’t ever get stronger! You’ve just gotta find what routine works best for you!
A lot of people quit because they don’t get the results they want as fast as they want. The most important part about training is persevering. Once you have a technique that works best for your body type, you warm up, eat right, you just have to keep at it. But don’t push yourself to the point where you end up hurting yourself.
But also, you shouldn’t base your self-worth on strength or looks or things like that. You should get stronger because you wanna get stronger, because it’s something you want for yourself.
I used to be a pretty chubby kid for sure, but I started swimming because it was fun. Not a huge reason for it, but it got me where I am now.
Don’t get discouraged if you wanna start, but remember that you’re not less of a person either way. You don’t have to be thin or a bodybuilder to be happy with yourself!
Question: Because Hajime in an alternate timeline similar to yours there was a secret project being formed and you were a apart of it that secret project was called the Izuru Kamukura project,a project of creating the ultimate hope a student that was artificially created to have every talent imaginable all concerning human experimentation and they picked you to be the human subject in that alternate timeline you are Izuru Kamukura the ultimate hope!
I…overheard a conversation I probably shouldn’t have, and…I found some things out.
You probably know already, but he, Koizumi-chan, and Saionji-chan are all really happy together.
And I’m happy for them. I really, really am, and I hope everything works out for them.
But…when I thought about them being together earlier, I just…
*Sonia hands her a tissue*
Nanami-san, may I ask you something? You and Hinata-san have been friends since you first arrived here, correct?
Yeah. I bumped into him at the fountain on his first day here. Turns out we liked the same game, and so we started playing together. I really liked our gaming sessions we used to have.
We don’t do it as much as we used to though.
You still consider him a good friend though, do you not?
Of course I do! I want him to be happy, just like he’s made me happy. I want him to get to hang out with all of us and not get thrown out just because he’s in the Reserve Course. He’s fun to be around, smart, dedicated, determined-
If I may, do you think he is handsome as well?
I…guess so? I never really thought about it that way.
But…yeah, he is.
Nanami-san…you have feelings for him as well, do you not?