Can’t wait to see my girl get butchered by Life Story I guess 😔
Can’t wait to see my girl get butchered by Life Story I guess 😔
bruce wayne, incapable of not supporting children: good job out there today shazam. you should be proud
the rest of the justice league who don’t know about billy: what the FUCK is happening right now
I feel like it would be even funnier if Bruce didn’t actively know Shazam was a kid, but its just his dad instinct goes off whenever Shazam is around and even Bruce is kind of weirded out by it.
Batman: You need to be more careful out there Shazam, your look before you leap attitude is going to get someone hurt.
Shazam *Visibly pouting and looking glum* yes sir.
Batman: *Sigh* I can’t stay mad at you. Look, how about you hit the showers,, then we get some pizza for the watchtower. My treat. We can discuss strategy then.
Shazam: Sure thing Batman! Thanks. *flies off*
Green Lantern: Okay Bruce? The fuck is going on with you and that guy?
Batman: I DON’T. KNOW. Its like every time I see him I find myself planning a college fund for the guy.
Green Lantern: He’s like in his thirties right?
Batman: I think so? I mean I don’t really know anything about him outside of work. I think I may need to do some digging here Hal because this is starting to freak me out.
Well now I’m imagining Batman and the Shazams eating pizza.
Hal, casually sliding over: Hey, Cap, how old are you?
Shazam: Oh, y’know, immortality–it kinda blurs after the first few thousands years
Batman, sweating: You’re immortal? When was the last time you drank water?
Shazam: JUICE IS A PERFECTLY GOOD SUBSTITUTE–
Nightwing: So Bats said that I couldn’t always eat donuts but it’s like, what’s the worst that could happen?
Shazam, nodding: If you can eat food, it’s better than nothing.
Batman, speaking to what he assumes is an immortal god, not really sure if Shazam even eats: You should eat your vegetables
Batman, walking through the Tower at late-o’clock, watching Shazam and Cyborg play video games: Get some sleep, it’s important that your body gets enough rest
Batman: whats wrong
Shazam: Nothing, moneys just going to tight for a while
Batman: heres my credit card
Shazam: what- thanks! I’ll pay you back I swear
Batman: no need
superman: can I borrow a dollar?
@catboybatman this ur man?
Employee at the comic book store: *under his breath* “Who gives a fuck about Taskmaster…” *realizes we’re still standing there* “I’m sorry for the language! I just don’t get why people are so upset about Taskmaster! They’re all pretending they’ve been fans for years but who actually cares? I mean like, I couldn’t even tell you his real name!! If she shows up again in the mcu, that’s great, but if she never does that’s fine too. It’s kind of like Crossbones. It’s cool when he’s there, but at this point I couldn’t even tell you if he’s alive in the mcu. Same with Batroc. I probably care as much about Batroc as I do about Taskmaster.”
My dad: “Woah now, watch what you’re saying about Batroc.”
Employee: *deep sigh* “I forgot. You’re a Captain America guy.”
I’m. weirdly tempted to watch the netflix daredevil show. Is it like. good? is it worth it?
Oh my god so there’s this scene in the show where my friend who’s playing a butler type guy is supposed to open a suitcase full of cash, except he couldn’t get it open and they played it off so well it was so fucking funny.
He spent a couple seconds trying to open it and then held it out sort of questioningly to the Evil Businessman who took it from him in character and said “idiot.” He couldn’t get it open either and after a couple more seconds they decide to just move on and Evil Businessman shoves it back into my friend’s arms, in that way where it sort of collides with his chest and it takes a second for him to grab hold of it, you know? and then my friend fumbles it and drops it right onto his foot and Evil Businessman stops and glares at him in character as he picks it back up. They carry on and then realize that at this point the lead is supposed to be the one holding the suitcase so Evil Businessman yanks the suitcase out of my friend’s hands and holds it out to the lead. It looked entirely intentional except for the part where he dropped it and even that (I was told by someone in the audience) looked sort of intentional.
Meanwhile, in the tech booth, me and my lights co-manager are absolutely dying and there was a light cue that was supposed to happen when he opens the suitcase, so we’re trying to make as little noise as possible while laughing hysterically and typing in the command to skip the cue. The technical director was sitting behind us watching the livestream, which is on a few minutes delay, and after they’d recovered from the suitcase and moved on, he started laughing too.
God I hope it makes it into the blooper reel.
Any reason why you dislike the Kate origin retcon? I also really didn't like most of Lemire's run, but the change to Kate's backstory was probably the one thing I liked from it.
i just prefer her original origins: she’s proficient in archery because it was something to do at her fancy schmancy summer camps as opposed to taking it up after seeing young hawkeye in action when she was like 11, she’s trained in some martial arts because she took her own initiative to learn self-defense etc. after she was assaulted so she can protect herself and help other people in danger, and she’s only given the hawkeye mantle because cap saw she didn’t want to take his shit just like clint would have.
basically, she wasn’t aspiring to model herself after anybody–she just so happened to be at a wedding that the young avengers crashed and rescued hostages with her own skills. and became hawkeye while clint was dead. originally 0 input from poor ol’ pile of ashes clint
also, i’m not too big on the “she knew her dad was evil for years” angle, because i think it takes away from her discomfort with her family’s wealth and volunteer work by making it more a result of guilt from the ~supervillain~ aspect as opposed to the “hmm maybe it’s kinda inherently criminal that we have so much money” aspect
Do you have like… a suggested reading list/order. For hellblazer comics and related media. Literally I’ve looked around and all I’ve found is that I simply Do Not trust Comic Men and their opinions
okay hello anon. this is a LONG POST and an updated/more thorough version of This List right here, so i’ll be tagging @nuntox tox my beloved, again. ( & because im a bloody saint everything’s got non-t0rrent links(: )
John was formally introduced in the Saga of the Swamp thing book three, and while I have, not actually read any of Swamp thing I’m told it’s like, a good enough read.
Hellblazer is like, it sure is a Vertigo comic. And If you haven’t read any of the other titular Vertigo comics (i.e: Preacher or Sandman) and you go into this blind, know that this comic is uh, not for the very easily offended/the faint of heart, I should say. I WILL say that I only recommend reading up until Hellblazer #250 because Peter Milligan absolutely destroys John and it’s bad it’s terrible it’s disgusting peter milligan my behated.
To give you some kind of frame of reference for John as he is in Hellblazer, the first arc he’s given is the reference point for the Constantine “Feast of Friends” episode in which John feeds his best friend to a demon in order to get rid of it. This arc is honestly. Very good, personally outside of the Obvious “Man” shit that happens, I think Jamie Delano is a fantastic writer and that first arc is a really good introduction to who John is and what John will do moving on from then. A fun factoid i love sharing too is that John’s canon bisexuality of today comes from a throwaway line in the early issues of Hellblazer and a terrible arc where he has sex with a bruce wayne parody.
Anyway, if you just kind of want to dip your toes into Hellblazer, then (I’m only halfway through Jamie Delano’s run in my reread so this is all from memory of like. 2013 when i raw-dogged hellblazer.)
The most popular arc of John’s is Dangerous Habits, written by
my arch nemesis Garth Ennis, which spans Hellblazer #41-#46 (collected in the Vol. 5 link) . And frankly it is also a very well done arc. (if i remember right, this is where Matt Ryan bases his portrayal of John from and also what inspired the 2005 movie starring Keanu Reeves, Constantine. They also kind of sped-ran John through a similar thing in Legends of Tomorrow 5x05.)
And a few of my personal favourite John arcs are:
Overall, Mike Carey’s run of Hellblazer was by-far my favourite. Although honestly for the full John experience I really would recommend just. Reading through issue #250 of Hellblazer.
And if you’re at all interested, the really bad arc john has with the bruce wayne parody is Lapdogs and Englishmen (Hellblazer #162-163) & Highwater (Hellblazer #164-167) ((both collected in the Vol. 15 link)) however. if my memory serves. there is a CW for drug use without consent, rape, and nazism. There’s nothing graphic, but. Well. remember what I said earlier?
Good Hellblazer spin-offs are:
And there’s also like. The Books of Magic and other things that John makes appearances in but I will be honest with you I never looked into any of that stuff. It’s out there though.
There was a solo Constantine series for the new52 literally just called “Constantine” and it ran for four volumes, but I also wouldn’t recommend reading it just because my memory of it is that they made john a little bitch.
The same goes for the nu52 Justice League Dark like. It ran 6 volumes. it was a cool concept but just. meh.
The second john nu52 thing released was Constantine: The Hellblazer and i don’t think i finished reading it back when it was being released but i remember it being fun!! this is the modern comic that gives john a boyfriend.
Now that we’re past the nu52, they brought Justice League Dark back and Diana is there??? I don’t know what’s going on here or if john is even THERE but you’re welcome to have a look.
There’s also the Hellblazer Rebirth comic and it sucks i hate it i didnt like it it sucks tim seeley CHOKE challenge.
There is the Sandman Universe presents: Hellblazer Series and NOW THIS. THIS IS WORTHY OF THE HELLBLAZER TITLE. it’s a solid narrative that’s woven to be JUST like classic hellblazer. i read the rebirth comic before this and it was SUCH a refreshing read, it’s very john. it’s a solid read.
And lastly, comic-wise, for now, HELLBLAZER RISE AND FALL MY BEST FRIEND HELLBLAZER RISE AND FALL THIS IS WHY I HAVE FALLEN BACK INTO THE HELLBLAZER HYPERFIXATION HERE HE IS MY LITTLE BOY MY LITTLE MEOW MEOW MY BELOVED MY EVERYTHING HE IS MY EVERYTHING YOUR HONOUR!!!!!!!!!!
John is in these DCAU films, voiced by Matt Ryan,
TBH all these movies kinda suck but I love john and matt!john and of the three of them justice league dark is the best one.
THE PILOT IS TERRIBLE AND THE SECOND EPISODE IS INSANELY RACIST but. but. it DOES pick up by the midseason onward and papa midnite and jim corrigan and zed are so sexy and for WHAT.
John can also be found on DCTV in the arrowverse and these shows/episodes are:
And, Phew. I believe that’s all I got for you anon.
Not one of the actors using his bio in the program to write a whole-ass character analysis where he uses the term “machiavellian”
Horrifically embarrassing moment during rehearsal today.
So there’s an exit at the top of a set of stairs, and they propped the door open with a curtain hanging over the doorway to avoid more moments like the ensemble shoving the lead straight into a closed and locked door with a noticeable thud.
I’m in the tech booth down the hall from the door, when my friend appears in the doorway, beckoning wildly and whispering “HELP HELP” and I’m like “oh my god are you dying” and I rush out without even putting my script down only for him to be like “yeah the curtain fell down and I can’t lift my arms in this suit.”
I try to stick it back up, and my headset falls off. I shove it into his hands and try again. I conclude that the tape isn’t sticky anymore and we need more so I send him back to the tech booth to ask for the tape.
I am standing on my tip toes holding the curtain up to block the light from the hallway because there’s a critic in the audience, when the ensemble walks into the hallway. Two different people offer me a chair to stand on. He comes back with the tape, but not the scissors. I send one of the ensemble members back for the scissors, except I horribly mispronounce the word scissors.
We are able to rip the tape off and just stick it up. Another person offers me a chair. The girl comes back with the scissors a little to late. I have to hold the curtain back as the lead stumbles through the doorway with his giant set piece. I take the scissors, the tape, and my headset. I leave my script and have to stop halfway down the hallway to go back and get it. The entire ensemble is staring at me.