Where is she?
I haven’t been the greatest friend, nor the perfect daughter, the perfect grand-daughter, I haven’t been a good sister or a good student, I haven’t been myself.
I let myself down, I let almost everyone I truly love down, for what?
I’m distracted with the little temptations life has to offer, for a guy that broke my heart a thousand times and kisses my pride away. For a guy that betrayed all the love I gave, all the time and all the things that made me who I am.
For what? for going out for a drink with people whom wouldn’t even know if I were dead, for the good feeling that lasts moments, for the rush and fun that always ends once my head lays on the pillow and all I can think of is how empty I feel.
I am no who I used to be. I am not all the things I loved about myself.
I am not the same kind person, I’m not the bubbly soul or the innocent girl that
not only forgives but forgets because she truly believes that people do change.
Because she truly believe that all people were born pure, all people were born with goodness and always sees the light at the end of the tunnel.
Some would say its growth Dunia, but how is it growth? when a flower grows it blossoms, when a caterpillar grows it turns into a butterfly, and when I did, i became colder.
I’m sorry, I’m sorry I let them change me, I’m sorry that the person you used to know and love so dearly is no longer recognizable, I’m sorry she is somebody else, and for what its worth, I miss her too.
It’s a constant fight between me, her, and every other wall built between us, I’m trying so hard to catch her, but over the time she grew weaker and weaker, and every time she held on to me, I was too heavy.
I’m trying to find her again, but until then, thank you. Thank you for seeing the best in me the same way she used to do with everyone, thank you for knowing that despite all the shit she does and all her carelessness she still loves you.
Thank you for never making me feel like I was a baggage, I grew so familiar to feeling like a liability yet you always make me feel like I’m worth it, loving me always came easy to you, it wasn’t something you felt obligated to do, and I’m grateful forever, and always.
She’ll come back I promise, just gathering up the strength to pull her one last time.