@auniverseofimpossibilities

buttpoems :

gentle-reminder :

any decisions you made in the past were made with the knowledge you had then, not the knowledge you have now - please try your best to be kind to that version of yourself, and to yourself now

holy shit tell your girlfriend congrats on the fun gender

satanic-lymphatic :

literaryreference :

The Peel is an offshoot of the Onion but honestly if someone told me this was real slam poetry I wouldn’t even question it

I thought this was a Ted talk

vakariaan :

Penelope was such a funny character. No, that wasn’t quite right. She was…surprising. Yes, that seemed to sum her up. Very few people really knew her; she had certainly never developed a reputation as a sterling conversationalist. He was fairly certain she’d made it through three-hour parties without ever venturing beyond words of a single syllable.

But when Penelope was in the company of someone with whom she felt comfortable—and Colin realised that he was probably privileged to count himself among that number— she had a dry wit, a sly smile, and evidence of a very intelligent mind, indeed.

uncalm :

I want a cottage with a stream behind it and a forest that goes for miles on and deer are seen peeking out from the branches. Tea is brewing and my garden’s flowers are blooming. I am at peace with the world and full of kindness.

carnival-phantasm :

Damn, they weren’t lying

thisfeebleheart :

For what? Um, I’ve never done that before with a guy. Okay. Yeah. And uh, I was getting a little scared that I was gonna let you leave here without us having done that. So uh, thank you for um making that happen for us.

crab-tempura">omahdon:

crab-tempura :

Living in Townsville must suck like you even think about the word graffiti and suddenly 3 kindergarteners are pummeling you to death while insulting your mother

This was very confusing until I realised OP meant Townsville: the fictional hometown of the Powerpuff Girls, as opposed to Townsville: a city in Queensland, Australia.

bebx :

everythingfox :

nom nom nom

OH MY GOD

silly-slacker-person :

cockmcstuffins :

bella was lucky she didn’t have a cell phone of any kind because you know ya boi edward would be blowing up that phone 24-7 going “saw a snail today…. effervescent” or some shit equivalent

Posts that changed the timeline

rohirric-recorder :

undeadoctopus7 :

rohirric-recorder :

Hey does anyone have that painting of the Argonath but they’re dabbing? I don’t need it for anything but I do want to inflict it on all my followers again.

Here you go

Thank you!

cosmicrhetoric :

oh fuck internalized too much lotr as a kid, actually believe there’s good in the world or some kinda shit

enthymesis :

Euripides, from Grief Lessons: Four Plays; translated by Anne Carson

Text ID: Gods are stubborn. So am I.

fatmaninalittlesuit :

politijohn :

lmaonade :

tumblr online quiz titled WHAT FLOWER ARE YOU  first question “which BTS X CHUCKY CHEESE fanfiction category makes you go jkshfbikyushnfkbhjnsfkbhjnsfhkbn?” 

beguines :

shitposting-against-onision :

vinceaddams :

I was looking through my queue and I saw this and now I’m wheezing with laughter.

Sluts

annelisters :

the mummy movies but its just the o’connell family (and jonathan) yellin

twitblr :

Not Sunny (x)

carry-on-my-wayward-butt :

carry-on-my-wayward-butt :

being pregnant has significantly increased the amount of times i’m told “yeah my spouse, who im married to, doesnt want kids and i do” or the other way around like bro. why in the fuck did you get married. did you even have one single conversation about your shared goals. your relationship is going to fail. you are going to make each other miserable. what the hell are you thinking.

aprilslady">aprilslady:

aprilslady :

Isn’t it time we subvert the tragedy of the selkie and swan maiden tropes of having their coats and their agency stolen and instead have a story of a swan maiden and a leopard seal selkie terrorising their respective towns until they’re both exiled on the same island together and at first they hate each other

But I think you can all guess where this is going

Featuring:

Swan maiden: How the fuck do they expect us to build a shelter???? NEITHER OF US HAVE HANDS

Selkie: *already shimmying out of her seal skin* Not dressed like that you don’t

Swan maiden: You gonna put anything else on? No? Ok. She’s building a house. Naked. In the snow.

Swan maiden: Sure hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me

stylesthebestest :

BRIDGERTON | Fun scenes — 2 of ?

tomhardysmyspace :

a-certain-transgirl-dumbass :

roach-works :

apolloshire :

hollypunkers :

apolloshire :

so I came to a realization while reading some stuff about ozai. bitchlord had the shortest reign of any firelord ever, but that isn’t the funniest thing yet. it was listed that the most notable victories of his reign was the surrender of omashu and the fall of ba sing se.

both of those were led by azula, not ozai. in short, his fourteen year old mentally unstable daughter did more in ozai’s seven year term than ozai ever did.

do what you want with this information. loserlord, indeed. 

He didn’t even get the throne on his own, Ursa masterminded the entire coup for him

the tags say no lies

ozai fought two thirteen year olds as a grown man. the first one surrendered. the second one did not surrender and went on to absolutely kick his ass. 

I’ll add that Ozai lost to the 12-year-old Avatar quite literally 15 minutes into his Sozin’s-comet-infused raid on the rest of the world. You know. The comet that literally began the war and gives Firebenders insane amounts of power. The invasion DIDN’T EVEN START and it was over.

This man lost the War that had lasted 100 years while he was cracked out of his mind on power to a 12-year-old who had only learned the other three elements earlier that year. I repeat. LOSERLORD INDEED.

You can tell Iroh was the cool brother

evilkitten3 :

the-stray-liger :

The older I get the less I put up with JKR 

“Slytherins didn’t participate in the battle of Hogwarts bc they’d be fighting family” Do you have ANY idea of how much I’d fucking LOVE to fight some ppl in my own goddamn fucking family forget the goddamn wand I’m gonna punch my homophobic racist uncles in the throat à la muggle

also there’s no way that each and every slytherin has a death eater family member that’s just dumb

heywriters">yespolkadotkitty:

heywriters :

LOUDER

genderfluid-and-confuzled:

cursed-and-haunted:

cursed-and-haunted">cursed-and-haunted:

genderfluid-and-confuzled:

cursed-and-haunted:

cursed-and-haunted :

I know this is going to make me sound pretensions but I have to get it off my chest. I feel an unimaginable rage when someone posts a photo and is like “this picture looks like a renaissance painting lol” when the photo clearly has the lighting, colors and composition of a baroque or romantic painting. There are differences in these styles and those differences are important and labeling every “classical” looking painting as renaissance is annoying and upsetting to me. And anytime I come across one of those posts I have to put down my phone and go take a walk because they make me so mad

In case you’re curious here’s what I mean.

Renaissance(distinct lines, stability and the individual man):

Baroque (bold, chaotic, dramatic):

Romantic(romanticize the simple hard working life):

Do you see the difference?

op is a vampire who painted works in all of these times