First thoughts of the day:
Its not my first time here. Gotta keep my mind clear. Its not my first fucking time here.
Thoughts now 21/11/2017 @ 10.04pm
Bro I’m trying so fuckin hard to do fucking life and fucking get my shit together but its fucking so hard when i feel constantly fucking lost with everything, with fucking career, with relationships, with family, with just fuckin everything. I fuckin know you gotta work hard to achieve a good life but how the fuck can u do that if you have no fuckin opportunities, no fucking one giving me some advice, no one fuckin speaking to me, no one fucking pushing me even though they can see I can’t fucking push myself.
It’s fucking down to me to fuckin push myself but fuckin how do u do that when you fuckin feel anxious and fuckin depressed all the fuckin time. I fuckin worry so fucking much and i fucking hate it.
I’m so fucking angry at myself for not fucking doing this sooner. Leaving it till I’m fucking 20 to fucking get my shit together. So fucking many suicide attempts, so many fucking arguments between people i fuckin care about, I haven’t even fucking saved any money, i fucking wasted so many opportunities cause I wasn’t fucking thinking.
I want to fucking get into pharmacy work, i want to fucking move out and fucking find someone that fucking respects me, loves me so fucking much and fucking wants me, i want to have good relationships with my fucking family, i want to fucking have kids, i want to have a big family and we fucking stick together. I want to fucking be able to fucking drive to see my sister that lives a while away, i want to go on holidays with my partner and fucking make good memories and fucking take pictures, print them and fucking plaster the walls with good fucking memories and have someone special to fucking support and fucking love.
I’m fucking running out of time.