Today is my birthday and I would like to ask for something.
So one of the things about my life is that my parents were really terrible at building life skills and sharing sound life advice and practical adulting skills.
If you are a parent yourself, or you’re great at adulting, or you were lucky enough to have great parents, or you’ve been in that place and learned and have something you would have told your past self, or you simply want to be a pal and do a good deed, reblog this and share a bit of sound advice, the more mundane the better.
Stuff my mum drilled into me:
- never immediately buy the stuff stocked at eye level. They stock the most expensive stuff there. Look above and below before buying anything - the bargain stuff, which is usually fine if it’s food, is usually by your feet
- relatedly, if it’s a tool rather than something like food or toilet paper, and you can, try to buy the second cheapest version of the thing rather than the absolute cheapest - “second cheapest” is usually where the biggest step up in durability happens
- it’s both less work and less money to double the recipe on a casserole/lasagne/shepherds pie and freeze one of them in one of those foil dishes, than it is to make two casseroles on two different evenings with seperately bought smaller ingredient packs
- specific things to buy in bulk, like kilos and kilos of all of them whenever you have spare money: rice, lentils, tins of tomato paste or crushed tomatoes. Ideally spices and oil too. With these three things always hoarded in bulk, you can eat boring but healthy and fairly nutritionally complete food for a good few weeks, and eating enough will hopefully make it easier to resolve whatever the basic money issue is in the first place - also makes it easier to do the smart thing and choose rent over new food
- before you commit to acting on negative feelings, eat and drink something. Whenever we were angry as kids, my mum had a rule that we could only come to her about it if we’d tried eating something first. I have many memories of sulkily cramming a slice of bread into my mouth or chugging down a glass of milk in front of her, and it wasn’t always the best, but the net outcome is that as adults, even my not amazingly self-aware cis brothers tell their girlfriends “I really need a big bowl of pasta! Let me get to the stove!” instead of just expressing anger, and I do try to fix my problems at a more basic level before going off at someone
- if your friend is in a crisis or has just had a baby, the best thing you can do is bring them frozen casseroles/lasagnes, so they can have a healthy dinner without thinking about it much or spending money