Do you ever just want to give Edward a hug and a steaming mug of mountain lion blood and tell him it’ll be ok
i think actually the key to successfully doing tumblr (and especially doing fandom on tumblr) is realising that your blog is your little house and you can post about whatever you like there. once you realise you are just living in and decorating your very own silly little online house you start focusing on what makes you happy rather than constantly performing for & compromising your tastes for & placing all your self worth on little scraps of clout, and you will be a lot happier for it
like at the end of the day being in fandom is about being unapologetically dorky and enthusiastic about the things you love & getting notes and/or approval can be a really fun side effect but if you start turning that into your raison d’être in fandom then fannish activity is going to start feeling like a chore very very quickly when it should be what you do for fun. and you will probably also end up being less true to yourself along the way if your main priority is getting clout or fitting in with the Fanon Crowd
If you notice me reblogging
- a repost
- stolen art
- false information
please let me know, you’re not rude or annoying and I actually do give a fuck and I will correct my mistake, thank you
Also, if you notice me reblogging things from
- anti-sj blogs
- TERFs or SWERFs
- other shitty people
please give me a heads up. I’ll never get angry at you for letting me know and I’ll actually be really glad that you kept me from giving some awful person more visibility.
see i wasn’t gonna elaborate on imprinting anymore but i just had a revelation on this fine monday morning and now I’m getting a lil bothered so I’ll bite anyway. so obviously smeyer’s canon isn’t good or accurate but assuming that imprinting isn’t a thinly and POORLY veiled excuse for grooming, and assuming that the imprintee DOES establish the boundaries so the imprinter can “be whatever she wants him to be,” then why tf didn’t emily just opt for sam to be her friend and not deliberately hurt her bestie??? based on the canon “rules” of imprinting he obviously would have obliged so????? leah was well within her legal rights to kick emily’s ass for hooking up with sam when she had the option not to!!!!!! anyways smeyer is a creep and a terrible writer part 363747374
WHY DIDNT THIS EVER CROSS MY MIND
Friendly reminder that there are 750 Quileute. Seven Hundred and Fifty. Think. For reference- how big was your middle school? (around that, maybe?) I think we tend not to understand how personal their inclusion in Twilight was. Smeyer took advantage of them. She’s rich off of them and their culture. She exploited and misrepresented them. Seven hundred and fifty people. She could look each one of them in the eye and apologize in one afternoon and instead, she sits on 125 million dollars as if her hands are tied.
She could move their whole school out of the tsunami zone if she wanted to.
Donate to Move to Higher Ground
please go get vaccinated and make edward cullen proud
i have just had the revelation that edward cullen’s icicle dick sparkles in the sunlight and now i want to throw myself off a bridge
edward in twilight: “bella i love you so much i’ll never leave you”
edward in new moon: *leaves*
Retail Twilight AU Part 2
Rosalie as assistant manager. She’s mean, she’s the boss bitch, people don’t like her but respect her work ethics. No one knows how she is dating the cute himbo department manager from toys but somehow it makes sense. She doesn’t take no for an answer, gets things done, and is the best at her job in the whole store. She hopes to one day to be store manager so she can kick out that stupid new cashier that Edward says is prettier than her. Psh, as if.
Emmett as the toys department manager. He started as a cart pusher, then became a toys sales associate and his true calling was discovered. He was extremely well versed in all the toys, he could help anyone find the perfect gift, he also got in a bit of trouble because he loved to play with the toys. Somehow he’s dating Rose, though he doesn’t even know how that happened, but he loves her so much. He became great friends with Bella when he helped interview her for the cashier job. He knew she had potential and could also understand his craziness.
Jacob, the cart pusher. He doesn’t like to wear a shirt & has gotten in trouble in the past for it but he’s got that bad boy attitude even tho he’s like 15. He likes to fix cars in his free time, is a hopeless romantic & when he saw the new cashier Bella he instantly fell in love. He hates the Cullen family, specially that Edward because he’s always trying to get with Bella.
Charlie as the security guard. Ex-police officer that got tired of all the bad things that come with the job. Has been with the company for a year. Got Bella her job interview once she moved in. Likes that cart pusher kid, Jacob, and the friendship he has with Bella. He treats everyone with respect and he’s well liked. He admires Dr. Cullen for adopting so many kids at a very young age. He hopes Bella can be happy living with him and he’s so happy she’s here with him, even though he doesn’t say it enough he loves her very much.
Renee from maintenance. She’s Bella’s mom, though you wouldn’t know it from how she’s always borrowing money from her. She followed Bella to Forks when she and Phil had a big fight and now she “cleans” the store. No one can ever seem to find her when she’s needed, and everyone is convinced that she smokes crack in the big family bathroom when she’s supposed to be cleaning it.
The worm as a lawn & garden associate. It loves dirt, it likes to hang, and loves flowers a lot. It doesn’t do much because of its size but people are always so nice to it and protect it from birds and other predators. It has won Employee of the Year for 5 years in a row. No one can say no to it.
RESUME IN THE BACKGROUND AKSJSJSJDJ
The Cullens but they’re more sibling and parent-y:
- Esme is both good and bad cop, Carlisle is tired/exasperated cop
- Alice and Emmett are the siblings who genuinely get along well with everyone
- Jasper is the quiet one who sometimes gets forgotten about
- Rosalie and Edward have the most traditional “they grew up close in age and live to annoy the everloving shit out of each other” brother-sister dynamic
- Instead of sisterly arguments about clothes in a “is that my sweater???” way, Alice and Rosalie’s go more like:
“Why aren’t you wearing the outfit I laid out for you?”
“I am not wearing that ridiculous thing to high school, Alice! I’ll look like even more of a freak!”
“I’ll have you know that ‘ridiculous thing’ came straight off the runway of Versace’s fall/winter collection!”
“Well, even Versace makes mistakes.”
“In the name of Gianni, you take that back!!!”
- Esme’s number one form of discipline is grounding (duh)
- Rose generally knows her limits with Esme but can give a whole lotta attitude to Carlisle and he’s too pure to realise he’s being roasted until Esme scolds her
- They often have to ban stuff but more as a precautionary measure than disciplinary (eg, the words “Emmett, step away from the fireworks” have been uttered on several occasions)
- Esme organises the occasional family hunting trip and insists that afterwards they gather round a fire to sing songs and roast marshmallows they can’t eat because she once overheard a soccer mom talking about a family camping trip (this then spurred the “we get pulled out of school to go on camping trips when it’s sunny!!!” excuse which to them is an inside joke)
- Rosalie and Emmett like to spend time together that incorporates both of their interests, which usually just means Rose throwing mechanical tools at Emmett to see if enough force will eventually crack his skin. Alice keeps score and tries to give tactical advice based on her visions but the rest of the Cullens have been too scared to enter the garage anytime they’ve heard Emmett say “babe, do it harder!”
- Throughout the decades, Edward has always kept angsty journals, which Emmett always steals and passes to Rose. Whenever she’s bored she pulls one from her collection, lights a bunch of candles, outs all the lights and does a dramatic reading of some random entries for Alice, Emmett and Jasper while holding a torch under her chin
- Alice dresses Rose up in her own designs and they have high-fashion photoshoots any humanless place they can get to. It gives Alice a chance to express her passion without the career she’ll never grow old enough to have, while Rose loves feeling and being told she’s beautiful. Rose and Emmett’s room is wallpapered with framed mock Vogue covers of Haute Couture Rosalie sparkling in the middle of a sunny desert, hanging off the side of a cliff, making snow angels on Everest, straddling a great white shark, sitting with her legs over the side of an erupting volcano, and more
- They’ve all tried to set Edward up several times pre-Bella which usually ended up with them apologising to the potential date for his absolute disinterest and occasional rudeness
- Several baseball games have been cut short because of Rose ripping a limb from Edward anytime he’s teasingly cocky
- Jasper’s power is mostly needed to calm Rose down whenever Edward infuriates her
- They celebrate Chrismukkah, obviously
- The reason Carlisle has so many scarves is because they’re all the kids buy for him for Father’s Day/Xmas/his birthday-not-birthday since they have no fuckin clue what to get a multi-billionaire whose only interest is his wife
- Esme imposed one strict rule about Mother’s Day: any gifts must be homemade. This was the result of the kids annually arguing about what to get her and eventually warring with individual presents trying to out-do each other, which led to Alice robbing a Monet painting from the Met only for Esme to sternly tell her “put that back immediately”
- Homemade gifts for Esme usually include an original song from Edward, an Esme-inspired fashion line from Alice (each year the theme is inspired by Esme’s specific interests, hobbies, or qualities), something dark but oddly touching from Jasper (“here’s a scrapbook. Look, there’s the ticket from that show we saw the day you first physically restrained me from killing a human”), something that screams ‘family’ from Rose like a patchwork quilt or something because she knows she and her siblings substitute for something neither she nor Esme can ever have but she wants Esme to feel like she has it regardless, and finally, an indecipherable family portrait made of macaroni from Emmett
THIS IS AMAZING
Bella literally the whole of twilight:
LMAO I’M JK I LOVE HER
Edward the entirety of midnight sun:
Emmett definitely had frosted tips throughout the whole saga- smeyer just didn’t mention it cause she didn’t think it was necessary
just checking in again to say that leah clearwater deserved better
i feel like edward cullen has a secret obsession with princess diana
anyone know where I can read life and death online for free? I can’t find it online and I don’t wanna support smeyer by buying it
rosalie literally every time bella opens her mouth: