writer: this is one of my male characters! he cares about his guy friends and loves them deeply.
tumblr: oh! so he’s gay!
writer: uh…no, he’s attracted to women.
tumblr: ….so he’s bi!
writer: uhh…no…….he loves his guy friends but he’s not romantically/sexually attracted to them.
tumblr: ….so you’re homophobic.
Healthy male friendships are almost as rare in mainstream fiction as gay male relationships, and maybe more rare in fanfiction. Let men be wonderful friends without pushing a romantic relationship, just like men and women should be able to be wonderful friends without the pressure of a romantic relationship.
*AGGRESSIVELY SLAMS REBLOG UNTIL I DIE*
This is literally the reason men are so terrified of being open about loving each other platonically, because they don’t want people to assume they’re gay just because they can be supportive of their fucking friends
I literally got anon hate about my response to this post, and I just want to say that I’m sorry…
for not reblogging it sooner.
Psyche bitch, this is a good post.
This is like a direct response to half of Tumblr.
Not all relationships have to be romantic. Being close to someone doesn’t mean you are in love with them. Platonic friendships can be just as strong and wonderful as romantic ones.
Hey as a gay dude, I am beyond SICK and TIRED of mutuals I like reblogging this piece of crap post.
This post is thinly veiled homophobic propaganda, the OP is a homophobic conservative christian, and all of you are regurgitating this message uncritically.
[Image reads: “Gay Christian is NOT an oxymoron.”
Comment: “Depends on what you mean by gay Christian. There are Christians that struggle with same sex attraction and there are false converts living unashamed and unrepentant in sin.”]
[Ask reads: “Do you believe homosexuals who give themselves to Christ will go to heaven? I️ know it’s a big topic but I️ don’t see homosexuality as being a bigger sin than any other. All sins are equal in my eyes and we all sin everyday knowingly. So what does this mean for homosexuals?
Reply: “There is no sin that disqualifies someone from the grace of God. If someone confesses with their mouth that Jesus is Lord and believes in their heart that God raised him from the dead… they will be saved. Being gay doesn’t change that… however, the Christian life is one of perpetual repentance where you constantly turn from away from yourself and your sinful desires and constantly turn to Jesus. Being gay doesn’t change that either.“]
You get the idea.
But y’all eat it up. Because your insatiable need to get back at “yaoi/slash fangirls” makes you blind to the way this kind of rhetoric hurts gay guys.
[Comment 1 reads: #CS Lewis destroyed fujoshi I cannot believe
Comment 2: I can’t believe a Christian writer in 19-freakin’-60 was forward and progressive thinking enough to discuss the toxicity of assuming men can’t form emotional connections with someone they aren’t dicking.]
Nevermind that C.S. Lewis was absolutely not “forward and progressive” by today’s standards: he firmly believed that homosexuality was a sin and that any love between people of the same sex is lesser/false, like most people at the time.
His homophobia doesn’t show in his writing as much as his sexism and racism, though, lmao.
Can you tell that I don’t like C.S. Lewis very much?
But people are praising his Straight™ discomfort at two male friends being perceived as a couple as “““woke”““, ignoring the fact that gay couples can be just as much friends as two straight men (friendship and romantic love are not mutually exclusive, people!!!), and that being mistaken for a gay man shouldn’t make you so disgusted, because it’s not a bad thing.
The “CS Lewis destroyed fujoshi” comment is extremely revealing. You people don’t actually care about real life gay men. You just want to bash girls who like fictional gay ships.
Fun fact: I’m also japanese, and I see you people hating on fujoshi without having a single clue about how using “fujoshi” as an insult is misogynistic and homophobic, and that the slash/BL fandom in Japan is famous for being a safe haven for queer japanese women. Like. The stereotype for a fujoshi in Japan is a lesbian. Y’all are trashing japanese lesbians because they like gay ships.
I know many of you live in Tumblrland where slash shipping is the norm, but outside your little slash fandom bubble, being okay with two men being a couple is uncommon. My gay friends are asked all the time by their families to introduce their SO as their “friend” when family or kids go visit them. And that’s when they’re not beaten up or kicked out of the house when they come out.
There is also not a shortage of platonic male friendships in media. Have you forgotten that “buddy film” is an entire genre of cinema???
We’re more likely to get queerbaiting in the form of two “straight male friends” than an actual gay couple on screen, and even queerbaited friends are rare compared to “no homo’d” straight male friends.
And the “shippers reading gay romance in interactions that aren’t explicit romantic” thing that OP and other asshats on Tumblr love complaining about? That’s just a mixture of queer readings of media + picking up on subtle signals of queerness, which is like. A staple of queer/LGBTQ+ culture.
I don’t know if younger people/people who aren’t in the queer dating scene in a homophobic country realize how different the gay love language is. It HAS to be subtle and easy to be read as platonic, because if we get caught, we can end up killed. The signals we use are very often the same ones that shippers pick up on: lingering eye contact, casual displays of affection, hinting disinterest in the opposite sex, etc.
They’re also the same signals that academics use when applying queer theory to a piece of media. Especially since explicitly depicting homosexuality in literature and on film has been discouraged, if not forbidden, for a large chunk of the history of these media, and the only way to convey it was subtext. Here’s a video on that. I highly suggest you watch it. What slash/femslash shippers are doing is basically an unsophisticated version of that. “Baby’s first queer reading”.
If reading queerness in fictional relationships that aren’t explicitly gay makes you uncomfortable, maybe think on the fact that we all take it for granted that the M/F leads of a story are going to end up together, even if there was no set-up for the romance. Gay pairings often have the same or more romantic subtext as straight ones; we just have less payoff, less representation, and more haters. Reflect on that double-standard.
Also, I shouldn’t have to say this, but while it IS annoying when people assume you and your friend are a couple in real life, interpreting fictional characters as queer doesn’t hurt anyone. They’re fictional. They don’t have feelings. And people IRL are much more likely to assume you and an opposite-gender friend are a straight couple, because of heteronormativity.
The toxic masculinity that prevents male friends from showing more platonic affection to each other is the EXACT SAME toxic masculinity that makes them think that being mistaken for a gay man is a horrible thing. Blaming gay couples for that is homophobic. Blaming gay ships for that is misdirection.
“Gay couples are destroying male friendships” is an ancient homophobic argument, and I would appreciate it if you guys stopped recycling it. Thank you.