The year I turned eight he read Treasure Island to me front to back three times. I loved the young narrator, Jim Hawkins, but rooted for the doomed pirates… especially Captain Flint, dead and buried like his treasure. Captain Flint, whose shadow still fell years after he’d drunk himself to death in Savannah. I begged my father to tell me more… “Years ago,” he began, “when Flint was still a good man…” Every night for the rest of the summer my father told me a new story…
“…To want one thing, that’s okay. We don’t call that greed.” “What do you call it?” I asked. I wish I could remember his answer. Why can’t I? Who decides what we keep and what we lose?
- When Captain Flint Was Still a Good Man, Nick Dybek
Saw an op-ed that was on the surface a complaint about kids not wanting to take on family heirlooms but read like an elegy to dying traditions. The hardest part was the anxiety without recognizing that they didn’t pave the way for the decisions they assumed their kids would make.
(This is written entirely within the dominant white/western culture - about traditions that have neglectful stewardship rather than those actively suppressed)
The anxiety makes sense. You’re seeing, too late to do anything about it, that there’s no foundation - no space - for the traditions you expected to pass on. Your kids _can’t_ take your mom’s fine china. So now instead of enjoying what you have you worry about its future.
I see a pattern in these op-eds though - a pattern in what’s left unsaid. There were responsibilities tied to these traditions. You collectively assumed they _would_ be passed along. So collectively, what did you do to ensure those traditions _could_ be passed along?
Op-eds never speak for everyone, but it’s worth acknowledging the pattern in what speech is deemed worth sharing widely. And in this particular pattern, there’s an answer: that answer looks like “nothing.”
You want the china passed down but your kids have no room in their rentals. You want grandkids but your kids don’t have the financial stability. You want that cross-country RV neverending road trip but you’ve had decades of wanting lower taxes more than you wanted infrastructure.
The bleak outlook for traditions is a direct result of the unmaintained foundations for them.
The second best time is always now - if it’s important enough to op-ed about, what are you willing to change to get it back? What will you give up or re-prioritize?
I kinda think that world-defining assumptions are always gonna break without maintenance. So rather than getting mad at whoever’s next for not carrying on the norms we didn’t do upkeep on, when it’s my turn, I hope I’m introspective enough to help instead of externalize & blame.
The bleak outlook for traditions is a direct result of the unmaintained
foundations for them.
The second best time is always now - if it’s important enough to op-ed
about, what are you willing to change to get it back? What will you give
up or re-prioritize?
I follow a Facebook group of “Memories of …” for my hometown - a rustbelt community that has gone from a thriving hub of industry to a much-less-thriving place.
The group is a collective lament. Decades-old pictures of well-kept churches. Aerial shots of the main intersection downtown, lined with big cars. Scanned advertisemetns from local stores featuring pictures of their interiors. These alternate with the drumbeat of news: the Catholic diocese is closing churches. Selling them. Tearing them down. STores downtown are closing. The traffic light has been replaced with a four-way-stop.
“That’s the church my parents were married in!” “How could they tear down that beautiful building. Such memories!” “All the businesses are closing. It must be the taxes.” ”They’ve sold the old lodge downtown.” “They’re not opening the skating rink this year. We always used to go.”
And sometimes I chime in.
“Do you attend that church? Do you give? Or do you just want the building to look pretty for you? “ “Do you volunteer at that park? Why not?” “Did you vote for that recreation bond issue?” “Are you a member of that Lodge? Why not?” “Do you shop downtown? Or did you start shopping at Walmart and Amazon to save a few bucks?”
If you feel something is worth preserving, why do you not participate in its preservation?
Holy hell, that photoshoot of them both sat in the bathtub in soaked clothes is one of the hottest things Ive ever seen, although possibly joint-hottest with the clothes swap in the woods where shes holding his chin to apply lipstick *fans self *
YOU’RE SO RIGHT AND YOU SHOULD SAY IT. They’re just SO pretty. They’re both so gorgeous and truly scarily talented
honest to god can’t stop thinking about this song about jeff bezos by philip labes (link takes you to his spotify). it’s such a good example of politically driven folk music.
Jeff found a genie in a bottle Who said, “I can give you anything you ask” “You can have your wishes three And a million more for free It’s unlimited, just set me to the task.”
Well, Jeff thought a while, Said, “I want houses, "I want boats, I want fancy modern art, I want tickets to the Met, I want my own private jet, And a rocket into space just for a start.”
Well, the genie waved her arms and made it happen His every wish bolted from the blue And folks all over town grew enamored, gathered ‘round To admire the man whose wishes had come true
They said, “Let’s hear it for the man who has everything! By good fortune he’s been set so far apart.” “Yeah, let’s hear it for Jeff who has everything! 'Cause his wishes are only at the start.”
Well, Jeff heard their shouts and he grew worried He said, “Everybody’s getting in my way.” The genie smiled as before, “You’ve got a million wishes more. You can even give a bunch of them away.”
Well, Jeff got confused and sorta quiet 'Til he finally said, “I have just one wish more.” “I am satisfied, so I wish that you would die So you cannot grant wishes anymore.”
Well, the genie’s eyes got big and sad and shiny 'Til she finally said, “Your wish is my command.” And with an effervescent sigh, she disappeared before his eyes And no wishes were ever granted there again
So, let’s hear it for the man who has everything! By good fortune he has set so far apart Yeah, let’s hear it for Jeff, who’s got everything! Every single fucking thing except a heart
just had a dream I got a computer virus that took the form of a rampaging pixelated gorilla that immediately began to wreak havok across my screen
i didn’t know what bonzibuddy was before today. so you’re telling me theres a pre-existing waking world desktop malware gorilla but I somehow happened to dream about a separate distinct desktop malware gorilla
Im not sure if youre in the fandom, but I do know you like sweet faced hairy guys covered in blood, we're getting bard whump in s2 of the Witcher! *vibrates *
I am not Actively a witcher fan but I did quite enjoy the first season and I DEFINITELY like my men ripped, slutty, filthy, and violent, and my women Terrifying, so I am pretty excited for s2!!! VERY excited about Jaskier’s hair in it. I love Joey with longer hair. I might need to go back to picking away at my digital painting of Very Wet Joey I started forever ago based on that one TAD photoshoot
An older Black woman in a bonnet and glasses speaks,
“Hey sugars, I was just sitting here and something just came to my heart to say. And at my age, when stuff be coming on your heart, you better go ahead and be saying it. ‘Cause you know I got more days behind me than I got in front of me. And I was feeling like some of y’all out there, you got dreams. You got expectations for yourself, but you know, you’re feeling like you just don’t believe in yourself.
Well honeys, if you don’t believe in you, it’s gon be so hard for other folks to believe in you. So, do you know what I want you to do today? I want you to start practicing telling yourself that thing we used to say to you children all the time,
‘You can do anything you put your mind to!’
‘Cause I feel like some of you out there got some things— you got some books to write, you got some songs to sing. You’ve got some inventions to invent! Now you know, I want you to go out there and get started. Make that first step.
And you know what, I believe that it’s so much stuff out there you gon do, I might even stick around ‘til I’m a hundred and something just so I make sure I see it.
Alright, sugars, somebody loves you and somebody’s praying for you. Me! (joyous laughter). Go on out there and have yourself a good day. I believe in ya.
What a wonderful, pure and precious soul this woman must have. Such a sweet lady 💕
in like 5-10 years there’s going to be a wave of rehabilitated former terfs and they’re going to want to be at the front of queer social movements. we can’t let that happen for the same reasons we can’t let former 4chan fascists lead leftist groups, even if they do feel bad about it.
Here’s some advice I wasn’t told from the myriad of posts before that I wish I’d been given before
Wash the OUTSIDE of your pots and pans as well as the cooking surface. I’ve had a few roommates now who have only cleaned the inside and I’ve had to replace a $150 set of cookware twice.
“its only one time, how bad could using metal on nonstick cookware really be?” very bad. don’t do this.
Buy a rice cooker. Buy the middle tier rice cooker. Cheap ones will burn
your rice, high tier ones are too expensive. Rice is good and cheap
and, really, you don’t actually have to wash it if you don’t care about
making gourmet food.
Buy band-aids. You don’t think you need band-ads until you need a band-aid, and by then it’s too late. (if you don’t follow this advice, a paper towel and some tape is an acceptable solution while you go get real bandages and neosporin)
You are on tumblr, which means you probably spend most of your time in one spot on a computer or phone. if this spot doesn’t have a trash can in arm’s reach, put one there.
I spent 4 years piling trash on my desk in increasingly precarious ways until I had a designated area to put it. Trash cans can and should go anywhere there is a frequent generation of trash, typical locations be damned.
If you live with one or two roommates, discuss placing empty boxes in the back of your fridge and freezer. You probably don’t need all the space that the standard 5-person-family fridge provides, and tupperware will be shoved back there and left to stink up the entire appliance.
Get a wall calendar, put it somewhere communal, and have everyone put their household-relevant schedules on it. Communication is by far the weakest link with roommates (even good ones!) and having something to reference for appointments is always good
Hey this post is pretty good but please always wash your rice. It’s not to make it taste better, it’s to remove aflatoxin, which is created by a very widespread type of fungus and as such is present on most unwashed produce. Chronic exposure to aflatoxin leads to higher risk of liver and gallbladder cancer. I don’t blame anyone for not knowing this, as I didn’t until I started taking classes about cancer for my microbiology degree. Please always wash all of your produce and especially your rice, as it has a much higher surface area to volume ratio meaning that it can have a lot more aflatoxin on it than other produce if you don’t wash it.
every episode im like “no way i could love guillermo more” and then every episode im WRONG. he’s the sweetest man alive. he is evil. he is honest. he is a manipulator. he’s in love with is boss. his boss is an idiot. he’s a serial killer. he’s a cinnmon roll. he wants to be a vampire. he has a vampire body count of at least 40. he’s queer. literally the best character ever written.
Have not cannot and will not forgive James Fitzjames The Terror for making me - firstmost, a punk, secondarily, a clumsy bitch with no coordination who spills every drink I am handed, and third, really warm all the time - genuinely yearn for a cream knit sweater
A good friend had recommended and post this link to my dashboard before. Ever since it has been the best adaptation to me personally (although! I have to say JB’s performance rings very true to my adhd ass lol. That’s why on the term of my fav performance he and Merrison have the same place, at least in my heart) I describe this as my fav mainly bc of the writings are so very very good:
1. It sticks to canon as much as possible but
2. It added the depth the time of era couldn’t have possibly come up. (like the sympathetic backstories in The Dying Detective to that villain)
The medical journal The Lancet is trying to include trans men in their coverage by referring to “bodies with vaginas”. The intention may be good, but….
I can understand the arguments made by the good people of the medical journal The Lancet when they decided to use the term “bodies with vaginas” when referring to the physiology of cis women and trans men.
But if the purpose is to include trans men, using the term trans men works well, as does – as Joss Prior points out – the phrase “assigned female at birth”.
Referring to cis women and trans men as “bodies with vaginas” is alienating. This was not the writer’s intention, I am sure, but the phrase will remind many of the way sexists and misogynists have reduced cis women’s and trans men’s bodies to “bodies with vaginas”.
You know, all this bullshit and fallout about semantics and using the wrong words could be avoided if they just use the language that Trans & Queer culture uses.
What is wrong with ‘afab’…??
Ok but assuming that all trans men have vaginas and/or uteruses is also shitty and wrong. Lots of trans men have undergone bottom surgery And no longer fall under “people with vaginas/uteruses” and as such shouldn’t be considered.
This isn’t an AFAB specific problem, it’s a menstruation specific problem. Many trans men and even cis women don’t menstruate whether that’s due to hysterectomy, vaginectomy, endometrial ablation.
You want to say “associating trans men with vaginas is reductive” but still making the implication that Every AFAB Person must currently have a body that menstruates or is even capable of menstruation or even HAS the specific organs to even make this a possibility.
If were talking about medical negligence anyway, why are we leaving trans women/fems out? If it’s not menstruation specific (ignoring that trans women/fems on E Can get period cycles but don’t menstruate), then why leave them out and claim that this is an AFAB specific phenomenon?
AFAB =\= Has A Vagina. This is super alienating to a lot of trans people and Literally Incompatible with their bodies. This should also be accounted for
I actually prefer being called a person with a vagina than afab because of the reasons above and because it doesn’t associate your body with any gender. I don’t like the term afab except in very select settings because there’s too much emphasis on the pre transition gender. I will say that the use of “bodies” to describe marginalised people has it’s issues but in a medical context where the emphasis is on the body itself it doesn’t feel as objectifying as afab does and it makes sense to use it. ALSO trans women have vaginas as well so afab doesnt even cover what they’re trying to describe!!! Bottom surgery exists and it’s so bizarre thats its ignored in this manner
I honestly feel that being specific about the purpose when possible rather than referring to the body part or the gender (with some implicit assumption) is probably the solution here. If your aim is to speak about menstruation, ‘people who menstruate’ is probably the terminology you want. If you want to speak about pregnancy, ‘pregnant people’ or ‘people who can get pregnant’ (depending on the case) are probably the terms you want to use. If your request specifically relates to vaginas, e.g. a health leaflet about vaginal yeast infection, then yeah, 'people with vaginas’ is probably what you want.
Trying to be specific in this way where possible means you do not reduce a people to having vaginas/penises unless the concern is about their genitalia specifically. When 'people with vaginas/penises’ is used as a catch all, imo, asides from just clunky wording, it can feel pretty dehumanising, if not dysphoria inducing for some. As discussed above, AGAB language isn’t much better and makes assumptions about what bodies look like and are capable of based on assigned gender. Being specific correctly addresses the issue at hand while recognising that trans people can and do get bottom surgery and that not all health concerns affect people with specific genitalia.
my current favorite post on this website is one I accidentally stumbled across that’s just someone unironically complaining about Fake Evil Bloggers and gatekeeping the literal concept of evil like it’s an indie band they like
“I won’t stand for these morally upstanding POSEURS culturally appropriating villainy from real bad people!”