ALSO. what the fuck is “half-joking.” which half is the joke
also ambiguous sentences on purpose ALSO things that indicate Intent are like. you don’t get to know that! that’s between me and my beetles. figure it out
tone indicators (the /XYZ type) don’t help autistic people unless the autistic person knows a whole entire lexicon of them… if you want to help autistic people understand your words by text online you can just reword your sentences to be clearer. and this is coming from someone who is utterly unable to grasp tone. it costs so little to write “i don’t mean this in a bad way!” or (jokes) etc etc etc. a slash and a letter is not a good tone indicator.
Do we have any evidence that Brutus was part of a mystery religion
Only the most tentative. True, in Pro Blorbo (Blorb. 5.11) Cicero addresses Appius Claudius, who was one of the judges, and mentions “your son in law” to prove by his example that neither the old (like Blorbus) nor the young (like that son in law) can currently be safe from slanderous accusations. Appius Claudius had two known daughters, one of whom around that time married Marcus Brutus (the second one married Cn. Pompeius the younger).
One of the misdeeds which Blorbus commited, according to the prosecution, was holding the rites of the mystery cult of Mesperyian in his house. This has led some to suggest that M. Brutus (or Cn. Pompeius the younger) was involved in the same mystery cult. It is worth noting that Appius Claudius himself acquired the reputation of a necromancer (see David Ogden, Greek and Roman Necromancy).
However, it is not clear which exact accusation against Titus Blorbus Cicero implies “Appius’ son in law” has also been subjected to: whether it was participation in a dubious cult, accepting bribes from Eastern monarchs, or involvement in a conspiracy. If the “son in law” was indeed Brutus, then Cicero could have been alluding to the Vettius affair (a supposed conspiracy against Pompey, in which Brutus was involved) that took place a few years earlier. The latter version is the one I’m personally inclined towards (especially because mentions of Vettius affair are otherwise scarce).
Apart from that, Cicero mentions Brutus in the surviving fragment of his letter to Blorbus (circa 54 bce), if the “stupidly handsome” man he speaks of is indeed a pun on Brutus’ name, as most commentators seem to acknowledge. This suggests another link between Blorbus and Brutus, but again, not necessarily mysterial.
it is kinda funny that for the entirety of undergrad my supervisor just assumed i know about stoicism. stoic cosmology specifically. in detail. like they still doesn’t know that i do NOT i just really like cato the younger
you literally cannot escape the river scamander :/
‘Homer’s conception of Troy’s day of doom gains a certain celebrity and reusability,8 and reference to a single, critical, and often fatal day becomes common in several genres of Greek and Latin literature.9 Even in its fragmentary state, Ennius’ Annales attests that an interest in the great significance of a single day is present from the outset of the Latin epic tradition. In Book 8 he writes that “one day does many things in war” (multa dies in bello conficit unus, Ann. 258);10 and in Book 14 a commander addresses his troops with the words, “Now is that day when the greatest glory shows itself to us, whether we live or die” (nunc est ille dies quom gloria maxima sese / nobis ostentat, si uiuimus siue morimur, Ann. 382–3)”
Joseph, Timothy A. “Pharsalia as Rome’s “Day of Doom” in Lucan.“ American Journal of Philology, vol. 138 no. 1, 2017, p. 107-141.
HIIIIII this is so sexy
‘And, while Lucan does detail the final days of many individual warriors, he frequently emphasizes their insignificance in the face of the greater, sweeping, collective day of doom. At the climax of the bloodletting in Book 7 Lucan will declare: “No death is worthy of its own lament, and we have the room to mourn no individual men” (7.630–1: mors nulla querella / digna sua est, nullosque hominum lugere uacamus.).16 In this story about the death of the Republic at the hands of Caesar and the “line of Caesar’s house” (Caesareaeque domus series, 4.823), Rome dies a collective death. All other individual Roman names give way to one name, Caesar.’
Colleen McCullough What Did You Intend By Writing This
@garland-on-thy-brow said: Cassius: Being a princeps (senatus) used to be cool before Octavian made it cringe
in reference to this bit of divine comedy [inferno 34.61-67] commentary from Guido da Pisa (1327-28[?]) I was posting about
[…] videlicet de Iuda, qui prodidit Christum, filium Dei vivi, de quo actum est supra, et de duobus principibus romanis, Bruto scilicet et Cassio, qui Iulium Cesarem prodiderunt.
I'm confused, how did brothers tumblrinus and blorbus change from monks to senators? also what order are they part of?
metempsychosis is real in the blorbus extended universe so the senators got like. reincarnated. as monks. but alas i only know palaeography and not anything about the religious aspect of. monasteries. i do not understand what an order is. @hardoncaulfield fellow blorbus scholar do you have any Thoughts on this
🎵missing pieces of my skull, i’ll sew on patches of my own soul🎶
palamedes sextus, my beloved! this piece has been in my head for months, and it took so many tries to get it how i wanted. maybe someday it’ll get properly painted up, but for now here’s a bit of my favorite librarian, sex pal.
[image description: a digital illustration of palamedes from the locked tomb series, drawn from the shoulders up. half of his face is drawn as a skull in the process of exploding. he has the roman numeral for 6 written on his forehead and a peaceful smile on his face.]
every reader really does create a new text at the charles martindale voice point of reception or whatever. by which i mean i can’t wait to experience the absolute chaos of every speaker at blorbuscon inventing a different version of the blorbiad
CFP: Blorban and Tumblrensian Studies in the Twenty-First Century
We are now accepting abstracts for the conference “Blorban and Tumblrinian Studies in the Twenty-First Century”, to be hosted by the Tumblr University Faculty of Classics and held remotely on January 23, 2022.
The current decade has seen a surge of interest in Titus Blorbus Plinkonensis and his late Republican milieu. This was driven both by archaeological discoveries (the Blorgus inscription and the alleged Villa of the Blorbi at Spectaculi Mei) and by the application of queer theory to the Blorbiad and the epigrams of Aemilia Tumblrinilla. We welcome both historical and literary papers relating to Blorbus, other members of the gens Blorba, Quintus Aemilius Tumblrinus, and Aemilia Tumblrinilla, as well as the texts attributed to them.
Please send abstracts of no more than 100 words to tumblr user nathanielthecurious.
The question of whether this is real or a joke depends mostly on whether people actually send me enough abstracts. I have received 1 abstract so far.
BTSTC 2022 FAQ
Is this happening?
I have received 4 abstracts so far, so I guess it is. We will hang out on a zoom meeting (for which I will send out a link and password closer to the date), people will give talks, hopefully it’ll be fun and funny. I am going insane and this is the silliest thing I’ve done in ages and I don’t know why I am spending my time on this.
When are abstracts due?
How long should my paper be?
Let’s say keep it under 15 minutes. Shorter is great too, since I assume everyone is presenting on fictional material and only has 10 days to prepare.
I’m in an inconvenient time zone. What time will it be?
My plan is to start at 10am PST / 1pm EST / 6pm GMT on Saturday in order to be reasonably convenient for American and European time zones. If you are planning to present and that doesn’t work for you, let me know.
Can I submit my cutting-edge research on something related to Blorbus, but not explicitly mentioned in the call for papers?
You can submit whatever you want.
Is my abstract accepted?
Yes. Look out for more information in your tumblr messages next week.
Please see the attached booklet for the draft schedule, abstracts, and zoom link!
for by my glee might many men have laughed and of my weeping something had been left which must die now…… i mean the truth untold the pity of war the pity war distilled…… none will break ranks though nations trek from progress…… courage was mine and i had mystery wisdom was mine and i had mastery…… to miss the march of this retreating world into vain citadels that are not walled……
Okay no one on Tumblr that I’ve seen has been talking about the wine and cheese thing, but that means no one is reflecting on the absolute weapons-grade hilarity of Boris Johnson trying to inchworm his way out of trouble by claiming that he didn’t know about it
Like… that wine and cheese party was the Downing Street works Christmas do. Not just any old social, the Christmas social. There were invitations. There was music. Every single worker in Downing Street was invited, even Debbie from accounts. People who didn’t work there but were important to the government got invited.
And Boris is therefore claiming that all his mates got together and had a party and DIDN’T INVITE HIM.
Not only that, but they deliberately kept it a secret from him, because no one wanted him there to ruin the party because no one likes him, and I just…
The key difference between Johnson and Trump always came down to this: Johnson wants to be liked. He genuinely does. Trump wanted to be respected and feared and obeyed, he wanted to be seen as powerful and suave and cool. But he didn’t care about how liked he was. Johnson, though, really fucking does. He’s a deeply pathetic little twat, and he wants people to like him.
So, his choices currently are
- Tell everyone in the country that his own friends and coworkers actually cannot stand him, to the point that they arranged an entire Christmas party without him
- Admit that he was there and immediately be hated by literally every single human being in the country, including his own voters (hello North Shropshire), because while the rest of us spent Christmas 2020 in a lockdown and unable to see each other and in many cases literally alone, him and his mates held an illegal Christmas party that the police are refusing to investigate
His popularity is now nosediving in the polls, and it really cannot be stated how much that will be burning him.
Also, pro-Brexit Tories are even pissed off with him now. Which is a bit like someone buying a cake called a pus cake with pictures of pus all over the box and a warning sign that says This Cake Contains Pus and Other Bodily Fluids, and then crying because when they tried to eat the pus cake they found it was filled with pus. But also really funny.
Anyway, I’m placing the bet now: we will see a vote of no confidence, OR he’ll jump before he has to experience that (because it would kill him), and our next PM will be Rishi Sunak
And don’t forget
THEY HAD THIS PARTY IN THE HOUSE HE LIVES IN!
He’s trying to claim that all his friends and colleagues hosted a party IN THE HOUSE HE LIVES IN while he was upstairs apparently totally oblivious!
He really thinks we’re that stupid to believe that a party could be happening literally TWO FLOORS BELOW him and he not know?
Omg omg I forgot that part and you are so right
They had a secret Christmas party that was so big that they were sending out invites to non government members which they didn’t want him at, so they… what, had his mistress drug him with hefty amounts of antihistamines? He went out for the evening (also illegal at the time) and they partied hard on cheese and wine for precisely two hours and 46 minutes, then everyone went silent and snuck out when he came back?
A whole team of cleaners had to tiptoe about for four hours so they wouldn’t wake up the clown upstairs.
What a cover story.
Okay well this story has… Wow.
So, let’s update for those who don’t know. Bear with me, I may get a couple of dates slightly wrong. First, shout out to the incredible investigative journalism and absolutely chessmaster-level shrewdness of Pippa Crerar for both digging up this story and for picking precisely the right moments to release it, morsel by morsel, to bring down Boris Johnson and possibly the whole damn government.
So after Johnson claimed he didn’t know about it, then the Mirror published photos showing he was there and hosted a quiz. So, undeniable, Boris was at the Christmas party.
The Metropolitan Police declare that, even though they are investigating and fining people up to £12,000 a pop for lockdown parties, and doing so is literally their job, they will not investigate the government because “there isn’t enough evidence”. ACAB etc
Then, the Guardian reveals photos of Boris Johnson, his mistress, and Dominic Cummings eating cheese and drinking wine in the sun (with others around them) in the Downing Street garden, not allowed at the time (we were literally not allowed to leave home at the time). That day, Matt Hancock urges people not to have cheese and wine parties in their own gardens in spite of the nice May weather.
Then the Mirror reveals that there was actually another whole ass party - in May 2020, where 30 gathered in the garden of Downing Street (at the time we were not allowed more than 2 households meeting outside). Boris denies that it was a party, and claims it was merely a weirdly well catered work event that included his gin-drinking mistress and baby for some reason.
Then, the invites to the party were leaked by ITV. Turns out, 100 people were invited “to make the most of the lovely weather.” It also told attendees to “bring their own booze.”
Then an inquiry begins, carried out by Sue Gray. She is in fact a member of Number 10 staff, but no idea how independent she’ll actually be one way or the other. Either way, the police are still literally refusing to investigate so lmao that’s what we’ve got. She did get Damien Green fired for that porn thing, though, so that’s encouraging.
Then this week, Johnson goes on Prime Minister’s Questions. He sort of apologises, and claims that he was only there for 25 minutes but implies he then left because it felt more like an illegal social than the work event he was expecting, which is interesting, since his mistress was necking gin next to him the whole time. He should have just asked her, like. She could have clarified.
Then the Times reveals a source at the party who says that no, Boris stayed WAAAYYYY longer and spent his time wandering around and ‘gladhanding’ people (side note, posh people have weird words).
Then yesterday, even though we now have evidence and a confession of criminality, the Met Police announce that they will not investigate unless/until the Gray Inquiry finds evidence of criminality, which is just…an astonishingly open display of corruption, really. A real quiet-part-loud moment.
THEN, within hours, it’s revealed that there were ANOTHER TWO PARTIES, except… Okay you’re going to want to sit down, because shit hit the fan yesterday.
These two parties happened on the day of Prince Philip’s funeral last year, aka Put Philip In The Floor Day. At the time, restrictions meant just 30 people could attend that funeral.
Which means, the Telegraph ran this headline and image:
I know we all hate the royals on Tumblr, but you have to understand just how hard that headline, and that image, and that message, hits British society. The Queen, beloved monarch, “forced to grieve alone” while the government danced and drank the night away. You cannot imagine how much power that image holds. You cannot begin to imagine the social power of it.
Boris Johnson can. He was polling only one point above Theresa May’s all time low within the hour. That is a devastating popularity drop for the man who needs to be loved, who came to power on a cult of personality.
So, he went on PMQs again, to apologise to Lizzie Two. It’s a really funny apology because he kind of can’t apologise without admitting it and there’s an enquiry going on so it’s real vague, but he does cop to the parties on Put Philip In The Floor Day. Keir Starmer, in a rare display of actually providing some opposition, put the boot in quite nicely:
Well, there we have it. After months of deceit and deception, the pathetic spectacle of a man who’s run out of road.
His defence, that he didn’t realise he was at a party, is so ridiculous that it’s actually offensive to the British public.
He’s finally been forced to admit what everyone knew that when the whole country was locked down, he was hosting boozy parties in Downing Street.
Is he now going to do but decent thing and resign?
Which brings us to today! How is the Prime Minister coping with the situation?
Well, according to a leak from the Independent, he literally spent today working out which senior officials he can force to resign and take the blame in order to save himself in a move that he, a grown man who has fathered six or possibly seven children who is Prime Minister of the country, is without irony calling, and I am not making this up…
Operation Save Big Dog.
Big Dog is him. He is Big Dog. He has called himself Big Dog. He chose to call himself Big Dog.
Except, the Independent leaked it, as I say, so now he looks EVEN WORSE.
The Mirror’s front page for tomorrow is revealed.
They have a photo of a wine fridge (capable of holding up to 34 bottles of wine) being delivered to Number 10.
Because, they reveal, these parties were not special events only.
Downing Street has been holding what they called Wine Time Fridays every week during the pandemic. They used to hold them before as well; but apparently, they’ve been particularly popular during lockdown.
Current polling as of 14th January 2022:
Those figures would translate to the Tories losing over 126 seats. Labour’s largest lead since Tony Blair.
Side note to finish off for now:
Interesting how we now know a good 100 people who was at those parties, complete with photos, and yet Rishi Sunak is not in any of them. One might almost call it suspicious. And wonder at who the main source is.
HOO BOY THE CIRCUS IS IN TOWN THIS WEEK LADS
I will try to keep this concise, and I will put in a Read More because fuck this is like… metres of political intrigue. Although first, quick housekeeping because I’m fed up of seeing some stuff turning up in the notes:
- Americans stop being smug in the notes challenge. Just enjoy the clowns quietly.
- It is not misogynistic to refer to Carrie Johnson as Big Dog’s mistress, you tedious voles, that’s literally what she was when he cheated on his cancer-suffering wife with her. He also dumped his wife, mid-chemotherapy, to shack up with Carrie Antoinette over there. I do not give the tiniest iota of shit that they are now married, and given that the UK press has spent two years trying to make their relationship into a fairytale princess situation, I will continue to brand her his mistress until the inevitable day he cheats on her with yet another younger model and fathers his eighth or ninth child (not an inaccurate number, this man has Disputed Children with other mistresses he refuses to take a paternity test for)
- EXERCISE A MODICUM OF CRITICAL THINKING AND STOP ACCUSING ME OF THINKING RISHI SUNAK IS A GOOD ALTERNATIVE. I HAVE NOT SAID ANYWHERE THAT HE IS. ONLY THAT HE’S GUNNING FOR IT.
With that out of the way, it’s the 20th January 2022, let’s watch the elephant stand on a ball!
Earlier This Week
Let’s check the polls, after the fun of last week!
70% think he’s lying about the May 20th party, 63% think he should resign, 80% think he has not been honest, and 81% think the ‘work event’ that Big Dog described was unacceptable anyway.
But, how does that translate to politics? Well! The Police and Crime Bill is a monstrous piece of fascist legislation that the Tories are currently trying to get passed. This week it passed to the House of Lords. This would normally have been a very straightforward run through to the Queen to sign off, but LOL SOME PEOPLE ARE VERY BITTER ABOUT THE CHEESE AND WINE because instead the Lords have literally thrown out three of the worst elements.
Yes, you read that right. That Bill we’ve all been terrified about?
The Lords have rejected:
- Allowing stop and search at protests without suspicion
- Banning people with a “history of serious disruption” from attending protests
- Making it an offence to disrupt the operation of key national infrastructure, like an airport or a newspaper printer
And then, just to rub salt in the wound, they approved two non-Tory amendments, including making misogyny a hate crime. In practice, those two amendments will now go back to the Commons to be debated more, but those three central pillars up there are just gone now. The Lords described the proposals as “draconian”, “a wider assault on our democracy”, and “reminiscent of Cold War Eastern Bloc police states”.
Never thought I’d see the day…
So, Boris the Big Dog realises he’s in serious trouble now, because that means that even MPs who supported him now hate him because his actions are costing them the fascist laws they wanted to put in place. So he has a meeting with the one Tory you can absolutely count on to blindly and incompetently support Boris Johnson regardless of literally anything he ever does - enter, Nadine Dorres.
She suggests a zippy new ploy. he needs to shore up support from the backbenchers if he’s to survive it, so she suggests he give them everything they’ve been asking for like a gift wrapped Christmas gift of shit, and they call it Operation Red Meat, because neither of them is bright enough to consider not naming their illicit backroom plans to let them go undetected, and also, they learned nothing at all from Operation Save Big Dog. Here’s the problem: Tory backbenchers are fucking lunatics. Like, this is your mad Tory uncle who thought the highlight of 2021 was that we put a picture of a crown on beer glasses again TAKE THAT EUROPE. So what bones did Big Dog throw these people?
- Threatening to cut the BBC license fee, costing them billions
- Also ending all covid restrictions
- Asking the military to protect against asylum seekers crossing the channel so they have to go to Rwanda and Ghana for processing instead
Except cutting the BBC alienates a chunk of the core Tory votership, which is old people.
(Remember Ghana, it’s going to be relevant in a sec)
And, it turns out, while the BBC has been very effectively muzzled by the Tories, if you then try to take away their funding anyway… they just might remember they have teeth after all.
THE CIRCUS CONTINUES, let’s see some acrobats!