“why does that character have to be queer?”
“why does that character have to be trans?”
“why does that character have to be a poc?”
this post is making straight cis white ppl angry keep reblogging it
Another good response along with “Why not?” - “As opposed to?”
Just watch them try not to say ‘normal’, JUST WATCH THEM.
Oh my God yes
I respect poetry so much because it does what I cannot do - say so much with so little.
When I have something Much to say, it takes me just as many words to say it. I say it with words that are each of them bland and common, unimaginative by their lonesome, with the hopes that if I stack so many together and squeeze a single drop of Much from each that it might flow into something meaningful.
When I have something to say, I say it twice. I say it three times. Because the first or second may not have captured the point. Because I do not trust myself to express the full essence saying it just once. Like just now, those last two sentences. I’ll repeat myself a third time for good measure - because I do not say it right just once or twice.
Poems say things in only a half, only a quarter. They choose single words worth more than ten of mine. I want to know how their minds shop for words. I want to distill myself like poets do. I want to trade in all my too many common words for the way they use an extraordinary few.
If I keep writing this, I’ll write it forever. I’ll explain myself again, as I have already, as I’m doing now. With more and different other words, with the hope of saying myself fully, like how all the hatched and messy wanton scribbles from a pen might finally color in a page. I want to change that. I want to not rip the page I’ve oversaturated by the tip of my pen.
I’ll start tomorrow, maybe, to explain myself less.
[image ID: a screenshot of the original post, with all of the words blocked out except “I want to distill myself like poets do.” end ID].
consider: teenagers aren’t apathetic about everything they’re just used to you shitting all over whatever they show excitement about
Teen: *gets a job*
“I GOT THE JOB!”
Parents: Well, when I was your age, I already had 5 jobs and was supporting my family
Teen: *gets all A’s*
“I worked really hard!”
Parents: Well, of course you did, this is the expectation, not a celebration.
probably why so many teens take to social media where they can enthusiastically share their interests and achievements and get positive feedback that their parents never gave
A LITTLE LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK
This hit hard
I remember once, when I was in my early 20s, I was an afternoon supervisor at my job, and I worked with mostly teenagers, and the one day this one kid, who was like 15, was bored so I suggested he could clean out the fridge. He did and when he was done I said he did a good job.
After that, this kid was cleaning out the fridge at least once a week, and I was like, “why are you always cleaning the fridge?” Like, I didn’t mind, but it seemed odd. And he said, “one time I cleaned the fridge and you said I did a good job. I wanted to make you proud of me again.”
Literally, I changed the entire way I interacted with teenagers after that. I actually got a package of glitter stars and I would stick them on their nametags when they did a good job, and they loved it.
My manager had commented on how hard these kids work and I said, “they’re starved for positive feedback. They go to school all day then come to work all evening and no one appreciates it because it’s expected of them, but they’re still kids. They need positive feedback from adults in their lives.”
Like, everyone likes feeling appreciated. Everyone likes being complimented and having their efforts be noticed. Another coworker (who was a mother of teenage children), hated that I did this, and said they were too old to be rewarded with stickers, but like… it wasn’t about the stickers. The stickers were just a symbol that their effort was noticed and appreciated. I was just lucky that I learned this at a time when I was still young enough to remember what it was like to be a teenager. I was only 2 years out of highschool at that point and highschool is fucking hard. People forget this as they get older, but ask anyone and almost no one would ever want to go back and do it again, but they expect kids to suck it up because they’re young so they should be able to do school full time, plus homework, and work, and maintain a healthy social life, and sleep, and spend time with family, and do chores and help out at home, and worry about college and relationships and everything else, and then just get shit on all the time and treated like they’re lazy and entitled. And then they wonder why teenagers are apathetic.
For a german exam I had to argue against an article that was essentially „kids these days, they don’t care about anything and are constantly on their phones“ and really it was the easiest essay I‘ve ever written.
Teens don’t talk to adults bc adults only ask „so, how‘s school“ to then interrupt them two sentences in. And because they can’t engage in a conversation about buying houses and working in a bank. I would’ve loved to talk about philosophy and politics and history with family the way I did with friends and in class but because I was young no one took what I had to say seriously.
And no, teens aren’t always on their phone. They’re on their phone when they’re bored. You think I‘m on social media when I‘m with my friends? When I‘m talking about something I‘m interested in?
Maybe the reason kids are so distant and always on their phone during family parties and the like is because you‘re failing to engage and include them.
Whoop there it is
When you respect kids, they really respond and learn from you. But if you treat kids like “theyre just a kid, what do they know??” then you’ll never find out.
As a Disneyland Cast Member, I’ll add my own experience onto this –
Very frequently, when I first speak to a child while I’m at work, they’ll kind of withdraw and act uncomfortable and shy. Their parents will then rather frequently tell them to not be shy and try to coax them to talk to me – whenever that happens, I always, without fail, politely dissuade the parents from pressuring them.
“I’m a stranger,” I’ll tell the kid’s parents. “I don’t blame them for not talking to me – if they were anywhere else, they’d have the right idea, to not immediately trust me.”
I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen that same kid – simply after hearing their initial reaction being validated, instead of reproached – immediately open up to me after that. I also cannot tell you how many times that child and I would go on to start a friggin’ marathon conversation, and I got to hear all about how great their day was or what their favorite Disney movies were or what rides they liked and didn’t like or how much they like a certain Disney character or song…all from me validating that initial feeling and showing genuine interest in what they had to say.
This isn’t just young children, either. I will always remember being positioned outside the Animation Academy one day and starting up a conversation with a young lady, perhaps 12 or 13, who joined the line with her father a full 25 minutes before the class was supposed to start. Now keep in mind, we do a drawing class every 30 minutes: there was no one else in line at that point, and no one else joined the girl and her father in line for a full fifteen minutes. So I could tell pretty quickly that this girl was very emotionally invested in getting a good spot for the drawing class: a conclusion all the more bolstered by the fact that she had a notebook under her arm. I asked her if she was an artist – she said yes, but seemed uncomfortable at the question, so I skipped even asking her if I could see her work, instead admitting that I myself wasn’t very good at art, but that I’m trying to get better and that I love the history of Disney animation. On the screens around us was video footage of different Disney concept art and animation reels, so I pointed one of them out (for Snow White) and asked if she knew the story behind the making of the movie. Upon confirming that she didn’t, I proceeded to get down on the floor so I could sit next to her and her father and dramatically tell the whole story of how “Uncle Walt” created the first full-length animated motion picture, even though everyone and their mother thought he was an idiot for even trying, and how the film ended up becoming the first Hollywood blockbuster. After the story was over, the girl’s father said that his daughter really wanted to be an animator when she grew up, and she finally felt comfortable enough to open her notebook and show me some of her artwork. It was wonderful! Every sketch had such character and you could tell how much work she put into it! And I could tell how much telling her that – and sharing that moment with her, where we got to connect over something we both really enjoyed – had meant. And after the class was over, she sought me out to show me what she and her father had drawn – and sure enough, hers was great! (Her father’s was too, really. XD)
People, kids and teens included, love sharing what they love and how they feel with others. You just have to give them the chance to show it.
A LITTLE LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!
I feel like I am obliged to add one more thing: don’t ever think that the kids won’t feel your unspoken judgements cause they do!
I felt always like a ‘problem’ in my family, until I was about sixteen, I got this teacher who was litterally the first to tell I was worthy. He changed my life up till this day.
Also how do grown ups imagine how ‘we’ will ever learn to engage in conversations with adults properly if you don’t teach us?
This post is
I told one of my new coworkers (who is 26) that he was doing really well and that I was proud of him and his progress. I thought he was going to start crying for how quietly he said “really?”.
Positive feedback makes the biggest difference to everything.
i’m extremely lucky that i’ve always gotten positive feedback and proper attention + engagement from my parents.
i can count on one hand the times i’ve gotten it from anyone else.
teenagers are so attached to their phones at school because it’s one of the only things we have all day that makes us feel vaguely alright
Zare why would you hide this nugget of glorious truth in the tags this is literally everything I want to say but couldn’t figure out words for it
You know what fantasy writing needs? Working class wizards.
- A crew of enchanters maintaining the perpetual flames that run the turbines that generate electricity, covered in ash and grime and stinking of hot chilies and rare mushrooms used for the enchantments
- A wizard specializing in construction, casting feather fall on every worker, and enchanting every hammer to drive nails in straight, animating the living clay that makes up the core of the crane
- An elderly wizard and her apprentice who transmute fragile broken objects. From furniture, to rotten wood beams, to delicate jewelry
- A battle magician, trained with only a few rudimentary spells to solve a shortage of trained wizards on the front who uses his healing spells to help folks around town
- Wizarding shops where cheery little mages enchant wooden blocks to be hammered into the sides of homes. Hammer this into the attic and it will scare off termites, toss this in the fire and clean your chimney, throw this in the air and all dust in the room gets sucked up
- Wizard loggers who transmute cut trees into solid, square beams, reducing waste, and casting spells to speed up regrowth. The forest, they know, will not be too harsh on them if the lost tree’s children may grow in its place
- Wizard farmers who grow their crops in arcane sigils to increase yield, or produce healthier fruit
- Factory wizards who control a dozen little constructs that keep machines cleaned and operational, who cast armor to protect the hands of workers, and who, when the factory strikes for better wages, freeze the machines in place to ensure their bosses can’t bring anyone new in.
Anyway, think about it.
It’s sad how much of what is taught in school is useless to over 99% of the population.
There are literally math concepts taught in high school and middle school that are only used in extremely specialized fields or that are even so outdated they aren’t used anymore!
I took calculus my senior year of high school, and I really liked the way our teacher framed this on the first day of class.
He asked somebody to raise their hand and ask him when we would use calculus in our everyday life. So one student rose their hand and asked, “When are we going to use this in our everyday life?”
“NEVER!!” the teacher exclaimed. “You will never use calculus in your normal, everyday life. In fact, very few of you will use it in your professional careers either.” Then he paused. “So would you like to know why should care?”
Several us nodded.
He picked out one of the varsity football players in the class. “You practice football a lot during the week, right Tim?” asked the teacher.
“Yeah,” replied Tim. “Almost every day.”
“Do you and your teammates ever lift weights during practice?”
“Yeah. Tuesdays and Thursdays we spend a lot of practice in the weight room.”
“But why?” asked the teacher. “Is there ever going to be a play your coach tells you use during a game that requires you to bench press the other team?”
“No, of course not.”
“Then why lift weights?”
“Because it makes us stronger,” said Tim.
“Bingo!!” said the teacher. “It’s the same thing with calculus. You’re not here because you’re going to use calculus in your everyday life. You’re here because calculus is weightlifting for your brain.”
And I’ve never forgotten that.
When it’s taught right, learning math teaches you logic and how to organize your brain, how to take a problem one step at a time and make sure every step can bear weight before you move to the next one. Most adults don’t need to know integrals, but goddamn if I don’t wish everyone making arguments on the internet understood geometric proofs.
Scientific concepts broaden our understanding of how the world is put together, which does not mean that most adults ever really understand how light is refracted through a lens or why spinning copper wire creates electricity–and they don’t need to. But science classes in general are meant to teach the scientific method: how to make observations and use them to draw conclusions, how to test those conclusions, how to be wrong and grow stronger from it.
History isn’t about dates and names of battles, it’s about people, patterns, things we’ve tried before and ought to learn from. It’s about how everything is linked, how changing one circumstance can lead to changes in fifty others, cascading infinitely. Literature is about critical thinking, pattern recognition, learning to listen to what somebody is saying and decide what it means to you, how you feel about it, and what you want to do with it.
Some facts matter: every adult should know how to read a graph, how global warming works, some of the basic themes and symbols that crop up in every piece of fiction. But ultimately, content is less important later in life than context.
The good thing is, students who learn the content are likely to pick up at least some of the context, some of the patterns of thinking, even if they don’t realize it. (The unfortunate thing is how the current educational system prioritizes content so much that a lot of students, and a lot of adults, don’t see the point in learning either, and teachers are overworked and held to standardize test grading scales such that it’s hard for them to emphasize patterns of thinking over rote memorization, etc etc etc, but that is a whole different discussion.)
thank u <3
The French School System
The School system in France is divided into 4 “subsections” depending on the age. Since 2018, school is compulsory from ages 3 to 16 (previously, it was ages 6 to 16). People in the same batch are mostly born in the same calendar year (e.g. between January and December 2001). The school year lasts from the beginning of September to roughly the end of June - beginning of July depending on the grade.
✔ Maternelle (Preschool/Kindergarten in the US, Nursery/Year 1 in the UK): 3 to 6 year olds, divided in three levels (petite section, moyenne section, grande section). Some schools welcome children one year earlier, in “toute petite section”. If there aren’t enough children of the same level to form a class, a teacher might take care of a mix of two different levels (this is called a “double niveau”, and can also apply to primary school, see below).
- The main objective of maternelle is to prepare children for primary school, by finalising the language acquisition, getting the children used to being around peers, and starting to learn how to read, write and count.
- Each homeroom/form class is taught by one teacher, who is generally referred to as “Maître/Maîtresse”; the children use the informal you, tu, when speaking to them.
✔ Ecole élémentaire, more commonly called école Primaire (Primary school - 1st-5th grades in the US, Years 2-6 in the UK): 6 to 11 year olds, divided into five levels (CP, CE1, CE2, CM1, CM2). Here, the students learn how to read, write, do maths, and also start studying other topics like History-Geography, Science, Art, Music…
- Classes are taught by one teacher, commonly called the maître/maîtresse d'école, except for Art, Music and Physical Education; each school generally has one teacher for each of the latter. The teachers are referred to as “Maître/Maîtresse” or “Monsieur/Madame [name]”, and the students start to use the formal you, vous, around CE2 at the latest.
- A typical day in Paris: School starts at 8:30am Mon-Fri, ends at 4:30pm Monday/Thursday, 3pm Tuesday/Friday and 11:30am on Wednesdays. The lunch break lasts from 11:30am-1:30pm, and there are two 15-minute breaks (récréations) in the day, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. After school, students can stay for activities if their school has some (study, rollerblade, theatre…). They go home at the latest at 6pm. Some students may also have activities outside of school (sports, musical instruments…) which can last until later, or be held on Wednesday afternoons.
I know I’ve said this before but vampires
- don’t show up on camera
- can fly/scale walls
- immune to bullets
- can break into any safe by turning into fog or some bullshit
- could probably hypnotize security guards as needed
therefore I am in dire need of a heist film where a group of vampires band together to steal back their old stuff from museums
Oceans 1100 AD
Very interested in the hardest part of this beign the vampires trying to trick someone into granting them permission to enter the premises earlier in the day
I feel like this has several simple solutions!
- they enter the museum while it’s open to the public (and the Welcome sign is on display). they turn into bats and hide in the rafters until the museum closes. the only hiccup is when the overhead announcement comes on and politely requests all visitors leave for closing. the vampire are forced to flee, but come back the next day with tiny bat-sized earplugs.
- downside: this requires going out in daylight, leading most of the team members to show up in long black victorian formalwear, complete with lacy parasols, which they insist on carrying with them throughout the entire heist (much to the frustration of the team leader, who just wore sunscreen and a raincoat).
- depending on how invitations work, it is possible any random human can invite them in. one of the vampires gets their Ultimate Frisbee buddy Oakley to tag along and invite them in after closing.
- downside: the gang spends the rest of the heist gently mocking the idea of a vampire playing association ultimate frisbee (“so what, you turn into a bat and catch it with your fangs? do they make you crawl up the wall when it gets stuck on a roof? if you turn into a cat to get it down from a tree, do you end up stuck in the tree?”) this ends in a Climactic Twist Ending when Oakley reveals they don’t play ultimate frisbee, just dog park frisbee. In the sense that they met when the vampire transformed into a wolf to gatecrashed a game at the local dog park.
- (Bonus points if Oakley is a werewolf. extra bonus points if this is revealed in a post-credits epilogue where, on the next full moon, the entire gang transforms into creatures of the night and joins Oakley at the park for a frisbee game of Bats vs Wolves)
- Final option: to gain legitimate entry, an invitation is needed from a museum employee. this presents two possibilities:
- the vampires pretend to be incredibly rich eccentric patrons who want a private nighttime tour of the museum. (this is convincing due to the fact they are rich and incredibly eccentric.) the vampires get inside, planning to hypnotize the Curator supervising their tour.
- downside: they immediately discover the Curator has been left immune to hypnosis by years of post-grad exposure to droning history lecturers. the vampires leave their least competent member to distract her while they carry out the heist–in the ensuing 90 minutes, the vampire and the curator accidentally Fall In Love after bonding over their shared fury about british archeological theft.
- (In the sequel they get married and spend their honeymoon robbing the British Museum in order to return sacred objects to the cultures from which they were stolen. this is made more
complicatedcomical by the fact vampires are unable to interact with holy objects. also, they are lesbians.)
- alternatively: the gang simply bribes a security guard into letting them in after closing. the security guard then tags along, offering helpful advice for disabling alarms and transporting antiques. it turns out Security Officer Greer only applied for the job bc they too were planning an Elaborate Acrobatic Burglary, but then their partners quit to join Cirque du Soleil and “I can’t exactly perform a Double Cartwheel Birdie Flying Trapeze Boomerang Special without a partner.”
- downside: the gang becomes too attached to ask Greer to leave. They carry out the heist as intended, but this time pretending to be circus performers to explain their vampire powers. Turning into a cloud of smoke to bypass locks? Magicians never explain a trick. Spider walking across ceilings to bypass alarms? Contortionist. When it comes time to fly from roof to roof, they decide turning into bats would give away their secret, so instead they help Greer, in a sparkling moment of triumph, execute the perfect Double Cartwheel Birdie Flying Trapeze Boomerang Special!
- Greer and the gang escape (by tightrope walking) into the night with all the plunder they can carry. Tearfully, the gang begins to say goodbye (bc they can’t keep up the pretense of being circus performers forever) when Greer casually asks how a bunch of vampire ended up working in a circus.
- (Greer assumed from the beginning they were vampires, because of “how you dress, how you talk, and mostly because none of you showed up on camera back in the CCTV control room. Why did you think it took me so long to let yall in?”)
- I cannot for the lives of me decide which synopsis I like best
(all ideas shared on this blog are public domain, feel free to go nuts. you can find more story ideas like this on my ko-fi)
It never fails to tickle me how Studios could have billions of dollars to work with, yet a random tumblr user still comes up with a story that’s still infinitely more interesting than any story that’s come out in the past 8 years.
I taught my kid that swear words (important note: this does not include derogatory names for groups of people) are just words that can carry a social consequence. When you are a child, this consequence isn’t on you, as much as it is on your parents, who are responsible for you. As such, parents usually just ask their kids not to swear. Instead of that, I told him to ask me before he swore so I could explain the potential social consequences and we could make the decision together. So far, he’s asked a handful of times if he could swear at Trump while we watched the news. I found this perfectly acceptable, so he got to say “Ｆｕｃｋ trump”. Once when he dislocated his knee, he asked to swear - I said yea, he yelled “HOLY SHIT OUCH” and I asked if it made him feel better, he said it did. Once in traffic someone almost hit us and he asked to swear, I said yes - he said “That guy is an ASSHOLE” and I was like, yeah. 100% he was. He’s never asked to swear at a time that I felt was inappropriate. I have 0 regrets about this parenting decision.
This is a win-win and it’s funny
“Most of what you think you know about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is wrong.
This is the model that we all learned in psych 101 is wrong [image of Maslow’s pyramid is shown] where our basic physiological needs are at the bottom of the pyramid and achieving one’s full individual potential is at the apex.
What you may not have known is that Maslow spent 6 weeks with the Blackfoot First Nation in the summer of 1938. He learned about their worldview and the Blackfoot Tipi, appropriated and misrepresented their perspective to establish his own Maslow’s hierarchy, and then didn’t give them credit.
[Image of Maslow’s pyramid and Blackfoot tipi shown, described below]
According to the Blackfoot Tipi, self-actualization is at the bottom of the pyramid. In the middle we have belonging and community actualization, where people take care of each other and help each other with their basic needs. And at the top, we have cultural perpetuity, which is teaching each other how to live in harmony with the land and achieve community actualization through generations.
It makes so much sense, right? Taking care of oneself is not enough. We need to take care of each other and our community.
This is why we need to decolonize psychology.”
If anyone wants to learn more about this I suggest watching the late Narcisse Blood’s interviews on Maslow and the influence of Blackfoot worldviews on his work thru the Blackfoot Digital Library, they’re very in-depth
Eldon Yellowhorn also discusses Maslow and Blackfoot ways of knowing but I forget which interview it’s in
The picture at the start of the next paper shows Maslow at the reserve, btw.
Also this is good if you’re interested in a very short introduction to tipi construction and their use as homes and visual records of important knowledge:
I much prefer the Siksika model to Maslow’s. It places the individual at the base of the tipi, and the existential objective in that model is literally cosmic in scale. A self-actualized individual can better contribute to the community, and a self-actualized community and culture can perpetuate itself through time. The goal is so much larger than the realization of your own self, it’s about being a part of a greater whole and ensuring it lasts into perpetuity.
what’s bizarre about Maslow’s hierarchy being used at all is the fact that we like to ignore the part where we’ve decided that in order to be a person you first need to have basic needs met and then we…decide that water isn’t a human right.
today im thinking about the huge buff bread guy from kikis delivery service. highly underrated guy
Genuinely just a good man. Wife adopts teenage witch that needs a place to stay in the city? Sure. Even though you got a kid on the way? That’s fine. Cat too? Love cats.
My favorite moment with him is when he goes to get some prepped baking sheets and he does this fancy twirl with them in front of Jiji. Like, there’s no other people in the room, he does this to impress a cat.
I don’t think he ever says more than a whole word the entire movie, and I still love him more than most Disney princes based on this one moment alone.
And the part where he wanted to surprise Kiki by making that beautiful elaborate sign OUT OF BREAD to advertise her business and he was all anxious for her to get home and see it
But then when he sees her coming he gets all bashful and runs away 😭
the most underrated thing about the ghibli movies is how deeply they are love stories to working people, to the small folk, to moments of love and kindness. its not just about magic, many movies are about magic and fairytales. Its not only about the people in the stories, but about stories in the people. And they are just loveable.
Wow. The patience, kindness and calm communication skills. Outstanding.
This made me cry. I wish all situations could be handled as perfectly as this
Sometimes things just take time and understanding to negotiate.
Pro-tip to young trans guys:
If a stranger misgenders you, please please please do not ever utter the phrase, “I’m a man.” It sounds very unnatural and immediately sounds overly defensive.
My advice? Just look at the person like they’re an idiot and, in the deepest voice possible, say, “Uh. Alright, then.”
Just act as though they made a huge and obvious mistake, and don’t get flustered. If you’re comfortable with it, handle the situation with humor and say something like, “Man, I know I’ve got a babyface, but I didn’t think it was that bad.”
and if someone doesn’t believe u, say you have a hormonal imbalance + are on meds for it. it’s quick, believable, and most ppl are too uncomfortable discussing health problems with strangers to question it.
This is genius. Especially because I look pretty androgynous rn it’s even believeable
all debates abt the artistic merits of fanfiction fail to recognize the purpose of fic. you don’t write fic to be published or to learn how to construct a narrative although you can use it to develop style. you write it so that your friends will message you “bestie you’re utterly deranged for this one im eating dirt”
Can I watch a great film knowing the actresses in it were terrorized and mistreated the entire time? Can I watch a football game knowing that the players are getting brain injuries right before my eyes? Can I listen to my favorite albums anymore knowing that the singers were all beating their wives in between studio sessions? Can I eat at the new fancy taco place knowing when the building that used to be there got bulldozed eight families got kicked out of their homes so they could be replaced with condos and a chain restaurant? Can I wear the affordable clothes I bought downtown that were probably assembled in a sweatshop with child labor? Can I eat quinoa? Can I eat this burger? Can I drink this bottled water? Can I buy a car and drive to work because I’m sick of taking an hour each way on the subway? Whose bones do I stand on? Whose bones am I standing on right now?
On one hand, it’s a privilege to be able to choose to acknowledge these horrors or not–we’re going to acknowledge that privilege. On the other hand, I once attended a lecture by the explorerer-conservationist Jacques-Yves Cousteau’s daughter and son and they had a lot of opinions about what we could do to help the environment and the ocean and I talked about how in my country, we have to drink bottled water, because it’s a desert and there’s only salt water all around, but we’re contributing to pollution and all of these things…
And she looked at me and told me not to fall into the trap of “activist guilt.” I couldn’t remember the exact words, but, it was the first time I’d heard the term and it took a weight off my shoulders.
We do what we can. It’s so much better than giving up entirely or not doing anything at all because we can’t do it perfectly. It doesn’t benefit anyone in the end if we just sit around feeling guilty about every little thing in life. I’d just joined tumblr back then (haha, so like, eight or nine years ago at this point?), I was being exposed to way more than I’d ever been before (I was previously just into feminism and animal rights/wildlife conservation/environmentalism since I was a kid), and it was weighing on me.
As long as humans are humans and living flawed lives, many consumed by greed, there will not be anything in this world untouched by evil.
I usually avoid stuff that says it was made in China or other cheap looking knockoffs, out of fear of them being made in sweatshops (now, I know even a lot of big brands use those…), it’s exhausting. Then, I read something about how people who actually lived and worked in those would still buy this cheap stuff and how this shocked the foreigner reporting on it, but they just looked confused like, it’s what they can afford and them avoiding consuming it isn’t going to change the whole system from the ground-up.
… it went on about how “money talks” and choosing where to put your money still feeds the whole capitalist system and is nearly a way of comforting yourself, but you not buying doesn’t mean everyone else isn’t. What needs to be tackled is at a much higher level than any of us can reach.
Of course, I’d still, given the choice, give my money to companies I agree with and I’ll boycott what I know to support awful stuff, but I also feel no superiority over this and know now it’s not as black and white or easy as I thought it was.
This is the same reason that moral purity “you can’t enjoy [x] because it’s Problematic ™” is such nonsense, because nothing is pure. There’s something bad about everything if you dig deep enough. As long as we lived in flawed human societies we’ve got to make the best of what they offer us. If you have the choice and means, please, do support those who do good, but also, don’t beat yourself up over not living up to an unattainable ideal.
No one can. You’ll just make yourself so miserable, you either burn up and stop fighting entirely or you’ll make yourself a non-productive, depressed heap just out of a bleeding heart left unchecked. You can’t make a change to this world if you refuse to engage in it.
Purity is one of the worst, most harmful myths humans ever invented.
Rebloging for this amazing reply telling us how to actually handle this, because yeah, sometimes I’ll simply shut down trying to find something that doesn’t cause harm to anyone
I’m always gonna be pissed that amatonormatvity as a term and a model for understanding society was literally mocked into disuse by exclusionists because of its association with aromantic folks.
Amatonormativity, honestly, has approximately fuck-all to do with aros. We did not even coin it, we’re simply the only people who actually take it seriously cause we’re among the ones who are most hurt by it. And it PISSES me the fuck off that it is not a widespread model used in greater queer discussions.
Amatonormativity is what causes romantic relationships to be prioritized above all else. The adults who find themselves slowly losing friends until their only contacts are their coworkers and their own nuclear family? Amatonormativity.
Rebelling against this culture and embracing a non-hierarchical view of relationships is the first step to making genuine connections and improving our collective mental health.
May I also add: Amatonormativity is what causes consensual non-monogamy be treated as inherently abusive, and its the same thing that causes being in an abusive relationship to be seen as better than being single. Amatonormativity is a fundamental part of slut shaming, stigma against sex work and rape culture. Amatonormativity impacts everyone and really should have become a widely discussed and challenged concept but people just hated aspecs so much they were willing to shoot their alleged activism in the foot for it.
Someone replied to one of our recent posts:
“Agree with most of this but would like to point out that a part of the push to make Pride less sexual is to make it a safe space for queer children and to help straights realize being queer isn’t just about fetishes.“
(The person is not tagged because I don’t want to send any hate to them, and the reply isn’t being responded to directly because Tumblr has made that near impossible)
When I came out, my mom told me I couldn’t tell my little sister because it was too sexual.
Later, I moved to the “Big City”, what I hoped to be a haven for queer people. I was with one of the first queer friends my wife and I had made in the city, we had just watched their wrestling debut, and had gone to their apartment afterwards with a group of strangers. Some this group our friend had told us behind the scenes were much more right wing causing our friend to keep parts of their queer identity under wraps.
Our friend suddenly turned to us and began scolding us, telling me and my wife that one of their coworkers at the city Pride Centre had approached them and told them that she had seen me and my wife kiss, and we needed to cut it out with the PDA.
I nodded in front of this group of strangers and when I could no longer hold my tears back I excused myself to the bathroom, cried and waited there until it was no longer obvious I had been crying. We hurried out.
The kiss in question was a goodbye kiss, as my wife went back to campus, and I don’t remember it. I have always been rather shy with PDA and don’t think it could have been much more than a peck. The coworker later told our friend that she was going through a bad breakup and our friend later explained that this was actually the reason for the complaint.
I have never felt safe in queer spaces since. Talking to the same friend later, they asked me and my wife to chaperone the Queer Prom and without thinking I assured them we would make sure not to hold hands or dance while we were there so it would stay “a safe space for children”.
When I was a child, I stumbled into a pride parade and was shocked and upset by the men in gold short shorts. My uncle apologized for letting me see something so sexual and awful.
Every single thing queer people do is “about fetishes” to people who hate queerness. Being less sexual is not going to change that.
I had seen short shorts before. I would see them again, and no one would apologize for that. The thing I was being kept “safe” from was not overly sexual behaviour, and considering there are already laws against indecent exposure, the same is true for children now.
Keeping theoretical children safe has been the justification for the continuing genocide against queer people all around the globe, so this rhetoric is not harmless. It has been used to put queer people in labour camps and slaughter them.
I have nothing to prove to “straights” and I was the “queer child” who was horrified by the pride parades. As an adult, the discomfort I felt at seeing queer people existing happily and authentically in short shorts, is not something I needed to be kept safe from.
This nonsense is nothing more or less than the same moral panic that has killed queer people throughout history.
There are spaces and events just for queer minors. Pride isn’t one of them. Pride also isn’t an event that is not safe for children. It just is not designed for them. If kids want to come to Pride they can. If their parents don’t approve it will not be because it’s too sexualized. Being over sexualized has never actually been anyone’s problem with queer people. Nothing about queer identity or community or events is more sexual than heteronormative society. The problem isn’t that we’re too sexualized. It’s that we are being queer in public. The same things are fine when straight people do them. Pride parades are no more sexual than a day at the beach. They’re not more sexual, they’re less straight, and that’s what people are objecting to. Wanting to make Pride less sexual is just internalized homophobia.
I think this is a great point as well, I remember someone telling me “you can’t have a safe space and be open to all”, and I don’t think Pride is a safe space for everyone, or should be. Pride is something that should make certain people uncomfortable, discomfort isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes discomfort just means growth is happening beneath the skin.
I will never forget the time a coworker reported me to HR for being “inappropriate and sexual in the workplace” because I said my then-girlfriend and I had gone grocery shopping over the weekend.
My extended family has demanded that I not talk about my wife in front of my teenage cousin because they don’t want her being exposed to “deviant behavior.”
Experiences like that have been eye-opening. They’ve made me realize that a lot of people don’t see my relationship with my wife as the genuine, fulfilling partnership it is but as just a sex act that’s worthy of scorn.
And all that “make Pride less sexual” discourse is doing the same fucking thing. In your efforts to make people see queerness as not just sex, you’re making the statement that queerness is only sex and that in order to be less sexual, we need to make ourselves less visibly queer.
How Horror Helps With Processing Grief and Trauma, S.F. Whitaker
Image description: a screencap of text. Text reads:
Studies have shown that horror can help us with grief, anxiety, depression, and a number of other disorders. For someone experiencing a deep loss or processing trauma, it becomes less about the deaths and more about the survivor. Grief studies in particular have found that trying to make someone feel better only makes the situation worse. You’re invalidating their feelings rather than helping. A book can take someone suffering on a journey. You feel the pain with the characters, some surviving while others do not, and there is a resolution of some kind. The final person can become a personal patron saint of healing.
The fact that this has yet to devolve into boustrophedon is a miracle… or a challenge. I’m looking at you @terpsikeraunos @macdicilla @labellamordens
no punctuation we read like romans
words doesn’t classical matter order in greek;
we, in a manner akin to that of a man who once was, in Rome, an orator of significant skill, who was then for his elegance of speech renowned and now for his elaborate structure of sentences cursed by generations of scholars of Latin, the language which he spoke and we now study, Cicero, write, rather than by any efficiency, functionality, or ease of legibility have our words, our honors, the breaths of our hearts, be besmirched.
I’m up to it
Not many jnſtances of Punctuation - but for many Daſhes – et words Capitaliz’d for emphavſis, but not logicaly - ſpeeling and word Endings varied Gratelie - and the long S - ſ - vſed in at the ſtart and Centre of wordes - & the short “s” vſed only at the end - as with the U and V, and the I and J - but v and j only at the ſtart of wordes (we diſtinguishe not between Vouels and Conſonants, only decoratiue Letteres). Ye letter “y” being in lookes cloſe to an Olde letter “þ” which is vſed as “th” - Y may be vſed in the place of TH - but only ſparingly - and ſtill Pronounc’d the ſame as TH. Long and rambling ſentences - ſeeminglie without end - a paragraph can conſiſt of One whole ſentence, and ſhort ſentences are rare – we ſcribe like hiſtorical Modern English – and other european Languages.
And furthermore, Carthage is to be destroyed.
Or we could just
people with mental illnesses and disabilities are not lazy for being affected by their symptoms.
you are not being lazy for not being as productive as others who can realistically afford to put that much energy into their work.
Good news: if you’re currently laying around and not producing anything, you are a credit to your species.
I’m an ant biologist and I’d like to point out that ants also spend a significant percentage of the time doing nothing.
Turns out sometimes the most evolutionary useful thing you can do is chill and not wear yourself to shreds, whether mammal or insect. It helps you deal with emergencies and adapt to change. Plus, you can act as living food storage!
That last part is probably more an ant thing than a human thing, but hey, live your dreams.
it’s also a bear thing, which absolutely explains me
Doing absolutely fuck-all is how antarctic sea sponges live to be over 10,000 years old, so live your best, longest, laziest life.
Remember lions? Fellow apex predators?
Yeah, they spend 16-20 hours of the day laying around, socializing, raising Cubs and napping.
The last 4-8 hours are spent hunting.
Wait wait, they’re not a primate so they don’t count.
How about Orangutans?
Well, they spend 90% of their time awake just hanging out in food-rich areas, eating fruit and leaves, socializing, raising children, and chilling.
Well, they’re not people so it doesn’t-
How about Stone Age people in Europe?
They probably worked 3-5 hours per day, every day. (Though seasonal changes in food scarcity could change that)
Laborers in ancient Egypt worked 8 hours, with an hour break at lunch. They did this for 8 days, then rested 2 days. That sounds familiar. Except… they also had regular time off for festivals and holidays, and only worked for about 18 out of every 50 days.
Artisans in imperial Rome generally worked from 6am to Noon, and then had the rest of the day off… and only worked for half the year, due to all the holidays and festivals they got off.
But that’s too easy, what about a Peasant in medieval England?
6-8 hours per day, with Sundays off, Farm workers put in longer hours at harvest time but worked shorter days in winter when there are fewer hours of daylight. Economist Juliet Schor estimates that in the period following the Plague they worked no more than 150 days a year, due to the long holidays and many festivals.
Ugh, let’s go poorer. 17th century France. Starvation was afoot for the working poor!
During the reign of King Louis XIV, the workers of France had it tough, and hunger for the poorest was a fact of life. The typical working day was as much as 12 hours long, but two hours were set aside midday for lunch and perhaps an afternoon nap. Nevertheless, the Ancient Régime is said to have also guaranteed peasants, labourers and other workers a total of 52 Sundays, 90 rest days and 38 religious holidays off per year, meaning they worked just 185 out of 365 days.
So what changed?
The industrial revolution, baybe~~
New factory owners could work their employees to the bone due to a lack of regulation and abundance of cheap labour.
The typical factory worker in mid 19th-century England toiled away for a soul-destroying 16 hours a day, six days a week, 311 days per year!
THAT nightmare became the standard by which western society began to judge “work-life balance” and anything gentler than the industrial factory’s unfettered brutality is considered “softness”
(So many people died being mangled in those machines. Hair handkerchiefs went into style during American industrialization because working women would otherwise get their hair caught in the machines, and be either scalped or be bodily pulled inside to die…. But that’s a horror for another time)
Americans in 2020 worked an average of 8.5 hours per day on weekdays, plus another 5 hours on weekends.
Taking out federal holidays and weekends, we work 262 days per year. Most of us get 5-9 sick days to take per year. (Yes, a fixed number, no matter how sick you really are), and usually either no paid vacation, or 7-15 days paid vacation, depending on seniority and the company. Unpaid vacation doesn’t have a max, but taking it often risks you getting fired.
Even comparing against the poorest laborers in ancient history the current working structure for humans is, frankly, inhumane.
We are mammals. Let us rest. Let us celebrate holidays and attend festivals. Let us attend to our homes and families.
Even the ultra wealthy folks who got their heads chopped off gave us more time off than this!!!
Someone in the comments said something like “humans are instinctively industrious and productive, as social creatures!”
Buddy, that’s a lie fed to you by capitalism.
In our default state, we attend to our families yes, but we also party like hell, lounge around, and make fantastic works of art just to be proud of ourselves. We made beautiful things for the joy of creating them.
Stone Age humans may have spent a couple hours hunting and gathering, but DEFINITELY spent loads of time painting every available surface. Time and weather washed most of it away, but some places like Arizona and Colorado still preserve a few of the endless murals made by ancient hands.
Evidence shows that the ancient world was COVERED in paintings and etchings - just saturated with images of birds and beasts and humans, sunsets and cool weather. We invented mythologies and painted about them. We did something impressive, and painted about it. We taught our children how to paint and lifted them into our shoulders so they could mark the ceiling.
In our most base state, humans will work enough to survive, but our instincts demand we use all other time to create art. We want to communicate. To make connections.
“Working” or “being productive” is not on that list.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
I will reblog this every time.
Getting dirty, asking questions, being unapologetically enthusiastic about things, going overboard on projects. These are a few of my favorite things.
This is so heartbreaking, but so true.
And it’s even more heartbreaking when you see the transition and how performative it is.
I was a camp counselor at a science/nature camp when I was 16, for a bunch of 10 and 11 yr old girls. And one day while we were waiting around for the naturalist to come get us to go on the day’s hike, the boys cabin we were grouped with was exploring the area and overturned a log and found a salamander. One of the boys picked it up and they brought it over.
My girls all went “ewww, gross, keep it away!”
…right up until I said “whoa, cool, can I see it?”
This boy handed me the salamander and all of a sudden my girls were clustering around. They wanted to hold it. They were asking questions about it. They had stories of other times they’d seen a lizard or caught a frog or something. A couple of them went with some of the boys to look under another log and see if they could find another one.
All they had needed was permission to be curious, to show interest instead of disgust. And as soon as someone they were looking to for cues on “how to be a girl” showed interest, as soon as they didn’t feel like they had to perform socially-acceptable girliness and pretend to be grossed out in order to gain adult approval, all that natural curiosity and the fascination most kids have for the natural world just came bubbling right up.
As a female engineer, I have to reblog this.
And as a female with a degree in Zoology this is a MUST REBLOG for me. I have loved SCIENCE for nearly all of my life. Non-human animals have been the loves of my life.
As a girl who loves to be unapologetically passionate about life, I will always reblog this.
I live my life under the basic principle that people know their minds, bodies, genders, and orientations better than I do so I just take them at their word when they say they are a thing.
“But people could be faking for-” I don’t care. I would rather show someone a kindness they don’t need than not show them one they do.
A platonic True Love’s Kiss
While it shows up in more modern retellings all the time (Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, depending on your definition The Frog Prince and the Little Mermaid) breaking a curse with “true love’s kiss” is actually pretty rare in folktales.
The only lover who kisses a curse away I can think of right now is actually a woman, the girl from Grimm’s The True Bride (or True Sweetheart), but another genuine True Love’s Kiss is a brother saving his sister, in the English-Scottish ballad Kemp Owyne or the tale of The Laidly Worm of Spindleston Heugh:
A widowed king with two children remarries a jealous witch, who transforms the princess - either unnamed or Margaret - into a beastly dragon while the prince - either Kemp Owyne, Kempion, or Child Owyne - is away.
The news reaches her brother and he hastens to find the her, coming upon a fiery beast. In some versions he is afraid of her, in others he nearly attacks her. But she speaks to him and he knows her, kissing her three times to break the spell and turn her back into herself.
Of course I’m delighted with the idea of sibling love being the love that breaks a kiss, but I also like the wiggle room there is in this tale for how the prince acts. The overall tone seems to be very brave and chivalrous, but:
- In one version of the ballad he mouths off a lot about how she’s totally going to destroy the boat he and his buddy are in because she is so monstrous.
- In one of them the dragon-princess promises her brother magic gifts, but also threatens that they will straight up kill him if he strikes her and he should get over here and kiss her already.
- In two of the versions I know the evil queen ends up punished by being transformed into a beast or toad. In the latter it’s the prince himself who does this while in the first it could be read as the princess doing it.
Which implies that this whole family knows how to use magic and that these siblings probably turn each other into dragons or wolves on the reg when they’re bored. Giving me leave to turn the noble bravery of the prince into:
“Maggie get your scaly face over here, so I can kiss you better and kick that woman’s ass. No one gets to curse my sister but me.”