@circafox

How I failed my first Nanowrimo

Last January 2018, I promised myself to write at least one book to completion or else I was going to give up writing at all.

Why the ultamatum? I thought it was time for me to ask myself if I was ever going to take writing seriously. It’s been 10 years since I started writing as a hobby. I only made plot outlines but never the book itself. I did have aspirations on becoming a published author and doing it full time.

Why the ultamatum, Now, I think the ultamatum wasn’t necessary or even a good idea. The me last year decided to agree on that self-contract though.

First to third quarter of the year passed and I didn’t start a single word despite how daunting the cost of the promise was. When Halloween season came around I thought “why not join Nanowrimo?”

Nanowrimo would be a good thing for me because I could see how much I progressed. And as someone who likes to see progress and have a reward at the end, it made a lot of sense to me.

So I signed up and did my daily word count every day. My initial feeling was excitement. I had a full outline of the story and everyday when I see the word count chart rise I was feeling even more motivated. That is until I hit my 10,000 word count. Here’s a look of my chart:

Okay looking at it again, you can see my procrastination by the dots at the bottom. On the first day I didn’t even write a single word! The highest I had gone was 2,249 words on the 9th day. And by the 13th day I probably have given up altogether. In total I had only written 10,527 words.

I don’t know why I suddenly stopped altogether when I’ve reached a milestone but there is one I can think of: I was actually afraid to finish the book.

Ooooooh wait what? Yeah even though I’m so far away from reaching 50k, the thought of finishing a book was scary. I was in limbo with the early stages of being a writer. If I advanced to a draft writer, that is a whole obstacle I couldn’t fathom. This was all in my subconscious though.

The me from the past was probably settling with procrastination as soon as I reached 10k which was a great milestone to reach for lil’ ol’ me. It was a pretty amazing goal and I somehow negotiated with my self-contract that I technically wrote a book. It wasn’t complete but 10,000 words is freaking satisfying. Besides I finished writing the First Act anyway.

Will I be joining this year? Yeah I will, but with a different story this time. It would be cheating to continue my last book I think. This time I’m thinking of something simple to write. A story that is not too deep with the genre being romance or fantasy or thriller.

TLDR: I failed my nanowrimo because I succumb to procrastination.

Most popular booktubers are always so joyful and giddy. I’m over that phase in youtube so I’m now drawn to critical booktubers.

They actually have something to add and aren’t afraid to speak their mind. Aside from that, I just love listening to book rants.

Last month I discovered ReadWithCindy through my youtube recommendations and her content was something I was into. Before her I had Jordan Harvey, Casey Aonso, itsdivya and paperbackdreams to fill me in on book rants. Cindy was different on another level though for me.

Check out her youtube channel: readwithcindy

She is an asian woman with a hilarious sarcastic humor that I love. Her job is an art director which is something close to my planned career path (so I sorta look up to her). Cindy doesn’t tolerate any female leads in books who deserve some criticism. She actually cares about diversity and the consumerism aspect of book reading. I respect everything that she is and kinda have her in a pedestal as one of the greatest people I’ve discovered.

I relate to her so much and agree with her thoughts. I also admire how she’s a “woke independent woman” or however you put it. She’s my current favorite in the booktube genre and also is the one that convinced me to read Six of Crows.