hello!! i’m indeed romani, more specifically romanichal. i’ve actually heard about people in your position more than once, and it’s very unfortunate that our culture can become lost to some people and families, but the lucky thing is there’s always time to learn!
if you want to learn more about your family in particular, i would first try to find out which subgroup to which your family belongs, which may or may not be easily figured out depending on where you’re from, unless your family did a lot of moving around and immigrating. this’ll be especially important if you intend on learning a romani language dialect, as each subgroup has their own, which is usually at least in part influenced by the native language of the country they lived in
for example, i am - as previously stated - a romanichal (sometimes spelt romanichel) which means my family eventually settled in and lived in england, but they immigrated to the usa, where i’ve lived my whole life. so if you’re able to find out where your family may have originally come from, you can probably figure out whether you’re romanichal, lovari, cale, sinti, etc.
i was personally lucky enough to have learned about our history and language from a young age, so i can’t really imagine what it must be like to have to discover it later in life tbh so i hope you manage to find all you’re looking for!
anyhoo, i’ve compiled a few sources here for you (and anyone else who’s curious!) to check out:
wikipedia - romani subgroups (i know listing wikipedia as a source for anything is usually frowned upon BUT this article actually has a pretty comprehensive list of subgroups and where they’re from, to get you started)
rotasandribbons here on tumblr is a VERY excellent source on nearly anything romani you can think of, as you can see, there’s numerous resources on their page linked right in the sidebar for numerous categories (although some are under construction, i would check back every now and then!). i realise looking at everything listed here may be overwhelming, so i’m going to cherry-pick a few good resources for you to look at
romani projekt is originally a german site, but i’ve linked the english version here. some of the links still lead to german pages so if you’re better at understanding english (idk, maybe ur german?), just click the “english version” box up the the right side of the page and you’re good. this is a good site for learning about language-related things, but there’s also a good amount of history. the resources section of this site is also very good and offers more links to other sites about romani history and culture
romani connection - some history here, but i’m mostly linking it for its good list of books
roma facts is a very good site in general for learning about both history and culture. there’s a LOT here
if you find out you’re kalderash, OR if you just want to learn a dialect of romani in general that follows actual romani grammar, Learn Romani: Das-duma Rromanes by Ronald Lee is a very good source, i have this book myself and it’s incredibly useful
american romanichals - IF you happen to find out you’re romanichal, you might get some use out of this site if you’re able to trace any of your family history; you may find some stuff about your ancestors here!
of course there’s many more sources available and i would encourage you to explore the sources on rotasandribbon’s blog as much as possible :>
edit: i’d like to add here that i want to emphasise to you not to feel any shame or invalidation from having to learn about your family’s history and culture from books and sites, as i said, your situation isn’t entirely uncommon. so if anyone tries to make you feel less for having to learn this way, pay them absolutely no heed