Christmas - the gift of a SON!
Here is one of the most personal posts I have ever wrote, and it’s on Christmas day. Enjoy.
Tis the season! A time filled with snow, family, food, pyjamas, board games, eggnog, photo ops, reading, making memories and being thankful for the blessings we have.
For me Christmas is a much anticipated time. I love the working up to Christmas as much as the actual day! That’s the reason why we set up our tree and decorate our house at the beginning of November. I truly believe that Christmas is best enjoyed in anticipation of what to come. That being said, for others Christmas is something they fear, dread and are anxious of. For my wife and I, last Christmas was a uniquely hard time for the both of us. We still didn’t dread or fear Christmas, but we were definitely anxious. See, four months earlier we lost our first child due to a miscarriage nine weeks into the pregnancy. It was an unimaginably hard time in our life as we had already been trying to conceive for a few years. But, you can read all about that story here.
Therefore, as we entered the Christmas holidays last year, we were obviously anxious to find out if a child was on the way. Every month of trying was a roller coaster of emotions as we hoped to see the two lines appear on the pregnancy test. It was the only gift we hoped for. Unfortunately we found out Christmas Eve morning that we would have to wait another month as there would be no baby. It was heart crushing to realize this only hours before we began the festivities with my family. We had a difficult time preparing to celebrate Christmas as another year was now going by without the sign of a child.
Only a few hours later, a Christmas miracle happened. We were visiting the Christmas Eve service at my brother’s church when this miracle took place. Now hold on, before you think I am going to get all weird on this blog post, hear me out. I was standing singing a carol when I noticed in the row ahead of me a few children laughing, ecstatic and inattentive as their minds were most likely flooded with the excitement of receiving gifts. It was then that the music faded in my mind and my thoughts turned to the hopes of being a father one day. Time didn’t slow down or anything like that, but that moment did seem to last longer than normal. As I imagined what it would be like to celebrate Christmas with my own child, a thought seared my mind with such clarity. It was as if someone turned a light on in my subconscious. The only way I can explain it was as if my mind received a text message, and the message said; “You will be a father by next Christmas!” I shook my head and knew what I had heard. It was a promise! It was hope! It was instant peace! It was the message of Christmas. A child will come! I have experienced moments like this before and knew that this was not a thought conceived out of my own intentions. It was divine. Now, I have thought a million times before about how I would love to be a dad before such and such time, but this truly was different.
I told my wife after the service, and she quickly reminded me that if you are going to be a father before next Christmas, I would have to be pregnant in the next few months. This was a detail I seemed to overlook in my excitement. I began to recant what I said, when my wife confidently said; “I believe it can happen!” Please understand, I am not someone who grabs onto thoughts or feelings and uses them as the rutter than courses my life, but this thought had brought hope and peace to us when we needed it most and for that alone, was a miracle.
We grabbed ahold of that promise with continued hope that we would one day be parents. We had no idea how long it would be, or how it would happen, but we believed it. We entered the new year making arrangements at the fertility clinic to start the process in February. We wanted to wait one more month to see if we could conceive without additional assistance, but knew it was time to pursue other options if need be. A couple weeks into the new year, my wife woke me up by waving a pregnancy test with two lines in my face. It had happened. A story that is better told here. We fast forward the story to this Christmas, and I was reminded last night as I stood and sung similar carols about the promise we received a year prior.
Christmas has always been a time for me to celebrate the birth of Jesus! This year I not only celebrate it as the birth of God’s son, but of my son! What a miracle, what a gift, what a Christmas!
Thanks for listening.
Enjoy your Christmas!