[video description: a man playing saxophone in front of a large pipe. everything he plays echoes back through the pipe, resulting in a call-and-response type song. the person behind the camera claps along to the beat. end description.]
a reasonable society would base their entire economy around this
Tired of this shit
If you’re single and don’t want to spend a lifetime alone… this is why you should never be fully open about your kinks if you want to have a relationship.
I’ve been trying for a long time now to find someone who will accept me for me. Despite the memes and a load of other BS out there that blindly tell you “there’s someone out there for everyone”, or “you’ll find someone who’s looking for the same as you eventually, don’t put yourself down”.
As much as these platitudes are given by kindhearted people who mean well I’ve found there’s a cut off point at which people can’t accept you purely because of the things you like, regardless of whether you’d want them to participate in them or not it’s the fact you’re into them instantly throws out everything else about you that they liked.
People can accept a little BDSM light d/s because of 50 shades of grey they’re a little more accepting since they’re aware a little of what bondage entails.
But if you go further and say for example have to explain what watersports is or are into crossdressing or DDLG and before you even get to the more extreme ones, or are pansexual in the bedroom and are thus into double digits for previous sexual partners, the drawbridge pulls up and you’re too much for them despite the fact you’ve been with vanilla partners before and haven’t expected or required them to be into what you’re into.
All you ask (is it too much to ask?) is that you be accepted for liking things even if it’s only done privately.
Experience has painfully illustrated to me that there are 3 approaches you can take when trying to meet someone.
Unless you’re lucky enough to find the proverbial unicorn who is as kinky as you, in the same county or country and would accept the things you’re into most people have to settle for a fairly vanilla relationship.
I’ve been single most my adult life, excluding a handful of relationships not lasting more than a year at most.
Kinky people are trapped in a kind of purgatory limbo, you want a relationship but have to lie and hide part of yourself to keep it.
Having done that you’re then told you’re loved by your partner and nothing would change that, you take the chance and open up to be met by a tirade of abuse for having kept secrets you were too scared to share for exactly that reason.
We have a part of our spirit and soul that is so fragile, so misunderstood, so widely unacceptable to most people that we have to hide it away to protect it as otherwise it gets trampled.
If you’ve never seen someone run a mile and completely reject you after you’ve dared to be honest and open with them then you’re very lucky.
So to conclude, logic dictates that most people can accept 95% of something that is good, whilst striving for perfection compromise is inevitable that they can learn to live with and accept the 5% that isn’t.
This applies to goods and services and doesn’t seem to apply to people. I find it almost paradoxical - 95% vs 5% surely the higher figure should be the determining one? Nope in only 1 case does the higher value determine rejection, if you’re 95% acceptable 5% wrong they reject, if you’re 95% unacceptable 5% right they reject.
What a shitty imperfect world we live in.
There’s only so much rejection and spirit trampling someone can take before they start to think they’re going to die alone, lonely unloved with no family of their own perhaps with that being their deepest fear realised, or “opt out” long before then. Such are the circumstances that have drawn them to those conclusions.