The Outbursts of Everett True was a comic strip that ran in papers from 1905 to 1927, wherein the aforementioned Everett True regularly beat the everliving shit out of rude people as a warning to anyone else who might consider being rude. Men have not only been taking up too much room on public transport for about as long as public transport has existed, but the people around them have been irritated about it for at least a hundred years. The next time someone tries to claim that manspreading is a false phenomenon, please direct them to this strip so that Everett True can correct their misconceptions with an umbrella upside the head.
I have never before heard of Everett True, but if he “regularly beat the everliving shit out of rude people as a warning to anyone else who might consider being rude,” I have a strong spiritual connection with him.
I fucking love him
i can imagine this guy’s voice very clearly in my head but i couldn’t put a name to it
He also jabs racists in the eye!
I love the justice grandpa of fists
I’m very lucky to own a book that’s a collection of most of these comics (sadly not all of them) and would highly recommend hunting these down if you can. Sorry for the lack of a scanner but phone photos will just have to do.
He was a enjoyable cuss who didn’t care for war mongering.
Especially profitable war mongering and excuses for it!
He certainly didn’t like selfish husbands and fathers!
Politicians who turned on their words once they got theirs weren’t safe.
He said fuck the police!
He absolutely didn’t like people ruining little things for kids.
He stood up for foreigners. Especially those doing their best to communicate with limited second language knowledge.
He was not having any tomfoolery when it came to gun safety and laws. Especially with youth involved.
You had better not abuse a animal with him nearby. He’d right that wrong real quick!
And best of all him and his wife were both prickly cusses together. Relationship goals.
I have a new role model
“justice grandpa of fists”
It’s nice to see a fat dude in a political cartoon that’s NOT being used as shorthand for greed and corruption.
Hes like the personification of motherfucker unlimited
Reblogging this newer version of this thread with so many more strips I haven’t seen…why did this character ever disappear. Where did you go, Everett.
we need him more than ever…
Case in point: this dude
Yes he got like that by being so hormonally addled that he tried to fight a tree. But try to tell me a forest god wouldn’t have big leafy antlers just like that if he were to take a physical form.
Yes deer are dumb panicky dinguses in real life, but sometimes a picture will capture one looking all majestic and we just… want to believe…
Extremely City white people are so fucking weird they see a pic of a deer and theyre like “its an Old God, tell me the wisdom of the trees Forest Lord … wow this is just like game of thrones” its a deer. Its a fucking stupid idiot animal it doesnt know shit
who says the old gods aren’t stupid animals who are so hormonally addled they’d try to fight a tree
@librariansheart for your enjoyment
Look, I’ve lived a good chunk of my childhood in a halfway abandoned mountain village in the middle of nowhere. Which meant wildlife galore whether you liked it or not.
And that meant sometimes we saw a deer in the middle of the road at midnight and the majestic motherfucker just stared us down until my mom shredded our tires to stop from hitting him. Once we stopped he did a little half-bow as if saying ‘You have not committed an act of godslayer this night. Your bloodline shall bear no curse of mine’, and walked away chill as you please.
The next day a neighbor told us a deer with fucking big antlers got tangled in his fence because it was trying to steal his grapes.
I went on a hike with another neighbor to collect yarrow for tea. A bear came out of the woods towards us, went on its hind legs and inquiringly roared. And he pushed me, tiny as I was back then, behind me out of sight and spread his jacket wide to make himself seem bigger than he already was. He let out a sound I had not known humans were capable of making. He and the bear looked at each other for a moment, and came to an understanding. The bear went down and walked away, respecting a powerful opponent protecting its young.
A week ago, there had been a bear that completely tore apart our trashcan and gorged itself on half-fermented apples we threw away. My cousin had to chase it away, drunk out of its tiny fucking mind, with an umbrella that made weird noises when opened. The bear ran for its life, crashed into our wall, fell on its ass, and scampered away.
I was playing on a swing once, all alone, and a fox came up to me, the most beautiful animal I had seen in my ten years of life. Thinking it wanted to pass, I stopped swinging and sat still not to spook it. But instead of passing, the fox circled the swing, found it wanting, and came to sit before me perfectly poised and looked me in the eye, and I could swear it wished to tell me something but I could not understand the language spoken before human time.
Then my mom came out of the nearby inn, shrieked at the fox and swung her purse to chase it away. The fox jumped, ran off and fell into a ditch, all notions of grace gone with the wind.
What I’m saying is: the old gods are absolutely idiot animals who embraced the life of constant sex and hedonism in return for losing their higher power. Whether or not they regret it, we’ll never know.
“you talk like a smart/pretentious person” actually I just forget simple words constantly and am forced to rummage through my brain for the nearest synonym, which is usually twice as long and needlessly specific
See also: my various hyperfixations expose me to words I like and get I excited to use them in sentences
see also also: i’m too fucking stupit to make the sentence less pretentious
It is funny that Hitlers last moments of life were pure misery and terror before he blew his own brains out, it is funny that Luis Carrero Blanco was blown up by a bomb so powerful it sent his car flying over a 3 story building, it is funny that Ronald Reagan got shot and that his wound led to health complications that plagued him for the rest of his vile life, it is funny that Margaret Thatcher lived in constant fear of assassination by the IRA, it is funny that Mussolini ended life looking like a prized ham in the deli section, and it is funny that Trump might die from covid.
America is the least educated country in the world when it comes to American history
For any of my followers who may genuinely have this question:
Gay people know Reagan as the president who laughed at AIDS and did nothing because “all the right people” (aka us gay people) were dying from it.
Reagan is the president under whose auspices the incarceration rate of Black people on drug charges ballooned to caricaturishly high levels.
Reagan is the president that abolished the air traffic controllers’ union.
Reagan is the president who espoused the flawed “trickle down economics” theory, cut federal funding for state welfare programmes by 80%, froze the federal minimum wage while taxes and costs skyrocketed, and established the capital gains tax cuts that set our corporate feudal state into motion.
Reagan is the president who gutted federal assistance programmes, purging the Social Security disability rolls, and caused my own grandfather to die because he could no longer afford to buy both food and medicine.
Then of course, there’s the Iran-Contra Affair, Star Wars (not the film, but the space based missile platform), school prayer, blah blah blah
But American History textbooks only remember him for “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall,” treating him like he alone was the force that united East and West Germany and brought the Soviet Union to its knees.
- “Organic” isn’t better for you or for the environment. It actually means nothing of any significance at best and is sometimes even the more wasteful, more hazardous option.
- A shitload of “natural” food including a lot of imported produce is grown and harvested through slave labor in inhumane conditions.
- Pizza, fried chicken, french fries, fast food, candy bars and chips ARE nutritious. They are loaded with good things. Just because they have an abundance of excess fats and might not be healthy as a staple doesn’t mean they are “nutritionless” or that their calories are “empty.” Those are hokey buzzwords pushed by the people in charge of how much you pay for the alternatives.
- Eating healthier costs more. Much more. Looking down on people for their reliance on cheaper food is extremely classist and expecting everyone to be able to live off fresh veggies and cage-free meats is insultingly unrealistic in the modern world.
- “Processed” literally only means the food went through some kind of automated process. This can be literally the exact same thing a human being would have done to the food for it to be labeled “unprocessed.” Being processed does not make something less healthy.
- Chemicals with long, scary names are part of nature. An apple is full of compounds you probably can’t pronounce. A shorter ingredients label only means they didn’t bother listing all 300 things the product is actually made of and HAS to be made of.
- Preservatives, artificial flavors and other additives are not the devil. Most are harmless and in general they are part of the reason you haven’t already starved to death or died of a food borne illness.
- MSG is not bad for you at all.
- The fact that something might be made of “scrap” meats like pig snouts or chicken necks only means one thing: that we didn’t waste perfectly normal, edible meat.
- I DON’T KNOW HOW I FORGOT THIS IN MY FIRST VERSION OF THIS POST BUT GMO’S ARE NOT DANGEROUS TO EAT. GMO’S ARE SAVING LIVES. YOU’VE ALREADY EATEN GMO’S BEFORE YOU EVEN KNEW THE TERM. IT’S FINE. EAT THEM.
So I’ve literally done this twice before and so have several other people but here are sources on all of these, most of them fairly recent academic studies or otherwise the most up-to-date I could find:
- Organic food isn’t better for you:   
- Tracing food industry slave labor: 
- Healthier food is more expensive:  
- Saturated fats (i.e. “junk food”) still provide needed energy, aren’t as bad as people thought:  
- “Processed” isn’t synonymous with less healthy, because it means a lot of different things: 
- “Chemicals” also means a lot of things and many food components are misunderstood by the general public: 
- MSG is not harmful:   
- GMO’s are not dangerous to eat: [400 sources collected here]
“Processed” always gets me, it’s like yeah even that delicious homemade salsa you brought to the party is processed - the moment you took a knife to the tomatoes it underwent processing
Ugh I was one of those pretentious food snob moms for awhile. I’m so sorry to, like, all of humanity for those years.
Food snobs like these are how i developed an eating disorder as a child 👌👌
salt & vinegar chips are snacks for fucking masochists. literally the entire flavour of the goddamn chip is “acetic acid, which will hurt your tongue, and then just salt on top of that to hurt it worse”. it’s brutal. this chip is designed to hurt you
do you ever see people, in october 2020, talking about, like, hanging out with their friends and getting drinks with people and going on dates and hooking up with people and hanging out in coffee shops and going to the gym and realize that some people are living in a completely different reality than you are