Man I just met wearing multiple pieces of Rick and Morty merch: So yea I work in a vape shop haha.
Me: Yea, I know.
Just random things I find cute about girls
- when they braid their hair randomly
- matching their socks to their accessories
-when they subconsciously mess with their necklaces/ earrings
- sticking their hands in the holes in their jeans
- when they have thick eyeliner on and squint or scrunch they’re face so you can see the full line and how much work she put into it to make it sharp
- when they share their hand lotion with you cause they put to much on their hand
- when they show you pictures of their pet and talk super happily about how great and awful it behaves
Was just informed by my mom that I do in fact have ADHD and the reason I thought I didn’t was because ever since I was seven whenever I got super energetic my mom would have me go chop wood so now when I’m feeling The ADHD I go chop wood and I thought it was just some sort of routine I started when I was little and wanted to blow off steam
I’d also like to point out that my sister has a really hard time staying present (I can’t remember the term because we’ve always called it Tethered at my house) and whenever she’s feeling Untethered my mom has her knead bread and make syrup because they’re repetitive and easy things to do that ground her
Now that I’m thinking about it- my brother has days where he doesn’t talk and doesn’t eat unless he’s prompted, and on those days my mom sits him down in the fish pond in the backyard and plays Mozart and because he’s so used to that being his wake up he always comes back in after like an hour rambling about random things
Oh yeah and when it rains my mom has a required hour where we all have to go outside and run around and whoever finds the most worms for the garden wins and then we go inside and my mom makes us tea and we watch Studio Ghibli movies
Wait!!! When one of us has a bad day at school we make a fire in the backyard and roast homemade sausages and my mom tells us stories until we laugh and then she tucks is in bed like we’re five again and sings us songs
Uh…. wait guys is my mom a witch raising a bunch of fae kids hold on-
your mom is very definitely a witch raising a bunch of fae kids, please tell her i love her in the abstract way one can love a complete stranger.
The Novosibirsk Zoo recently welcomed a bunch of Pallas’s kittens and I’m. Just look at them.
Today I learned that when Alexander the Great conquered Egypt, many Greek-Romans came to Egypt as tourist. Many of them ended up carving their names stating “so and so was here, and the work of these Egyptians are great” in the tombs of the Valley of the Kings.
Ancient Yelp.com Reviews
Talking to men online and them saying they have a bunch of funny memes to show you but it just ends up being a bunch of memes making fun of women, like did you expect me to laugh at these? 🤭
I love telling nerdy guys i have no interest in Nintendo and couldn’t care less about its characters just to feel something
I just said “I am Moana from Motunui, you killed my father, prepare to die” and it actually took me a few seconds to realize that’s not right
My name is Inigo Montoya. You will board my boat, sail across the world, and return the heart of Te Fiti.
my name is Moana Montoya, you will board my father, prepare to sail, and die
i would never work as a gothic heroine which is a shame because i’ve got the looks for it but the firm presence of mind to gtfo from anything unpleasant
The Phantom: I have heard you sing. I have heard you, my child. I am the A—
me as Christine Daaé: [under my breath as I gather my things hurriedly] Our Father, Who art in Heaven, Hallowed be Thy Name
rogue master of the manor: [begins making flirtatious veiled threats towards me]
me, a poor governess: [immediately makes plans to get a different job]
ruined aristocrat who has a dark reputation spoken about only in whispers: May we speak alone for a moment?
me, Aware of things: No thank you, we’ve only just met. My aunt is my chaperone and a lovely conversationalist. Please do come and discuss her seventeen dogs
dark brooding guardian: [makes borderline asinine comments about my blossoming beauty]
me, packing my bags: Time for finishing school!
passionate possessive lover: You shall be mine! [yanks on my arm]
me: [immediately lays down heavily like a corpse]
passionate possessive lover: I am very strong, I can still ca—stop it with the noodle arms!!
me: [slunks down further]
he keeps trying to grab my waist but everytime he leans over me my enormous hat knocks him right in the jaw
he keeps struggling to pull me up but he steps on my dress every two seconds
he lifts my arms over my head and tries to jiggle me into sitting up on my knees but i just looked like a squashed horse stuffed into a dress like :p
he tries to take me by my leg but i just flop back down and my petticoats are silk and therefore very slippery
eventually he gets fed up and calls a stableboy over and the stableboy tries to take me up by my head, yanking at me at the neck, and then my passionate possessive lover is like “no you little idiot! here take one of her feet” and dashes over to take me by the arms but as he leans over my enormous hat knocks him in the jaw
they’re trying to slowly drag me over to his carriage but all of the townspeople have stepped out of their houses and shops
people are slowly looking out of their carriages like “what the fuck?”
meanwhile the stableboy has his grip on my leg and the passionate possessive lover is carrying me by my arms like a ragdoll with his head thrown back so he doesn’t get knocked in the jaw again by my enormous hat and my derrière is skidding against the dirt making a lady-shaped line from one end of the street to the next
“Kidnapping. This is literally kidnapping.”
“Well, yes, but… yes.”
“Someone should do something, right?”
“Oh, only if they manage to actually get her in the carriage. I want to see how long it takes for him to give up.”
“Son, she could decapitate him with that hat.”
“How do you know?”
“That’s what happened to the last ass who actually got her in the carriage.”
“This is not very elegant,” my possessive ex-lover pants. With his head tilted back, I can’t see his face, but I can see the bead of sweat rolling its way down his jaw.
“If you sweat on me,” I say. pointing my toe so that my foot runs the risk of slipping out of the shoe the stable boy is clinging to, “I’ll use the hat.”
My possessive ex-lover swears and digs his nails into my arm when my derriere catches on a cobblestone. “Aren’t you already using the hat?”
A boy standing just outside his front door, close enough to have heard my threat, whoops. “She says she’s going to use the hat!”
The ensuing cheer from our onlookers puts the first hint of unease in my ex-lover’s eyes.
I feel that if I don’t repost this somewhere every year at some point, I’m living my life incorrectly.
What is even..
Some backstory. In FFXIV, for a very short spurt of time, there was a glitch where the upper body of a model would lock and freeze in place while the rest would still perform animations from other emotes and attacks. The results were pretty incredible for those that could get the lock to happen.
It was quickly hot-fixed out, but not quickly enough for the above video to get made, un/fortunately.