I love how the whole community is in the know on this tortoise’s bullshit lmao
When we’re new to adulthood, it doesn’t immediately occur to all of us that you’re almost always allowed to leave a situation, because growing up we’re forced to stay in situations until someone dismisses us and/or takes us home, or if we do leave on our own accord there’s someone waiting at home to say “we don’t quit in this family!” Boring party? You can leave. You don’t like the lecture? You can walk out. New doctor not working out? You can end the appointment, you don’t need to wait for them to dismiss you. Bad date? You can just go home. Leaving a situation prematurely might have consequences, but unless you’re under arrest or serving prison time, it’s pretty much always allowed.
–commenter Allison @ askamanager
A while back, I called for a Lyft ride home from the airport. The lyft pulled up, he called my name, and I opened the door and climbed in. While I was climbing in he was getting out, which I didn’t realize until he opened the back door on the other side.
Him: I’ll put your bag in the trunk.
Me: Oh, there’s no need.
Him: I’ll just put it back there.
Me: I prefer to keep my bag with me.
I was also still holding onto it so he couldn’t just grab it, and when I said “I prefer to keep it with me” this cloud of rage crossed his face.
Him: Then get out.
Me: Excuse me?
Him: Get out, I don’t want your bag fucking up my upholstery.
Now, this was a weekender – essentially an upscale duffle bag. Small, almost brand new, easily fitting on the middle-seat beside me. I don’t know if he was just really intense about his upholstery or if he was running some kind of scam, but either way I now DEFINITELY was not going to let him separate me from my bag.
So I said “Okay,” and I picked up my bag and got out, took out my phone, and cancelled him as my driver.
He looked at me like I’d grown a second head. There was this moment of total disconnect in his face, and then he started ranting about how someone had damaged his upholstery and they needed to put their bags in the back and he wasn’t going to have me getting his upholstery dirty.
I said, “I’m out of your car. Drive on, I’ll get another,” and held up my phone.
This had clearly never happened before – it looked like plenty of people had thought “This guy is crazy” but went the “so I’d better let him do what he wants” route instead of “so I’m getting out of his car”. Which is totally normal! We’re socialized to prioritize “not making a scene” over personal safety. But when you do call that bluff, when you defy the social convention that the other person is counting on to make you do what they want you to do, they don’t know how to react, which gives you time for a clean getaway. And maybe he thought I was a dickhead but what do I care what an asshole thinks of me?
Anyway the moral of the story is yes, you should know that you can almost always leave a situation and often it’s in your best interest to do so.
(Right after I called for another car he picked up a fare using Quick Match or whatever it’s called, peeled out of the Lyft lane, and hit another car well nigh immediately.)
[ID: The Benefits of walking away. (Illustration of the back of a person walking away. ) 1. Makes bad things disappear quickly. 2. Gives everyone optimal view of your back. 3. Answers question, “I wonder what would happen if I just walked away”]
you can explain why it’s important for aspiring authors to read published books and not just fanfiction without condescending to fanfiction authors/readers and implying it’s inherently of lesser quality
like a lot of fanfiction is genuinely good and well-written! there’s some amazing work there! there is absolutely fanfiction out there that’s the same quality as well-written published works. being like ‘well, it’s cute, but it’s not real writing’ is just dismissive and frankly completely untrue.
but, at the same time, there are a lot of reasons it’s important to also read published works, and those reasons aren’t just ‘it’s better’. for one, a lot of writing original fiction involves introducing one’s own characters and setting to an audience who knows nothing about the characters or worldbuilding, which is generally not something you’re going to learn how to do by only reading stories where you already know the world and characters. that doesn’t mean the work isn’t good; it just means it doesn’t teach all of the skills you’ll need to know when writing
im a lifelong fanfic writer, but one thing fanfic won’t teach you is how to end a story. or how to structure one, really. fanfic is itself a continuation of a story, it’s a transformative work, and… it’s kind of rare for long, chaptered fic to actually be complete. it’s awesome when it is! but you do kind of get used to reading fanfic as a big nebulous cloud of what-ifs, and furthermores, and so ons, and etc.
published fiction pretty much always has to have a start, middle, and ending. you can’t really learn formal anatomy from fanfiction. you can learn a lot of creative stuff that published fiction rarely has the freedom to engage in–aus and remixes, for instance–but fanfic really isn’t where you’re going to be able to study structure and discipline.
Thank god. Finally some good fanfic vs. published story dialogue.
Fanfiction is also usually published as the author writes it, which means authors are limited in their ability to retroactively change story elements (removing plot holes or subplots that go nowhere, or adding foreshadowing for an important event they decided they wanted 1/3 into their story, etc). This means stories overall are generally less “polished” than professionally published work.
On a similar note, fic writers can “get away with” a lot more fluff that doesn’t move the story forward– ie, dedicating an entire chapter to characters cuddling, or spending a very long time explaining the economics system of a secret wizard world. This is a strength of fic because it’s often what people want to read– but it’s also something that usually hinges on the reader already being deeply invested in the characters and the world, which is a luxury you’re not going to get from a lot of original fiction.
Fanfiction isn’t necessarily better or worse than original fic, but it is a fundamentally different art. An aspiring fiction author reading only fanfic is like an aspiring fiction author reading only poetry; it’s great to enrich your skills by reading widely, but if you don’t read *the kind of art you are trying to make*, you won’t know how to make it.
Unfortunately, the truth is that you’ll probably always feel less loved or seen than you actually are. There are many people out there who decide against admitting their love for you or even uttering a compliment out loud, you only know about a fraction of the adoration that exists for you: there’s what you’ve been told about and there’s what you feel. But there’s also what you don’t even notice. Try to remember that however you’re feeling (lonely or invisible or unwanted) is valid and real, but it isn’t all. The world would be incredibly tiny if what you’re feeling was truly all there was.
“Unfortunately”??? OP THIS GREAT NEWS!!!! Do you even know how unloveable I feel? And you’re telling me that actually there’s more???? That there’s special secret love that I can’t necessarily see???? And I know it’s there because of sound logic and reason???
OP this is the best news ever. Made my whole day
Unfortunately because!! How beautiful would it be if we all allowed ourselves to love at full capacity!!
for my fellow psychotics who struggle with thinking someone is in their house, a method I’ve found that really works are these guys:
i put them on my front door and anytime it opens they ring. that way if i think someone has broken in or i see someone who isn’t there i can think back to if the bells have rung, and if they haven’t i can assure myself it’s not real. obviously it’s not fool proof, like if you are prone to auditory hallucinations, but it has really helped me calm down in time to avoid major psychotic breaks. it’s a real lifesaver
nonpsychotics encouraged to rb
fma fandom we need to talk. bradley literally looks like this, does Sexy Gymnast Swordfighting, loves his wife, HOW is he not the most crushed on character in the series??? how????
hiromu arakawa tell me your secret. how in the hell did you conquor the sexy villain paradox. he’s so attractive and YET bradley-fuckers who call him misunderstood uwu aren’t a thing.
roy, i think. roy is the reason. by the time we get to Fuhrer being attractive we’ve already seen a shirtless roy kill something that can’t be killed for a woman he’s in doomed-tragic love with. fellas take note. you want a hot villain that people don’t woobify, give them a sexy angsty will-die-for-my-wife antihero first.
it really is next to impossible to write realistic sibling dialogue, I just passed my brother on the stairs and instead of greeting each other like human beings I said ‘born survivor’ and he said ‘youtube rewind. let’s set it to rewind.’ like you ain’t gonna find that shit in a novel
aw man writing siblings is so wild because sometimes you just can’t portray it
me and my little brother don’t even greet each other - if we pass each other on the stairs or in the corridor, we jump into ridiculous fight stances then feign karate chopping and slapping each other (stopping just before we make contact) whilst making “HIIIYA” and “POW” noises for a solid 30 seconds, then silently walk off and continue what we were doing
and then sometimes he’ll either just do the Had To Do It To ‘Em pose when I enter the room or dab as a greeting
exactly! I have three younger brothers and the original post was just about the oldest, the middle one and me usually do some kind of elaborate dab also, and a lot of the time when I see the youngest I just yell his name like a wrestling commentator…siblings have a different language
my twin brother and I just point at each other like that spider-man meme if we see each other at school
every time we see each other my brother and i raise our elbows and start walking at each other/ standing completely still
its exactly like this
I’ve been thinking about this post for the last six months, I am so glad that it finally appeared on my dashboard again, thank you.
what addons do you use for firefox? i've just downloaded it to switch from chrome (derogatory)
UBlock Origin obviously. out-the-box works just fine but has a bunch of extra privacy/tracking/spam filters you can enable
Decentraleyes protects you against tracking through “free” curated content delivery and works alongside UBlock (or any of the other common adblocking addons)
I Don’t Care About Cookies good for EU users where GDPR made it so every site ever in the universe asks you to accept cookies and privacy terms seventeen times a day. will just auto-accept for you. never see an annoying popup again! but only use in conjunction with…
Cookie Auto Delete does what it says on the tin. will automatically flush cookies, cache, and data when you close a tab. those cookies you just auto accepted? they’re gone now. whitelist any sites you wanna stay logged in on and let the rest fucking perish
Don’t Track Me Google removes that annoying link conversion when you copy google results. you know when it changes from “site.com” to “encrypted.google.com/randomnonsensefor200charactersblahblahblah”? yeah. this stops that happening. fuck off, google.
Don’t Accept image/webp blocks sites from using the most useless file extension known to mankind so you can save as .jpg or .gif as god intended. fuck webp. seriously. what even is that.
Bypass Paywalls Clean exactly what you think it is
HTTPS Everywhere automatically adds ecrypted security to any site that supports https (you can do this manually by adding the s yourself to any url but… who can be fuckin bothere amirite? this does it for you)
New XKit …duh
Google Search Filter allows you to remove domains from your searches forever. pinterest? gone. weheartit? nuked. also works on duckduckgo. never type “-pinterest” into a search again.
Simple Tab Groups allows you to group tabs together and shove them out of sight, which is nice if you’re researching something and don’t want 50 bajillion jstor tabs clogging up your normal browsing session
after the war ends, Obi-Wan desperately wants to quit the Council, but Mace keeps rejecting his resignations
so Obi-Wan decides to take matters into his own hands: if he can’t resign formally, he’s going to get himself kicked off
he starts by showing up to Council meetings intoxicated, and wearing increasingly outrageous (and frequently revealing) clothing
when his own efforts fail to get any reaction out of Mace, he recruits outside assistance
he sends Anakin wearing a fake beard and mustache to attend as him (which has the side benefit of convincing Anakin that he never, ever, wants anything to do with the Council)
Cody attends wearing Obi-Wan’s clothes and lightsaber, but making no other attempt to disguise himself
Quinlan breaks in during a meeting, makes out with Obi-Wan for two minutes straight, then smashes through a window to make his daring escape
Ahsoka does her best Hondo impression and shows up to kidnap Obi-Wan in the middle of a session, with Rex and the Bad Batch (in their normal, full armor) as her dastardly pirate crew
and while certain members of the Council are outraged, Obi-Wan still can’t even get Mace to consider his resignation
of course, Mace isn’t going to tell Obi-Wan that his efforts have backfired: this is the most entertainment Mace has had in YEARS, he’s wasn’t letting Obi-Wan quit before he started this, and now at least half the reason is that he wants to see what Obi-Wan’ll try next
so, as someone who’s on their last day working in an optical store, i see a lot of people online recommending buying glasses from zenni as a cheater option than optical stores. the thing about zenni is a lot of their frames are SUPER low-quality. i had one for a couple years and the paint was chipping off. but does that mean the only option for high-quality frames is buying them in an optical store for super-inflated prices? NO.
here is what you do:
- go to an optical store and try on frames until you find one you like
- look on the inside of the left arm for the model number. this will be an abbreviation for the brand plus a 4-digit number. for example, a sferoflex frame might be SF 4567 or a tory burch frame might be TY 2345. if you’re having trouble finding it among all the info on the left arm, ask an employee what the frame’s model number is.
- google this model number. you will undoubtedly find it for MUCH cheaper online than it is available in the optical store. my store literally sells frames for $200 that can be found online for $60.
- once the frame is shipped to you, you can bring it back to the optical store to get lenses put in.
this way you get to try it on before buying online, plus you can see all the colors it comes in! the catch about buying frames this way is you can’t use insurance for them, so if you have vision insurance i recommend getting a quote in the optical store about how much the frames would cost with your insurance and compare that to the online price. if you (like me) don’t have vision insurance, online is always the better option.
please don’t let luxottica and its competitors scam you. my heart breaks every time i see someone buy a frame for triple or quadruple its real price. i just picked a $309 frame off the wall next to my desk, googled it, and found it for $119 online. that’s almost $200 lining luxottica’s pockets!!!
luxottica owns pearle vision, target optical, lenscrafters, sunglass hut, and the vision insurance company eyemed (the largest vision insurance company). google ‘luxottica monopoly’ and you’ll find countless criticism of how they’ve inflated prices into oblivion. don’t let them or their competitors rip you off.
Jason Todd’s Proudest Moments:
- Removing every single tire from the Batcave
- Making Lex Luthor snort out liquid through his nose on national television
- Getting Bruce to curse, also on national television
- Legally coming back to life and then announcing it via Reddit before Bruce could issue his press release
- Buying out every box of cereal within a five mile radius of Dick’s apartment (every kid in the area got a bunch of cereal for free that week)
- Getting Alfred to admit he is the favorite grandchild (the kitchen incidents that week were entirely irrelevant to that statement)
- Getting multiple members of the Justice League to offer to adopt him or one of his siblings within earshot of Bruce
- Killing the Joker
- Trading out Tim’s coffee for decaf for an entire week without getting caught
- Surprising Damian on his birthday and being the only one to not get injured by doing so
- Replacing every one of Bruce’s shirts with Justice League merch shirts (exclusively in Superman, Green Lantern, and Green Arrow designs)
- Making up a pig Latin version of Klingon just to mess with Tim
- Getting Roy to adopt it as their super secret code language
- Convincing Diana to present it to the Justice League as an alternative operating language (her straight face was impeccable)
- Ra’s offering him a substantial allowance just to not have to deal with him showing up in Nanda Parbat anymore
- Being the only one allowed to make Alfred a birthday cake
Totally Normal Day At Wayne Enterprises
Doors bust open and men crowd in holding guns. One shouts: “Bruce Wayne’s kids! You’re coming with us! If you don’t, well, me and my boys might just get a little trigger happy.”
All the Bat bros just standing there before turning and looking at one another. Tim: “Yeah I have a meeting in ten minutes it’s going to have to be just you guys this time.”
He turns and hands the closest gunman a card. Tim: “I was hoping I could save that for a day off or something but a CEO never sleeps, right? I’m using my ‘Get Out of 1 Kidnapping With No Consequences Card.’ Effective immediately.”
Criminal #1: “You have got-”
Criminal #2: “Woah, woah, woah, man. That things legit. Every top Rogue signed off on those things like 2 years ago. I didn’t think there were any left. I know for sure Riddler discontinued printing them.”
Dick: “I knew I recognized you! David right? You were one of Riddler’s question dudes! Good to see you got out of that but really, I gotta say man, this seems like a downgrade.”
Criminal #2, David, looking embarrassed: “Hey Pretty Boy. I had to leave man, Riddler discontinued giving us "lower level” goons dental and with the amount of times Batman and the Birds show up? It just wasn’t worth it.“
Dick nodding: "Oh yeah totally understandable. Plus didn’t he only give promotions to people who could solve his riddles?”
David now putting his gun down to shake his head in frustration: “Don’t even remind me about the stupid Promotion Riddles. Once, our checks were given to us in little locked boxes that could only be opened if we figured out the sliding puzzle on the top!”
Criminal #1: “Goliath…or David…whatever…could you not…y'know, act like this is fucking brunch!? We’re trying to kidnap these boys! Get your head in the game!.”
Jason, Tim, and Dick snicker. Dick: “Wait Goliath? Is that your new "goon” name because I love it. It’s so witty!“
Criminal #1: "Shut it Calvin Klein! Now hands behind your backs! All of you!”
Jason: “Damn dude. You’re not much of the romantic type are you? The least you could do is take me out to a nice dinner before you decide to get freaky.”
Tim: “You mean everyone except me! I have a card.”
Damian: “Todd, what does a fine dinner have to do with your hands being tied behind your back? I fail to see how the two correlate. And if Drake is not being kidnapped then I most certainly will not be kidnapped either. Today I have to restock the animals food.”
Criminal #1: “String Bean has a….I guess legit??? It’s really legit? Wow…okay….a legit reason to not be kidnapped. And Mini-Me, you need to get food for your pet? You really think that’s more important right now?”
Damian: “Of course. I have to buy not only dog food for two big dogs, but cat food, turkey feed, cow feed, and recently I just found and have adopted an injured bat. Bartholomew will require food and other things.”
Jason: “Gremlinnnnn, you already named it? B said no more pets!”
Damian: “He is not a pet! He is a companion!”
Dick: “Oh actually Dames, can you get some food for Haley? I brought her down so Bruce could meet her.”
David: “Damn….what, do you guys have a zoo somewhere in Wayne Manor?”
Criminal #1: “Not the point Goli-David!…..but yeah….that’s a lot of animals.”
Jason: “Oh hey, I just remembered, I can’t be kidnapped today either, I’m babysitting for Roy tonight. I promised.”
Criminal #1: OH COME ON!! This. Is. Not. A. Negotiation. You guys are being kidnapped!“
Tim: "You mean 'you guys’ but all but Tim right?”
Criminal #1: “……”
Everyone in the building watching or taking part: “……”
Criminal #1 shaking his head and throwing his hands up in the air: “You know what!? No one is getting kidnapped! No amount of money is worth you guys!”
Criminal #1 turning around and making a circular motion with his finger pointed: “Let’s go boys. I need a drink.”
Dick: “Bye David!”
David waving before Criminal #1 grabs his hand and pulls him along: “Don’t respond David!”
Everyone left in the building: “…….”
Jason: “Bets on how long main dude lasts here?”
Wait but tell me more, what kind of math does our godforsaken measuring system make sense for? I'm horribly curious!
oh dear oh boy okay, I’ve tried to explain this to people and had them just get more annoyed, so I’ll give it a shot, but no promises that it will make any sense. Disclaimer also that I don’t really know what I’m talking about, I’ve just done a lot of baking, and ages ago I read something by Plato explaining why the musical scale is how it is, and I’m extrapolating from the two
(wow this turned out way longer than I meant it to because IT’S MIDNIGHT)
the metric system is a base 10 system, like most modern human math, so it is easy to use in the way people tend to do math these days - ie, by sitting down with either a piece of paper or a calculator and doing sums. It’s a good system for a lot of things, especially scientific applications where you need to be VERY precise and don’t want to waste time converting units, and need to do shit like calculus. It’s a highly rational way of doing it…if you are literate.
if you aren’t literate, or are less literate, it’s not a sensible way to construct a measuring system at all. If you measure something and come up with 367.45 cm, that’s nothing. You’re going to forget it, and you can’t easily divide it by anything, there’s no way to go from here
But consider the English Foot. We’ve all been working with a base 12 system without realizing it, and without really utilizing it for what it’s best for, which is easy mental division. This is where people get mad at me, they say math all gets terrible and ugly when you do it in feet, you end up trying to figure out how many sixteenths of an inch 0.135 is, or you end up with repeating decimals, and it all sucks super bad. To this I say yes, it does, because you’re thinking like a modern algebra student, and not like a medieval bricklayer.
The base 12 system of the traditional English foot is fantastic for mental math, because 12 is a highly divisible number. It’s easily divisible into halves, thirds, quarters, and sixths by most people in their heads. The inch is then typically divided into 1/16ths, which *super* suck to deal with on a calculator, but are really quite friendly if you just keep them as fractions like God and the Magna Carta intended. This is the kind of math most artisans need to do. You want supports placed evenly along a wall, to divide a piece of fabric in half, or to double a recipe. Nobody 1.7x’s a recipe. Metric would be great for that, but why would you do that? It wouldn’t be worth the math involved.
And listen, I also use a lot of metric baking recipes. Everything is in grams, you can measure everything the same way, and it’s super accurate. They’re great if you have a digital scale, but before the age of digital scales? Unfathomable. You (a medieval peasant) have a cup you’ve decided is The Cup, and sometimes you put in a half or a third or a quarter of that cup. THAT makes sense. Also, it’s a lot easier to double something that calls for 1 cup of flour than it is when it calls for 136 grams of flour, and this is for me, a person who learned math in the typical modern way and always has a calculator in their pocket. I would have the sourdough recipe I make every week memorized if it wasn’t in fucking grams. I DO have my pie crust recipe memorized. For every cup of flour you put in a third of a cup shortening, one tablespoon of butter, and start with 3 tablespoons of water (and a dash of salt). A double crust pie takes about 3 cups of flour, so that’s one cup shortening. Easy! A third of a cup of shortening in grams is 68.3333333. That’s nothing! That’s garbage!
“Wouldn’t it be more accurate to measure 68.3333333 grams, though?” Sure, but the amount of wet indigence you need to put in any baked thing changes with the fucking weather! That’s why this recipe says “start with 3 tbs water.” There’s no need to be more accurate, and in fact it would make things more difficult.
Okay that turned into a tangent about how to make pie crust, a thing I think everyone should learn because pie crust is delicious, but i hope you get the idea. TLDR sometimes you just want to divide things in thirds and have it not suck ass. The eldritch sigil of measurement conversions is a little less threatening if you realize every step up or down is a factor of thirds or fourths
fuck oh no another half remembered piece of pop science coming at you - the largest number a typical human can hold in their head *without language* is 3. You don’t need numbers to count to three, you don’t need to count to be aware of three, you can just see three things and say “that’s three.” Don’t believe me? That’s the whole basis of Roman numerals. The numbers 1-3 are representational, after that they get more symbolic, and you never end up with more than three of the same symbol in a row. After III comes IV, not IIII, and it’s just that III is much easier on the brain. For the same reason, a lot of English conversions are in factors of 4. There are 4 cups in a quart, and 4 quarts in a gallon, so you’re only dealing with measurements that are easy to hold in your head without counting. You never have to count out 4 cups if you convert. You either need 3 cups or 1 quart. Does that make sense? Anyone who has done Big Cooking should know that if you have to count cups beyond 3 or 4 it becomes very easy to lose track.
Now i’m not saying it’s all logical. It would be great if every step was a factor of 4, but they had to get fancy and throw pints in there. Pints aren’t too bad, that’s a factor of two, but I’ll be the first to admit that it makes no sense for one tablespoon to equal three teaspoons instead of four. But because this is a system that evolved over time instead of being constructed intentionally, you have to cut it some slack. I’m sorry to anyone who decided to read this, I should be in bed, but I actually care a lot about this and I swear it’s not just stockholm syndrome from Being American
I keep thinking of this AU where Luke and Leia always knew there was someone missing from their lives but just couldn’t figure it out, and then when they meet they just instantly know that ah, that’s the person. And like. Also know each other’s names instantly?? Yeah.
GUYS I’VE FOUND A VERY IMPORTANT WEBSITE FOR PEOPLE WHO CAN KNIT WITHOUT INJURING THEMSELVES!!!!
@rannadylin if you’re into that
There is also info about where to buy the scales, a video tutorial for visual learners, and a written tutorial with lots of photos.
She also sells patterns for these:
I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS EXACT TUTORIAL BUT ALL I COULD FIND WAS FOR CROCHET!!
@jumpingjacktrash jesse i feel like you’ve seen this before but i need you to also see it now because i feel like it’s something you’d think is neat
i have, but it’s cool enough to see again. :D
I’ve seen this new trend of girls posting videos like “I hate my boyfriend for bringing all of his stupid boy things into our apartment when we moved in together 🙄” and then pictures of his hot wheels collection or a Halloween skeleton or an extremely cool pirate flag. Give him to me you do not deserve him.
Buckle up, folks. I’ve got a lot to say on this…
I’m not one of those guys who subscribes to the “Man Cave” idea. That theory that once you’re in a relationship, you’re required to forfeit 99% of your own home and be grateful to have one room in which you can be yourself and have your own possessions on display. I think if you’re in a relationship, you have a right to make your home reflect your personality and interests as much your partner does. I’ve run into a couple of instances where a woman thinking a man has no right to his own possessions has not gone over so well and it was hysterical.
I once knew a guy who worked in the telemarketing department of a company I worked at. One Friday night after work, he told me about how he ended up breaking up with his girlfriend.
This guy was like me, very clean and orderly and liked things a certain way but he wasn’t volatile about it or anything. He and his girlfriend decide to have a weekend sleepover at his house, a trial run in his mind for moving in together. She showed up and the red flags sprang up immediately. “Where’s your bag?” he asks. “For a weekend? I don’t need one.” she says. His mind reels. “So you’re not gonna change clothes…or shower…or brush your teeth…?” “No. Why would I do that in just a couple of days?” He tries to be okay about it but then she starts “cooking” and the kitchen looks like a war zone. Then there’s the fact that her B.O. seems to get stronger by the hour.
The last straw comes towards the end of the weekend when she walks around his place, eyes his Elvis Presley memorabilia collection and says “If I lived here, all this Elvis shit would get set out for trash, I’m not wasting space on all that.” When it finally comes time for her to go back home, she says “This was fun! Can’t wait to do it again.” “Yeah, about that…” and he dumped her in his own driveway.
He said if he had to choose between hygiene and an Elvis collection he’s built for years and her, he’s gonna be happier being single, cleaner and having his collectibles around than he would be with her.
Another instance happened when I had a garage sale and one of the things I was selling was a talking football player action figure from the 90s that someone had bought me under the presumption that because I was boy, I was into sports (I was not). The action figure was brand new in the box because that was how little I cared about playing with it despite my mother’s best attempts. A woman shows up, sees the action figure and loses her shit.
“Oh God, I am so sick of seeing these! My husband has the whole set and all I want to do is throw them in the trash!” A guy at the sale overhears this and says “Well, I’m sure your husband has a list of things that he’d like to get rid of that you’re partial to but he doesn’t say anything because that’s the give and take of being in a relationship” She blows him off and says “I should be the one to decide what goes in the house and what he can buy, THAT is how marriage works for ME.” The guy changes his argument. “Maybe on your husband’s list of shit that needs to go, you should be at the top of the list…” Everyone else at the garage sale (including me) was now watching silently and wondering when the throw down would happen…
“What did you say?”, she asks him a bit taken back. “I said if I was him, I wouldn’t take that shit that somehow being married to you means forfeiture of my belongings and personality and substituting it all for your bullshit. I’d sooner throw you out than my action figures.” After picking her jaw up off my driveway, the woman hurumphs and storms back to her car. I high-five the guy for making an excellent point after she leaves.
I have a lot of collectibles myself and am currently in the creative habit of going through my childhood Power Rangers and Pokémon toys and putting the ones I absolutely want to keep in shadow boxes and hanging them on the wall as conversation pieces and selling the rest.
I have Funko Pops. I have lunchboxes. I have special edition magazines and comic books in floater frames on the wall. I have more books than I have time to count or read. I have tub after tub of Halloween and Christmas decorations because that’s my favorite time of year. I would never throw all of this stuff away because I’ve purged plenty already and kept what I wanted to keep. It’s all a reflection of my personality and my story. If someone came into my life and said our life together would mean giving all of this up and doing what he wanted, I would consider that a toxic situation and I would end it before I got in too deep.
Men, gay or straight, can find themselves in toxic, abusive relationships, this is not a phenomenon only experienced by women. It just seems that way because men, especially straight men, rarely speak up about it and mistakenly settle on what they assume is some unchangable default result of being in a relationship. It’s not.
I would never move in with someone and tell them to throw everything out that has been a part of them or spoken to who they are in order to make room for me. I am all about organizing and making a space feel cozy, functional and fun and would go out of my way to make sure we both had space for our things and our personalities and stories. One does not have to overshadow or overpower the other in order to make a relationship between two people work.
So, the next time someone says “It’s me or the Star Wars action figures on that one shelf that aren’t bothering anyone but I hate that that shelf isn’t all about me anyway” say “May The Force not hit you in the ass on the way out” as you show them the door.
My dad broke up with the girlfriend he had when he was 20ish because she said “the motorcycle goes or I go”. And not because she genuinely didn’t like motorcycles, no! Because a friend of hers told her bf to get rid of the bike or lose her, and that guy choose the girl. Dad’s ex saw it as a power play she could pull on my dad as well. He turned her out on the spot.
I used to think guys just didn’t have any interests?? Or hobbies?? Because of all those images of homes where the wife designs everything and there’s basically no touch of the husband there anywhere, and how it was implied that that’s “normal”.
So today I found out there are some people who didn’t realise you could block someone on anon. NOBODY should have to put up with it, it’s bullying. So for those who don’t know, here’s how……..
First of all, go to the ask inbox from your account settings page (not the notifications page. You can do it from there, but it’s more longwinded) Open the ask inbox…….
Tap on the three dots and those options will appear. You can either report, block or delete.
Please reblog this so anyone who keeps getting anon hate knows what to do ☝
Reblogging this to keep spreading the knowledge. Please REBLOG it!! Let’s help those being harassed
Don’t be harassed. Block people who are cruel and nasty towards you.
After blocking they should also still appear in your blocked tumblrs section in settings….
Which means you can still probably know who sent it. Do what you will with that information :)
👌👀🤞CQL AU where the sect leader who becomes obsessed with finding and refining the Yin Iron is Jiang Fengmian.
It helped a little, Nie Huaisang thought, that Jiang Cheng looked about as unhappy to be here as anyone else – though of course it wasn’t the same at all, what with him being the leader of the indoctrination camp and the rest of them hostages against their families.
Attempt the impossible, indeed. If Jiang Fengmian thought that the Yin Metal would be able to keep Nie Huaisang’s brother from getting revenge for this, he had another thing coming.
Jiang Cheng, Nie Huaisang thought, knew that.