Der Winter (1881 / Oil on canvas) - Valentin Ruths
there is a common thread that I’ve noticed among women wherein many of us (rightfully) believe ourselves to be good girlfriends and wives. and this isn’t without reason. entering into a romantic relationship and we naturally mold ourselves to our partners wants and needs. we think, I’m going to throw the shirt they left here in the wash so they don’t have to worry about cleaning it later. I’m going to pick up ingredients at the market for their favorite meal and make it for them. I’m going to leave a glass of water on their nightstand for when they wake up. I’m going to inconvenience myself in this small way in order to make their life marginally easier. these sacrifices hardly even feel like sacrifices. if anything they’re pleasurable: their happiness is your happiness. and yet it’s clear to me that this is a particularly deeply entrenched tendril of socialization. men rarely think like this, rarely reorient their thinking so radically when in a relationship. it presents a dilemma for women. you can either continue being overtly caring and nurturing, even if it’s not reciprocated or even necessarily appreciated, or you can actively become more withholding, which is emotionally taxing in its own right. what can you do. womanhood is synonymous with dissatisfaction and disillusionment
Actively struggling between wanting to sacrifice everything and pay attention only to myself. The secret might be finding a balance between the two. From there we have to teach our daughters not to kill themselves in the process of loving someone. You can die of a large heart.
DARK WATERS (1993 - Dir. Mariano Baino) - ***
High holy weirdness - a Lovecraft x Argento/Soavi homage - evoking everything from ALUCARDA to SUSPIRIA to The SENTINEL to Soavi’s THE CHURCH and even, perhaps MESSIAH OF EVIL. If you love all those films as I do, you’ll be glad you deigned to realize–after all these years of avoiding it–this has NO RELATION to the J-Horror DARK WATERS (about a spirit getting her hair in a high rise single mom tenant’s sink) or the J-Connelly remake - this one is a whole different deal, and the photography is so crisp and clear on the Shudder stream it doesn’t even have to make too much sense or add up to anything to rock. It’s not even Italian - but an English-Ukiraine co-production - either way, and under whatever flag - dig it up.