Research says you should eat (according to DBT class):
Research says you should eat (according to DBT class):
Pretty disheartening, the article continues to say that ppl with bpd on the lower rungs of the economic ladder are more disadvantaged because they can’t afford the therapy/not educated enough to access self help.
While I don’t come from money, I’m grateful to work a job that enables me to afford getting the help I need, plus the time off work. It’s expensive but I can afford it.
From everything I’ve read, this is probably gonna stay with me forever. But I can learn to manage. Just like I’ve learned to manage living with arthritis to the point where I don’t even realise it’s there sometimes. Life will be much harder for me than most, I have both a physical and mental disability. But I am strong. I can do this. I mean, what other choice do I have?
Whoa, this is such an accurate representation..
I’m so in love
I’m crying all the time
It’s what I fear the most
2021 books read:
-finished a wild sheep chase
-finished I hate you don’t leave me
-finished Anna Karenina
-the Happiness Advantage
-Women in Love
-Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine
-started Anna Karenina
-started: a wild sheep chase, fear and trembling
she thinks that patterns are a result of
I AM SO DEPRESSED RIGHTNOW holy shit
I know that a lot of us with BPD- and other disorders such as anxiety, DPD, paranoia etc- can get really worried when those we care about don’t reply- or anyone! We worry they hate us, are angry, are leaving us, are hurt. So, here’s a list of possible reasons why they may not be replying that aren’t those!
- They’re asleep. This is kinda subjective to the time they’re in, but this included naps! Sometimes people fall asleep suddenly, or fall asleep before your reply
- They’re busy. They made need to focus on something, or not be allowed on their phone. Or, they want to save their reply to you for when they can put their full attention on you and give a proper reply
- They’re unsure how to reply yet. sometimes people need time to think of how to reply, and want to give a proper one
- They don’t feel like talking to anyone right now. It’s not that they don’t wanna talk to you specifically- they may just be socially drained or want to focus on themselves!
- They’re not in a mental place where they can reply to you. This includes perhaps they’re dissociating, or can’t think straight to reply
- Their phone is dead. Plain and simple
- Their wifi dropped. Same again
- They’re taking pleasure time. Video games, reading anything. Sometimes people need time to relax- it doesn’t mean that they don’t enjoy talking to you, they just wanna fully immerse themselves in their activity.
- They’re interacting with someone/in a situation where it’s not appropriate to use their phone. Maybe at dinner, church, a lesson, anything
- They suddenly have to deal with something urgent.
- They forgot. I know this one is scary/hurts- but it doesn’t mean you’re not important to them! Maybe they saw your message whilst busy, thought they need to reply later, then forgot. Some people also have memory issues that mean they forget to reply to things.
- They’re not logged into what you talk in. This goes esp for facebook/tumblr
- They havn’t got your message. This can be for lots of reasons! Bad connection, app is broken, phone is slow, anything like that
- every character’s first line should be an introduction to who they are as a person
- even if you only wrote one sentence on a really bad day, that’s still one sentence more than you had yesterday
- exercise restraint when using swear words and extra punctuation in order for them to pack a punch when you do use them
- if your characters have to kiss to show they’re in love, then they’re not in love
- make every scene interesting (or make every scene your favorite scene), otherwise your readers will be just as bored as you
- if you’re stuck on a scene, delete the last line you wrote and go in a different direction, or leave in brackets as placeholders
- don’t compare your first draft to published books that could be anywhere from 3rd to 103rd drafts
- i promise you the story you want to tell can fit into 100k words or less
- sometimes the book isn’t working because it’s not ready to be written or you’re not ready to write it yet; let it marinate for a bit so the idea can develop as you become a better writer
- a story written in chronological order takes a lot more discipline and is usually easier to understand than a story written with flashbacks
How the the COVID-19 pandemic changed the world in one week
The cracks are starting to show
Here is the starting line:
Quit all of your social-media accounts except for your favorite one. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, you can visit your favorite social media for 15 minutes total. Set a timer. If you can’t stick to those limits, you have to quit that account, too.
When you wake up in the morning, exercise for 30 minutes.
Buy or check out two books every week and read them by the end of the week. Squeeze these books into the time you used to spend on social media. If you want to get audiobooks and listen while you exercise, you can do that, but get the other book in print.
Write down ten words to describe yourself. Then write down one reason each trait might exist in you, given your past. At the bottom of the page, write, “I will accept you as you are.” Tape this to the wall. Do this every Monday, until your wall is full. Notice how the words you use to describe yourself start to change for the better. You need to start taking pride in who you are. That includes taking pride in where you’ve been, and how you’ve adapted in ways you never give yourself credit for.
During the day, when you’re tempted to look at social media, when you’re tempted to go on Tinder, when you’re tempted to do something that will hurt you, when you’re thinking in circles, when you’re trying to DECIDE something, stop. Say to yourself, “My first job is to slow down, to be still. My first job is to enjoy this day. My first job is to accept myself and feel my feelings.” Make a vow not to abandon yourself, the way you did with the sleazy guy and the boyfriends of friends. You don’t have to manage your father. You deserve better. Make that your mantra. You deserve better from yourself. You deserve protection from these things that hurt you. I know you don’t think you do. That’s your disordered mind talking.
You are precious, Directionless. When you slow down, you will feel that in your bones. You will feel disgusting and horrible, but slowly you’ll see that it’s beautiful, this moment of knowing how sick you are. You will find your will to go on in spite of how horrible it all is, how horrible you are. You will find your direction. Stop thinking about it and instead, submerge yourself in other people’s work: their art, their books, their lives. Your brilliance is waiting for you to slow down. Your path is waiting for you, patiently. You have to learn to trust yourself. You have to search for your broken, scared self. Not someone else’s idea of you. Not someone else’s approval. Your broken, scared self is the only self that can lead you forward from here.
I know it sounds impossible. I want you to know that I hear you clearly. You want me to know that everything is fucked, that YOU are fucked. I believe you and I know it hurts. I know it’s worse than anyone else can see. I know how it feels to live there.
I also know that you’re ready to live somewhere else now. You’re ready to face the truth. You’re ready to be who you are, even when no one is there to approve of you or give you love or tell you you’re great. You’re going to give yourself what you need now, and it’s going to feel a million times more satisfying than anything else you’ve ever done.
I’m alone now, I can do this
how do I do this?
Fuck, I’m sad now!
This solo trip to Calgary - even though I’m meeting up with friends I still feel alone. It’s a good learning experience for making it on my own, but how to manage the loneliness?
The crushing sadness is returning. I need to escape this. Drug use is at a high
Clinging to people when I clearly need space.
Fear of being alone rising
Finally got around to doing my diary card for the first time in like a month. Realised some differences from a month ago: anger is almost nonexistent which is a 360 for me and guilt has been consistently high.
I’ve really been slipping this week. I think ever since Tuesday - dealing with the after effects of binging on coke and wine, I haven’t been the same. I haven’t been taking my meds, I’ve been in a bad mood, eating like shit and not taking care of myself and what needs to get done. I would like to change this. It’s weird because just on Wednesday my therapist told me I look good and I told her I was happy but Thursday was deeply depressing. I hope getting back on track with my meds will help.
You’re healing every time you
- get out of bed because there’s something you’re excited about.
- don’t think about people who left.
- clean the clutter in the room and dishes in your sink.
- smile at yourself and random people.
- do something kind and out of the blue to make someone happy.
- work out or meet with friends even though you have no energy to.
- calm yourself down when your thoughts race.
- remember to drink water.
- don’t dwell on things you can’t control.
- do things good for yourself, even though you have no motivation.
- tell yourself that you’re growing from this, and you won’t feel like this forever.
Unfortunately, BPD can also have a major impact on your physical health. BPD is associated with a variety of conditions, including chronic pain disorders such as fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome, arthritis, obesity, diabetes, and other serious health problems. BPD is also associated with less-than-healthy lifestyle choices such as smoking, alcohol use, and lack of regular exercise.
When the routine bites hard
And ambitions are low
And the resentment rides high
But emotions wont grow
And were changing our ways,
Taking different roads
Then love, love will tear us apart again
Why is the bedroom so cold
Turned away on your side?
Is my timing that flawed,
Our respect run so dry?
Yet theres still this appeal
That weve kept through our lives
Love, love will tear us apart again
Do you cry out in your sleep
All my failings expose?
Get a taste in my mouth
As desperation takes hold
Is it something so good
Just cant function no more?
When love, love will tear us apart again
I think it’s such a bpd thing to have two therapists who don’t know about each other lmao. Splitting on therapists is a full time job 😂
This is crazy accurate and consequently so heartbreaking. Jen brought up to me how I would call her in tears and distress about Ryan and the next time we spoke it was like it never happened. I pushed away so many warning signs that it wasn’t working. But am I doomed to continue this pattern forever? So far every relationship I’ve had has followed this path, but maybe thats because I never choose an emotionally stable man.
I’m in good company, in my own company
- If you are dating a borderline (from a borderline)
- How to Help a Friend with BPD
- Delusions of Abandonment
- If you know and love someone with BPD
- BPD misconceptions
- How can I support someone with BPD?
- Living and Loving Someone with BPD
- Some BPD Terminology
- Texting Hack for Borderlines
- What to Expect From a Loved One With BPD
- Tips for Loved Ones of People With BPD
- How to Care For Your Loved Ones with BPD
- Object Permanence in BPD
- Additional Resources