tealesbian :

the rain: makes that soft rain sound

me immediately:

zsnes :

snarthurt :

frogmunist :

I’m sure this has been asked before but would vampires drink period blood, and more importantly would the clumps just be a bonus for them?

ever had bubble tea?

im going to hurt all of you im going to hit both of you with a heavy rock

savethebeesbby :

bdsm stands for

Bees
Do
So
Much for the environment

targuzzler :

zsnes :

alexschiesser :

artists fuck better because we turn sex into art, masterpieces, mattresses become canvases where we can paint our love to someone with bodies.

its like, impossible to come up with anything funnier than the experience of seeing this post

pharoahs fuck better because they ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh put the pussy in a scarmophogoghs

super-affection :

5latt :

fairy-gawd-muva :

dont-touch-my-fandoms :

cartiercocaine :

wнαт тнe ғυcĸ ιѕ тнιѕ?

Elmo’s voice saying “I’ll fuck u up” is the best and worst thing ever

YO I SWEAR THIS SHIT IS TOO FUNNY😭🤣

blue-starr-in-the-sky-port :

blackness-by-your-side :

Even the idea that there is a video where an American man rape a kid makes me sick. Ashton Kutcher is doing a great job by using his power and privilege to raise awareness about human trafficking. Every parent dreams of the bright, happy and SAFE future to his/her child. This guy tries to change this country, this world into a better one. This Hollywood celebrity woke up and tried to draw the government’s attention to this very crucial problem of child trafficking.

Honestly God bless Ashton Kutcher and anybody else who is actively engaged in the fight against child trafficking. People telling him it’s “not his place” can stick it up their ass, this is a real problem and he’s actually doing something about it, and I applaud him wholeheartedly.

monobeartheater:

palmsizedmoth:

ask-fire-emblem-olivia:

roavaswardrobe:

THAT IS EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT I WAS EXPECTING

?????????????????????????????????????????

?????????????????????????????????????????

there is literally no bigger plot twist than seeing the image and then clicking the audio

veggiedaddy :

crow: doing a silly little walk through the grass

me, in tears: fucking superb you funky little death omen

golden-girl-daisy :

If there’s something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call?

Ghostpuppers!

recentgooglesearches :

was sloppy joe a real man

super-affection :

henstomper :

hey you wanna come over to my house after school? we can stand directly across from eachother and do this

and maybe even… this…?

thejusticethatissocial :

flesh flesh flesh flesh flesh flesh flESH FLESH FLESH FLESHFLESHFLESH

namek:

we are god’s abandoned animal crossing town

astrodickology :

No offense but the way men talk to women sometimes is so……..yikes…….

serotnin :

me after being diagnosed w sleepy bitch disease

coveverde :

marymacdonald :

religious affiliation:  “Cool Girl” speech, Gone Girl (2014)

Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl. Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men – friends, coworkers, strangers – giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I’d want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much – no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version – maybe he’s a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he’s a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain. (How do you know you’re not Cool Girl? Because he says things like: “I like strong women.” If he says that to you, he will at some point fuck someone else. Because “I like strong women” is code for “I hate strong women.”)

dietcrackcocaine :

me: where’s the toilet?

New Yorker: take a left up over at 6th and catch the bus between 12th and 32nd. there you’ll see a hotdog cart at the corner of 53rd…you gotta go on straight past to 47th. between 8th and 34th there’s a little place, ask for Mikey, tell him I sent you an he’ll let you in aight

me: thanks. I’ll just piss in the street

lesbiangang :

lesbiangang :

I’m coining generation Nobody Knows for people born in 1995-2000

generation Nobody Knows has the qualities of both Millennials and Gen Z. We are broke and miserable like Millenials and frothing at the mouth and out for blood like Gen Z. 

tahanialjemil :

fool me once,,,,,,, fool me twice,,,, fool me as many times as you want, my first name is dumbass

proselesbian :

mentally I am always lying in a field of flowers

ammit420:

no condoms i jus superglue my dick shut #nutfortress

snorlaxatives :

pixelguy979 :

snorlaxatives :

i can’t believe there are people that are still in high school like… it’s literally 2018 how have you not grown up yet damn

Are you perhaps some sort of idiot?

somethingunlikeanythingelse :

kaijuno :

“What’s your spirit animal?” We’re white Rebecca we don’t have spirit animals ask me what my fursona is like you meant to ask u fucking coward

This is the funniest thing ive ever seen.

professorevilbadpaingiver :

emma-velocirapity :

heckin-heck-im-bi :

kohios :

geminemi :

your-homophobia-is-showing :

homo-nuerotic :

sapphicdebates :

vorixcia-dix :

khveteran013 :

hummingbirdbandit :

hello-kitty-senpai :

straight76ed :

cisnowflake :

So I looked up what this all means and I’m really not okay anymore.

“The official acronym is now LGBTQQICAPF2K+ according to the magazine The Gay UK. That stands for “Lesbian,” “Gay,” “Bisexual,” “Transgender,” “Queer,” “Questioning,” “Intersex,” “Curious,” “Asexual,” “Agender,” “Ally,” “Pansexual,” “Polysexual,” “Friends and family,” “Two-spirit” and “Kink.””

what the fuck.

please understand these people dont speak for us and this is not cannon

PLEASE UNDERSTAND THESE PEOPLE DO NOT SPEAK FOR US AND THIS IS NOT CANON

PLEASE UNDERSTAND THESE PEOPLE DO NOT SPEAK FOR US AND THIS IS NOT CANON

PLEASE UNDERSTAND THESE PEOPLE DO NOT SPEAK FOR US AND THIS IS NOT CANON

“But the official-”

THERE IS NO OFFICIAL. IT’S A COMMUNITY, NOT AN ORGANIZATION

friends and family???

FRIENDS AND FAMILY

KINK.

FRIENDS AND FAMILY????!!!???

GTFO

Guys just found out my dad came out to me as family cant believe hes lgbt

My new orientation is kink

imsoofuckingsad :

in a threesome with anxiety and depression

yourmajestyyy :

My name is Junie B. Jones and the B stands for BACK ON MY BULLSHIT

vangoghoes :

i really wish i could get a refund for all the love i’ve wasted on people like! repay my emotional labour your bill is in the mail

babyspicegf :

*gets in an uber* hi yeah i know i said i wanted to go somewhere but im actually just going through a hard time rn can you put on some fleetwood mac and take me through a carwash