when i get my paycheck and its $3 more than usual
current acpc strategy:
-hoard all the money
-never make any furniture
-buy only clothes because miitomo is dead and this is the only active alternative
-never pay the birds the 10k i owe
-take away everything at campsite and force the only minion i have to play the tambourine endlessly in a barren wasteland with no furniture or decoration whatsoever
*cracks neck* my time has come
Okay, first? Pay off all your debts. Take out a small loan and pay it off right away.
Buy several hundred vacant houses. Schedule repairs for said houses with reputable contractors and make sizable down payments in advance. Get everything in writing and hang onto those deeds.
Buy a large open parcel of land that is being auctioned for development. And when I say large, I mean LARGE.
Sink millions into paying off people’s Kickstarters / college loans / medical bills / mortgages, and give generously charity organizations. That alone will carry off a lot of money.
Once you’ve got things down to a reasonable level, say $1m, buy yourself a house, furnishings, appliances, and a dependable car. Pay everything off so that you own it free and clear. Purchase about $200k worth of something easy to liquidate (i.e. gold, gems, bonds, stocks). Put the rest onto prepaid credit cards and wait for Monday to roll around.
NOW THE FUN BEGINS.
You now have commendable credit and a shining public reputation.
Fix up and flip those houses, sell them for fair market value or below to families who need them, or create non-profit homeless shelters. (After all, it’s not like you need to “make” money, this is all running on the proceeds from the property sales.)
Sell the parcel of land to developers, or donate it to public works as a park or open space. Have them name it after you.
Retire to your fully furnished home. Liquidate your extra assets, or leave them to appreciate in value for a later date. Make Christmas epic with those gift cards. Keep the extra money in the bank and keep your day job.
And don’t worry about taxes when return time rolls around, because you’ll be able to write off several millions’ worth of charitable donations.
This is someone who paid attention in finance class.
This image needs to be utilized on this website more often
It’s to remind weird ass nerds that they’re weird ass nerds and that this is the exact reaction they’d get for some of the weird ass nerd shit they say if they said it in person