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  • gallusrostromegalus

    @gallusrostromegalus

    Chickens Of Unusual Size

    48170 Posts

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  • gallusrostromegalus
    27.01.2021 - 3 minutes ago

    cervinesatyr">ultramarineblues:

    cervinesatyr :

    A family can be a snotty elf, a swarm of bees, and an alcoholic paladin

    You chose THE BEES

    I love out-of context drama from someone else’s TTRPG game.

    Also every party can, should, must and WILL have a PC who is a Swarm of Bees.

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  • gallusrostromegalus
    27.01.2021 - 55 minutes ago

    prokopetz :

    Unrealistic polymath genius: has six PhDs.

    Realistic polymath genius: just has the one set of degrees, but their bachelor’s, their master’s, and their doctorate are each in a different field, and they’d be happy to explain – at great length – how the three relate to one another.

    @cellarspider It’s you.

    #The most FASCINATING academic career ive ever heard #and I know some weird motherfuckers
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  • gallusrostromegalus
    27.01.2021 - 55 minutes ago

    thepuppyclub :

    thepuppyclub :

    I agree with the idea that most things boil down to “can you have compassion for others”, but I’d be more inclined to use: “can you treat others with humanity and dignity, and put their rights at the center of your convictions, even if you have nothing in common with them, and even if you cannot emotionally relate to every tragedy in the world.”

    And sometimes, you all need to understand that you don’t have the full context to understand a situation in its full complexities and that you probably never will, which means that your public commentary may be unnecessary and even tactless. 

    #Life Skills Dot Jaypeg
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  • gallusrostromegalus
    27.01.2021 - 1 hour ago

    incendavery :

    romeo and juliet (act one, scene five) but gay and at the skatepark

    #Oh HELL YEAH #love me shoe Shaked Speares
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  • gallusrostromegalus
    27.01.2021 - 5 hours ago

    honoratacarnage">ordinaryredtail:

    honoratacarnage :

    As a Latine the whole Mothman story is SO funny because there’s literally a local bird that fits 100% mothman’s description

    Meet the Mocho-Diabo! (Stygian Owl)

    “Oh” you say “That’s just a black owl what about it? It’s missing a lot of features, like red eyes, ominous pose and-”

    Don’t tey to deny it, this is Mothman! A South American owl!

    “but it’s South American! It couldn’t occur in West Virginia!”

    So you think supernatural forces are more believable than actual bird trafficking?

    Great news op! There’s an owl that actually lives in West Virginia that looks almost identical.

    Enjoy the long eared owl and his moth-like plumicorns.

    I have great news about one of the most common owls in North America:

    The great-horned owl is found in pretty much all of the continental US (including Alaska), is Gotdam Humongous, has lil antennae-like Plumicorns (which, aside- New Favorite Word) and it’s eyes ALSO shine Ominously Blood-Red at night:

    MOTH-BUT-REALLY-OWL MEN FOR EVERYONE!!

    If you wanted another Owl with Plumicorns and Ominous Energies, might I reccomend the Western Screech Owl, which is Tiny, Absolutely Full Of Rage, sounds like someone getting thier junk caught in a chainsaw, and has the best case of Resting Bitch Face I’ve ever seen on a Bird:

    Oh, and:

    It does the Eye Thing too!

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  • gallusrostromegalus
    26.01.2021 - 9 hours ago

    Puppy Update!

    So, turns out one of my Iowa cousins had a baby back in September and his name is “Finn” because his parents are enormous statr wars nerds. The cousins think a dog with the same name as thier son is funny, but the older Iowa relatives are extremely grumpy about us “copying” the name and have been blowing up my and my mom’s facebook about it, so Puppy is now named “Herschel” which actually was our original name choice.


    small brown and white corgi in the lap of a man in a car, wearing a light blue harness and looking Concerned (TM)

    Behold: a pubby.

    First vet checkup went well, if a bit long because everyone had to hold the puppy for Therapy Reasons. He’ll be able to meet my parent’s dog, Arwen, in about a month, which is also when they both will have been vaccinated and developed antibodies, so that will be cool.

    Today Herschel experienced his first snow, and he likes it very much:


    the same small Brown and white corgi, now in about 2 inches of snow, with some of it on his nose

    He and Charlie want to play with each other very much, but Charlie is used to playing with dogs twice his size and with terrible manners, so he… Kind of kicked Herschel in the face a few times play-bowing at him. He’s figured out to play-bow a few feet back now, but Herschel is still very “oh no he’s huge” and hides behind my feet. They’ll get there.


    a much larger black dog, play-bowing enthusiastically, to little effect.

    Pictured: a very good boy, trying his best.

    #dogs#charleston chew #herschel the Hanukkah goblin #we decided to get him back then #he is effectively my husband's very late Hanukkah present
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  • gallusrostromegalus
    26.01.2021 - 1 day ago
    Question:

    Hey uh I see see your comment on writing about the aesthetic strategies of 40k vs Ikea... So if you start a crowdfunding campaign for $2k, would you actually write it? Asking for a friend


    Answer:

    I gotta look up the Rolling stone rules of admission first to see if I can publish it

    But I already wrote the thing so I’ll edit it when it’s not 1AM so you can read it for free then because I aspire to be a Proletariat Hero and if it starts with bilking Rolling Stone by offering my Weird Takes For Free, so be it.

    #moonlit-delusion
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  • gallusrostromegalus
    26.01.2021 - 1 day ago

    la-laborista-republiko:

    itsforexposure">la-laborista-republiko:

    la-laborista-republiko:

    itsforexposure :

    As a writer, I find this utterly reprehensible. I am spiritually disgusted.

    As a grifter, I think this is incredibly fucking hilarious

    No, actually it’s just hilarious. Rolling Stone–fucking Rolling Stone–is flaunting Yog’s Law and becoming just blatantly, openly predatory, but also they’re preying on people who tbh need to be robbed.

    This is predatory but it’s also Dumb As Shit because I’m an internet nobody but I’m 99% sure I could crowdfund two grand to put something atrocious and incomprehensible in Rolling Stone.

    Yeah, yeah, it’s invitation-only but let’s be real, if they’re doing this, it’s easier to get on the invite list than it is to be invited to a High School Anime Club.

    #let's crowdfund me writing a pretentious wank about how Warhammer40K and IKEA employ the same aesthetic strategies #or some of my Really Wierd star wars fanfic
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  • gallusrostromegalus
    26.01.2021 - 1 day ago

    after a collision with a car, this red-tailed hawk was brought to the chintimini wildlife center">todaysbird:

    after a collision with a car, this red-tailed hawk was brought to the chintimini wildlife center . the bird wasn’t abnormal in appearance, other than its feet- it has an extra toe on each foot. the ‘polydactyl’ mutation, where extra toes or sometimes an ‘extra foot’ are developed, is common in cats but can sometimes be found on birds, mainly chickens.

    Evolution: hey you know what this flying terror needs? More knives. Let’s see how he does.

    Evolution: …

    Evolution: ok, except for the car thing, pretty good! Maybe they need more sensory organs…

    Evolutionary assistant: hey, remember how we kept going “more knives” then “more senses” with those worms? We ended up with sharks.

    Evolution: AND THEY SLAPPED, WHAT’S YOUR POINT.

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  • gallusrostromegalus
    26.01.2021 - 1 day ago

    agentduckorico:

    silversable15:

    Recently acquired a new assistant! Meet the respectable Dr. Wom

    @chaotic-carnifex">ysabelmystic:

    agentduckorico:

    silversable15:

    Recently acquired a new assistant! Meet the respectable Dr. Wom

    @chaotic-carnifex

    Worm off the string. In what plagues will he assist?

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  • gallusrostromegalus
    25.01.2021 - 1 day ago

    shiftythrifting :

    theinfamousdoctorf :

    shiftythrifting :

    image
    image

    I was very tempted to buy this lectern, but I have no space for it and I’m an atheist ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    I’ve always wanted something like this for my GIANT full color Far Side hardback volumes. The books weight at least 8lb each.

    must remain open on the cow tools page

    YOOOO if you ever see a pulpit for sale GET IT. Mom found one at goodwill a few years ago and it’s been:

    • A beloved theater prop
    • A standing desk
    • A bookshelf for comics, like above. This is a Far Side house too lol
    • A tantrum hole
    • A checkout table at a convention booth (makes your booth very memorable, drives up sales)
    • A cat bed/bird viewing platform
    • A travelling teaching lectern (it’s got little caster wheels and a folding door so it can haul all mom’s sewing stuff and let people gather around the sewing machine when she’s teaching class)
    • I think it’s currently serving as a tea/coffee bar in my parent’s basement

    Like it’s genuinely funny to have one around but it’s a really versatile piece of furniture and they’re typically pretty sturdy.

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  • memeengine:Scott McCloud’s incomparable “Understanding Comics”.
I swear you can open this book to any page and it’s amazing.
(ps it’s actually a digital image of a printed copy of a drawing of a painting of a pipe)


Highly recommend scott mccloud’s “understanding comics” as an introduction to  all forms of visual media, but especially educational work like scientific illustration because the man does have a handle on some of the funkier stuff that happens when a viewer tries to interpret an image.Also reccomended: james gurney’s “light and color”.  The man did Dinotopia he knows what the fuck he’s talking about.
    gallusrostromegalus
    25.01.2021 - 1 day ago

    memeengine :

    Scott McCloud’s incomparable “Understanding Comics”.

    I swear you can open this book to any page and it’s amazing.

    (ps it’s actually a digital image of a printed copy of a drawing of a painting of a pipe)

    Highly recommend scott mccloud’s “understanding comics” as an introduction to all forms of visual media, but especially educational work like scientific illustration because the man does have a handle on some of the funkier stuff that happens when a viewer tries to interpret an image.

    Also reccomended: james gurney’s “light and color”. The man did Dinotopia he knows what the fuck he’s talking about.

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  • yutani-corporation:ラマ・ラプターズ #ah #llamas that finally.match thier vibes
    gallusrostromegalus
    25.01.2021 - 1 day ago

    yutani-corporation :

    ラマ・ラプターズ

    #ah #llamas that finally.match thier vibes
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  • gallusrostromegalus
    25.01.2021 - 1 day ago

    destroyingitself :

    despazito :

    vaporwavesimulator :

    vaporwavesimulator :

    what if we were both vultures from different species and we’re sitting in the rain together

    that’s an adult and juvenile king vulture but may I offer pictures of a black vulture gently preening a crested caracara

    what if we were this

    Crested Caracaras are apparently known to join Black Vulture flocks and benefit from their ability to locate food by smell. The Black Vultures reciprocally benefit from the Crested Caracara’s ability to vocalize and alert to danger, which the black vultures lack. That’s why they’re preening each other. :) (x)

    Wholesome Carrion Friends :)

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  • gallusrostromegalus
    25.01.2021 - 1 day ago

    gossip-girl-of-middle-earth :

    littlesaintmick :

    uk-trash-queen :

    araceil :

    penny-anna :

    artekka :

    penny-anna :

    penny-anna :

    penny-anna :

    quest to Erebor day 18. the dwarves get bored and decide to have a ‘nicest beard’ contest. as the only non-bearded party member they decide Bilbo has to be the judge as he’s the only one able to be impartial.

    unbeknownst to them Bilbo judges the Hobbiton pie-making contest AND best garden contest AND pumpkin growing contest every year. he spends 3 hours judging all their beards on various metrics including length, softness and fanciness. by the time he declares Balin the winner they’re all kind of tired of it.

    Balin subsequently brings up his ‘objectively nicest beard’ at every opportunity tho.

    when ppl outside the party question him on it he’s like ‘Mr Baggins said mine was the nicest and he judges the Hobbit best garden contest EVERY YEAR’. 

    no-one outside the party knows what the Hobbiton best garden contest is so they assume it’s something very important & that Mr Baggins must be someone important & influential in his own country, to be able to make those sorts of judgements, and are suitably impressed.

    I mean, these are hobbits. the annual Best Garden Contest IS something Very Important!

    somebody asks Bilbo about it and he answers, truthfully, that it’s one of the most important events of the Hobbiton social calendar and they’re like ah… that does sound important

    The best garden contest is perhaps the most ruthless, cut-throat, and vicious contest in hobbitish culture. Families have been fractured, blood-feuds sworn, and casseroles thrown out to feed the pigs instead of eaten. It is Very Serious Business and Big Folk may sigh and shake their heads, but when it comes to gardening, it has been known for a Hobbit to take a tea-kettle and beat a goblin to death with it for daring uproot their award winning roses (that said Hobbit might have been Bilbo’s younges aunt, a Brandybuck now by marriage, was completely beside the point). You do not mess with the Gardening Contest, and more importantly, you don’t get caught messing with the contest either.

    This is why Sam was able to walk all the way to Mordor with Frodo. Frodo may be the Ring Bearer ™ but Samwise Gamgee has won The Best Garden Competition 3 times in a row and Sauron himself is nowhere near as tough as that

    can i just say that ‘hobbits are the most ridiculously competitive and cut-throat race of middle earth’ is probably my favorite thing ever

    If you’ve ever lived in a small farming community, you know this is completely accurate.

    I’ve seen old women draw blood over whose patchwork quilt deserved to be in the raffle draw.

    Farmcore people be built different, my bros.

    #i got called a Godless Whore at age 17 for winning a quilt in a raffle despite being the worst quilter in the guild #and ive watched women attempt to gouge each other's eyes out for the last Amish Paste #all things considered bilbo probably thought the beard contest quite mild and extremely civilized #hell they could have disemboweled someone and he still would have thought that #Belladonna Took got her name from both her famed beauty AND poisoning her Gardening Rivals
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  • gallusrostromegalus
    25.01.2021 - 2 days ago

    theshitpostcalligrapher :

    wait what if i made a necrobeemicon book holster for my belt like a goddamn dnd character’s arcane focus 

    it could hang off of my one ring belt chatelaine style 

    I mean I feel like it needs to be chained up and to your person so 

    1. the undeserving are not forced to look upon it’s horror but more importantly

    2. you could use it like a flail and beat other, deserving people with it for both bludgeoning AND psychic damage!

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  • gallusrostromegalus
    25.01.2021 - 2 days ago

    marina-magnolia:

    xenosagaepisodeone">mia7437:

    marina-magnolia:

    xenosagaepisodeone :

    Submerging an Italian in olive oil like you would an Evangelion pilot in LCL so they can operate at maximum psychological capacity

    this is what my bellisima mama did to me when i was but a six year old little bambine and now im so unbelievably fucked up

    achilles….

    “So what do you do for fun?”

    “Well, I like to read particularly unhinged online posts to my housemates trapped inside with me because of the plauge to give them sanity damage.”

    “Yeah I don’t think we can release you into the public again.”

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  • gallusrostromegalus
    25.01.2021 - 2 days ago

    jockgirlfriend">bunjywunjy:

    jockgirlfriend :

    obsessed with this actually

    RIDE ‘EM CRAWBOY

    #VIDEO#FOR MOM
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  • gallusrostromegalus
    25.01.2021 - 2 days ago

    jumpingjacktrash :

    botanyshitposts :

    honestly really digging the new trend on this site to say ‘new [organism] dropped’ in response to any announcement of a new species. it helps spread the word of new-to-science organisms, yeah, but also it’s just really, really funny

    also that’s how it legit feels when you learn about a newly discovered species

    like yeah i know it was there before but from my perspective science just rang the doorbell and i’m like PAKKIGE???

    NEW FRÖGG?????

    FUCKING wHA ÅLE??

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  • phana-banana:I wish The Great Gatsby a very pleasant public domain.
    gallusrostromegalus
    24.01.2021 - 2 days ago

    phana-banana :

    I wish The Great Gatsby a very pleasant public domain.

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  • teenytinydinosaurfarm:BLUE PARTRIDGE BRAHMA CHICKENS - ©brandkarsskogen.se #these are some beautifully texture borbs
    gallusrostromegalus
    24.01.2021 - 3 days ago

    teenytinydinosaurfarm :

    BLUE PARTRIDGE BRAHMA CHICKENS - ©brandkarsskogen.se

    #these are some beautifully texture borbs
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  • gallusrostromegalus
    24.01.2021 - 3 days ago

    gallusrostromegalus :

    So after the election, husbeast and I agreed that since we have been in quarantine since 2019 and didn’t kill anyone no matter how annoying they were, and it was charlie’s 5th birthday on 1/20, we decided to get a second dog.

    Meet Finnley:

    Now I am all about shelter dogs, but a second dog had to meet a few requirements:

    1. Be good with other dogs
    2. Be good with cats
    3. Weigh less than 35lbs because I inherited Shitty Joints Disease from Mom

    One tiny silver lining of the pandemic is that every shelter within 100mi is nearly empty, they’re literally down to the dogs with behavior issues and special health needs, so all three requirements meant no matches.

    So we found a highly recommend breeder near us, and now we have an eight-week old potato. Charlie is very excited about having another dog around but isn’t quite sure how to play with a dog this small, and mochi has not left the kitchen, watching him constantly, which I’m taking to be a good sign. Finnley seems mostly confused about where he is and what he’s supposed to be doing, but is feeling chill enough to eat and take naps.

    Important Update:


    LITTLE BLACK EYEBROWS

    Also we figured out we were doing potty training backwards from what he’s used to but I think we got it now.

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  • gallusrostromegalus
    23.01.2021 - 3 days ago

    So after the election, husbeast and I agreed that since we have been in quarantine since 2019 and didn’t kill anyone no matter how annoying they were, and it was charlie’s 5th birthday on 1/20, we decided to get a second dog.

    Meet Finnley:

    Now I am all about shelter dogs, but a second dog had to meet a few requirements:

    1. Be good with other dogs
    2. Be good with cats
    3. Weigh less than 35lbs because I inherited Shitty Joints Disease from Mom

    One tiny silver lining of the pandemic is that every shelter within 100mi is nearly empty, they’re literally down to the dogs with behavior issues and special health needs, so all three requirements meant no matches.

    So we found a highly recommend breeder near us, and now we have an eight-week old potato. Charlie is very excited about having another dog around but isn’t quite sure how to play with a dog this small, and mochi has not left the kitchen, watching him constantly, which I’m taking to be a good sign. Finnley seems mostly confused about where he is and what he’s supposed to be doing, but is feeling chill enough to eat and take naps.

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  • gallusrostromegalus
    23.01.2021 - 3 days ago

    milfnickparker :

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  • gallusrostromegalus
    23.01.2021 - 3 days ago

    cynological:

    gunfireoverphone">pinkmanthedog:

    cynological:

    gunfireoverphone :

    the comment:

    the post the group is losing their shit over:

    I mean I’m pretty sure the Russians? Did something similar and found that they sucked as working dogs.

    I DO NOT GET the obsession with wanting wild canids for working dog crosses. You literally have an animal that was bred for thousands of years to do what you want and you think it will be MORE biddable by adding… the fucking opposite of that?

    “I need someone to watch my children!”

    “Okay, this kindly grandmother ran a daycare for twenty years, is bilingual, and also has a masters in early childhood education.”

    “WOw she doesn’t sound badass at all, I have a much better idea!”

    #Dogs#NO #coyote hybrids are already terrible but adding dutch shepherd to a line is like seasoning a soup stock with a tablespoon of Meth
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  • gallusrostromegalus
    23.01.2021 - 4 days ago

    whitefangthefightingwolf :

    just-shower-thoughts :

    Animals don’t understand the concept of an accident. Your dog thinks you got out of the bed in the middle of the night just to kick him in the head.

    This is a lie animals DO understand the concept of accidents especially social animals which is essentially all domestic animals. For example when dogs play-fight they often accidentally play too rough. When this happens the hurt dog will yelp! Both dogs stop playing, and the offending dog often performs submissive gestures (rolling over, licking, nuzzling softly) to show that they are sorry and they didn’t mean to be aggressive, and they were not trying to show dominance. After a few moments they’ll start playing again! So, if you accidentally step on your dog’s paw, and then you make a big show of saying sorry (petting, holding the dog, making soft sounds) your dog understands! They know you didn’t mean it. On top of that many animals have been shown to have varying levels of human language comprehension, so it’s not impossible that your dog ACTUALLY knows what the word Sorry means!

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  • gallusrostromegalus
    22.01.2021 - 4 days ago

    toasty-cowboy :

    What I say: I’m going to bed now

    What I mean: I’m gonna lay down with my eyes shut in the dark while my brain decides it’s time to now commence a string of intricate thoughts and revelations that all subsequently lead to a primal desire to eat those blueberry Eggo Waffles that are laying dormant in the freezer like Smaug under the Lonley Mountain.

    Me, halfway through the French Toast Sticks at 2:30 AM: Ah, A Mood ™

    #Its Real Cryptid Hours here folks
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  • ochidump:
malunis:
So I learned of this great Japanese USB product. It’s a giant Enter key and it’s exactly what it looks like: Epic slamming of the Enter key. That is actually the product intent. That’s fantastic. 




#me sending cursed content to the group chat  (via @thebisexualmandalorian) #There are SEVERAL of you this applies to
    gallusrostromegalus
    22.01.2021 - 5 days ago

    ochidump :

    malunis :

    So I learned of this great Japanese USB product. It’s a giant Enter key and it’s exactly what it looks like: Epic slamming of the Enter key. That is actually the product intent. That’s fantastic. 

    #me sending cursed content to the group chat  (via @thebisexualmandalorian)

    #There are SEVERAL of you this applies to
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  • gallusrostromegalus
    22.01.2021 - 5 days ago

    glumshoe :

    my dog is 12 pounds

    how the FUCK does she take up 75% of the couch

    Having owned dogs in a Variety of Sizes, I have a Theory I like to call the “Inverse Furniture Consumption Rule”.  Essentially, there is an Inverse relationship between how big a dog is and how much space they take up on the Couch/Bed/Tent they take up. 

    • The 100lb Wolf Hybrid I grew up with would fold herself neatly onto a cushion  with a little space left over so two adult humans and a small child could sit with her.
    • The 80lb German Shepherd woul curl up not-quite-as-neatly and took up a Seat and A Bit, so that only two adults or an adult and a teen might fit.  
    • The 60lb Kelpie takes up half the couch with her Sprawl and gets Offended and will passive-aggressively kick you if you sit too close to her.
    • When charlie was 40lbs, he invented a sort of Upside-Down Slpoot where he’d lie on his back with his legs sticking out and cover a full two thirds of the couch, with his toes in your nose if you try to sit with him.
    • It is projected that my next dog will weigh around 20lbs and I assume he’ll need his own couch and I will have to sit on the floor.

    Note that the increase in area is not due to the sixe of the dog, but theirt determination to take up as much space as possible while in repose, so I believe it’s got to do with Tactical Application of Attitude in maintaining thier personal space, an important skill in Not Getting Trod Upon during concious hours.

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  • gallusrostromegalus
    22.01.2021 - 5 days ago

    an-autistic-with-personhood:

    guerrillatech">synebluetoo:

    an-autistic-with-personhood:

    guerrillatech :

    Why would you hide that in the notes

    #I have some of my great and great-great grandparents appliances from the 1890's and 1910's #those motherfuckers will be beautiful even after we leave for the stars and evolve into something else
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