I think a lot of the discourse on here, esp about intra-community issues, comes from the perspective of people who are a part of pretty insular leftist queer communities and assume everyone else engaging w their writing is too. so you have stuff like “white trans people are celebrated when they come out” or “everyone wants to fuck transmasc genderqueer people” as statements people are making, which are very very true in some cases from within these really insular communities but seem like you’re blogging from another dimension to people who like, live in small town Iowa.
I think this is why we get a lot of the tumblr arguments we get. like one person’s like “ask every single person you meet for pronouns no exceptions or you’re a bad person” and someone reading that who isn’t part of an urban leftist queer scene is like??? you want me to as the aggressively homophobic straight men who live in my open carry state for their pronouns?????? but no one wants to add “disclaimer: I go to smith college/live in Montreal/have completely forgotten what fear feels like” to their posts
Okay no one on Tumblr that I’ve seen has been talking about the wine and cheese thing, but that means no one is reflecting on the absolute weapons-grade hilarity of Boris Johnson trying to inchworm his way out of trouble by claiming that he didn’t know about it
Like… that wine and cheese party was the Downing Street works Christmas do. Not just any old social, the Christmas social. There were invitations. There was music. Every single worker in Downing Street was invited, even Debbie from accounts. People who didn’t work there but were important to the government got invited.
And Boris is therefore claiming that all his mates got together and had a party and DIDN’T INVITE HIM.
Not only that, but they deliberately kept it a secret from him, because no one wanted him there to ruin the party because no one likes him, and I just…
The key difference between Johnson and Trump always came down to this: Johnson wants to be liked. He genuinely does. Trump wanted to be respected and feared and obeyed, he wanted to be seen as powerful and suave and cool. But he didn’t care about how liked he was. Johnson, though, really fucking does. He’s a deeply pathetic little twat, and he wants people to like him.
So, his choices currently are
Tell everyone in the country that his own friends and coworkers actually cannot stand him, to the point that they arranged an entire Christmas party without him
Admit that he was there and immediately be hated by literally every single human being in the country, including his own voters (hello North Shropshire), because while the rest of us spent Christmas 2020 in a lockdown and unable to see each other and in many cases literally alone, him and his mates held an illegal Christmas party that the police are refusing to investigate
His popularity is now nosediving in the polls, and it really cannot be stated how much that will be burning him.
Also, pro-Brexit Tories are even pissed off with him now. Which is a bit like someone buying a cake called a pus cake with pictures of pus all over the box and a warning sign that says This Cake Contains Pus and Other Bodily Fluids, and then crying because when they tried to eat the pus cake they found it was filled with pus. But also really funny.
Anyway, I’m placing the bet now: we will see a vote of no confidence, OR he’ll jump before he has to experience that (because it would kill him), and our next PM will be Rishi Sunak
And don’t forget
THEY HAD THIS PARTY IN THE HOUSE HE LIVES IN!
He’s trying to claim that all his friends and colleagues hosted a party IN THE HOUSE HE LIVES IN while he was upstairs apparently totally oblivious!
He really thinks we’re that stupid to believe that a party could be happening literally TWO FLOORS BELOW him and he not know?
Omg omg I forgot that part and you are so right
They had a secret Christmas party that was so big that they were sending out invites to non government members which they didn’t want him at, so they… what, had his mistress drug him with hefty amounts of antihistamines? He went out for the evening (also illegal at the time) and they partied hard on cheese and wine for precisely two hours and 46 minutes, then everyone went silent and snuck out when he came back?
A whole team of cleaners had to tiptoe about for four hours so they wouldn’t wake up the clown upstairs.
What a cover story.
Okay well this story has… Wow.
So, let’s update for those who don’t know. Bear with me, I may get a couple of dates slightly wrong. First, shout out to the incredible investigative journalism and absolutely chessmaster-level shrewdness of Pippa Crerar for both digging up this story and for picking precisely the right moments to release it, morsel by morsel, to bring down Boris Johnson and possibly the whole damn government.
So after Johnson claimed he didn’t know about it, then the Mirror published photos showing he was there and hosted a quiz. So, undeniable, Boris was at the Christmas party.
The Metropolitan Police declare that, even though they are investigating and fining people up to £12,000 a pop for lockdown parties, and doing so is literally their job, they will not investigate the government because “there isn’t enough evidence”. ACAB etc
Then, the Guardian reveals photos of Boris Johnson, his mistress, and Dominic Cummings eating cheese and drinking wine in the sun (with others around them) in the Downing Street garden, not allowed at the time (we were literally not allowed to leave home at the time). That day, Matt Hancock urges people not to have cheese and wine parties in their own gardens in spite of the nice May weather.
Then the Mirror reveals that there was actually another whole ass party - in May 2020, where 30 gathered in the garden of Downing Street (at the time we were not allowed more than 2 households meeting outside). Boris denies that it was a party, and claims it was merely a weirdly well catered work event that included his gin-drinking mistress and baby for some reason.
Then, the invites to the party were leaked by ITV. Turns out, 100 people were invited “to make the most of the lovely weather.” It also told attendees to “bring their own booze.”
Then an inquiry begins, carried out by Sue Gray. She is in fact a member of Number 10 staff, but no idea how independent she’ll actually be one way or the other. Either way, the police are still literally refusing to investigate so lmao that’s what we’ve got. She did get Damien Green fired for that porn thing, though, so that’s encouraging.
Then this week, Johnson goes on Prime Minister’s Questions. He sort of apologises, and claims that he was only there for 25 minutes but implies he then left because it felt more like an illegal social than the work event he was expecting, which is interesting, since his mistress was necking gin next to him the whole time. He should have just asked her, like. She could have clarified.
Then the Times reveals a source at the party who says that no, Boris stayed WAAAYYYY longer and spent his time wandering around and ‘gladhanding’ people (side note, posh people have weird words).
Then yesterday, even though we now have evidence and a confession of criminality, the Met Police announce that they will not investigate unless/until the Gray Inquiry finds evidence of criminality, which is just…an astonishingly open display of corruption, really. A real quiet-part-loud moment.
THEN, within hours, it’s revealed that there were ANOTHER TWO PARTIES, except… Okay you’re going to want to sit down, because shit hit the fan yesterday.
These two parties happened on the day of Prince Philip’s funeral last year, aka Put Philip In The Floor Day. At the time, restrictions meant just 30 people could attend that funeral.
Which means, the Telegraph ran this headline and image:
I know we all hate the royals on Tumblr, but you have to understand just how hard that headline, and that image, and that message, hits British society. The Queen, beloved monarch, “forced to grieve alone” while the government danced and drank the night away. You cannot imagine how much power that image holds. You cannot begin to imagine the social power of it.
Boris Johnson can. He was polling only one point above Theresa May’s all time low within the hour. That is a devastating popularity drop for the man who needs to be loved, who came to power on a cult of personality.
So, he went on PMQs again, to apologise to Lizzie Two. It’s a really funny apology because he kind of can’t apologise without admitting it and there’s an enquiry going on so it’s real vague, but he does cop to the parties on Put Philip In The Floor Day. Keir Starmer, in a rare display of actually providing some opposition, put the boot in quite nicely:
Well, there we have it. After months of deceit and deception, the pathetic spectacle of a man who’s run out of road.
His defence, that he didn’t realise he was at a party, is so ridiculous that it’s actually offensive to the British public.
He’s finally been forced to admit what everyone knew that when the whole country was locked down, he was hosting boozy parties in Downing Street.
Is he now going to do but decent thing and resign?
Which brings us to today! How is the Prime Minister coping with the situation?
Well, according to a leak from the Independent, he literally spent today working out which senior officials he can force to resign and take the blame in order to save himself in a move that he, a grown man who has fathered six or possibly seven children who is Prime Minister of the country, is without irony calling, and I am not making this up…
Operation Save Big Dog.
Big Dog is him. He is Big Dog. He has called himself Big Dog. He chose to call himself Big Dog.
Except, the Independent leaked it, as I say, so now he looks EVEN WORSE.
The Mirror’s front page for tomorrow is revealed.
They have a photo of a wine fridge (capable of holding up to 34 bottles of wine) being delivered to Number 10.
Because, they reveal, these parties were not special events only.
Downing Street has been holding what they called Wine Time Fridays every week during the pandemic. They used to hold them before as well; but apparently, they’ve been particularly popular during lockdown.
Current polling as of 14th January 2022:
Those figures would translate to the Tories losing over 126 seats. Labour’s largest lead since Tony Blair.
Side note to finish off for now:
Interesting how we now know a good 100 people who was at those parties, complete with photos, and yet Rishi Sunak is not in any of them. One might almost call it suspicious. And wonder at who the main source is.
HOO BOY THE CIRCUS IS IN TOWN THIS WEEK LADS
I will try to keep this concise, and I will put in a Read More because fuck this is like… metres of political intrigue. Although first, quick housekeeping because I’m fed up of seeing some stuff turning up in the notes:
Americans stop being smug in the notes challenge. Just enjoy the clowns quietly.
It is not misogynistic to refer to Carrie Johnson as Big Dog’s mistress, you tedious voles, that’s literally what she was when he cheated on his cancer-suffering wife with her. He also dumped his wife, mid-chemotherapy, to shack up with Carrie Antoinette over there. I do not give the tiniest iota of shit that they are now married, and given that the UK press has spent two years trying to make their relationship into a fairytale princess situation, I will continue to brand her his mistress until the inevitable day he cheats on her with yet another younger model and fathers his eighth or ninth child (not an inaccurate number, this man has Disputed Children with other mistresses he refuses to take a paternity test for)
EXERCISE A MODICUM OF CRITICAL THINKING AND STOP ACCUSING ME OF THINKING RISHI SUNAK IS A GOOD ALTERNATIVE. I HAVE NOT SAID ANYWHERE THAT HE IS. ONLY THAT HE’S GUNNING FOR IT.
With that out of the way, it’s the 20th January 2022, let’s watch the elephant stand on a ball!
Earlier This Week
Let’s check the polls, after the fun of last week!
70% think he’s lying about the May 20th party, 63% think he should resign, 80% think he has not been honest, and 81% think the ‘work event’ that Big Dog described was unacceptable anyway.
But, how does that translate to politics? Well! The Police and Crime Bill is a monstrous piece of fascist legislation that the Tories are currently trying to get passed. This week it passed to the House of Lords. This would normally have been a very straightforward run through to the Queen to sign off, but LOL SOME PEOPLE ARE VERY BITTER ABOUT THE CHEESE AND WINE because instead the Lords have literally thrown out three of the worst elements.
Yes, you read that right. That Bill we’ve all been terrified about?
The Lords have rejected:
Allowing stop and search at protests without suspicion
Banning people with a “history of serious disruption” from attending protests
Making it an offence to disrupt the operation of key national infrastructure, like an airport or a newspaper printer
And then, just to rub salt in the wound, they approved two non-Tory amendments, including making misogyny a hate crime. In practice, those two amendments will now go back to the Commons to be debated more, but those three central pillars up there are just gone now. The Lords described the proposals as “draconian”, “a wider assault on our democracy”, and “reminiscent of Cold War Eastern Bloc police states”.
Never thought I’d see the day…
So, Boris the Big Dog realises he’s in serious trouble now, because that means that even MPs who supported him now hate him because his actions are costing them the fascist laws they wanted to put in place. So he has a meeting with the one Tory you can absolutely count on to blindly and incompetently support Boris Johnson regardless of literally anything he ever does - enter, Nadine Dorres.
She suggests a zippy new ploy. he needs to shore up support from the backbenchers if he’s to survive it, so she suggests he give them everything they’ve been asking for like a gift wrapped Christmas gift of shit, and they call it Operation Red Meat, because neither of them is bright enough to consider not naming their illicit backroom plans to let them go undetected, and also, they learned nothing at all from Operation Save Big Dog. Here’s the problem: Tory backbenchers are fucking lunatics. Like, this is your mad Tory uncle who thought the highlight of 2021 was that we put a picture of a crown on beer glasses again TAKE THAT EUROPE. So what bones did Big Dog throw these people?
Threatening to cut the BBC license fee, costing them billions
Also ending all covid restrictions
Asking the military to protect against asylum seekers crossing the channel so they have to go to Rwanda and Ghana for processing instead
Except cutting the BBC alienates a chunk of the core Tory votership, which is old people.
(Remember Ghana, it’s going to be relevant in a sec)
And, it turns out, while the BBC has been very effectively muzzled by the Tories, if you then try to take away their funding anyway… they just might remember they have teeth after all.
I’m a pacifist like institutionally but I’m absolutely certain that violence solves at least some problems on a much smaller level. I don’t believe in wars or nuclear weapons or military campaigns I do believe in the power of that guy who punched the nazi in the face so hard his entire media presence immediately crumbled to dust
what’s y’alls favourite things to find in a picrew. like if they have that option you’re like FUCK YEAH
ooooh thank y’all so much for answering! i decided this evening to just randomly make a picrew just because, so i’d love inspiration for next time i try to make one/improve on the idea! this one was just a shitty one made in a couple hours, and there are only like…. 2-3 options for every category, so it’s very much just a shitty test/practice one, but if anyone wants to play with it, here it is! i might try to make another one in the future with the options people talked about if i’m feeling it!
remember when that tweet of someone going ‘does tumblr use moomf and oomf and doomf’ went around and we all made fun of them
and now we’re all going like ‘lol twitter doesnt have blorbo eeby deeby glup shitto’
its just funny, is all
no we were right to make fun of them we dont say moomf and oomf and doomf. we say blorbo eeby deeby glup shitto. hope this helps ♡
[ID: an edited political cartoon showing two simple towns divided by a river. They are identical, except for the colours on their flags. The town on the left with purple flags is labelled, “Our Blessed Tumblr,” while the one with orange flags is labelled, “Their Barbarous Twitter.” One of the Purple town’s towers is labelled, “Our Great blorbo,” while the Orange Town’s tower is labelled, “Their Primitive moomf.” The residents of Purple town are labelled “Our Noble eeby deeby,” and the Orange town’s residents are labelled, “Their Backward oomf.” There are two ships with flags matching the towns. The Purple ship is labelled, “Our Heroic glup shitto,” while the Orange ship is labelled, “Their Brutish doomf.” End ID.]
So little PSA here, I am super into nail art, (not professionally just on myself) and I have done exclusively gel nails for over a year now and I got pretty good at it.
I noticed about 6 months ago that after I did my nails my hands really started to itch in the middle of the night. And I mean REALLY itch like I was waking up and scratching them with anything available, running them under extremely hot water to try and make it stop, thinking I was going crazy from how intense the itch was. I already have eczema so I assumed it had something to do with that, but it was so much worse than any eczema had ever been in my 20 years. The skin on my finger tips cracked and peeled off it was absolutely horrible to look at and for some reason I decided it was worth it to keep using gel nails. I even joked to my friends and family about it like “I’ve payed for them I’m not going to let this stop me!”
Eventually I showed my boyfriend just how bad it had gotten, my hands were in constant pain at this point. He was obviously super concerned and then told me that his mum had a super similar reaction and I should talk to her about it. I asked her and lo and behold, exact same symptoms. She was waking up in the night when she had got her nails done and scratching her hands with a hairbrush because the itch was so intense and she had even begun noticing her nails disconnecting from her nail beds. She had gone to the doctor and gotten allergy tests done and she was indeed very allergic to a chemical in gel nail polish.
So now I’m one month of no gel nails and for the first time in so long my hands are looking so healthy! No broken skin at all! Only downside is I’m having to practice nail art with regular polish again :(
But yeah if you feel something is not right with a cosmetic product STOP USING IT it does not matter if you payed for it your health absolutely needs to come first because as it turns out I could have had a much worse situation of my nails physically falling off if I had continued.