why are these all so fucked up
the fossil pokemon of this gen are inspired by several incidents in britain (and europe at large but mostly britain) where many fossils were put together completely wrong, resulting in shit like this being in actual museums. this particular one (the “otto von guerick unicorn”) is actually from germany, but it’s the funniest of them. see the crystal palace dinosaurs or the piltdown man for british examples
in the game, you’re combining fossils from completely different extinct pokemon, resulting in these monstrosities that have dex entries like this:
- “Its mighty legs are capable of running at speeds exceeding 40 mph, but this Pokémon can’t breathe unless it’s underwater.“
- “The shaking of its freezing upper half is what generates its electricity. It has a hard time walking around.“
- “Though it’s able to capture prey by freezing its surroundings, it has trouble eating the prey afterward because its mouth is on top of its head.“
some of the 8 dex entries even speculate why these pokemon may have gone extinct, which is funny because they never existed in the first place. they’re chimeras that are exclusive to the pokemon universe’s modern times.
the professor lady who puts the fossils together in the pokemon games is even named Cara Liss (careless)
It’s a porg
I hate this cause it’s just trying to sell tickets and get butts in seats without promising anything! Like any movie “COULD” do this, but will it?? Fuck you
Jokes aside enough of these “hints” and “coulds”. Either actually give us something or shut the fuck up
It’s gonna be Baby Yoda
IT’S BECAUSE THEY’RE FRED & DAPHNE
FUCK YOU AND YOUR BITTER JEALOUS LONELINESS HOWARD STERN
YES SO GOOD!!!!!
And she will be a completely different woman, but that’s alright.
Most folks with this guy’s mindset will go far in life.
I’m still proud of the fact that a couple of years ago, I tweeted to Sarah Michelle Gellar and asked if Stern had paid up on his bet. To my great surprise, she actually replied and said he hadn’t and he owed them money. 😂😂
(Funky Keyboard Music in the background)
„No, no, Slickback.“
„That’s what I said! Slickback!“
„No, n***a, I‘m a Pimp Named Slick Back. Pimp Named Slick Back-Back. Pimp Named-Pimp Named-Pimp Named-„
„N***a, are you deaf? I’m a Pimp Named Slick Back!“
(Mod Note: this video really popularized this audio on Tiktok)
„Dora is all bark no bite. Especially when Swiper‘s music starts playing“
Dora: „And you know what, Boots? I’ll fight anybody.“
Boots: „Okay, Dora, I see you!“
Dora: „I‘m being dead serious. You wanna pull up, pull up, it’s always on si-„
(Swiper‘s theme music starts playing)
Dora: (quietly) „-oh my God.“
Boots: „The fuck is that?“
Dora: (panicked) „We have to go. We have to go right fucking now. WE HAVE TO GO RI-„
Transcript: (Woman’s voice speaking in a professional tone, echoing as if from a loudspeaker) “Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. All of us here at the zoo would like to remind the zoo goers with big booties to please not run too fast past the chimpanzee exhibit. The sound of the clap of your ass cheeks will startle the chimps and they are indeed very horny. Thank you. Have a nice day.”