This was definitely what I expected the most!
part 1 | part 2 | ao3
‘’Sorry’’ Ginny mumbled in the midst of sobs, lying in a fetal position on the bed while hugging her knees, feeling like scum, the worst of the species ‘‘Sorry’’ She could barely see a foot in front of her face
‘‘Please don’t say that’’ Harry was crying too, hugging her from behind and looking like he was about to pick her up to lull her like he did with his kids ‘‘Please Gin, don’t apologize’’
‘’I didn’t know .. I don’t– ’’
‘’- I know my love, I know’’
Two days ago..
Harry and Ginny had decided to have another child, no matter how much James and Albus were being less argumentative with each other and the Weasleys had grown up considerably in the last few years, it seemed right.
And it felt right when he took his goddaughter Rose on his lap, or when they saw Ron braiding his daughter’s hair, when Dominique climbed onto Harry’s lap so she could makeup him, and when little Molly asked Ginny to teach her Flying. It felt right to try again.
Harry was no longer going on suicide missions and had become the Head of Aurors, which made his workload very short, and that Ginny was starting to think about retiring from the Harpies, since The Prophet offered a job as a journalist. James was at an important stage in his life and now he was beginning to enter a stage that he would be able to remember when he was older, and none of them wanted the boy’s memories to be of his parents’ absence. And Teddy was almost going to Hogwarts, which demanded even more attention.
But it seemed like a good time to try.
They tried - not that it was a horrible thing to do, honestly - and as much as it was sad when the test came back negative, they didn’t give up.
Ginny had warned Gwenog this time, told her about the plans and that possibly she would not return after the third child, everything was going well.
Until she fell off the broom in the middle of the World Cup.
It had been chaos, from when the bludger hit her in the ribs and caused her body to be thrown away from the broom, until the time she fell on the floor unconscious, remembering nothing else.
Harry despaired, there was a frightening amount of blood on the floor and Ginny looked quite hurt even though he saw it from several feet up. For a few seconds, as he stared at her lying on the floor, he thought he had lost her. He thought that for some cruel reason, his children would be without their mother, they would lose the best person they had ever met.
But she moved, very little, but she moved, and he started breathing again.
In the next instant, Harry was in the Hospital, walking in the room where Ginny was, still unconscious and looking absurdly fragile. Molly had stayed with the boys, however much Teddy looked like he was about to break down and Albus seemed to lose his lungs with every step his grandparents took away from Harry. James was darkly silent, looking over his grandfather’s shoulder towards his father, as if he expected Harry to disappear forever. He later blamed himself for leaving the boys that way, without even explaining that he would return.
When Ginny woke up, she barely remembered where she was or what had happened, the healers kept her under observation until they were sure that everything was fine, and that she would not have any fallout. And when Healer Swattye arrived with the papers in hand, they expected the worst, because no one would bring good news with that face;
‘‘I’m sorry Mrs. Potter, but you lost the baby’’
Ginny has been blaming herself ever since, crying endlessly since she knew, avoiding anyone but Harry, hiding inside the room and finding herself the worst of monsters.
“Albus is worried” Harry said after her crying soothed, hugging her to his chest and stroking her red hair “Let him in just to see that you’re okay” He asked, already imagining that his son could barely make it stop in place, anxious about the mother’s silence since they returned from the Hospital
‘’What if he sniffs that I’m a bad mother? Children can feel’’ She murmured against his chest, her voice shaky and low. Harry had thought he had never felt so much pain in his life
‘’You’re not, Gin. You will never be .. You didn’t know you were pregnant and the Bludger was really strong’’ Harry repeated for what seemed like the tenth time, but he wouldn’t stop until Ginny understood “Let the boys come and see you, it’ll be good” The woman sighed, seeming to ponder, before nodding. ‘’I’ll call them’’
Harry knocked on Teddy’s room, knowing that the three were there, as they had been since they had returned, sleeping together and holding each other as if they were going to be safer. ‘’Mom wants to see you’’ He said, taking Albus on his lap and waiting for Teddy and James to get up.
The second, had not yet expressed any reaction beyond the silence - deafening - and the few words he had spoken during breakfast today, commenting on not wanting to go to his grandparents’ house.
Harry thought he was the one who was suffering the most from Gin’s situation.
As soon as they opened the bedroom door, Ginny was sitting on the bed, still looking crying, but at least she smiled when Teddy and Albus ran to the bed, throwing themselves on the mattress and hugging her as if she had run away for decades. James continued to hug Harry’s leg.
‘’Come on buddy, I’m going with you .. Mommy wants to see you too’’ Harry whispered, lowering himself to the son who looked like he was about to cry, his brown eyes shining towards his parents bed
‘’Doesn’t she love us anymore?’’ James also whispered, looking at his dad this time.
“Of course she does, she is just in pain… she is missing you” Harry looked at Ginny, who faced the situation as if it were a horror movie, still being hugged by the other two boys, but still looking about to cry again with the reluctance of the other son “Come on, let’s go” James moved, accompanying Harry to the bed and climbing with the impulse his father had given him, sitting next to Gin’s waist, looking at her with curiosity.
“Mommy, are you okay?” James asked, not taking his eyes off her eyes “Daddy said you got hurt” Ginny swallowed, her heart aching in her chest, wanting to pull the boy close but also wanting respect your moment.
‘’Mom will stay’’ She said hopefully
“I wish I came here to read to you, like you did when I fell, but Dad said I needed to be with Al .. I took care of him, Mom, I didn’t fight” James was still serious, but now his eyes were running tears. Gin was the same, and she couldn’t take much longer, pulling him into the collective embrace, kissing the top of his head
“Thank you dear, Teddy told me that you were very patient” The godson nodded, smiling at James, lying on Gin’s shoulder as if he were still small, while Albus was precisely lying with his head on her belly, as if wanted to hear what was inside. James lay on the other shoulder, within her embrace.
‘‘I was scared’’ James whispered in her ear ‘‘But I knew you were coming back’’.
Ginny managed to sleep that night, and the others too, even when Harry had to leave at dawn to help an Auror who was calling him, and Teddy came to lie with her, hugging her and barely keeping his eyes open for more than a minute before to go back to sleep (and she knew there was Harry’s finger on it). She was recovering.
She went to see a healer a few days later and followed his orders about retiring entirely from Quidditch, in order to avoid more moments like that. Ginny could barely contain a few tears when Gwenog hugged her and thanked her for all the years they had worked together, and that she fully understood that it was time for her to go. Asking her to be kind in sports columns involving the Harpies.
And after a few months, after telling her mother what had happened and crying like a baby in her lap; she and Harry tried again.
The healer had said that maybe it would take time, her body was weakened and maybe it would be better for her to talk to the Muggle obstetrician and gynecologist who had delivered the baby and all the monitoring of James and Albus, just to clear conscience.
She and Harry listened carefully to the doctor, did the tests, and Ginny told about the loss of the baby and how it had affected her. Dr Iven, as always, had been calm and empathetic with her situation, reaffirming - even if she had not spoken - that she was not a bad mother for having lost her child and that this was more than she could have imagined.
‘’But now, we’re going to work for the next one to come, and to be healthy’’ He said, before prescribing some more routine tests.
In the first month, nothing happened. Not in the second, or in the third, or in the sixth … Nothing. But then, after Teddy’s 10th birthday (where he secretly asked for a little sister), a few weeks later, Ginny was in a much bigger spurt than usual, and she was sweating a lot, even if it was autumn.
At first she thought it was because working with Rita Skeeter was really stressful, but the woman had spent a week in Wales. Afterwards, she thought she might be entering menopause, but it was impossible, witches only entered after 100 years old. So Ginny took off all her clothes and put herself in front of a mirror, just because she had read this in one of the magazines that Dr Iven kept it at the clinic.
Her breasts were heavier, and her stomach seemed higher than normal, and her vaginal lips were darker, as indicated in the magazine that was due to blood flow in early pregnancy.
It didn’t take long for her to put on her clothes and apparate near the Muggle pharmacy, buying several pregnancy tests and then returning home. It was late afternoon, Harry was in the yard helping Albus to plant whatever he had gotten from Neville, James was hanging out with Ron, Mione and Rose, and Teddy would only come tomorrow … She could hardly stand her curiosity, but she held on until it was later and Harry could be on the side, just because Ginny would feel safer that way.
‘’I bought pregnancy tests’’ She commented as soon as her husband closed the door to their room after putting the two boys to sleep ‘‘I haven’t done any’’
‘’Do you think you are .. are you pregnant? Forget it, of course it does’’ They both laughed “Whatever the outcome, I’m here” Harry said, and she nodded, running to the bathroom and lowering her pants, anxious to pee soon “Not even with me you get naked so fast”
“I had three liters of water in the last two hours, I need to pee” The two were silent while Ginny peed as much of the test as she could, placing them on top of the sink and barely being able to get up from the toilet, hiding her face in her hands and trying not to create too much expectation.
‘’I love you’’ Harry whispered, sitting across from her on the floor ‘‘So much’’
‘’Me too’’ Ginny looked at him, smiling and feeling her chest rumbling with each heartbeat ‘’ How long?’’
‘’One minute’’ He looked at the watch on his wrist ‘‘I think I might pass out at any time’’
‘‘Please don’t’’ Ginny laughed, taking a deep breath and looking at the test row. She wanted it so badly, wanted so much more opportunity … one last time. Maybe if a girl came now, a little redhead - just this once … Of course, she would love the baby with her whole life, regardless of sex.
‘’Three minutes’’ Harry spoke, but remained still, looking at her
‘’You take it, I can’t look’’ Ginny hid her face again, blood pounding in her ears .. She wanted it so badly…
“Ginny?” Harry was trembling when she looked at him, he was looking at the row of tests and tears were falling from his eyes as if it were a running tap, a small smile formed, before giving way to a huge one “We will be parents’’.