just watch and you will understand
I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t that
I keep using my girlfriend with unusual work hours to get out of coworker interactions and happy hours and hanging out.
But now the company holiday party is upon us.
And I’ve been lying about the girlfriend.
I suddenly really empathise with the characters in Hallmark Christmas movies.
I like that people have two reactions to this post.
Reasonable: “just say she couldn’t make it!”
Chaotic: FAKE DATING AU
Well, which one is it going to be?
And so it begins
having the DMV area Craigslist bookmarked has never come in handy before but now
Update, Craigslist has flagged my post as inappropriate.
Apparently you can’t solicit a date as a “gig”
I now see my mistake
Update: a date has been acquired. This is true lesbian solidarity in action.
My wife has now read this and wonders how baby gays are even meeting and mating
Can confirm I am meeting and mating just fine 😂
By the way I’m in a relationship with this woman now
This is the feedback I’ve been looking for
Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.
Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.
I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I’d probably believe they were sick.
if you’re ever sad look at this
instead of being mad at someone watch stitch cuddle with a pillow
shhhh don’t cry look at stitch !!!
NO SADNESS !!! NO NO !! STITCH !!
stitch doesn’t want u to be sad !!
pls don’t be sad
stitch loves you stay safe
It baffles and infuriates me that Hogwarts students don’t take Latin or Greek. Accio? Literally “I summon.” Lumos? Fucking “light.” Expelliarmus? Expel weapon!! Ooooh I wonder what Levicorpus does– you Dumb Ass Bastard. You ILLITERATE. It’s called Levicorpus, it lifts someone’s body, it LEVIES your goddamn CORPUS-
Hermione ghost wrote this
theres this cat on twitter named luna i cant stop thinking about because her resting face always looks so distraught and anxious i love her
these are the eyes of someone who has seen too much i wish this poor soul the best
if these far-right white christians truly cared about the plight of christians around the world, they would also care about the people locked up in concentration camps near the border. because let me tell you, those people are mostly christian. many of them are extremely devout.
the truth is that they don’t truly care about christians of color. they only care about selectively choosing what type of persecution fits their nationalistic agenda. they have no qualms about hurting their brothers and sisters in Christ so long as it holds up white supremacy
He and Legolas never had a single conversation, the only words ever spoken between them were, “and my bow”.
I need this on a blog, at long last, to look at whenever I want.
Frodo: I’m so overjoyed to see you all safe. Gimli, Aragorn, and- *discreetly looks at writing on palms*…L'orealas.
American Girl stories were the best tbh
Dude, read the books, she and her mom freed themselves in Book 1. We don’t disrespect American Girl in this house
Don’t you dare disrespect Addy, or any of my girls for that matter. American Girl used to be legit. Good stories, good dolls, good movies.
Felicity’s story was set in the beginnings of the American Revolution, and addressed the conflict that she faced when her loved ones were split between patriots and loyalists. It also covered the effects of animal abuse, and forgiving those who are unforgivable.
Samantha’s stories centered around the growth of industrial America, women’s suffrage, child abuse, and corruption in places of power. Also, it emphasises how dramatically adoption into a caring family can turn a life around.
Kit’s story is one of my favorites. Her family is hit hard by the Great Depression, and they begin taking in boarders and raise chickens to help make ends meet. Her books include themes of poverty, police brutality, homelessness, prejudice, and the importance of unity in difficult times.
Molly’s father, a doctor, is drafted during the Second World War. Throughout her story, friends of hers suffer the loss of their husbands, sons, and brothers overseas. Her mother leaves the traditional housewife position and works full-time to help with the war effort. They also take in an English refugee child, who learns to open up after a life of traumatic experience.
American Girl stories have always featured the very harsh realities of America through the years. But they’re always presented honestly, yet in ways that kids can understand. They just go to show that you don’t have to live in a perfect time to be a real American girl.
Dont you fucking dare disrespect the American Girls in my house. ESPECIALLY Addy!! That was my first REAL contact with the horrors of slavery, as I read about her father being whipped and sold and her mother escaping with her to freedom, but also how freedom was still a struggle.
A slave doll. Please. Read the books.
reblog to have good concert luck
I’m not risking it, so reblog again.
i reblogged this and patrick from fall out boy smiled at me at the concert and i made eye contact with pete and joe as well
Reblog before I go to sleep
Rb every time when I see it✨
The first time I reblogged this, my dad told my family that we’re going to a Rolling Stones concert this June, IM S H O O K
tickets to wwj
Fuck I’m at a fencing tournament and literally a minute after I reblogged this my dad told me that he talked to the point people and I’m probably going to win a medal.
BURN BAGEL BURN
OH WHY NOT?
I need to follow up to say I reblogged this last night, and this morning I got some of the best news of my life, like, a life dream come true news thing.
Bagel what are your powers
Already had the best news of my life a couple days ago, I dare this bagel to top that.
i’ve bene ingoring the bagle but now i think it’s time to give the bagle a chance
all glory to the bagel
THIS IS FUCKING REAL. I just received an email from my teacher that our test has been postponed for another week so we have more time to study. THIS IS REAL.
The fuckin bagel worked… This stupid shit… I said “within the next two weeks” and 10 o’clock last night I received a text…
listen this bagel has been coming across my dash for years and i NEVER once asked anything of it except for the provenance of THAT FUCKING PICTURE but please magic bagel make the fucking DHS approve my visa change petition i will never question your existence ever again
so i was reading the detective pikachu trivia page and