no lie just do what the rest of us do and bottle that shit up - it's not like anyone actually cares or could help you if they did and all it does is make people's lives worse so yeah. kids get a pass but if you're an adult you should know better by now
I had to stare at this for five minutes to figure out that it’s about that “don’t drop your self-hate into casual conversations” post. I hope this is a troll who’s trying to be passive aggressive about it, because getting from “boundaries are good actually” to this vat of ageist ableist asstwattery doesn’t take a jump so much as a barrel roll.
For fucks sake, don’t bottle it up, you’re just going to end up a bitter self-victimizing asshole leaving a trail of emotional damage in your wake. It’s not just that bottling it up will take a tremendous toll on you physically (you will end up with substance abuse problems, eating disorders, body dysmorphia, hypertension, diabetes and other metabolic issues, autoimmune diseases, acid reflux, gut problems that range from IBS to Inflamed Bowel Disease). It’s also that you’re going to learn to hurt yourself until you’re in absolute agony. I know some of you are like “and then I’ll just kill myself so what?”, but trust me, it takes a very specific confluence of pain and desperation, energy, executive function and opportunity to even try, let alone go through with it successfully. Self-harm isn’t an inevitable decline to suicide, it’s a descent into a living hell from which suicide is a one in ten thousand escape hatch.
Things you can do instead of either bottling it up or dumping this shit on non-consenting parties - making Tumblr posts, journalling, posting and discussing your symptoms on online communities or forums, reaching out to friends using respectful scripts (“Hey, I’m feeling kinda crap. Do you have spoons to listen? You don’t have to respond if you can’t, I just need to vent to someone. Totally cool if you’re not up to it though.” “Hey, I’m feeling really bad, can I just ramble at you on chat? You don’t have to read it.”), joining Discords with channels dedicated to venting and personal problems (I’ve yet to find even fan servers that don’t have one), CREATING THINGS (so much of tumblr’s poetry and prose communities are fuelled by depressed people, my friend writes and composes the sweetest music when she’s sad, another makes short films and draws comics), creating and joining informal therapy groups (my friends and I didn’t have access to formal health care or peer support for years, so we made a dedicated WhatsApp group to talk about anything and everything, it got us through the worst times of our lives), learning how to express, acknowledge, self-validate and defuse negative thoughts, and never giving up on finding professional help (I’ve gone through hell for over ten years to find the one doctor and therapist who wouldn’t fuck me up more, and I’m so glad I stuck with it because it’s made a sea change in my quality of life).
As for this whole “adults should know better” thing people on this website like to weaponize against older folks - do you seriously think you wake up on your 18th, 21st or 25th birthday magically mature and teflon-coated? And regardless of age, the communities and groups within which you socialize have a huge influence on you. That is literally what we call “culture”. I joined this website in my mid-20s, when most of its demographic was 14 to 21. I was deeply mentally ill, isolated and vulnerable and very naive because I was kept at home for nearly my whole adult life because of disability and cultural norms. Tumblr was the primary way I had to learn and engage and interact with people, and a result, I developed the same tendency for black and white thinking, reactive yelling and anxiety-driven anger that characterized this website, and ended up with the same aggravated trauma from Tumblr discourse. I don’t know who tf came up with that “brain is fully developed at 24” pop sci bullshit, but that isn’t even a little how neuropsychology works, and especially, none of these models apply to the traumatized and neurodiverse.
You might have a lot more fuck ups under your belt and even learned better from some of them, but your feelings are going to feel the exact same way at age 45 as they do right now. Maybe older people can dreg up some compassion for younger ones, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have the same capacity to hurt and damage us.
We all have the same responsibility to do no harm, both to ourselves and other people and we all have the right to empathy and compassion, especially towards our own selves. Not losing sight of that is how we stay human and decent.
Edit: this was in my drafts for a long time, but I’m finally posting it.