Hello and welcome to shitposts
Hello and welcome to shitposts
So I just bought my signed resident evil poster of Lady D and her daughters.
Came to a total of $184 aaaaaaaI feel so guilty for spending so much but I’m also so excited
Idc how evil and intimidating the four lords are presented as. I know they would give me a hug if I were sad.
Mother Miranda ignoring Lady D and giving Ethan To Heisenberg: “Now Kiss”
Lady Dimitrescu literally lives alone in a castle with three other women, drinking maidens blood, turning men into scarecrows and referring to them as either ‘filth’ or a 'stupid man thing.’ When exploring her castle and coming across her opera hall you see the sheet music for Totsi’s Sogno for solo piano, which is a song about falling in love with a woman. And let’s not forget that devotion to Mother Miranda tho and the whole wanting to be favourite thing.
Yeeaahh. This woman isn’t straight.
Y/N: W-where am I?
Alcina: Welcome to Castle Dimitrescu. You are safe and no harm shall come to you here.
Y/N: Oh thank God. There is nothing suspicious about your immediate hospitality whatsoever and I am glad to be here.
Alcina: Good. Good. Right this way. :)
*holding fork behind back*
Put this in my year 12 art folio.
The teachers silence spoke volumes.
Ngl I think she was a lil concerned. Me too miss. Me too.
(TW this kinda deep)
Alcina: Haha Beat that one Karl
Karl: *Stands up and clears his throat as everyone quiets down* A doctor was tidying is office and about to finish up for the evening, when a moth flies in. “What can I do for you?” Says the doctor. “Well…” Said the Moth. “I’ve been going through a depressive episode lately. My wife recently left me…took the kids. I’ve tried to reach to them but they want nothing to do with me and my ex wife said if I ever tried contacting them again she’d call the cops. I try to drown my sorrows in hard liquor but they follow me even in my drunken state. My addiction caused me to go bankrupt and I was forced to move back in with my parents. I’m an insomniac! Restless! Thoughts of just ending it all keep me up at night. And my poor little brother has come down with a terminal illness as well…”
Karl: “Oh my goodness, that’s Terrible!” The doctor gasped. “But why is it you came here? Why not to a psychologist instead?” The Moth composed himself a bit and looked up towards the doctor, meeting his eyes.
Karl: “Well, the Light was on.”
Alcina: *Speechless* I-
Donna: *Hand over mouth, trying to stifle her giggles*
Angie: WHEEEEEZE *Is in hysterics*
Miranda: I- wait lmao wtf-
Me: *Completely zoning out*
Alcina: Something about titles, speaking when spoken to, cleaning stuff properly etc
Me: Yes Mum
Maidens and her daughters:
Karl: Sorry Alcina, I won’t be making it to the meeting later on. I need to help Deez with his uh. With his mince meat machine- (yes.) It’s been playing up again.
Alcina: Wait Deez who?
Karl: DEEZ NUTS
Alcina: WHY YOU LITTLE SHI-
*He hangs up*
Karl: *walking up to Alcina sadly*
Alcina: What’s wrong with you?
Karl: You see…My good friend has recently come down with…Ligma…
Alcina: Oh that poor thing. But if I may ask, What is Ligma
Karl: *smirking* *looks upwards to look Alcina in the eye*
Karl: LIGMA BAAALLS
Alcina: KARL I SWEAR
Donna: What are you doing tonight Karl?
Karl: Why. I am lucky enough to be blessed with a date tonight Donna. :)
Alcina: A date? YOU? Hah. What is their name?
Alcina: Candice whom?
Karl: CANDIS DI-
Alcina: *Bodyslams him*
Mother Miranda: Bursting through door* “hEy yALL, God hAs LeT mE LiVe aNoThEr DaY aNd I aM aBoUt To mAke iT e v e r y o n e s p r o b l e m” :))
Anyways I may not be active on here often so here are some other platforms I am on.
Made this aageessss ago but I still think it’s funny-
Dimitrescu household comforting you🌹
Bela: It’s ok to ask for help.
Alcina: You’re not a burden.
Bela: Your feelings matter.
Cassandra and Daniela in unison: Murder is ok. :)
(Alcina and her daughters)
The daughters on caffeine is a scary thought ngl. The caffeine makes the girls incredibly hyper and so to prevent any over the top hyperactivity, Alcina took it upon herself to ban anything containing excessive amounts of caffeine. This means no Coffee, Energy drinks etc. However the girls would 100% find ways to obtain their precious caffeine through other means. Whether they are dealing with the Duke,begging Uncle Karl or rugging up to sneak out in the dead of night in order to collect their special bean juice. They wouldn’t be able to hide this from their mother for too long though. What with all three girls zooming around the castle at 3am, fast enough to break the sound barrier and crashing into random objects. Alcina would be walking around the castle the next day to find Monster energy cans scattered all over the floor or maybe one of the girls would just straight up forget they left an ice coffee in the fridge. No amount of house meetings would prevent them from going after their liquid gold again so eventually it’s assumed that Alicna would just learn to grit and bear it.
Idk she just seems like she would be able to haha. I like to imagine her playing for guests or her daughters as a means of entertainment or family bonding time. She would also teach her daughters to play believing that an ability to learn and play an instrument is an important part of a lady’s education. Bela would take to this the best and enjoy her time on the piano with her mother whilst Cassandra would maybe opt in favour of another instrument such as violin or cello. Daniela would take interest in the piano but she seems like she would prefer vocals or maybe a rOmaNtiC instrument eheheh.
Alcina: *walking towards the Opera hall, music blaring through the doorway* “what-”
Daniela: *Has somehow obtained a saxophone and is now blasting Careless Wispers.* *maiden seated nearby*
Alcina: *Impressed yet concerned*
Alcina would also absolutely show off her advanced piano skills to impress any Maiden she may have her eyes on. ;)
If The daughters have access to tech such as phones they would definitely have tik tok and attempt to get their mother to join in. Alcina would have no idea wtf is going on but would love to spend time with her daughters regardless.
. Daniela and Bela would try to get Alcina to do dances with them. Alcina would get confused or overwhelmed most of the time and do a little side to side wiggle to try and seem less out of place.
. Cassandra would watch martial arts and Blacksmith Videos. She would try out any new interesting move she saw or simply enjoy watching her favourite weapons be crafted.
.Bela would have more of an aesthetic foryou page and enjoy sharing those videos with her mother.
. Daniela would be more on the cursed side of tik tok, filled with memes and other funny videos. She would try to show her mother these videos, part of the time being successful and the two of them have a good laugh.
Daniela: Mother look at this funny Tik Tok :D
Alcina: “OkOk dear”
Alcina: *squints at phone* “…Who’s that?”
Alcina would have Facebook. She just would. Probably post wine jokes and share family photos. To keep up appearances and promote her Wine business she may also have instagram and Twitter.
Resident evil thingy idk.
Maiden: *frantically spraying flies* U g h. The castle is infested!
Bela: *walking into the room and missing an arm* >:C
Life Letters - Never get used to people
I’m more active on my instagram: @ _star_storms_