@illestpin0

Doing this in bullet form as for easier reference back

3/1/21

I’ve been feeling so bad lately – I fell asleep early last night crying and woke up even earlier and cried. I then spent about half the day crying because of how truly sad I felt. lol at 8am I woke up and started folding laundry and started crying in between folding sessions. 

I think it stems from mythology  struggle with my career lately and just the search to find happiness and where I fit in professionally. I also recently started “talking” to someone from Tinder who immediately ghosted me so I just felt twice as rejected from these two aspects in my life. So I was just feeling bad and unaccomplished. 

I really needed help so I reached out to my best friend Cathy for a night out and a drive around the city which usually helps a lot. She manages to listen to me, comfort me, and just take my mind off things. So the night went as follows…

We had dinner, drove around the city, her mom (who knew I was sad) called in concern for me, we looked at the beautiful moon, caught a guy recording his only fans, got my car knocked on by a scary homeless man, and then…. then I spoke to her cousin who has a third eye. 

I was afraid at first and really hesitant to do it but ultimately did it but… the stars aligned and helped me feel more comfortable. She was catholic and knew I was catholic, so the method she performed helped me to feel better about my connection with god. 

At first, she had me stand towards the window and pray to God. I then sat down with my eyes closed and hands clasped and proceeded to try and feel and visualize God. My bottom lip quivered so much, I shed a tear, but I felt tingles all throughout my body and face, my palms slowly started to open to take in the energy he was giving me. 

What I saw was him standing in front of me, bending over to give me a hug. At that point, I didn’t stop crying because I had been asking for his love and comfort for so long. It was kind of a dream come true to physically see and feel him hug me out of love. She noted, too, that it’s rare for me to be able to see and visualize that as it’s not an easy thing to do and people have trouble doing it - honestly, it’s not the first time I’ve done or heard this and now I KNOW I have a special connection to Him.

Anyway, after some more time doing this, we moved on to Cathy’s cousin’s portion of absorbing energy to help find me answers. She asked me to think about questions I’d like to ask, and at first, I didn’t even know what to ask but eventually came up with one applied to two parts of my life: how do I become better - in both my professional and love life. It was pretty vague so I specifically asked ‘will I eventually be happy in my career?’ and ‘will I get to the point in my relationship and love life where I’ll stop being afraid?’

As she began to channel this energy and presence through herself, she started speaking on behalf of God himself to help provide the answers I’ve been seeking. Here’s what happened and the play by play:

• As I felt some energy to my left as if there was a presence, she saw a man standing to my left. She said it was God himself and he looked very young and in a white shirt/robe similar to the alter boys at church. 
• She described to be a very young looking man, but his expression of exhaustion made him look severely old – he looked like he’s been working hard and just needed a break
• He was so tired but the impression that everyone gets of him is that he is happy and absolutely fine, but deep down inside he knows he is exhausted and just unhappy. 
• Apparently, through God himself, he was projecting an image that was reflective of me and how I felt. This was the first instance of correctness. 
• Next, she touched on the first area I wanted to know more about, and it was my professional life. 
• To sum it up, she pretty much said it’s not looking good – it’s not where I want to be and it was apparent. She stressed a lot on money and earnings but I was more interested in if it was something that speaks to me. 
• She said, in order to achieve this, there are two conditions that God said I needed to meet in order to be “successful” in my life. 
• Condition one: go back to school. God himself said and had the expression that he didn’t like school, didn’t want to go back, and that the first time was a struggle (again, keep in mind that his is reflective of my inner feelings. So, this meant that EYE didn’t want to go back to school). But, this is the way. 
• Condition two – before I say this, let me say how it led up to this point.
• Cathy’s cousin said: there’s someone at home who misses you like A LOT and is constantly worried about you. I immediately knew who she was talking about and asked if it was my mom. 
• She said that neither she or God wanted to say it unless I said it first, but I was correct that it was my mom who they’re referring to. 
• So here’s condition two: love and spend my time with my mom as much as I can, even more than I’m doing so now. Call her, visit her, do everything with her as her very essence of love will drive me towards happiness and success. 
• If I want to achieve what I want professionally, than she is my key to doing so. 
• She has always loved and cared and worried for me, but it has intensified even more so throughout the pandemic and it stems from her concern of me being alone and not having anyone like my sisters do. 
• She’s also constantly worried because of how much I DONT share with my mom. I don’t talk to her or open up so she doesn’t have the info she needs to feel better about me being along by myself. 
• All in all – to achieve the greatness and fulfill the potential I’m in search of, I need to dedicate my time to my mom more. 
• Timeline for all of this: maybe within the next 6 to 12 months. 
• Second aspect to be addressed was my love life. As I pondered this in my head, I wanted to know if I will ever find someone who loves and comforts me physically as much as God does for me spiritually. 
• Right off the bat, Cathy’s cousin said “this will not come anytime soon… maybe in the next 2-3 years” (LOL)
• That’s simply because I need to focus on me and my career (which I’ve always done)
• BUT – when it’s my time and when I find the right person, I will know a love like I’ve never known before. It’ll be the most natural and easiest thing I’ve done and I’ll know exactly when and who that is. 
• She said that my worries and concerns about the past are nothing to cling onto – what I thought was love has never been love and that it was always either the wrong time or the wrong person. 
• I need to focus on this less and again more on my career, school, and my mom. Once I get this straightened out, the rest will follow. 
• I paused in between what she was telling me questions and here are some things: firstly, the love that my mom has for me, does that mean I need to move home? 
• No – if it’s not something I want, then it’s not something I should do. It’s not worth trading my happiness and freedom over and there’s a way to achieve satisfying my mom’s love without compromising myself. 
• Is this a conversation I can share with my mom? Sure, but it’s really not needed. Just show her that I love her by calling her more or spending time with her or doing things with her. 
• Is God’s expression because he’s tired of me or is it reflective of me. it was reflective
• As we ended this portion of the call, Cathy’s cousin was telling me that she was tearing up herself when we spoke about my mom because she felt so much immense worry and love for me coming from my mom. 

Reflection: This was all so…….. accurate. I knew everything she was referencing and my mom and I have had similar conversations before. For example, I told my mom randomly one day: “if I could go back and do school all over again, I’d become an architect and designer” to which she responded “it’s never too late, you should.” It was just nuts because this was everything I needed to hear, but also, what I’ve already heard in subtle ways. It was just reinforced by the presence of God and his energy. 

This was everything I needed to hear and just helps affirm so much for me. I now feel SO MUCH weight lifted off my shoulders and have the guidance and direction I have been looking for. With this new found, refreshed energy, I plan to strike at all of the things we talked about. 

first dream of the night: me and my girls (pao, ali, and alan) were all in hawaii living our best lives and then out comes with all these proposals. I think I knew they were coming cuz I was the only one who wasn’t proposed to and did the proposing. all the other men coordinated to do it at the same time so we waited for the hawaiian sunset over this cliff overlooking the island and the ocean - romantic as hell

the first to get on his knees was allen for paolo – of course that shit was cute as hell. dont got much to say cuz theyre like the poster couple for asian american gays around the country. second was alan who was proposed to by this hot tiktoker I follow, and alan was so happy, I had tears cuz I only live for his happiness. the original plan was that I was to propose to ali but his grindr location was on and literalllyyyy three men saw that ass and had to put a ring on it. so, instead of fighting over ali, the three agreed theyd all marry him and propose at the same time and he wouldn’t have to choose (living all our triple penetration fantasy). duncan was on the trip with us and I was like well, ali isn’t missing out on anything by not marrying me and hell yeah id propose to cute ass duncan. the other three were in total shock and duncan and I were on the side shocked as well, of course I was faking it and timed it to kneel behind him when he wasn’t looking to surprise him more. thank goodness he said yes cuz my Aquarius moon couldn’t handle a public rejection, sweet sweet Duncan lmaooo. 

hahahah ideky I had this dream, but I felt like one of those girls thats like “omg ladies we have to have our kids at the same time” – had the dream went on, I think that would’ve been next lmao. 

second dream: (irl) my family’s first restaurant has a boba shop on the other side. in my dream, we added like an internet cafe to the other side so it naturally attracted like nerdy, weird, weaboo, skinny, asian guys. my cousin and her pretty friends thought it’d be a good idea to capitalize on their lack of interaction with females lmaooooo so all they did was stand outside the cafe and charged like 10 bucks for one touch in a non appropriate area (so no b00bz and c00ch and butt) but like the arm, or the forehead, or the shoulder was fine. 

to all of our surprises it was a hit LMAOOOOO (im weak thinking about it). there were literally MASSIVE crowds of these nerdy asian guys surrounding them just to touch a girl for the first time and they made hella money. but like it started to take a weird turn cuz like this HORRIBLE stench came from no where and was lingering outside the restaurant and we’re like wtf is that? turns out these guys were jizzing in their pants upon contact with their fingers to the girls like elbows and kneecaps HAHAHA they were so excited to get close to a girl and touch them for the first time they couldn’t contain themselves, v weird. 

anyway, I came thru to clean up that mess and formed a line/ticketing system so the girls let me get a cut of their profits and business didnt seem to slow down at allllll

third dream: my middle school friend I havent talked to since then was randomly working at my moms other restaurant when she came up to me and asked for help. she said she didn’t feel safe and HAD TO walk into this white car parked outside – pretty much alluding to trafficking – or it could be really bad for her. we were close again so I was like hell yeah id do anything for you. so I followed her outside and she walked up to the car and remained outside and distanced. this guy who looked like Cato from hunger games rolled down his window and this thick ish latino girl popped out and tried to force her into the car. since the door was opened, you could see and hear the other girls in the car SCREAM for their lives and immediately I was triggered. original plan was that I stand away to report them and take a pic of the license plate, but instead, my ass decided to yell at them and talk shit and tell them to stop. instead of taking a pic of the plate, I took a video of their faces. 

they saw me and both the guy and girl tossed my friend to the ground and ran after me. I ran towards the restaurant and told my mom (who was working inside) to clear the restaurant for me. she asked all the customers to leave and the whole staff to remain in the kitchen (what a homie). I had a plan all along and lured these two assholes into my restaurant where I TOE THEM UP. 

first bitch tried to go after me but I quickly put her in a lock and threw her hard on the ground – she lost wind and was trying to catch her breath. on the ground, she shouted to the guy for help and he ran after me with a knife. a bitch was not scurred of some white boy with a weapon, so I stood there unafraid and waited him to tackle me. to his surprise I didnt flinch or move, instead I disarmed him, dislocated his shoulder, and also threw him to the ground followed by a flurry of punches to the face and body. they were beat to a pulp (hairflip moment) and I pulled some spy interrogation shit on them and was like “tell me the license plate of the car” (which had somehow driven off by this time) and if they didnt answer id just hurt them more lol. 

idk I was kinda fucked up but I toyed with them and was like “here” and threw a knife at them and said they have one more chance to attack me if they can. they both tried but I did some ninja shit and got them on the ground again. I pretty much yelled at them the whole time to leave my friend alone and to not mess with innocent women. my virgo jumped out cuz I was pretty much lecturing them the whole time and making sure they felt the pain they were causing to others to teach em a lesson. I pretty much woke up pinning them down trying to get them to talk lol

moral of my dreams: im gonna marry a cutie like duncan with my girls by my side, ima make coin and will find creative ways to capitalize on some random shit, and dont fuck with my friends cuz im a loyal hoe and my virgo wont stand for it. manifesting~~~ the end

unconscious dream coming to consciousness

I feel like i’m really well connected to my dreams, and to visually see things with such clarity and being able to retain them even when i’m awake is a blessing, but sometimes, they’re so emotionally charged and linger around me for so long that it feels like a curse

last night, I dreamt that I was back in school and was talking to someone. I was 3 weeks away from graduating with a masters and was 3 weeks into a new relationship with who’d i’d describe as perfect

something happened to me, idk what, but it caused me to spiral and really be emotionally unavailable and emotionally unwilling for two weeks. I didn’t show up to my classes, didn’t get any studying done, moved into a questionably apartment from my nice one, and just stopped talking to him. I can’t remember what it was but it was enough to ruin me emotionally - i’d describe my state as like an emotional paralysis or something… felt like I was suffering a recent death of someone close?

anyway, on the last week of school before grad I was ready to tie up all my lose ends and move on. I came back to campus about three days before grad. beforehand, I crammed the fuck out of studying and prepped for all of my finals it was insane. I came into every class to crush it determined to graduate but when it was game time and I was taking the final, I couldn’t retain anything or remember what I had studied. particularly in my calc class, I was kinda hopeless.

I took all of these finals back to back and as I was going from one class to my last class, I saw the guy I was dating. now, this has only ever happened to me once for only one dream, but tonight was the second - I saw a name so clearly and vividly and woke up remembering it. his name was Johan Innay (I already did a search and no one with that name exists, lol and google search leads u to a lesbian porn site?). and he was biking to class and I ran into him while I was walking. I came up to him to say that I missed him, trying to catch up, but he was understandably pissed at me.

he had the right to be — he just didn’t know how to act around me since I ghosted him for two weeks with no explanation. I was kinda shaking at that point with like fear and nervousness but I tried my best to apologize and explain. he sweetly cut me off and said “i’ll forgive u in exchange for a kiss on the cheek” haha so of course I gave him a kiss and we were fine again and he rode off to class and I went to mine.

honestly, felt so nice to have someone kinda accept you and understand what you’re going thru and it was that energy that rejuvenated me and boosted me for my finals. I took my finals and went to our pre-grad ceremony on the last day. because I crammed I really thought I failed my finals and wasn’t going to graduate, but to my surprise I was called last and received my diploma, sash, and hat!

i kept trying to text and call Johan but no response or anything, was kinda confused about it but I tried hard to think much of it, also considering my 2 week disappearance so i had no right to feel any negative way towards his unresponsive ness. instead I went to my moms restaurant to show her my things and she was sooo happy, but ngl I was just thinking my about him a lot.

eventually I left to go back to campus and found him biking. I tried to approach softly, but he kinda just looked at me, nodded, and left. I knew exactly what it meant and was kinda sad lol

now — idk if i’m over thinking it but I feel like this dream is very very very representative of my life in its current state lmao. 1. there’s always so much emotional turmoil idk how to really confront and end up closing up like a clam for a period of time 2. I am able to show up and show out, despite procrastination and stress, and manage to find success 2a. that success doesn’t equate to leveled happiness, it’s more of a natural survival instinct than a choice 2b. i get praised and recognized for it but it doesn’t seem or feel like much to me, kinda feels boring and whatever 3. i’m alwaaaayyyyysssss dealing with some sort of fleeting relationship with a person - I think I have something but am always left for some unknown reason and the success mentioned in point 2 ends up feeling minuscule

I think it’s the great conjunction energy saying something to me, but I reaaaallllllyyyy wanna change this about myself. I don’t wanna keep having dreams that linger and make me feel weird and empty and overthink everything. high key I already know how I am irl and these dreams add onto my insecurities I guess you can call it. this dream was the first in a whole that made me kinda see my life in a different lens as it is now and i’m seeing a lot of things that just don’t make me excited anymore. i’m going to utilize today’s energy from saturn and jupiter to start a difference

random dream time

last nights:

I lived in a beautiful high rise apartment and lara friends came over for dinner. it was a nice time and after they left I decided to play retro pokémon games. as I was choosing my pokémon I all of a sudden ended up in an empty warehouse with nothing but old living room furniture like a couch and a floor lamp.

this voice started speaking out of no where and kind of alluding to my near future. she was saying that i’d be caught in up a social situation and that’s where i’d show who I really am.

the next day I started at a new school (kinda like high school) and immediately made friends. this school had hella gays and they instantly jumped on me (hair flip). there was a school night event and it was a club. one of the gays that was eyeing me pulled me into a bathroom stall and lmao I started getting the dirty slurpy from him. he was a hoe and asked one of our classmates to get out of the stall so he could use it and said “hey, i know we were supposed to fuck but if you let me have the stall with steven now i’ll come back to u later” lmaoooo. it was a good time but tmi, my dick kinda long and for some reason there was this huge cut on my shaft and I started to worry that he or I would get something if we continued. so I stopped him and we walked out.

as we were wrapping up and leaving, these four other guys were peeping thru the stall tryna watch and I was like ummmm stop. when we came out it turns out they were the popular gays, kinda like the mean girls of the school. they immediately started to bully the guy that took me into the stall and was telling me “you seem cool, you sure you wanna hang out with this loser?” and were being so fucking rude. I realized this is what that ghost was telling me about in the warehouse so I jumped at it and told those gays that they could all probably give me head at the same time and it wouldn’t be as good as his head. I flipped my hair and walked off.

the guy I defended was so shocked and didn’t know what to say and I was like it’s cool thanks for the bj and walked home hahahah. while I was walking, my uncle pulled up in a new white beamer with his gf whom he was cheating on my aunt with and said to get in. my distant cousin for some reason was in the backseat told me to come with them. I got in and was watching my uncle blatantly cheating on my aunt. it was so gross and they were touching each other all over in front of me. irl I fucking hate cheaters and can’t stand that shit and couldn’t believe my uncle was doing it right in front of me.

they wanted to go to a restaurant and I was like ummm i’m not cute take me home so I can change. we stopped blocks away from my house so he wouldn’t get caught and I walked to my house where my mom and entire extended fam was inside. it was my old house and I have a history of evil spirit interaction with.

when I was in my old room I kept the door cracked and started rummaging thru my closet to change. I stopped and looked at the door and realized that was a welcoming for the spirit to haunt me. as I stared, the door moved on it’s own and slammed shut. I know it was the spirit back to taunt me so I started speaking out loud to it and said that I wasn’t afraid of it and it could do anything to me and I wouldn’t care (aggressively speaking). I went to make the sign of the cross but my body had already been paralyzed by the spirit and all I could do was stand there and try not to panic.

I remained calm and decided to pray three hail marys which typically releases me from spiritual grips. as I was praying the little bitch ghost was throwing my shit all over the place and by the time I completed prayers and went away. I went back to choosing a cute outfit and my sister screamed from the bathroom. she came out and brought an yellow bath towel and was dismayed. on it was a burnt face of a girl and I knew immediately that was the spirit that had been taunting me.

my aunties ran up and I tried to explain to everyone that it’s a spirit that’s been messing with me for years but no one would believe me which was frustrating. I came downstairs and my house was FILLED with my extended family members. it was so hard to get out but I had to make my way to my trifling cheating uncle who was waiting with his yt gf (who by the way was meredith from the parent trap).

as I was walking looking for his car I realized this asshole left without me so I started to circle the block and then comes my aunt, his wife, in a car full of their kids. she told me to jump in and started saying “I think your uncle is cheating on me!!! i’ve been driving around trying to hunt him down” irl, this auntie and uncle are ones I try to stay away from cuz they’re really obnoxious and dramatic and rude (and homophobic) so I stayed my ass silent and didn’t say shit. felt bad cuz she was going crazy but was not about to insert myself in all that drama so I just kept saying with a flat voice “oh nooo” HAHAHA

anyway, I was like ummm I can drop me off and I would check the most fancy restaurant u can think of and she sped off to beat his ass. the end

jaaake:

I love her so much

not a sad dream but kinda sad

I fell asleep at 1030p and it’s currently 6am and I just woke up from a dream about my dad

iykyk, but I don’t have a relationship with him. i’ve always struggled with it and I’ve really tried but he always somehow finds a way to fuck it up somehow

lately on social media I been watching these videos of people with their dad and I can’t help but think things like “must be nice” or “coulda woulda shoulda” or simply “I wish…”

I think that may have manifested itself strongly to my subconscious and spilled over into my dreams and again iykyk but my dreams are always a big indicator of my tru feelings whether I know it or not

anyway — the dream randomly starts out with me being in a cooler, burning man like situation helping the literal harry potter watch his daughter and baby son get away from the baby mama he’s been avoiding marrying for years (again random, idk). I called my mom to tell her i’m wrapping up and she’s like ok come to grandpas place and get ur dad to drive u

I was like ummmmm?? but ended up calling him anyway. like a full production, this particular dream was like a scene in a movie: I was sitting in the car with him and we were driving through a suburb full of trees with fall colors surrounding us — the mood and emotions of it were sunny and bright as if nothing I went thru with him were real, we were kinda just… happy.

though, I did pay attention to myself and my own feelings and I definitely still had my guard up, but there was still so much trust and willingness to have a lighthearted and warm conversation

as we were driving, he asked me something along the lines of “what do you think I should fix?” — this was crazy cuz he’d never do this let alone acknowledge that there was actually something about him that he needs to fix. my response to him was to ask “do you know how old I am?” and he said “idk 23?” I jokingly said “wow thanks but i’m actually 27” to which he bursted out laughing as it was indeed a lighthearted moment. like, we acknowledged his absence but it was okay because he was there in that moment.

instead of getting emotional, angry and feeling disappointed that he didn’t know (which would have been his actual response irl) he kept it casual and proceeded to ask why I started out with that response. I led into explaining that at my age, and growing up in fact, i’ve always tried. I try no matter what, difficult or not difficult, and have always wanted him to try.

I told him that he needed to “chịu khó,” in vietnamese it means work hard and try. it’s an expression we normally use to describe fighting thru hardships. I proceeded to tell him that I wished he would try and try harder. I further explained that in a lot of ways he’s like his mom/my grandma to which he responded again with lighthearted laughter. even as I said all of this, his eyes were beaming and brimming with happiness to take this feedback, this was the point where I knew I was in a dream lol none of this would ever happen in real life and the expression “too god to be tru” lives it’s moment here

I got thru a whole conversation where I just spoke to him and he just sat there and happily listened while taking in everything I had to say in a positive headspace, no emotions, just trying. but we eventually arrived to my grandpas house where the whole fam was together for a family party and even my step dad was there lol I thought my mom invited my dad cuz my stepdad wasn’t there but he was and my dad totally didn’t mind or think anything of it — and this was the exact point where I said to myself “yup it’s a dream” and woke up haha

again, iykyk, but this is something that would never happen and is easily classified as a wish. tbh i’m a little emotional writing about this dream because I do truly wish this could be real — i’m only 27 but I understand what old people mean when they say that a life full of hate and grudges and your inability to forgive and forget will lead to an exhausting and wasted life

I can’t lie, I actually have a few tears rolling down my face. but I hope that maybe in my next life, i’ll get to experience what it’s like to have a regular dad. admittedly, i’ve never stoped being curious about what it’s like to grow up with a dad that’s involved and invested in your life. I know it’s lame but… I bet it feels nice to have a supportive male figure to look up too. it’d be nice to have a set, but fortunately my mom is already so great.

all I know is one thing: my kids will never experience what it’s like to not have a dad physically and emotionally there. i’m gonna learn from my dad, despite the negativity that surrounds him, and know what I need to do to make sure i’m present.

sorry — totes different from my regular dream blogs but I haven’t had one like this in a while. it’s 7am now so I guess I should get back to sleep lol

random sequence of dreams… again

so it was night time and looked like a huge campsite with an amphitheater that sat thousands of people. up the road that was surrounded by trees was a movie theater shaped like a gigantic fluffy pillow. I was dropping a bunch of my friends off to watch the premiere of a scary movie and it was a big deal/event because pretty much the entire city came out to watch. 

the outdoor amphitheater was filled up and sat about 5 thousand people and the indoor theater was premiering the movie in every single auditorium which itself had 10 and seated a thousand people per theater. 

I normally like scary movies but definitely did not want to stay for this one. my friends tried really hard to convince me to watch and I agreed a little. like 15 of them were supposed to watch together but it got split up between half of them going indoors and the other half outdoors. the movie started and I immediately left because I couldn’t handle the movie (it was like about demons and had a bunch of gore, the two genres I try to stay away from). 

my friend was bummed so I told him I’d try to watch it from the car (the outdoor theater had an option to do a drive in style movie that sat on top of the seats, and had a place where you can park your car to watch too. so I went to the car but the movie was so intense to me I couldn’t stand to watch it… I tried to distract myself and only looked at some parts but the parts where people screamed and reacted to the loudest, I’d catch a glimpse of and would immediately regret. 

the movie ended and my 15 friends came back to go home. we were all on a getaway trip similar to when you book a cabin at lake tahoe or something. my old car (miss you) was a tiny honda accord that couldn’t fit all of us, and wouldn’t taken forever. one friend suggested I fly everyone, but on a tiny tricycle which was even smaller?? for some reason I agreed and I had to quickly learn how to fly. 

I got on this tricycle and the flight power was generated by happy thoughts and believing (lmao so disney). anyway, I had three people on the trike with me and the first few times of flying were shaky – I’d fly high then drop suddenly, I couldn’t stabilize my turns, and sometimes, I couldn’t even get off the ground. by the time I completed my first drop off of friends, I had to fly back to pick up more. I told one of them to go with me since it was his idea that I fly and he said “fine” (bitchhhh lol). 

as we were taking off, my old pet cat Stanley, would NOT leave us and kept trying to go. we kept trying to toss him into the house but he kept escaping and leaping onto the bike. I eventually got up in the air to start flying and this bitch jumped on again. I took him and threw him back down and suddenly this pigeon hawk came out of nowhere and tried to attack/eat him!!! I flew my trike over to try and save stanley and eventually the bird left him after losing him in a bush. stanley was so messed up and almost died :( but fortunately my friend stayed back and nursed him while I tried to get the rest of my friends. 

while I was on my third or 4th trip back, I managed to fly with complete confidence and mastered ish flying. we even made a stop in a busy ass mcdonalds. there, people kept trying to get into fights and altercations with me and I simply would try to fly away. but that fucking store was gigantic and had like 10 different entries and tall ceilings, I couldn’t manage to escape and basically flew around trying to ignore people. 

my friends were finally done eating and I could finally seriously get out of there. we flew out and flew to a place that looked similar to the persidio on SF. the real persidio had a museum of old disney artifacts and so did my dream. I mistakenly flew into one, crashing thru the window and the employees there were like walking dead ghouls trying to steal my soul for disrespecting disney. I flew around the mansion AGAIN trying to find a way out and avoid confrontation but it was so hard. eventually I had to muster up all my happiness and belief and flew the fuck outta there and finally made it home with my friends. 

dammit – I forgot the rest of my dream lol. there were two more longer parts and now I suddenly forgot as I was trying to remember the first two. I know it had to do with protesting and helping someone out. just as elaborate as the other two but ehh… if it comes it comes, if not, no well what can you do. I’ll come back if I remember it

so, as usual, I’m here to share a dream I had. the first part of it is a normal random one that doesn’t have much to say about it but the second half of the dream was the first I’d EVER had a dream of and I really liked it… here we go:

I had my old car again (honda accord) and I was driving with a friend to her office. the office was an extremely secure tech company that didnt allow guests but she decided to let me sneak in and check things out with my sister. as I snuck in behind her to the top of the building, things quickly started getting complicated. 

the hallways were dark but kinda futuristic and badge access was needed for any and all doors. the CEO of this company was Jo Bennett (the CEO of Sabre from The Office and played by Kathy Bates) and she was really strict and tough. while sneaking around, I ran into my old co worker from ticketfly, Alice, who was known for having the smallest and cutest puppies. we caught up and she said “hey can you watch my puppy for me??” and I said of coruse!

I was walking around the building with this little puppy when security caught wind of my sister and I sneaking around. so they were on the search for us to kick us out. because I was trying to run away and panicked, I dropped ALL of my personal things except for the puppy. 

I made it downstairs to the lobby fine but didnt have my phone, wallet, or car keys!!! I dropped everything in the CEOs office and my friend had to try and retrieve it for me which turned out to be tough because Jo Bennett was in the office yelling all day. 

I went to the parking garage basement to stand by my car but had no way of getting in until my big came and magically opened and started the car without a key. I used her phone to call my phone then Jo picked it up and said if you want it come to my house. 

later that night I went to her place to pick up all my things and she was obviously in the middle of something but was super nice to me. then I get a call….. (end of first part of dream)

I apparently had a 20 something year old son and his gf called me and said he was getting really violent and she was starting to get scared. I quickly drove over to his place and started scolding him. I was yelling and telling him that I didnt raise no bitch boy to hurt and to disrespect women like that and that his father and I expected more from him. 

I told his gf to leave so I can have a chat with my son and then it was just me and him. I decided to give him an old fashioned, classic vietnamese punishment to get him to learn so I told him to kneel with his arms crossed by the door and think about what he did as I tried to lecture him. 

as I was yelling and yelling, he yelled back and said “IM SORRY, ITS JUST TOUGH OKAY” and I said what the hell could be so tough that you’d hurt and yell at your gf. he said “dad listen….” and explained what was happening. and just as you see in the movies, it turned into a flashback sequence that explained everything in visuals. 

turns out my son had been hurting from a severe heartbreak. he was once with a man who he had felt love for the first time with. they were so intimate and he felt so open and unbelievably genuine about himself with this guy. he was happy and smiling and the son I knew to be (a non-aggressive person, hence why his anger was so shocking). but something happened to the love of his life which then didn’t allow my son to be with him anymore and he had been hurting ever since. 

he tried to move on and love others but it was never the same and actually made him feel worse that he couldn’t be with the one he really really loved. he got angry at his current gf over something stupid which caused him to really blow up. then it was the end of the flashback and back to present situation. 

I looked at my son with eyes full of tears, kneeled down next to him and just hugged him. I apologized for being so harsh without understanding and tried to just talk to him instead. 

I explained that I understood and that a love like that comes once in a lifetime, but then explained that he was a being full of love and it shouldn’t stop there. he was a good person and deserved to be happy and be loved just as much as he wants to give that to someone else – if he were to stop that, it would just put him in the place where he currently is. he cried to me and just hugged me the whole time and we decided to see his other dad just to get some family comfort time in. 

-sub story of this second part/what happened after-

I had this beautiful amazing kid with a much older man who was just as beautiful and kind. he was secretly ratchet and lived a life of a nomad, moving from place to place onto his next adventure constantly. we had met when I was younger and he was older and immediately knew we wanted to have a kid together. we had one and raised this beautiful child when I realized that I was still young myself and wanted to explore more of the wold. like the amazing man he was, he understood and didn’t want to hold me back the same way he didnt want to be held back, so after our son was a certain age, we separated but maintained a beautiful relationship. 

back to the story – my son and I drove up to his van which almost resembled a double decker food truck parked on a beach near a bonfire, it was very burning man. my son hugged his father and went into the van then I held onto my old love and just caught up. we talked about what happened with our kid and kind of just had this look into one anothers eyes beside a fire. without so many word exchanges, I felt the love he had given me all over again and just the natural “click” of understanding one another and finding comfort in each others presence. 

it was obvious we missed each other tons but also apparent that we were very happy in our own individual lives. we just sat back and reflected on our life together and then as coparents and grateful at how beautiful our kid turned out to be. 

I had NEVER experienced this in my life (obvi - being single and not a parent) and NEVER had a dream like this before. never dreamt I was a father and never dreamt of a love so strong and genuine. I woke up so happy and hopeful and honestly, as I’m typing this, a little emotional at how beautiful love can really be (corny). I just hope, as I’m writing this down, an ounce of any of this could be manifested and that I can one day really experience this level of love and intimacy with a partner and with my children. 

theriu :

temporalkingdom :

Who is your dad, now?

AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

thehoekage :

myrandomthoughtsofrandomness :

sixpenceee :

A massive sea turtle on the ocean floor

HOLY SHIT! I wonder how old it is.

holy shit, my latest dream was fuckin nuts

so, Disneyland was a mega theme park – it was bigger than we know it now. like huge and colorful and kinda like all of vegas but for disneyland. the elevators go up 500 floors and they speed thru and theyre a ride in themselves. my team/job was running a section of it and we worked in the water park side of it. 

I was on my way to work. I parked my car in the parking garage and was about to get on the elevator to go to my office. my sister was with me and had hella luggage and I guess she and her friends were going on a trip and she was going to be picked up. as the both of us were gonna get on the elevator, this sus ass man came up and joined us. he kept eyeing me and all of a sudden pulled out a knife and was trying to attack me! out of no where this lady in a trench coat came up to save me and did some karate shit on him.

I was so confused and was like wtf and she was like “you need to be careful and watch you back. thats all I can say.” I was so shocked. my sister threw me her shit and ran off and said to give it to her friend. her friend came around and we loaded the car and I told her what happened and she was like ok bye lol. 

my first instinct was to go to my boss and tell her what happened and tell her I cant stay around cuz I was being targeted. as I was riding the crazy ass elevators, I realized that my shit was being tapped and the government has been watching me along with everyone. it was almost like hypnosis where if a phrase was spoken, people would comply and it was a phrase (I forgot) that pretty much was like “how may I help you” and they would immediately do what you asked. 

I was being targeted cuz it didnt work on me and they wanted me dead cuz I wasnt listening. I went to my boss in an empty party room for kids bdays cuz again thats where we worked and it told her everything and she didnt do much except urge me to run. working at this place was a fucking maze and all I did was get lost all over the elevators and ride them all over. 

there were so many people at the parks it was crazy. a lot happened that I am forgetting but pretty much I was on the run and there was a lot of action and I kept trying to evade the evil ass governemnt. 

I decided to lay low and go home to my parents. I quit my job to work at their restaurant as a server and as I was cleaning tables, I realized none of us were social distancing anymore and I assumed that covid19 was no more. I was serving this table of customers who were rude but then I realized they outted me to the government and I was on the run again. I wanted to find out how to get them to stop listening to me and be free of the evil government. 

the end

thatmanchris :

And it was that day he became the dragon warrior

strangeparker :

gay-irl :

Gay_irl

luvmangosdope :

dez7290 :

leoonyz :

leoonyz :

😁😁😁😁

Nice couple…

🤣

I’m this type of parent 😂

wickedwonderlandd :

Hazel was FUCKING DONE

those-arent-poppies :

hangtimemillionaire :

unrestrained summer fun

sixpenceee :

This cup for sake changes its color when filled with hot beverage - and  the sakura starts blooming! Via @Japan_Vibe

lmao had a dream I was a power ranger

I was living with all my roommates again in a house that was a combo of my grandmas two old houses. we were all chillin and cleaning and then I get a call that I am needed then I appear on a battle field.

so many rangers were lost by this evil teenager mutant that had the powers of all the villains combined. so many hero’s had to pass off their powers to others but no one could stand up to them.

finally, I gathered every single power ranger in one area to come up with a war plan and I led the revolution for good. we flew we fought we had swords and weapons there were colors and teamwork, it was my childhood dream (lol) come true

it was amazing.

more dreeeeaaammmmsss

1. my old roommate kar worked for this really early stage fashion start up and was like ya join! and without thinking, I quit my job to join cuz apparently I just wanted to leave my company so bad.

I started my first day and instantly regretted it. I didn’t know what my job was, they weren’t profitable, it was a super small team, I don’t know shit about the industry, i had zero benefits, and didn’t even know how much I got paid. I was so stupid to leave a paying job with benefits and insurance and pto.

since I had no direction in my job I decided to make direction. I was going to convince them to let me be head of HR so I can figure out what all these things looked like for myself, current employees, and future employees. I was being optimistic and paving my own way!

at the same time, I moved out of my apartment to move into a single bedroom for myself. it was super cheap and close to work but was in a super bad sketchy part of the neighborhood. it was an apartment on top of what resembled china town street markets and I thought it was just me but turns out it was a shared studio with this weirdo guy. and leading up to it I had to walk past gangsters and crackheads.

I had one of my little brothers with me and we went to the market downstairs to get food but around the corner was a sketchy parking lot and I was like ok yeah not safe. kars bf evan was driving s truck and too preoccupied with hosting their cousins that kar went along and didn’t say anything bout the job to me anymore.

I felt so stupid making these two moves and I told myself i’d rather be jobless and homeless than choose these two new things. I went to my other roommates house cuz I really needed to poop and it was like explosive poop lol. she came into the bathroom as I did my thang and kar joined and apologized for the shitty-ness (lol) and I optimistically said it was ok and woke up in huge relief.

2. it was just me and my little sisters bf at home alone cuz everyone left. we decided to go see a movie and he made a dinner ressie cuz we didn’t have anything to do. the theater was super packed and huge so we had to walk to the front of the theaters to get a seat. I ran into my aunty phuong there and he decided to take her seat while she and i moved to the back.

we sat down and the show started and it turned out to be a live SNL skit. it was so good and funny and beyoncé was the host (lol of course). they were pulling guests from the crowd up for a dancing competition and naturally i went up there to dance with bey. turns out they were promo-ing a huge snl special where the entire cast of the show from all years were putting together a themed competition to see who throws the best skit.

they introd all the celebrity and guest actors and it was huge and insane with so many people in the audience and on stage. they said to tune in the next day and the show ended and people started to leave. my sisters bf was anal about getting to dinner on time so we had to leave but my aunt and I needed to use the restroom which was big but had small stalls and was gross. I got out and the three of us walked thru the crowd and ran into another auntie of mine who was being rude to my other aunt that was with me (they’re on opposite sides of the fam)

I tried to diffuse it and just leave but all of a sudden I lost my phone. my little brother ran up to me outta no where and had it so we decided to sit down at a table so I can help him with his hw???? my aunt left and jacob was giving me attitude and I tried to scare him but he gave me attitude back and went into my sisters bf car and the end

holy shit I had so many dreams last night i’ll try to remember all of them

1. I went traveling across seas and either went to vietnam or italy or both but then couldn’t find a way back. somehow I ended up in vegas and was so close to getting home to sf but there was no way to get back cuz of the quarantine but luckily found a bus that was headed to california so I hopped on.

the bus was huge and had different sections so I decided to sit in the front which was for like priority people and turns out beyoncé was sitting there. we spoke and I got to be real cool with her cuz we bonded over being virgos and she’s like alright I like u. so she snapped her fingers and I got to eat a steak and lobster dinner w her on the bus which then turned into a private jet???

2. I got home and my roommate wanted to hangout but again no way to get there. I called an uber but that shit was so expensive and the driver was fucking rude. I ended up telling him off and he dropped me off at denny’s. my two coworkers who I always have weekly dinners with were there to have dinner together but didn’t invite me (ouch). but i was like it’s ok gotta see my roommate who was living in a house styled as my grandmas house.

we were gonna have a movie night but she’s was super dirty and there was no place for me to sit so I was like uhhh gtg bye

3. then I started hanging out with Wheein and Hwasa from mamamoo and we were chilllliiiinnnnn. wheein started dating this stupid guy from terrace house that I hated and hwasa thought he was ok too but wheein loved him but because kpop is so intense it was hard for them to be together.

the four of us ended up going to this traditional japanese house for dinner which was also a spa and law firm and our waitress-lawyer came up and said to the guy: if u wanna date wheein you have to sign a dating prenup. wheein and hwasa left me at the table to talk about it and I just sat there with him for a while. they came back and wheein left with him and idk what happened after cuz I slightly woke up

4. I was invited to join a netflix dating experiment where they invite men and women of all sexualities to date and find the one. you do a series of challenges and then go on a date. the one I remembered was we had to go to space for something but after we landed on earth I had to get ready for a date and look cute.

there were only three gays including me and we essentially went on a three way date and had a three way relationship. the asian guy was one of shirleys high school friends and the other was a white nerdy ish guy. we had dinner and they were playing porn in tv?? like I saw a (hot) white guy with a huge dick come and everyone laughed cuz it was so normal? anyway a coworker i hate was sitting at my table and I gave her stank eye but she wouldn’t leave like at all.

after din we had to go back and pack our things to live with each other to see how it goes and my two new boyfriends were so eager but I was like taking my time packing. I was hanging out with a girl contestant who had a producer come cuz their was an issue with a guy but idk what.

anyway that’s all I can remember and will come back if and when more come to me k thanks byeeee

had a dream that involved so much death and pain

my cousin died and I couldn’t attend his funeral so I facetimed his sister and everyone was upset I couldn’t come, but in truth I was also trying to avoid talking or seeing that side of the family

a friends boyfriend died and everyone tried to comfort her but she asked that none of us overdo it and not to send her things. she had so many photos and sandwiches (his fave food) sent to her but I made a stone statue of bubbles (art) to her

I went to a rihanna fashion show where there were kpop performances and when I left my grandma was outside and trying to take the bus home. I was gonna take it with her but then I saw my auntie outside waiting to talk to me (because i’m mad at her irl) but I decided to leave my grandma with her and walk off. she yelled for me but I told her I lost trust and can’t speak to her anymore

I know why I had all of these and they all reflect what’s happening irl but i’m honestly unsure about what to do and what I want from it.

planetafiyu :

Artist: Nyjee Eiddiw | Instagram, DevianArt

saved a plane from a terrorist - this man who was abusing his wife and kept people hostage had them try to step off a ledge and kill themselves while he was on a plane. I was on the plane when I took him down and then carried his body and jumped off the plane. as we got closer to the ground I threw him down and he was paralyzed. I had like “element” powers so I used them to fly over and save the two groups of hostages.

I went to this big nice mansion house and hung out there after. I ended up staying there to hang out and it was the same house I had been in before in a previous dream. I didn’t have my phone on me the whole time so my mom called into the house and told people to tell me to 1. don’t mess with the ghost and 2. go to this store to buy things for this girl who was being demostically abused and leave it in a box for her so she can have the things she needs and I would be unseen by her abuser buying it for her.

before I left I tried to fight and battle and argue with the ghost who was haunting me and the house. it was in the big living room where I also kept my stuff and clothes. I kept yelling at it but my step dad kept being afraid and yelled at me to stop. he added a door and lock to the living room and didn’t let anyone in. he was so worried that I kept challenging it and that’s why he locked that space up.

I finally left and went to go buy this girl her things. when I got there I just kept observing the space to identify the victim and the abuser. I got the girl all her things, left it in the box, walked away, and saw her grab it and go back to her bf. she made an elaborate meal for him and he still tried to beat her. I stepped in to try and save but then woke up

things to note: weird that I was in the same house I was in before and this was not the first time I tried challenging a ghost or spirit aggressively. also weird I dreamt of two instances of domestic abuse.

this week/today was a mix of good and bad

the bad: (fortunately not a lot)

- TWO times: I referred a friend to my company and the recruiter she was supposed to have a call with flaked on her and didn’t say anything. Similarly, I referred my best friend to my sisters brow business and my sister tried to flake on her. Both my friend and my best friend texted and called me and made a big stink about it. I didn’t know what to do or how to fix it, I just felt completely embarrassed that it turned out this way

the good:

- I took on a new project for work and did really well

- I got a project that I’ve owned for over a year to move forward and now I have complete ownership over it

the bizarre but cool:

- got texts and calls from a bunch of random friends that I don’t normally talk to and I love it

had a dream spice adams and i was hanging out (lol)

hrough a huge house party at my old house on rose vista, my boss sarah moved in with me cuz her boat house sunk, everyone left the house so I went to my grandmas to throw the party there, vieanna delivered me hella weed (lmao i’m always dreaming that she’s dealing drugs) and my bio dad came thru and tried to talk to me but I kept yelling at him and avoiding him and telling him how I hate him and how we will never have a relationship

lmao the escalation

had a dream:

1. I was playing hide n seek in a huge mansion and had the powers to hide similar to spider-man’s (wall climbing, web, campflauge, etc.)

2. my mom sent me on a solo vacation trip by myself but then later sent her “boyfriend” to go w me but it was really this hot I stagram model guy with a big dick (asian, jwu)