@incorrectawswquotes

Kevin: “Weird” is just a setting on my dryer.

Player: What does it do?

Kevin: Make my clothes wetter.

Player: That is weird.

The player: It's not actually me who is complaining, it's, uh, the dragons.
Reza: Fuck the dragons!
The player: I do.
Reza: ...ew.

This is why I hated my first two years in the force: No one knew who was the sluttiest. But I showed them. Oh, I showed them all.
Bryce

Anna: My opinion of myself isn’t that high.

Adine: You literally just called yourself a “sexy vagabond with authority issues and a taste for the finer things in life.”

Anna: And every single word of that was true.

Player: Stalling? I’m not stalling anything.

Reza: Yes, you are.

Player: No, I’m not.

Reza: Yes, you are. You’re doing it right now.

Player: Stalling?

Reza: Stalling!

Izumi, eating popcorn in the side room: Oh, boy.

Player, teaching Anna how to drive: Okay, you’re driving, and Maverick and Remy walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit?

Anna: Oh, definitely Remy. I could never hurt Maverick.

Player:

Player: The brakes, Anna. You hit the brakes.

Ipsum: My goal is not to be the best, but to inspire someone enough to one day surpass me.

Lorem: Ipsum, you can’t just say that every time I beat you at Connect Four.

The truth is, in the end, I’m pretty useless without friends.
The player after trying to confront Reza alone

Anna: The Fahrenheit defenders have logged on.

Ipsum: My defense of Fahrenheit is that 69° is ideal weather in Fahrenheit but dead people weather in Celsius.

Anna: Great news, everyone! I have decided to endorse Fahrenheit.

The player: It's kind of funny how everyone thinks that their timeline is the original timeline. You never meet anyone from a parallel universe who says "I always wondered why we called it Earth Two."
Sebastian: How many people from other timelines have you met?
The player: Oh, not too many, Sebastian 12.5.

Sebastian: How long have you been an ambassador?

Player: What time is it?

Sebastian: It’s 12:22 a.m.

Player: About seven hours.

You think killing people would make them like you, but it doesn’t. It just makes them dead.
The player, to Reza

Adine: Ambassador, you’re like an angel with no wings!

Player: So, like, a human.

The player: Apparently, I'm getting a new cousin.
Anna: Are you stealing them?
Ipsum: New or used?
The player: Wonderful responses, both of you.

Amely: I’ll be up late. I have homework.

Anna: You’re in preschool.

Amely: I have to color in this whole picture.

Anna, mockingly: I’ll put on some coffee.

Adine: Stop it! Do you want me to never talk to you again?!
Anna:
Adine: What?
Anna: Hang on, I'm considering.

Anna: In 20 years, I guarantee you, I will be the human’s second wife.

Player: What happened to my first wife?

Anna: Nothing you can prove.

Bryce, sliding a photo across the table: I want you to shoot this guy in the leg.
The player: ...this is a photo of you.
Bryce: Sebastian and Naomi want me to try zumba.

Bryce: Why is my badge in the freezer?

Player: You said “this is gonna confuse me so much tomorrow”. Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.

Bryce: That explains so much.

The player: Let's play twenty questions!
Adine: Okay, I'll start. What's your favorite color?
The player: Carrots, my turn. Are you single?

Lorem: Paper has six sides, yet we can only use two of them effectively.

Anna: The other four are for bloodshed.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m wanted in thirteen different states for accounts of home invasion from the years 20X4 to 20X9 and the state of Hawaii declared a manhunt for me after I stole their governor’s favorite boat.
Reza

I’m anxious, and alarmed, and I don’t know why!
Everybody when the deja vu kicks in

Ipsum: I have a science headcanon!

Anna: Can you just say you have a hypothesis like a normal person?

Ipsum: So my science headcanon is…

Sebastian: We're not going to question this?
The player: If it's important, it'll come back to bite us.

Maverick: So I got kicked off the case for good because I am apparently a “liability” and “reckless” and “Maverick”.

Maverick: That’s just my name, but you should hear their tone.

I’m no longer going to be the bigger person. If you annoy or upset me in any way, I will just bite you like a rat.
Anna

Anna: I’m starting therapy tomorrow and I’ve been trying to think of power moves I could make towards the therapist.

Anna: I’m leaning towards bringing a notepad with me and taking notes on it whenever they take notes and then eating the paper at the end of the session.

Player, head in their hands: Anna, this. This is the reason you have to go to therapy.

Lorem: Is that a statue of Sir Walter Raleigh in your room?
Ipsum: Yes.
Lorem: Why?
Ipsum: Is there any possible explanation you could find satisfactory?
Lorem: No.

(Adine is talking to frozen fish at the store)

Player: Yeah, it’s a little weird, but it’s her selection process.

Lorem: It’s like The Bachelorette, except at the end, the one she chooses gets eaten.

Anna: That’s what happens on the real Bachelorette, too. They just don’t show it on camera.