@incorrectseekerquestquotes

Seeker: Is that a statue of Sir Walter Raleigh?
Rul: Yes.
Seeker: Why?
Rul: Is there any possible explanation you could find satisfactory?
Seeker: No.

Seeker: Do you have any books about turtles?
Fen: Hardback?
Seeker: Yeah, with little heads.

Mim: Hello, 911? Yes, I've stepped on my cat's paw. I need to be arrested immediately.
Operator: Ma'am, we've talked about this.

Seeker: What is toothpaste, if not bone soap?
Fen: Existence is a prison, and being your friend is maximum security.

Seeker: Get in the Halloween spirit and make a ghost!
Fen: That's called murder, and last I heard, it was illegal.

Seeker: Does anyone know any cool history facts?
Mim: Yeah.
Seeker: Whoa, that's such a cool fact.

Fen: Coca-Cola can remove rust from metal. Imagine what it's doing to your body.
Seeker: Pff, getting rid of the rust, idiot.
Fen: That's not how it works.
Seeker: Hmmm... I've been drinking soda and my body's rust-free... not sure where you're getting your facts from.
Fen: Blood is rust. Hemoglobin is made up of vitamins, minerals (iron), oxygen... that equals rust. You're literally running rust through your veins... along with plasma, which is about 92%. Just an informative comment.
Seeker: Awful bold of you to assume I have blood.

Seeker: You should take up a hobby, such as woodworking or knitting.
Fen: I don't know how to knit.
Seeker: Perhaps you should learn. It would be good for you.
Fen: I can't learn how to knit. You're a terrible person and I hate you.
Seeker: You know what would be a good hobby? Collecting rocks.
Fen: I'm not going to collect rocks.
Seeker: As you seem to be incapable of learning anything, I have taken the liberty of finding you a hobby. You should find it in your mailbox.
Fen: You put rocks in the mail?
Seeker: I put a rock in the mail. I hope you like it.

Seeker: What if Cinderella was a chef instead of a maid, and instead of Cinderella, they called her Mozzarella?
Fen: Please don't ever speak to me again.

Mim: What's the worst food crime each of you have committed?
End: I... uh... food crimes? Um... I have a certain affinity for chewy granola cereal bars, which are such a sad, sad substance. Oh, and any cakes... whoosh!
Rul: I once saw her eat an entire cake in one sitting at a bake sale. Legitimately, it was just a bit surreal.
Fen: I would say my worst food crime would be, uh, God... augh! I made these vegan enchiladas out of pinto beans and rice for every meal until one point where I couldn't do that anymore. I combined, like, an entire loaf of bread with a jar of peanut butter and some jelly and no utensil. Just shoved it all into my mouth. It was disgusting.
Seeker: I eat my cereal with ranch dressing!
Mim: ...I see.

Fen: Fun fact: blueberries are the only fruit named after a color.
Seeker: Starfruit?
Fen: So close! That is a shape.

Fen: You're up to something.
Seeker: What makes you think I'm-
Fen: You're breathing.

End: What're you doing?
Seeker: I'm writing my autobiography.
End: But you're just one day old.
Seeker: I've only got one sheet of paper.

Seeker: I'm gonna dip a clementine in ranch.
Fen, disgusted: Why do you hate Jesus?
Seeker: Jesus is my homeboy, but God has a lot to answer for and my rebellion will continue until he has done so.

Seeker: Can I have these question mark stickers?
Fen: Why?
Seeker, running outside: I wanna put them on stop signs!
Fen, chasing her: Seeker, no!

When you agree with me, it makes me question if I’m right.
Fen, to Seeker

Fen: Seeker, can I speak to you in private?
Seeker: Ooh, someone's in trouble!
Fen:
Seeker:
Seeker: It's me. I don't know why I did that.

Attention, passengers, this is your pilot speaking. We’re going to be experiencing some heavy turbulence shortly, so please strap in. Rul just bet that I couldn’t do a 360 barrel roll in this thing, and let’s just say I’m gonna be twenty dollars richer real soon.
Seeker

Fen: Good job setting up the tent.
Seeker: Ahem.
Fen:
Fen, sighing: Boneless hotel.

Seeker: So... come here often?
Architect:
Architect: This is my fucking house.

End: So what's it like, working with Seeker?
Fen: Imagine working with a completely civilized, responsible, and mature person.
End: Okay?
Fen: Now throw that right out of the window.

Fen: Quiet!
Seeker: Do you hear something?
Fen: No, I just want you to be quiet.

Seeker: Is the Kool-Aid Man the jar or the liquid?
End: What?
Seeker: IS THE KOOL-AID MAN THE JAR OR THE LIQUID?
Fen: Oh, God, not again.

Seeker: Hell, yeah, you get in that leaf juice. You sexy, sexy bee sauce.
Fen, watching her put honey in her tea: Do you take constructive criticism?
Seeker: I absolutely fucking don't.

Seeker: Don't worry, I have a plan.
Fen: That's what I'm worried about.

Seeker: If you think Thursdays are depressing, then wait two days.
Fen: ...why?
Seeker: Because it'll be a sadder day.

It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.
Seeker

Seeker: You know what I've realized?
Fen: That some thoughts are better left unexpressed?
Seeker: Nice try. Anyway-

Fen: Ugh, I hate this song.
Seeker: Well, you have to admit it's catchy!
Fen: The Bubonic Plague was catchy, doesn't mean it's good.

Seeker: I love how we're always on the same page.
Fen: Same page? We're not reading the same book. You're not even reading any book at all.