For those who wondered about Bun-Bun. It’s almost been a year. I hope he’s hopping around in Bun-Bun heaven.
Guess who’s back? And not just back from the grave this time.
I’m getting over my blue period and getting over people who make me feel worthless and unwanted. Instead, I’m going to focus on some new shit. Mostly, I’m just around to keep an eye out on a nameless somebody. Somebody I want to protect in some weird way, I guess. Not that he’ll ever know, this is some pretty top secret shit.
Ugh, you’re such a pain.
Why do people even follow my miserable, invisible ass. Please don’t. I’m not even worth your time.
It’s awful being dead. Or… it’s awful being a ghost. It’s like all the benefits of disappearing forever are stripped away from you leaving only numb, crippling awareness.
I knew I’d die soon when I broke up with… I knew I’d die and I knew she’d be happier with someone else…
I was a terrible boyfriend. I worked too hard and I was always so terrified that she secretly would have been happier all along with him. He’s smarter, cooler, funnier, and just… better than I am. Of course, she always told me that my fears had no basis in reality. But now that I’m dead, I’m left with the awareness that… my fears were correct. I didn’t expect her moving on so quickly and so fully to the one person I could never measure up to would hurt so badly and now that she no longer even follows this blog, I feel like I’m free to express that.
I left home to tend to my dying mother and I left behind someone who loved me, a dog, and a brand new piano. Let me tell you about that piano - I worked so many hours to afford that piece of shit. To the point where I was, yet again, neglectful to her. i was chasing some stupid dream that if I could just afford that, I could be with her more. I regret that.
I wish I would have at least played with Tessie one last time before trading my life for my mother’s. I’ll never see him again.
I hate that I didn’t just die for good and disappear forever.
Never trust a Cipher.
have you ever felt so worthless you could disappear
Is it weird that I like being dead more than I liked being alive? Everything’s easier and I’m completely unattached to anything… And I’m only seen if I want to be.
I may be dead but I still look rad as fuck in a pair of cable knit tights and a cute skirt. Just saying. One great looking dude ghost, coming through.
You also look totally invisible to humans so people are looking at the floating clothes not you. Hell they probably think you’re a doll ghost or something.
You’re a fucking dick. Joke’s on you though, I don’t give a fuck.
I may be dead but I still look rad as fuck in a pair of cable knit tights and a cute skirt. Just saying. One great looking dude ghost, coming through.
“It’ll make him happy though,” he kissed his forehead “looks like he’s got a bright future, anyway. I’m just looking forward to what he’s picked out for me. Hey! Maybe our outfits will match!”
Billy scanned over Nick’s schedule “No wonder you’re usually not here. Okay, these ones are mine right? Oh, so that’s why he didn’t say anything to me about Halloween,” Billy was doing a show that night. He was conflicted for a moment. He told the kid he would spend the holiday with him but, on the other hand, performing was his favorite thing to do.
“Get lots of candy for me, alright?”
“Yeah, those are yours. Hmm… I hope you can actually read it. I’ve got some pretty awful handwriting… Usually I’m the only one who has to make sense of it.” He said in an apologetic tone. “Ah… You don’t have to perform if you don’t want to… If you want to spend time with Bill instead. Or we can all spend some time together before the show… Maybe for an hour or so if we head out early. It’s up to you. Either way there’ll be plenty of candy, your brother’s been scouting the neighborhoods and coming up with a ‘battle strategy.’ He’s going to end up with more candy than he can eat.”
Bill paused for a moment, pulling a very Jack-like move and reaching to touch a tie that wasn’t currently on him. Both he and Jack shared the trait of having a sort of wearable security blanket - for Jack, his glasses and for Bill, his tie. Realizing his throat was bare, Bill settled for fiddling with his gloves. “You know, he’s got this crazy idea in his head now that he’s going to start his own circus or something. I blame you despite the fact that I’m the one who took him to see his first performance. You’re a terrible influence. He and Lele are taking gymnastics now. He’s actually not doing too bad, I take them every now and then. Looks like whatever one of them does, the other one wants to do too.”
“I’m morbidly curious! Can you give me a hint?”
Seconds later he was struggling for breath. He put a finger in his collar to give himself some air. ”I dunno,” he coughed “I could used to it…if I had a reason.” He smiled “But not alla the time. Not even mosta the time. Gotta keep the Billy Mischief look. Speaking of! When’s my next show, Manager?”
“The hint is your brother is cruel.” Bill said with a bit of a huff, pushing Billy’s hand away from his collar. “Don’t do that, you’ll mess up the knot I worked so hard tying for you. Anyway, what was I… oh, right… You have a cruel brother. But now that I think about it, what child isn’t a bit cruel at that age? In fact, I don’t think I ever really grew out of it…”
Bill idly wrapped his arms around Billy and rested his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder. “You don’t need to get used to it. I prefer that you wear what you like best, honestly. Except for right now. Right now, I’m rather fond of that look on you.” He straightened up a bit when Billy mentioned his next show and released Billy. A calendar appeared in his arms. Every single day seemed to be jam packed with colour coded activities from ‘visit Francine, finalize deal’ to 'birthday of demon whose name I constantly forget.’ In bright pink, were various dates relating to Billy’s shows, however. “Well, here’s your line up… I guess you can borrow my calender… I haven’t written them down elsewhere.”
Billy wore the tie loosely “I never really liked these kind of ties…too formal- no sass…” he spent a few minutes trying to recreate the knot that Nick used before being forced into a kiss. He giggled and smooched him back.
Billy glared over at Robert “We didn’t ask for an audience. Why don’t you go do, like, ghost things?”
“Yeah? You should see the outfit your brother is making me wear on Halloween… I’m actually dreading having to wear it but a promise is a promise…” He mumbled, shifting to tie the tie in an eldredge knot before stopping and untying it completely.
“Trinity… I’ll tie it into a trinity knot… That suits you better. You look handsome in a tie.” He said, tightening the neckwear up just a tad too much on purpose as Robert casually decided to ignore the demonic duo in favour of trying to manipulate small objects around the room. “I should take a picture, this is probably the only time I’ll see you in a respectable tie.”
Hearing this, Billy looked closer at Robert’s nose to see if the damage was still visible. Then Nick spoke.
The younger demon grinned and put his arm around the elder “Hey now, I thought I was the handsome one! Anyway, what’s thing about magnets? Opposites attract? Nick keeps me grounded and I help Nick have a good time. Sometimes.”
He winked “What kind of muzzle?”
“I’m definitely more handsome - my clothing is much nicer.” Bill said, finishing his overly sweet, cinnamon-y fall flavoured coffee, placing the cup in midair, and reaching for his tie. He idly began to remove the accessory and turned to Billy, removing his bow tie and replacing it with his own tie “My tie is better than your sad excuse for neck wear as well. Ah… See? Doesn’t that look better?”
The demon offered Billy a smile before tugging him closer by his borrowed tie and planting a kiss on him. “You’re an idiot.”
“You two are ridiculous…” Robert mumbled, floating over to the piano again and looking it over.
Even in death, I still barely have time to relax. What’s with that?
This actually made good practical sense to Billy- better to have a key around you could control than one whose identity you didn’t even know.
He glared at Robert, and then said “See what I mean when I said Wendy shoulda broke up with him quicker? You should invest in a muzzle for him. Shut his yap.”
“Well, if it makes you feel any better about the speed in which my relationship shattered apart, she did at least break my nose.” Robert offered. “Anyway, speaking of dating annoying teens… how the hell have you two lasted this long? You might think I'm bad but, I mean… come on.”
“Billy might be an annoying idiot but he isn’t too bad. He brings me coffee.” Bill responded, a bit teasingly. “In exchange, I guess I hit people for him and look strikingly handsome. It’s the definition of a perfect relationship - a mutual arrangement that benefits both parties. Though I should probably be investing in a muzzle for the both of you, honestly…”
Billy giggled “So he is your pet! That is so cunnin’!” He flashed into the kitchen, and flashed back with two cups of coffee, one of which he handed over to Nick. ”Hey pal, why are our keys people anyway? Why not like, chairs or something?” He thought for a moment “And what would have happened tot he broken heart if Robert hadn’t become a ghost?”
Bill looked at the coffee for a little after accepting it. The coffee lightened rather dramatically and a spoon appeared in the cup. The demon idly stirred the contents of the coffee cup - plenty of sugar and pumpkin spice creamer… t'was the season, after all.
“If they were chairs that’d be pretty dumb… and I suppose someone else would fill his position eventually… I’ve never really thought about it. I just know that him being around like this means that he’s still it.”
“I…is there even any coffee in your sugar…?” Robert asked, suddenly behind Bill. “Seriously. Damn. I thought I was bad.”
“Nobody asked you.”
“Sure…” Billy said, cocking his head, then sighed “well, let me put it this way: Wendy should have broke up with him way sooner than she did. But he did manage to make some music on that thing,” he pointed to the piano “I’ll consider that progress.”
“That’s a strange way to put it but at least there was some progress. By the way, if you were wondering why I didn’t take his soul and be done with it, there are two main reasons. The first is that it just wasn’t nice enough to look at-”
“…And the second reason is that I figured having one of my universe’s… symbols, I suppose you’d call them… well, I figured keeping him around would be useful. Robert’s the broken heart.”
“That’s fucking poetic.”
“Nobody asked for a running commentary, Robert.”
Billy opened his mouth, shrugged, and said “Uh, yes and no? I used to think demons didn’t even have souls but apparently that’s a common misconception. But honestly I’m so melded in and confused up with Triangulum by now that I don’t think you’d be able to find where me ends and Triangulum begins.”
Speaking of that weird dichotomy “Oh, Nick! There you are! Where did ya go to?” Then, chuckling at Robert “Wow, you’d thing a ghost would have some kinda sense for invisible stuff…like radar or something.”
“I was hungry.” Bill shrugged. “I had a snack and took a shower. And I buried a body but that really isn’t too important.”
“Why would I have a radar for invi- he wasn’t even invisible! He just showed up!” The teen complained, floating up until he was over the piano. “You don’t even make sense.”
Bill stepped over to Billy and kissed his cheek. “So, how was babysitting?”
“Wow, snob,” he glared at the ghost “and you act like I have some kinda obligation to disappear after I die. I don’t have a human soul, yanno?”
"Really? You don’t have a human soul? I mean, I guess that shouldn’t be surprising… but I thought you were born a human… Huh. I probably just jumped to conclusions or something… Whoops.”
A moment later, a familiar blonde haired, blue-eyed face appeared beside the ghost teen. “Boo."
"Augh! What the fuck!” Robert cried, disappearing again and reappearing halfway through the piano. “You know what, both of you can go to hell.”
“Haven’t heard that one before.” Bill replied, rolling his eye. “Hey, Billy.”
He preened at the asshole comment, “I see that ‘song’ fits me perfectly, then!” Then stuck his tongue out “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Then you wouldn’t be the new ghost on the block anymore.” He shrugged “Forget the organ- for now. Tackle the others. Yanno some ghosts can split themselves up. Maybe you can be a whole other-worldly band!”
“I can’t play any of this shit… nor would I ever really want to. I’m instrument picky.” He replied. “And… wait, you wouldn’t even be a ghost. You’d be a demon. That comment didn’t even make sense. I would still be the ‘new ghost’ and you’d just be some asshole demon who refused to disappear.”
“Yeah right, pal! Look around you! It’s 1930! Everyone says hot-diggity-dawg!”
He thought for second, then said “Yanno,usually ghosts get time displaced to the future. You must be setting a record or something.” He cocked his head, then then shrugged, and caused all the keys on the piano to crash down. The resulting noise caused the walls to even vibrate a little “Something like that?”
“Okay, so we need some instruments that stay with they are. How about,” he spoke as he flashed them into existence, “a drum set, a xylophone, bongos, oh! I know! A pipe organ! Ghosts love playing those!” He did not cause one of these to appear, but instead looked around the room “Where would I put a thing that size, though?”
“Okay, then you’re all huge losers. Not sure what point you’re trying to prove here.” The teen said with a shrug. Before he could respond to his status as a not-quite-living anachronism, however; the sound of each and ever piano key being slammed down all at once made the dead mathlete nearly jump out of his transparent skin. With a yelp, he disappeared entirely and reappeared four feet back.
“Holy fucking shit, you’re an asshole!” The spooked spectre exclaimed, still reeling from the unexpected sound. He turned towards Billy who seemed to have jumped onto a new topic and quickly dodged a xylophone which had come way too close to intersecting with his leg for the teen’s tastes. Not that it would do anything to him… he just didn’t like it. “I know where you can put it - one foot over your head. After gravity takes hold, it’ll be right where I need it.”
“Well hot-dawg!” Billy commented and nodded “Aren’t you talented!” He was snapping his fingers in a moment “I should have got you a better piano. If nothing else, you’re a good invisible music-provider! Maybe we should try something else now? Say, isn’t the violin your forte?”
“Holy shit did you just use ‘hot dog’ as an expression? You’re the biggest fucking loser I’ve ever met - I mean, damn, you’ve got me beat.” He laughed. “I can try the violin but it’s going to be hard as hell to hold. I’m worried I’ll just drop it and break it.”
He glanced up from the piano and looked up at Billy. “You know, I bet if someone wrote a song on piano about you, it’d just be every key played at once.”
“As of now, no,” Billy reported, then he snapped his fingers. With a slight jangle of keys, a piano appeared in the room next to them, which Billy promptly floated into. Said piano was upright, the base carved from wood, and some of the keys worn. It may have been stolen from some other house, and was a bit out of tune, but it served a purpose if your only purpose some banging the keys to get a sound out of them.
“Looks like shit but I guess beggars can’t be assholes about this kinda shit, right?” He said, floating over and inspecting the piano for a moment before poising himself to play. As per usual, he failed repeatedly before he could even hit a key but this time, he didn’t feel angry and frustrated that he couldn’t touch the piano, he just felt determined.
The notes were short and strange, each sound disconnected until he was finally able to manipulate the keys consistently and churn out a melody. The piano might have been a bit shitty, but Robert was completely engrossed in it. He played a classical tune before remembering his company and quickly switching over to one of his favourite styles to play - ragtime.
“Ha, I might be dead but I’ve still got it!” He said, grinning over at the demon.
“Probably,” Billy said “I bet cowards have shitty souls by default. I mean if you never fight for anything, you never really are bad or good,” he shrugged “but I’ll be sure to ask. This whole situation has peaked my curiosity! Which makes me think, I guess we should practice some more before he gets back.”
“Yeah… what should I practie next? I guess at some point, I should try practice being heard by people but I can hold off on that… I guess I could practice interacting with objects again… hey, you got a piano anywhere around here?”
“I guess? But I’d rather learn how to be subtle. Or, if possible, flashy and manipulative at the same time.” He tapped his chin “I have a feeling figuring out souls will play into it. Who has a 2 soul and who has a 9 soul- that kind of thing.” He gazed at Robbie “Which makes me wonder why he didn’t take yours. Wish I knew what angle Nick was working.”
"Well, when you die you keep living, right? So you’ve basically got eternity to figure it out.” He shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe my soul is crap. I mean, that’s probably it. It really doesn’t make any sense any other way than that. When he gets back, why don’t you ask?”