he was in the fridge!!!
ovbiously this person has done so much research and cares about their tortoise so much but…. the mf idea of having a live tortoise in a TUPPERWARE?! IN MY FRIDGE?? WITH ME FOOD? ahahahaha
the concept of opening someone else’s fridge only to find a WHOLE ASS TORTOISE in there… idk if I’d ever recover
@esperantoauthor when the food doesn’t come to Tesla, Tesla comes to the food
Reminds me of when I accidentally stumbled across this photo for the first time…
mutuals put me in your fridge
Back in 2015, I went over to a classmate’s house for group project work late in the fall, and in the middle of working on the presentation, offered to grab sodas for people but they were out of pepsi and Andrew whose house we were at said “Oh, there’s more in the basement fridge.”
So I go down to the basement, which is well-lit and finished and indeed there are more pepsi but also in the fridge is a massive tortise. This animal was the dimensions of a desktop computer and probably outweighed a labrador. It’s not moving, and is set in the middle of a plastic tray so it’s apparently supposed to be there. I go back upstairs.
“Hey Andrew.” I say, nonchalantly. “So is the tortise in the fridge down there for soup or what?”
“The what?” says the other member of the group project. I don’t remember her name, just that she always wore her hair in pigtails with butterfly clips that were based on real butterflies and she had at least a dozen species.
“Oh! No, that’s Andrew Too.” he says. “His species hibernates so he stays in the fridge for the holidays.”
“You named your tortise after you?” I ask.
“No, uh- Well, my grandfather got him in Egypt or somewhere while he was on leave during the war and He was named Andrew, so he thought it would be funny to name him ‘Andrew Too’.
…Then Mom named me after him so Gandpa left me Andrew Too in his will. He’s pretty cool when he’s awake. Lets us dress him up for summer holidays, doesn’t bark.”
“Oh!” Said Butterflies. “My dad served in the Gulf War too! What unit was he in?”
“Oh no, Grandpa was with the Royal Air Force in World War Two. Andrew Too is going to be 70 this year! We’re going to make him a carrot cake!”
i type pretty much like exactly the way i talk so pray for the people who have to hear me say “like” five times in a phrase <3
boomers and gen x type like they’re writing a letter and millennials and gen z type like they’re scripting their own dialogue
we should bring back the supernatural fandom somehow having an extremely specific gif for literally every occasion though
i know you guys are still out there. i know you still have your .gif folders. don’t pretend you’re not.
you. you get it.
I… I just opened tumblr… got bored of it… closed tumblr… and then opened it again immediately….
[tumblr] is officially a fridge
the number of times i think about the full body viking skeleton i saw in the museum is ridiculous like when i say it haunts me i mean it actually haunts me
every time i remember the questions are endless — what was his name? what did his mother call him? what sounds did he wake up to? what sounds did he die to? how old was he when he died? how old when he fell in love? how old when he first fell out? who cried with him and laughed with him? who cried for him? how many miles of separation can i draw between my ancestors and him? was he kind, serious, jokey? was he sombre or impulsive? was he chatty and good-humoured or a cantankerous asshole? like…i have never stopped thinking about this.
the fact that at one point in time this was a living breathing person. with memories and petty hates and the dumbest jokes. and friends he loved. and the fact that he probably at some point burst out into drunken song or punched someone in an argument or GOT punched in an argument or tripped into the mud while his friends pissed themselves laughing or or or or…countless or‘s into infinity
and the fact that before all of that this massive skeleton was tiny toddler (was he scared of the dark? did he squabble with his siblings? did he have siblings?) who may or may not have hid behind his mother or probably got hoisted onto an adult’s shoulders and in his little mind thought this person was the strongest human in the world and that he could hold the whole sky up just by standing there like that and as long as he was up there he was king of the world or could be.
like…what am i supposed to do with this? what does ANYONE do with this? how are you supposed to cope with the enormity of this while at the same time realising just how tiny and fleeting our lives are? there is literally more than a THOUSAND years between us & ALL of it has been pinched down to a glass case not even 2 inches thick like…i’m losing my mind.
I got this feeling when I saw some petroglyphs on the side of a cliff like.. a human made those. That human felt all of the emotions I feel they went through the same universal human experience and they each had vivid internal lives and memories. Wild.
ok this is next level and i honestly…i honestly can’t
during my prehistory module we got given Roman pottery and roofing slabs that had thumb prints in the handles and I put my thumb over those thumb marks and cried in the middle of the tutorial
I do pottery, and it’s one of my favorite things about the medium: that you can often see the shape of someone’s fingers in the surface. I love it when someone just shoves a finger somewhere while throwing, and leaves it there as a place for YOU to put your finger. Little thumbrests on top of mug handles is a fave.
“How did you make those ridges like that on the outside? How did you make that spiral on the bottom?”
“With my fingers.”
All of this.
At Wells Cathedral in England the stairs down from the chapter house have had dips worn into their stone by centuries of human feet taking the most direct route up and down.
Thinking about the immense distances between the stars makes me panic, but looking back into human history gives me peace.
Reminds me of when we got to see this exposition on ancient egypt.
I was like, “Wow a real life papyrus!”
but then my mom said, clearly moved, “Wow, that’s someone’s handwriting.”
That moment when History becomes People.
“Why study History? If you don’t like knowing the models of every airplane and gun ever made for ww2 that’s how history nerds are”
Oh there is so much humanity reaching out to us to take us by the hands and say
“We dreamed of you and hoped you too would be!”
Fun statistical fact: Cows are about 300 times more likely to kill you than coyotes.
Minor sidenote to statistical fact: If it was common for people to keep several hundred coyotes on their property and routinely chase them into a corral and handle them, this statistic would be different.
this is a great summary of ‘conditional probability’, a statistical property many people grapple with
…I feel like this post just made me realize that both coconut trees and vending machines, items often quoted in wacky death statistics, are both things that people shake vigorously often.
i think it’s really amazing how total strangers who have nothing in common but their shared love of a work of fiction will come together across distances and dedicate their time and energy working collaboratively to build an extensive, richly detailed fanon that completely fucking sucks
you guys are so committed to being bad at interpreting things you’ll just straight up decide this post means the opposite of what i wrote and reblog it anyway
90% of writing advice can be thrown out the window for your first draft.
Show don’t tell? Ignore.
Basic grammar and punctuation? Unnecessary.
Physical descriptions of characters? Don’t need to bother.
Solid plot? That’s for later.
The words don’t come as fast when you’re thinking of the best way to put them together. It doesn’t have to be pretty, or much more than inconsistent nonsense. The point is to have it exist.
Effective storytelling is for subsequent drafts! Go write some nonsense!
As a hyper-perfectionist human, THIS is a piece of advice I wish I’d internalized a hell of a lot sooner. If I hadn’t overwhelmed myself by considering every little thing, starting over when it gets “too messy”… there’s no doubt in my mind I’d have a first draft by now.
Now, passion is the only thing I care about in my first draft.
when i’m writing fiction, the main rule i try to stick to is that: the first draft is where i write what’s important to me.
this usually means character arcs and deep ethical and political debates for me, but for some people it’s gonna be physical description or in-depth plotting or Whatever
your subsequent drafts are where you fill in the gaps and make things make sense, but that first draft should be everything you personally care about, and don’t worry much about the rest
Also? PRE. 👏 WRITE. 👏 THINGS. 👏
Got a scene in mind? Don’t try to fit it into your draft, just write it in a separate file and save it.
Got some witty dialogue on deck? Jot it down and keep it in your pocket!
Settings? Character development? Plot point ideas? Dramatic scenes? Write it all down! Keep a prewriting file, or two, or three, or however many you need. It doesn’t matter if what you put in them makes sense, or is totally disjointed, or whether it gets used at all.
Get those ideas in writing. Do NOT trust yourself to remember a great idea six weeks, two days, or fifteen minutes from now when you’ve got time to work it into the larger story. If you get ideas while you’re out and about or at work, keep a notepad in your pocket or text them to yourself.
Keep a treasure trove of all those wonderful fiddly bits that make your writing unique. You never know when they’ll come in handy!
Enjoy a little restoration of your faith in humanity
Oh my goodness, the woman who gave him the hot pack, this is adorable
Well now I’m crying
“Its hard for the younger generations these days isn’t it” i have never heard any adult say that in my entire life bless this video
UNMUTE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!
THE DICKHEADS ARE STUNNED
Transcript: [In an australian accent: “This poor cat is stuck down the end of an alleyway and it’s getting bullied by a bunch of fuckin’ street toughs. They’re like, just tell us where you’re stashing the dead mice! But little do they know,” The voice picks up in volume, “THAT THERE MESSING WITH THE WRONG FUCKING CAT! He is OUT of here! What a sensational get away! The dickheads are stunned. There’s a rebound, a high jump, and then he stays low at the end. He’s like, eat my dust you fuck-knuckles! To quite the famous Australian commentator, Dennis Camedy(?), this is CENTIMETER PERFECT.”, laughing, “Sensational!”]
ozzyman is the commentator we need in our daily lives
Hot take: Actual literary analysis requires at least as much skill as writing itself, with less obvious measures of whether or not you’re shit at it, and nobody is allowed to do any more god damn litcrit until they learn what the terms “show, don’t tell” and “pacing” mean.
The “pacing” of a piece of media comes down to one thing, and one thing only, and it has nothing to do with your personal level of interest. It comes down to this question alone: Is the piece of media making effective use of the time it has?
So, for example, things which are NOT a example of bad pacing include a piece of media that is:
- A slow burn
- Prioritizing character interaction over intricate plot
- Opening in medias res without immediate context
- Incorporating a large number of subplots
- Incorporating very few subplots
Bad pacing IS when a piece of media has
- “Wasted” time, ie, screentime or page space dedicated to plotlines or characters that are ultimately irrelevant to the plot or thematic resolution at the cost of properly developing that resolution. Pour one out for the SW:TCW fans.
- The presence of a sidestory or giving secondary characters a separate resolution of their personal arc is not “bad writing,” and only becomes a pacing issue if it falls into one of the other two categories.
- Not enough time, ie, a story attempts to involve more plotlines than it has time or space to give satisfying resolutions to, resulting in all of them being “rushed” even though the writer(s) made scrupulous use of every second of page/screentime and made sure every single section advanced those storylines.
- Padding for time, ie, Open-World Game Syndrome. Essentially, you have ten hours of genuinely satisfying story….but “short games don’t sell,” so you insert vast swathes of empty landscape to traverse, a bunch of nonsense fetch quests to complete, or take one really satisfying questline and repeat it ten times with different names/macguffins, to create 40 hours of “gameplay” that have stopped being fun because the same thing happens over and over. If you think this doesn’t happen in novels, you have never read Oliver Twist.
Another note on pacing: There are, except arguably in standalone movies, at least two levels of pacing going on at any given time. There’s the pacing within the installment, and the pacing within the series. Generally, there’s three levels of pacing–within the installment (a chapter, an episode, a level), within the volume (a season, a novel, a game), and within the series as a whole. Sometimes, in fact FREQUENTLY, a piece of media will work on one of these levels but not on all of them. (Usually the ideal is that it works on all three, but that’s not always important! Not every individual chapter of a novel needs to be actively relevant to the entire overarching series.)
Honestly, the best possible masterclass in how to recognize good, bad, and “they tried their best but needed more space” pacing? If you want to learn this skill, and get better at recognizing it?
ESPECIALLY Classic Who, which has clearly-delineated “serials” within their seasons. You can pretty much pick any serial at random, and once you’ve seen a few of them, you get a REALLY good feel for things like, for example…
- Wow, that serial did not need to be twelve episodes long; they got captured and escaped at least three different times and made like four different plans that they ended up not being able to execute, and maybe once or twice they would have ramped up the tension, but it really didn’t contribute anything–this could have been a normal four-episode serial and been much stronger.
- Holy shit there were WAY too many balls being juggled in this, this would have been better with the concepts split into two separate serials, as it stands they only had four episodes and they just couldn’t develop anything fully
- Oh my god that was AMAZING I want to watch it again and take notes on how they divided up the individual episodes and what plot beats they chose to break on each week
- Eh, structurally that was good, but even as a 90-minute special that nuwho episode feels like it would have worked a lot better as a Classic serial with a little more room to breathe.
- How in the actual name of god did they stretch like twenty minutes of actual story into a four-episode serial (derogatory)
- How in the actual name of god did they stretch like twenty minutes of actual story into a four-episode serial (awestruck)
If you’re not actively trying to learn pacing, either for literary analysis or your own writing…honestly? Just learn to differentiate between whether the pacing is bad or if it just doesn’t appeal to you. There’s a WORLD of difference between “The pacing is too slow” and “the pacing is too slow for me.”
“I really prefer a slower build into a universe; the fact that it opens in medias res and you piece together where you are and how the magic system works over the next several chapters from context is way too fast-paced for me and makes me feel lost, so I bounced off it” is, usually, a much more constructive commentary than “the pacing is bad”.
And when the pacing really is bad, you’ll be doing everyone a favor by being able to actually articulate why.
Show, Don’t Tell
This is a very specific rule that has been taken dramatically out of context and is almost always used incorrectly.
“Show, don’t tell” applies to character traits and worldbuilding, not information in the plot.
It may be easier to “get” this rule if you forget the specific phrasing for a minute. This is a mnemonic device to avoid Informed Attributes, nothing more and nothing less.
Character traits like a character being funny, smart, kind, annoying, badass, etc, should be established by their behavior in-universe and the reactions of others to them–if you just SAY they’re X thing but never show it, then you’re just telling the audience these things. Similarly you can’t just tell the audience that a setting has brutal winters and expect to be believed, when the clothing, architecture, preparations, etc shown as common in that setting do not match those that brutal winters would necessitate.
Violations of Show Don’t Tell:
- A viewpoint character describing themselves as having a trait (being a loner, easily distractable, clumsy, etc) but not actually shown to possess it (lacking friends, getting distracted from anything important, or dropping/tripping over things at inopportune moments.)
- The narration declaring an emotional state (”Character A was furious”) rather than demonstrating the emotion through dialogue or depicting it onscreen.
- A fourth-wall-breaking narrator; ie, Kuzco in The Emperor’s New Groove directly addressing the audience to explain that he’s a llama and also the protagonist, is NOT the same! This actually serves as a flawless example of showing rather than telling–we are SHOWN that Kuzco is immature and egotistical, even though that’s not what he’s saying.
- A fictional society or setting being declared by the narrative to be free of a negative trait–bigotry, for example–but that negative trait being clearly present, where this discrepancy is not narratively engaged with.
- (For example: There is officially no sexism in Thedas and yet female characters are subject to gendered slurs and expectations; the world of Honor Harrington is supposedly societally opposed to eugenics, yet “cures” for disability and constant mentions of a nebulous genetic “advantage” from certain characters’ ancestry are regular plot points that are viewed positively by the characters and are not narratively questioned.)
- A character declaring that their society has no bigotry, when that character is clearly wrong, is not the same thing.
- The narrative voice declaring objective correctness; everyone who agrees with the protagonist is portrayed as correct and anyone who questions them is portrayed as evil, or else there is no questioning whatsoever. For example: in Star Trek: Enterprise, Jonathan Archer tortures an unarmed prisoner. What follows is a multi-episode arc in which every person he respects along with Starfleet Command goes out of their way to dismiss the idea that he should bear any guilt, or that his actions were anything but completely necessary and objectively morally correct. No narrative space is allowed for disagreement, or for the audience to come to its own conclusion.
NOT Violations of Show Don’t Tell:
- A character explaining a concept to another character who would logically, within that universe/situation, be the recipient of such an explanation.
- An in-universe explanation BECOMES a SdT violation if the explanation fails to play out in reality, such as a spaceship being described as slow or flawed in some way but never actually having those weaknesses. Imagine if the Millennium Falcon was constantly described as a broken-down piece of junk…and never had any mechanical failures, AND Han and Chewie weren’t constantly shown repairing it!
- Information being revealed through dialogue, period. Having your hacker in a heist movie describe the enemy security system isn’t “telling” and thus bad writing. Having information revealed organically through dialogue is what “show” means.
- The “as you know” trope is technically a Show Don’t Tell violation, despite being dialogue, because it’s unnatural within the universe and serves solely to let the writer deliver information directly, ie, telling.
- Characters discussing their own actions and expressing their motivations and/or decision-making process at the time.
- The existence of an omnipotent narrator, or the narration itself confirming something. Narration saying “there was no way anyone could make it in time” is delivering contextual information, not breaking Show Don’t Tell.
Keep in mind that “Show, don’t tell” is meant to be advice for beginning authors. Because “telling” is easier and requires less skill than “showing,” inexperienced authors need to focus on getting as much “show” in as possible.
However, “telling” is also extremely important. Sometimes, especially in written formats, the most appropriate way to deliver information to the audience is to just say it and move on.
Keep in mind that a viewpoint character in anything but…a portal fantasy, essentially…is going to be familiar with the world they’re in. Not every protagonist needs to be a raw newcomer with zero knowledge of their new world! In most cases, a viewpoint character is going to know things that the audience doesn’t. Generally, the ONLY natural way to introduce worldbuilding in this situation is to just have the narration point them out. (It makes sense for Obi-Wan to have to explain the Force; it would make no sense for Han to explain the concept of space travel to Luke, who grew up in this universe and knows what the hell a starship is. So, if you’re writing the novelization of A New Hope, you need to just say “and so they jumped into hyperspace, the strange blue-white plane that allowed faster-than-light travel” and move the hell on.)
For that matter, in some media (ie, children’s cartoons) where teaching a moral lesson is the clear intent, a certain level of “telling” is not only appropriate but necessary!
The actual goal of “showing” and “telling” is to maintain a balance, and make sure everything feels natural. Show things that need to be shown, and…don’t waste everyone’s time showing things that would feel much more natural if they were just told.
But that’s not nearly as pithy a slogan.
(Reblog this version y’all I fixed some really serious typos)
Some guy in an avengers Tshirt I just met at a coffee shop: so who’s your favorite superhero?
Me too exhausted to explain there’s more than one Robin: Batman
Guy: oh! Did you watch the Joker movie? It was surprisingly good for a DC film haha
Me: yeah it was something
Guy: you know they really fucked up on Justice League, but I’ve got to say Wonder Woman was better than Captain Marvel. Like, we get it, “yay girl power.” That’s great but it was so over the top. It totally ostracized half of it’s audience.
Me: wow really
Guy: yeah. You know, you seem pretty chill. Maybe we could hang out sometime and watch some decent superhero movies? You know, Marvel movies haha
Me: i never asked, who’s your favorite hero?
Guy: Iron Man. Like Batman but richer and cooler haha
Me: you know, Batman’s rule? No killing?
Me: i have no such rule. Lindsey, I found another one. My usual, please
Lindsey, the barista: *hands me my sword*
Guy: wow that’s a poor replica of the God Killer blade, it should have more- *beheaded*
Me: thank god that’s over
Lindsey: yeah. Hey want to watch Birds of Prey with me sometime?
Me: oh? You mean like as… a date?
Her: well yeah… is that okay?
Me: of course it’s okay! all this time, all these years, i never knew you felt that way
Her: i don’t keep a replica of Wonder Woman’s sword under the counter for just anyone
Me: i never thought about it that way
Her: *writes her number on the forehead of dead guy* text me ;)
This is gaining notes faster than I thought so either we all know the same annoying guy or this is just what y'all think romance is
This photo of my brother’s cat trying to jump on the dinner table at Christmas feels like a Normal Rockwell painting.
He just wants to be included!!
This is so funny, please never spread it because my mother will kill me.
That cat is like, “I’m literally just vibing here”
Danny Phantom AU where his eyes glow or at least reflect even in human form
So basically all I want to see is one of the Fentons going downstairs at 3 AM only to find Danny raiding the fridge with his glowing eyes
maddie: honey your eyes! why are they glowing?
danny, lost his last braincell to death disease at fourteen: i. ate ectoplasm?
danny: uh… no i warmed it up and. dipped. my tator tots in it.
maddie, disappointed mother and very excited scientist: what did it taste like
danny: ranch 2
Have I ever mentioned how much I loved the phandom?