every night after 10pm my feelings start crawling out, starved, as i beat them with a moderately large stick vigorously hissing “stay back” until i inevitably fall asleep
hello i am sleepy and whiny and would like a kiss
- i have never done anything in my life and im not starting now
- everyone hates me because of this One Thing I Said/Did
- WHY AM I NOT DOING ANYTHING
- i am playing my favorite game in the world and im still FUcking BORED
- this is all im talking about for the next ten hours whether you like it or not
- this is all im THINKING about for the next ten hours whether i like it or not
- Why Don’t I Have Anything To Chew On
- I LIKE MAKING NOISE!!!!
- if anyone says anything im going to kill them
- time to shake
- i heard or made a weird sound and now it is echoing through my head please make it stop
- i have done………. nothing all day i wish for death
- I WANNA DO SOMETHING STUPID
- if i dont do this now im never going to do it *spends 30 hours hyperfocused on it*
- if i dont do this now im never going to do it *doesnt do it*
- its been 16 hours and i havent eaten and im not hungry
- its been 3 minutes since i ate and i want SO MCUH MORE
- all i want is CAFFEINE
- *gets a drink* *doesnt drink it*
- this sensation is bad and i will wash my hands until it goes away
- if i didnt have adhd, i would be too powerful
- if i didnt have adhd, maybe i would be able to do this
- why did i SAY THAT i want to SHOVE MY FOOT IN MY MOUTH NOW
- im never speaking again
- DONT!! YELL!! AT!! ME!!! I’LL DIE!!!!!
- i dont like this person because 6 years ago they said my hyperfixation was dumb
- WHY!! DO I!! CARE!! SO!! MUCH!!
- why am i crying
- why am i NOT crying
- sorry im really happy and excited and i know you’re sad but im very happy and i have forgotten how to be sympathetic
she was leaving. i drove her to where her car was parked, we talked for a bit, and there were pauses, and she went to her car. i wanted to reach out. i wanted to stop her.
we had talked before, she told me that after her first date, she wanted to kiss me, but she didnt want to push me. i appreciated it.
it was 30 seconds before i unbuckled my seatbelt and got out of my car. i knocked on her window, and she opened the door, and said “yes?”
“you should kiss me.”
she didnt hesitate before saying “okay,” and obliging to my request.
it’s unfortunate that she had to leave for work.
havent been on in a while because i got an actual journal, but yknow. things are alright
gone on a couple dates with a girl and kissed her today
in an apartment out by my school
things are okay
Can you do something for me, please?
I want you to reblog this if you believe that two people can be very close and physically affectionate with one another, but still have a completely nonsexual, non-romantic relationship.
Even if the two people in question are capable of being sexually or romantically attracted to one another.
Because the friendship I share with someone I consider family in a way that transcends blood has been typecast as a romantic relationship ENTIRELY too many times, and I’m beginning to get sick of it.
I’ve never reblogged anything faster.
me, after spending days making cool creatures for the hunters to encounter: please don’t kill them, please don’t kill them, please don’t kill them, please don’t kill them, please don’t kill them, plea
i just want a cute girl to kiss me. is that too much to ask?
who wants to start an actual play motw podcast with me? i’ll be the keeper
displays of affection i’m honestly a sucker for that aren’t overtly sexual:
- the forehead touch
- the forehead kiss
-the hairline kiss
- the knuckle/fingers kiss
- nervous hand-holding ft. that little thumb rub thing
-hand-holding in general
-one offering the other their arm
-kisses on the nose
-kisses on the cheek
-gentle hugs ft. kisses on the shoulder
-gentle hugs ft. the one being hugged resting their head on the hugger’s chest
- the couple just looking at each other fondly
-one falling asleep and laying their head on the other’s shoulder/chest
i think my neutral state has just been one of mild dissociation for so long that i forget what feeling real feels like. the other day i just was back in reality fully for a little bit. i stared at my hands, watching the tendons and bones move under my skin as i curled and uncurled my fingers. i could feel my heart beating, and could recognize the dullness from where I’d burned the tips of my fingers at work.
for once i could feel time. it didnt feel like i was moving through jelly, just floating in it. i could feel the breath in my lungs.
i sunk back into that neutral state again, of course, but it was nice to be real again, while it lasted.
i really dont like the meme thats been going around lately (7/12/2020), the “do you [coping mechanism or trauma response], or are you normal?” cuz its just perpetuating the mentality that coping mechanisms that may be odd to neurotypical people are wrong in some way, and continues to show trauma responses as something that is wrong with you and to be made fun of, instead of something that should be acknowledged and respected as something that hurt you and that is a struggle for the person
this isn’t explained the best, so if you know what I’m talking about and can say it better than i, please do
sometimes you just gotta sleep for 10 hours
i love poetry because there are no rules
it doesnt have to make sense
it can be chaotic
its the only way i can express things happening in my brain when i cant get normal words to make enough sense to say what i need them to do
when prose and metaphors are the only things that connect the dots
things are going to be okay
might just fuck around and get kissed