I assumed everyone knew this, but
candy desk . yeah I know you’re like “it would be stupid in a tv show if a senator famous for being a libertarian idiot whose ribs got broken in a fistfight over yard waste was infected with a virus from a one-in-a-century pandemic and continued to rifle around in the senate republican’s candy pile”. well sorry Sorkin but this is the real world and that’s just how it is
oh yeah because I forgot to mention, it was Rand Paul because of fucking course it was
also in case you didn’t know this, the US Capitol also has its own little rinky dink subway system that only they can use at it looks like this
and it looked like this in 1912 because yep it’s been there that whole time
willy wonka’s chocolate factory
article tells me there are, in fact, separate candy desks for republican and democrat senators. the republican candy desk, which is the better-known one, is operated by a singular sugar daddy, while democrats can contribute to a candy fund in order to partake of their side’s hoard
@ us senate yall really run a country like this????
Jesus Christ if you read it in a book you’d say it was too on the nose. What the fuck.
Republicans make confectioners donate all their candy to them while the democrats pitch in to pay for the candy are you fucking kidding me…I had to read the article myself and it’s somehow worse than I thought
in times like these people say things like “we need to throw it all out and start over” which is absolutely true but we also need to divest of all this whimsical shit in its entirety. if I saw, with my eyeballs, a congressperson like, vote against raising minimum wage or whatever and then take a handful of literal candy from a communal candy desk and then hop on the Magical Senator Train to Clown Town I would be in prison for murder.
if you ever thought seriously for two minutes about the type of person likely to seek employment at a concentration camp, this would not surprise you
here’s another two minute brain puzzler: why would ICE, which doesn’t even give out toothbrushes, be so eager to send female prisoners to a doctor - and pay out surgery money - to make it so that they can never get pregnant? what would a pregnancy imply, under these circumstances?
“Well, it’s not so much the last bite, maybe but it kind of last, a last meal. Well, it’s a meal that will trigger all the right… I meant all the left people.
Okay, you ready? Are you really prepared for this? Okay. A warning, here it is, the ultimate trigger sculpture, kind of culinary sculpture, it has everything that Democrats hate. Steak, plastic straws, and light bulbs. And if I could have put an SUV on this I would have. Okay?
Can you sip a steak? Mmm. Tastes good, it’s kind of a vapors of the steak.”
You know… “NEWS”
What is wrong with Republicans?
I thought this was an onion article but it’s real
Muebles con puerta de ala de gaviota
When your hobbies are cabinetry and origami, and you don’t have time to do one or the other.
this was made for the sole purpose of flexing those carpentry skills and i love it
Hello welcome my ADHD themed gameshow, “So you were holding it literally moments ago but now it’s gone” the where YOU look for whatever you were just holding while going increasingly mad
I’m just trying to get the mood right
Dolce & Gabbana new campaign 2020 for women
It would be nice also to add who was the photographer and art director of this photoshoot: Nima Benati, a young and talented italian photographer. She also did a male version of this campaign, where it is possible to see a plus size male model.
(is there more than one photo with him? couldn’t find more than this one, and a solo picture of the guy on the left)
Co-vid is making me dumb. I haven’t seen a coworker in person in months. He adds me on LinkedIn just now. He’s younger, I’ve always thought he was awkward in an adorable sort of way and think he’s got the hots for me. He’s younger, I think 25, maybe younger, and I think that I’d probably eat him alive. I think I would be a bit much for him. I try to keep my claws out of anyone I work too closely with. Also, he’s young for my taste. Then again, older means baggage.
I’m probably just lonely because of co-vid but I have half a mind to see if he wants to hang out…. I know he likes video games… hanging out as friends, I say to myself… 🤦♀️ I don’t know. Something kinda stirred in me seeing his picture. I need to not date coworkers. He’s cuter than I remember? Or that’s a really good picture. He’s short and a little tubby in the most adorable way. I don’t mean any of that in a negative way. I think he’s about as cute as a button.
I’m still too emotionally sore over L to date. It’s way too early. I know in my heart that if L weren’t leaving for NYC that I would have fallen in love with the guy. I wish he were staying, but this isn’t the movies. We don’t get cinematic endings. Things don’t work that way. They’re much messier and complicated. They don’t end, wrapped up nicely in a little bow and that’s probably why we love those neat little happy endings so much. They aren’t real and they’re much nicer than reality typically is.
And as she types this… she is still thirst texting the cute, baby software developer on LinkedIn. I swear to God… what’s wrong with me? I am being friendly, not openly thirsty, but I wanna kiss him… ok, I blame hormones. 🤦🏻♀️
I’ve already sent a regrettable text to L. I think I’m testing to see how much he REALLY wants to stay friends, by testing boundaries too much, because I’m psycho and told him that I’m sad to see him go and that I was falling hard for him and think I would have fallen in love with him if he stayed.
Push, push, push. If I push those buttons enough, he’ll never talk to me again, right? Like so many dudes who told me they wanted to be friends or keep in touch. Haha. Right…
I hate quarantine. 🙄
emotional self-harm exists and is fucking horrible
going back to an ex you KNOW will hurt you? consuming media you KNOW that triggers you? isolating yourself when you KNOW you need help? that’s a form of self-harm and needs to be acknowledged first to get help.
to be clear; this isn’t a callout. this is recognizing that emotional self-harm is a form of harm.
take this as a gentle reminder that your pain is real, that you are heard, and, most of all, to reach out for help.
SNL - Cut for Time: My Little Step Children
WHY WOULD THEY CUT THIS?????
This is legiterally the funniest thing snl has done in decades
they cut it because of the ONE gay reference
both of these sketches were written by julio torres - here’s his twitter
I just want you all to know that my dramatic 6 year old ass would have loved all of this shit.
I’m the dramatique™ hand to face moment in the broken mirror.
Here for the sensitive masculinity and broody femininity sm love
As best I can tell, the back of the doll box’s text reads: RICHARD is a handsome, wealthy widower who cannot seem to get over the loss of his first wife … until you came along! His kids are now Your Little Step Children, who you feel conflicted about to say the least. Richard’s silences are full of sorrow; he has a void in his heart that perhaps you can fill. He just has to accept that his first wife is gone … or is she?
All of his tweets give off the energy too! This dude is fucking hilarious.