i am a fellow kpop fanfic writer who is in need of some writing inspiration. if something happens to come to mind, feel free to request here. feel free, but no pressure.
i will fulfill request(s) only under these conditions:
no smut or suggestive content, but only at the moment. i don’t feel comfortable with it yet.
nothing about extreme gore, kinks, mental disorders, non-consensual activities, or suicide and/or suicidal ideation.
you may submit requests for any group, reader x member pairing, and/or intra-group member x member pairing. (no bts x blackpink pairings, etc. allowed!)
these are the groups that i’ve written for so far (in case if anyone was curious):
Very Familiar With: nct (all subunits; wayv included) exo ateez
Not As Familiar With, But Have Written For: ikon winner bts twice loona (i’ve only done incorrect quotes for them) red velvet
i am on summer vacation from university, but that doesn’t mean life circumstances pop up once in a while. please be patient with me as i fulfill your request. if i haven’t posted something in about a week, remind me again.
Being in KQ was great - it was like Hongjoong finally achieved his dream. It may have been too early for him to decide whether to debut solo or in a group, but one thing was certain: he longed for at least one labelmate around his age.
Teenagers were nowhere to be seen in the company building’s vicinity, and busy schedules strained hisrelationship with his seniors, Babylon and Block B. Hell, he sometimes had a hard time relating to Eden, even though they both had a thing for producing music.
Hongjoong had only been in KQ for six months, but the loneliness bothered him for two. It was even enough to distract him, making him leave the computer cursor in one spot for who knows how long.
The awkward silence was back for revenge.
Eden turned his head to look at his protege, waving his hand back and forth in front of the teenager’s face. “Hongjoong. Wake up. You’re dozing off too much.”
A pang of guilt washed over Hongjoong’s head, making him want to hang it in shame. How long did Eden keep track of him? “Sorry hyung. It’s just… I’m just lonely, that’s all.”
“What do you mean? You have me.”
“I know I do. I just… want to see another trainee that’s my age. It’s been a while since I hung out with another teenager.”
The two guys would get back to work after Eden’s lengthy lecture about “making it big, even if it meant doing it with people much older than you.” It bored the hell out of Hongjoong, but it at least gave him a reason to keep his music samples focused.
“And this, Yunho, is our main hallway. There are four recording studios, two practice rooms, and even this big conference area right here. KQ is perfect for achieving dreams, especially for an 18-year-old like you.”
Hongjoong’s ears perked up at the sound of footsteps and CEO Kim’s voice. His prayers were answered, because when he and Eden turned from their chairs, a teenager peeped through the studio door.
In a matter of two seconds, the protege’s boredom turned into something playful. He waved excitedly at the new guy,even gesturing him to hang out inside the studio after the building tour. The guy would give a thumbs-up gesture to his new friend, confirming that he got the message before turning away.
Eden looked at Hongjoong again, this time with a small smile on his face. “Well there you have it - another teenager.”
getting annoyed of stan culture’s cultish games. just because culture has the word “cult” in it doesn’t mean it has to act like an actual cult.
you don’t have to like every hairstyle, song, voice, or even group member. nothing’s wrong with any of your differing opinions as long as you stay respectful towards everyone (artists and fans alike) and don’t send them unnecessary hate.
i’d rather deal with partial-group stans that mind their own business and respect other people’s opinions than whole-group stans that invade their faves’ privacy and claim they love them, all while they do things like this.
you are a human before you are a stan. it’s okay to be ride-or-die, but not if it’ll take a toll on your health. relax - your faves aren’t going anywhere, and it’s not the end of the world if you miss out on new content or voting periods.
call me crazy, or a fake fan - i don’t care. my opinion will always stand.
“House party on Friday night at 9 ‘til when the cops show up. BYOB, and 420-friendly.”
“Hyung, why aren’t you answering? I heard Y/N’s gonna be there…”
Taeil’s phone glowed oddly bright in the study room, nearly disrupting his intense exam prep. He was just about to reply to the texts when the angel appeared on his shoulder. “No, Taeil. You need to study.”
“I know. I was just going to tell them that I can’t go.”
Watching this go down from its room, the devil swore at the angel as it kept fucking around with the guy. “Don’t do this, don’t do that. God, can’t Taeil have a little fun sometimes? The world doesn’t always revolve around you!”
Then, the devil felt a bulb light up in his head. “Let’s make the world revolve around me.”
It took out a pack of white tablets, the container labeled “Sleeping Pills.” The devil had a strange addiction to these things - something similar to humans taking NyQuil nearly every night. But as of late, it didn’t need them too much.
The only solution was to drug the better twin with the pills.
“What do you want?” the angel asked its evil twin as its privacy was nearly invaded.
“This is for you.” The devil handed it an opened can of soda, now contaminated with the medicine. “I’ve realized how unaffectionate I’ve been towards you, so I decided to change that. Cheers.”
Taeil’s heart started jumping again as he kept thinking about the angel. But with Haechan’s “confidence training” classes in the way, that couldn’t happen without the other guys noticing.
“Hyung, you’re spacing out again,” Chenle said, nearly scaring him out of his train of thought.
For the past few minutes, Taeil had been practicing his eye contact skills with the younger guy, but it wasn’t going as smoothly as anyone expected it to. The older guy kept shifting in and out of contact - it was as if he forgot about you. But in reality, he needed to find the missing deity.
And one way to do it was to focus on something good.
Taeil suddenly remembered a public speaking class he took last year. He remembered his professor lecturing about how eye contact was everyone’s worst enemy and the way to alleviate that fear: looking at the top of people’s heads while speaking to them. But since the two guys were sitting closer together, Taeil needed to focus on the space between each of Chenle’s eyebrows.
A door in his mind opened and closed, nearly destroying that focus. But just as he gained enough confidence to move on to the next task, he fell back into his chair as he shrieked in terror.
Why was the devil coming out of the angel’s bedroom door?
[9:21 pm]: Yunho believed that he lived a good life. Why would God put him in another dark room right after welcoming him?
“Please don’t tell me He changed His mind about me,” he thought. “Oh God, I better not see San here…”
To get into the dark room in the first place, Yunho stood in line with about fifteen other people. Their final destination? A set of double doors and an angel giving out freebies. “Enjoy the show,” the deity would say.
Show? This was nothing like the afterlife stories Yunho heard in church. But since God emphasized watching it so much, it must be something important.
Walking inside the supposed theater room was a nightmare - the drastic transition from light to dark made him slightly dizzy, causing him to bump into a man slightly taller than him.
He shrieked after finding the man’s face, and didn’t bother hiding his fear. “Who are you, and where am I? Why did God send me here?”
“Hello, Yunho. I’m your most previous reincarnation. This is heaven’s movie theater, where we watch our next reincarnation story.”
Yunho admired the man’s calming voice, but it wasn’t enough to fully snap him out of disorientation; as he deeper into the theater room, he slowly made out the faces of everyone that was in line with him earlier… and realized that they all looked similar to him.
“Those are our other reincarnations. Don’t worry - they won’t bite,” the taller guy said to him. “Also, don’t expect to see animals here. Once you’re born as a human, you live, die, and reincarnate as one.”
Yunho was both happy and saddened with the revelation. Although he wouldn’t get scared out of the theater by a fire-breathing dragon, he wouldn’t have a dog to comfort him while watching the movie. “I see. I was just hoping to see a Golden Retriever here or two.”
“Oh, don’t worry. You’ll see them after we watch the movie. All fifteen of them.”
breathing’s an essential part of life. a lack of breathable air makes a stuffy room where people suffocate in. with this being said, the guys of ab6ix need that fresh air, preferably outside where they have more freedom to move around.
“under the haze of the sky / like a respirator makes oxygen”
“the outside air can’t be free / try breathing air in”
“when frustrated, drink”
“run along the roads / walk freely on the street again”
“i don’t want to live tomorrow like yesterday / …hurry up and let’s leave”
“forget all bad memories”
“where am i, need some breath in here”
“i wanna breathe / just set me free”
“take my hands and leave”
“the hazy sky that blocks my view is lazy like me / it’s hard to breathe standing alone / …i need your deep breath…”
“it’s suffocating / in this hazy space…”
“follow the light in the tunnel”
perhaps this song is about finding life support in a person-of-interest. the person’s breathe seems to work like a respirator, bringing life back to the guys’ bodies. from the lyrics, stagnation seems to be a common theme in their lives… even more because they’re kpop idols. so, this song is one thing they can use to voice out their frustrations.
important choreo (timestamps are for the performance video):
0:00-0:06: looking around, reaching out in every direction possible. the guys are desperate to find a way out.
0:07-0:27: the first deep breath, and then the respirator effect. notice how dependent they are on each other. woojin controls everyone, they all push daehwi around, and they help donghyun out with breathing.
0:46-0:58: woong and donghyun have a hand at controlling everyone this time.
1:05-1:07: “get me out of the breathing gear - i’m losing my mind.”
1:36-1:50: youngmin’s turn to control.
1:51-1:57: woong’s trying to make everyone “snap out of it.”
1:58-2:03: donghyun bringing everyone up. banning certain people from doing things makes them feel unimportant, forcing them to take up the tiniest amount of space.
2:41-2:46: it looks like daehwi’s turn for control, but instead, he uses this opportunity to bring donghyun back to life. perhaps he is returning the favor the older member did nearly a minute earlier.
2:49-2:51: notice how woong got up on his own… they’re slowly gaining independence.
2:56-2:58: then, notice how daehwi pushed the breathing gear off on his own.
the guys seem to play both the roles of controller and controlee (i made this word up, don’t come for me). which real life figures fit which part the best? i’ll leave it up to your imagination.
the color blue represents the sky, stability, trust, cleanliness, purity, heaven, and the sea. anywhere is a fresh-aired paradise when the guys are with their people-of-interest.
the stairs = duality and implied ableism. it’s hard to get a nice view of the sunset when it’s cloudy. and by suffocating people, cloudy air disables them, making moving up and down stairs a challenge.
the color aqua represents emotional healing and protection. taking deep breaths has healing powers - it clears your mind, getting rid of emotional clutter and excess information.
the smoke = ascending into heaven or into new beginnings.
the color purple represents ambition, dignity, independence, and frustration. no one likes being in a stuffy room; it’s never a good time to start choking on stagnant air.
the brick buildings = slowly putting your walls up against the things that suffocate you.
the daisies in donghyun’s hand: peep the 0:29 mark of the music video. they represent new beginnings and transformation.
the little amount of light = represents stuffy rooms, lack of clarity, and clouded judgement.
the color green represents nature, growth, healing, stability, endurance, hope, and freshness. notice how woong’s in a forest-like place, looking towards the heavens where the air’s fresher.
the fence and the covered windows = obstacles in life
the headphones = shutting out the world
the chair: sometimes, it’s hard to tell whether or not a room’s stuffy, so the guys probably spent a lot of time thinking about when to escape. notice how the chairs are messily stacked up on top of each other.
the couch that daehwi’s sitting on: peep the 1:49 mark of the music video. it has a clear covering on it, which proves that he doesn’t feel at home at all.
the cars: they’re broken, so they represent the lack of freedom to move around. so the guys bike in circles instead.
the square box: you know how people like to (metaphorically) put other people in boxes so they’d be easier to control and discriminate against?
the trees: they’re mostly bald, so they represent the lack of overall growth and liberation.
the mirror: a loss-of-innocence moment.
the rain represents rebellion and renewal. not a lot of people dance in the rain in real life - their parents will usually tell them to go back inside. but in the case of this video, it seems to be a political statement - something that says, “i’ll do anything to never be in a square box again.”
IV. Putting Everything Together
someone get ab6ix some fresh air! they may be getting scared of things ruining their potential. also, allow them (and other idols in general) to spend time with their friends and family more often - it’s good for the soul, and it’ll make them feel better about themselves. not everything’s about the fans… just let them breathe for a couple moments.
Hongjoong didn’t bother hiding his frustration. “What is it?”
Mingi smiled sheepishly as he opened up his laptop, trying his best not to crack at the older member’s piercing stare. “Hyung, this is the song that I made. I’m sorry for hurting your feelings. It’s just that… I’ve always wanted us to do this concept, but I didn’t know how to tell you or anyone else.”
Hongjoong merely looked at the younger member nervously guiding the mouse to the play button. “Sheesh, what’s up with these guys not telling me things nowadays?” he thought.
The lyrics cascaded out of the laptop speaker once the button started working. Mingi looked at Hongjoong to see how he’d react, dreading the anger-infused criticism. The older member frowned for the most part, but lightened up a little at the catchy line from earlier.
“‘My unexpected friend, my lucky star?’Mingi, are you sure this is a love song?”
“Love isn’t always romantic, hyung. Besides, why do we always say ‘I love you’ to people we care about in general?”
The song went on: “I’m so thankful to have you in my life - I don’t know what I’d do without you. “The best things in life come unexpected.”
The falling melody at the end made Hongjoong’s vision blur with tears again. For the first time in his life, he was speechless - the song’s beauty ripped the words out of his mouth. The song also tore away at Mingi’s predictions; instead of giving criticism, the older member shyly raised his arms up to initiate a hug.
It was a gloomy morning at the university, but that didn’t stop Yuta from waking Taeil up at 7 a.m., sharp.
“Hyung,” henudged the older guy gently. “Get up. We have to go.”
They were joined by Haechan and Johnny; everyone else would catch up later. After a lengthy game of rock-paper-scissors, they decided to take Johnny’s car, making Taeil sign in relief; Johnny drove decently enough from him to try focusing on proper breathing techniques.
In, out, in, out. Thank goodness everyone else was preoccupied - Taeil felt his impending doom as the car got closer to the barber shop. His mind kept switching between you, his jumpy heart, and a growing headache, and he wanted it all to end.
Once the car was parked and unlocked, Haechan dashed to the shop to check Taeil in, leaving everyone else behind. Johnny wrapped his arm around the older guy. “Hyung, you got this. Everything’s going to be okay.”
“He’s right,” Yuta chimed in. “And keep your eye on the prize. Don’t forget why you’re doing this.”
Taeil looked at himself in the mirror extensively once he got seated. He wasn’t one to spend more than a couple of seconds making eye contact with his reflection, but it seemed so easy this time around. It was so easy, that he didn’t hear the barber greeting him at first.
“Taeil, right?” the barber asked.
“Yes, that’s me.”
For this session, Taeil planned on dying his hair bright red and getting a more-visible undercut. (Something like this.) Because when he looked at himself in the mirror earlier, the devil appeared on his shoulder and gave him an idea: “Maybe you should scare Y/N,” it said to him.
You didn’t seem to have a sense of fear, and Taeil knew that very well. You usually walk around with your head held high, and with a black belt in taekwondo, you fought anyone that felt like a threat.
So, he decided to listen to the devil and take a chance; you deserved a new type of guy in your life.
“Wow, looking good, hyung. These clothes actually complement you now.”
As planned, the guys went to upgrade Taeil’s wardrobe after the haircut. The older guy’s new hairdo made it easier for the others to find clothes - his previously matted hair barely matched their fashion senses.
“We’ll you some more clothes - be right back,” they said to him. And with the dressing room door clicking shut, the devil on Taeil’s shoulder clicked open the door from its own room.
“This is what I’m talking about, baby!” it cheered. “Taeil, you look absolutely stunning. Y/N’s gonna love you - I just know it.”
It started going down the list of what the guy had on so far. “The design on this dress shirt really compliments the ‘bad boy’ theme of your hairstyle. Oh, and so do the pants. Jesus Christ, you look expensive… like me. Y/N better say yes. I can’t think of any other option.”
Taeil chuckled at the devil’s remarks. For a while, he was glad the angel wasn’t there to intervene. Perhaps it was a bit too protective of him, always talking to the devil about “our Moon’s image,” and all that. But even though he went along with it, Taeil never understood why the angel did this to him - all of its advice seemed to set him back from living to his full potential.
He started thinking about the angel a little more, and even began wondering where it was. Was it asleep? Or did the devil do something to it?
[7:50 pm]: Day ___ of Wooyoung not being able to sleep at night.
He screamed himself awake, clutching a pillow to his chest. He trembled, and even though no one was grabbing him anymore, he felt the need to run. But to where?
He couldn’t run outside - the rich and the poor were constantly fighting each other. Even a quick walk outside proved itself to be a threat. He couldn’t run inside the ship either; his room was secured by a heavy lock. If only Yeosang didn’t get sick…
It was such a nice movie, Seonghwa couldn’t believe Hongjoong would fall asleep… well, until the sleepiness caught up with him too.
He struggled to turn off the TV as his eyes grew heavy, his head occasionally bobbing up and down. He had just latched onto the remote when a small hand went to grab it, the move disorienting him a little bit.
“Papa! Papa!” the hand’s owner called.
“Which one?” Hongjoong asked sleepily. He could barely lift himself off Seonghwa’s shoulder.
“Both of you! Let’s watch TV, let’s watch TV! Please?”
“Wooyoung, it’s 11 at night. You should’ve been asleep. We’ll watch tomorrow.”
“But I can’t. My mom keeps calling me.” No, 7-year-old Wooyoung doesn’t have a phone. This is just a phrase he likes to use when his biological mother appears in his dreams. “She told me something about a car crash, and then she told another lady to take me home with her -”
Seonghwa offered his other shoulder to the small child before finally falling asleep. “Say no more. Come lay down with us.”
Remote in hand, Wooyoung felt conflicted - he hated sleeping without the white noise in the background. He glanced at the sleeping adults on the sofa, and then at the woman who now graced the TV screen. Why did she look so familiar? Was it her blue clothing?
“Wooyoung, the TV. Please.”
“Okay, Papa Hong,” the child replied, finally obeying his parents’ requests and falling asleep in their arms. “But what if she starts calling again?”
“I’ll answer the phone this time,” Hongjoong replied.
- takes place after the itaewon scandal. (”scandal?” i dunno. i’m not sure if it’s right to call it that…)
- warning: k-netizen nonsense in the links.
[8:04 pm]: Jaehyun barely felt the bathwater on his body as he stared mindlessly at the ceiling.
Thoughts gone, head empty. That V-Live felt like torture. He didn’t intend to fuck up when he went to Itaewon with the ‘97 line, but that happened anyway.
He kept replaying the images of the comments in his head: “…stay still, you’re fucking interfering.” “…just quit the group, I hate seeing your face…”
…and closed his eyes as his vision blurred with tears.
When he opened them again, he shifted his focus from the ceiling to Haechan and Johnny, who bathed him gently. Jaehyun struggled to enjoy the nice gesture as his sadness gave him the pins-and-needles feeling. This would last for the rest of the night, and even through the next morning. It didn’t matter if the otherswere by his side.
“I should… apologize,” Jaehyun slurred, sounding nearly incoherent. He repeated himself for who knows how long, and when the other guys noticed the pattern, they looked at each other.
Haechan broke the repetition, directing a question towards Johnny. “Hyung, what do we do?”
no one usually puts the words “tomorrow” and “today” in the same sentence. maybe the guys of the jj project are pacing back and forth while trying to think about how to live their lives. it’s a crisis.
the color green represents growth, safety, and nature. finding yourself doesn’t always mean driving in the wilderness, but it’s a good start.
the color white represents goodness, innocence, and purity. you first enter life with a clean slate, but roadblocks make it change colors.
The Catcher in the Rye book: like holden, the book’s main character, the guys of the jj project have made decisions with their eyes “half-open.”
the clouds: they make the weather, so they also make the roadblocks.
the color red represents intense emotions and quick decisions. it’s hard to choose sometimes, especially when people are pressuring you to.
the color blue represents the sky, confidence, wisdom, and intelligence. people sometimes look up to the sky for inspiration, which is probably how they get wiser every year.
the puzzle pieces = trying to put their lives together
the tv: there’s only static on it, meaning that the guys need to reevaluate a problem or two. without doing so, they can’t move on from the crossroad.
the tunnel = the passages from one phase to the next.
the mountains = the constant, never-ending journey to self-discovery.
the arrow signs: peep the 3:53-3:58 timestamps on the video. the epitome of crossroad moment.
IV. Putting Everything Together
hitting the “crossroads” in life is totally normal, and it’s okay if you can’t decide where to go from there. sometimes it takes a while to make a wise decision, which is completely fine because it’s bad to rush to things.
[11:46 pm]: “Ah, Hongjoong… he can’t go down without a fight, can he?”
Eden woke up after seeing his future protege in a dream. Now restless, he prepared himself coffee, and started thinking about what he got himself into.
For some reason, Hongjoong reminded him of himself - they were both ambitious and self-driven. But even though Eden was only 28 years old, he felt like his life was just beginning; KQ hired him only last year, so he was scared of how the kid would affect his life journey.
Eden took a sip of the coffee. “Hmm, I wonder how he’s doing. What if he slips up? That’s 200 vocabulary words to memorize. And in the span of a day? Oh God. Let’s see how this turns out,” he thought.
[12:08 pm]: Eden began regretting that coffee from last night. The caffeine made his heart skip uncomfortably, the feeling persisting even as he led Hongjoong into an empty studio. But little did he know that the kid had a caffeine rush of his own.
“Hello, Eden,” Hongjoong said, easing through the rush and the awkward silence. “I have everything memorized.”
Eden was tempted to express his surprise, but he stopped himself - he didn’t want to jinx anything for either of them. He maintained his composure. “Okay, then. Show me what you got.”
Eden was lucky enough to shut out his skipping heart. His face lightened up a little as his protege defined each vocabulary word flawlessly. Somehow reading his mentor’s mind, Hongjoong bowed his head with a new-found pride.
The two of them grew silent once again, but Eden broke the awkwardness this time around. “Hongjoong, welcome to KQ.”
The two of you went to different universities, but Taeil couldn’t stop thinking about you. You were really attractive to him: your smile, your charisma, and even your so-called dolphin laugh. But there was a problem: he wasn’t entirely your type.
You thought he was too soft-spoken and too much of a follower. You were the complete opposite, so you didn’t like the thought of trying to get an introvert out of their shell. You’ve done it before, and you learned that it took too much time and effort to make them keep up with you.
But little did you know how much Taeil had been trying to improve.
“It just takes practice, hyung,” his friends always said to him. “Just keep believing in yourself.”
“Okay. This is the part,” Haechan wrote on one of the white boards. “The part where Taeil-hyung and Y/N get together.” University dorms were too small for all twenty-one guys to fit, so the library’s largest study room was the place to jot all the notes down.
“Why does Haechan always have to be the scribe?”Taeil muttered under his breath. “The board always looks like a mess at the end of the night.”
More writing on the board. “Before doing something, we think about why we want to do it, right?”
Nineteen yeses echoed across the room, the sound gradually scaring the oldest guy’s confidence away.
Staying strong was important, but Taeil couldn’t stop himself from dreading your rejection. Yeah, you were attractive, but you were also intimidating, so much that you made his heart nearly leap out of his chest. Trying to play it cool, he looked down and unintentionally slouched in his seat.
“Hyung, your posture, remember?” Johnny reminded him. “Can’t get anyone looking like that.”
“My posture. Right.” Taeil straightened up right away, mentally swearing at himself. “Posture, and the facade of me having it all together.”
Taeil’s confidence was scared away completely at the end of the meeting - even walking back to the dorm seemed like a nightmare. On top of that, he also had to think about the shopping day that the guys (but mainly Haechan) had planned for him.
“Wake up at 7 tomorrow morning.” “A trip to the hair salon and to the mall!” “Confidence training 101.” “And on the next day, we go see Y/N at their usual hangout spot.”
He threw himself onto his bed once he entered the room. He covered his ears with his pillow, trying his best to get Haechan’s voice out of his head. Knowing how impulsive the younger member was, Taeil dreaded the extremely long day ahead.
- The one where I talk about my past political beliefs. WARNING: it was a toxic conservative shitshow. But this post has a wonderful ending, I promise - I’m over that phase of life.
Thinking really hard about the George Floyd situation right now. It’s making me reflect on the political beliefs I’ve had back then.
I got into politics when I was 16. A couple of hours on “meninist” Instagram, and I became hooked on toxic conservative values. So hooked, I couldn’t really understand why Black Lives Matter was a big deal. Too many terrible right-wing pages brainwashed me into thinking that BLM supporters were kind of entitled. Why did I think that.
My whole political evolution has been a trip, as you can see. I’m glad I’m not the person I was five years ago, because the blue-on-black crime epidemic is still a shitshow.
P.S. Of course every life matters. But prioritize the ones that are the most hurt by systematic oppression, okay?
i feel so lazy and uninspired. i need to go out into the real world more. i’m going insane here. my mind is malfunctioning. i’m so awkward now, even more than before. i dread saying hi to my neighbors whenever i walk my dog. i’m so sleepy, and so sick of online school. so sick of screens. screen to screen to other screen. i hate this. please set me free.
apparently, la county’s rumored to be under lockdown for three more months, and i can’t be more frustrated. i don’t want to think about going out in the open and blatantly disrespecting mask and social distancing laws, but i can’t help it. at this point, i honestly feel like the solution is becoming worse than the problem.
i’ve been seeing more cars on the road lately, and i wonder if they think the same way i do, or if they’re the anti-lockdown protesters fucking around with everyone.
don’t get me wrong - i’ve seen some protesters being up good points. it’s just that you keep seeing the “i want haircuts!” sign-holding people around, so you think that even slightly reopening is pathetic.
tl;dr: i’m not 100% pro or anti-lockdown. i just want everyone to adjust to the situation accordingly. look out for trends in the curve. and could we be over-exaggerating this like we say we aren’t?
warning: mentions of toxic diet culture and body image issues
i have no problem with celebrities losing weight and showing off their bodies. just let them flex - they worked hard to get that far.
however, what i do have a problem with is how some (if not most) of them do it. there’s those fucking detox teas, the waist trimmers, and the wild diets that they put themselves through. all that shit, and their fans have the audacity to say that they’re good looking.
no. fuck that.
being skinny does not equal being pretty or superior. it just means that you have less fat (or even less muscle too) than everyone else. call these celebrities beautiful all you want, but no way in hell will i do the same.
they will always be ugly to me. ugly for promoting such unhealthy lifestyles, and ugly for letting their vulnerable fans fall into a trap.
synopsis: san finds the perfect time to do the naked challenge on yunho. yunho is left speechless… and hungry for more.
- but imagine san trying to do the naked challenge on someone thoooo…
[3:58 am]: Yunho thought it was strange to cuddle with his roommate like this after a nude photoshoot. But here he was.
It was about time KQ let the guys strip down for a shoot. San had been pestering them with this for a while, but no one was sure whether the company said yes out of pity or genuine maturity. Whatever the reason was, San’s naked body had Yunho mesmerized.
He’d just started taking off his shirt when San walked in on him, clothes in one hand, phone in the other… and everything else hanging loose.
“What do you think?” Yunho would hear. The lines between fiction and reality blurred at this point. The voices in his head had the longest argument on what he should’ve done next - just to make his jaw drop, face blushing furiously. He wanted to compliment San so badly, but his jaw didn’t want him to. “Let your face speak for you,” it’d tell him.
Yunho was definitely listening to that advice now: San fit perfectly beside him, his ass brushing against that sweet spot. Yunho let out a soft moan, already sensitive from bottling up his feelings.
Seeming to know what was going on, San woke up and turned to face him. He brought the two of them closer together, legs intertwining, making both of their dicks touch side-by-side. He looked down at this view to make sure he stroked both of them at the same time, and then looked up at Yunho. “You like what I did earlier, huh?”
No verbal reply. Instead, Yunho squirmed at San’s touch. His jaw dropped further as he started thrusting in and out of the other member’s hand, moans getting breathy.
“God, you sound so cute,” San whispered, a hint of lust in his voice. “Keep going, but don’t wake the others up, okay?”
[6:18 am]: Sana barely felt the makeup brushes on her face as she drifted in and out of sleep. It was way too early to be this dolled up.
She’d been on Karaoke Contest for awhile, but began feeling weary of her journey so far. She couldn’t give up now though - she had her grandma to impress.
The brushes would eventually stop touching her face. Rehearsals weren’t until 7:30, so she felt less guilty about going back to sleep.
Now dreaming, Sana walked down the stairs. Her grandma had just called her name, voice beaming with excitement. The analog clock on the wall read 11:20 am, and a big red circle marked a Wednesday slot on the calendar next to it. 11:20 am on Wednesday mornings only meant one thing: the newest Karaoke Contest episode.
“I’m coming Grandma!” Sana replied, running to her with the same amount of excitement. She jumped onto the couch, snuggling next to her favorite relative as the TV warmed up.
While watching the show, Sana occasionally looked at her grandma’s face to see how she was doing. Karaoke Contest was her favorite show, so she realized that she’d always be looking at a happy face. But little did she know how much her grandma imagined her on that stage, singing to her heart’s desire… until now.
“Sana…” her grandma said. “What if one of those performers was you?”
“What if? Oh, Grandma… it will be.”
That’s when she woke up, energized and ready to take the stage once more.
“every day is boring / if you don’t understand what i’m saying”
“… i want what i want”
“it’s always a surprise when i step up in the room…”
“… i’m gonna do what i want everyday / i’ll never be bored / don’t look for the old me, baby / because i’m reborn as a new me”
“they say i’m selfish, but what can i do?…”
“i’ma shake it (3x) like it was my birthday”
“oops, you’re not invited / i’m gonna do what i want today / everyday is my birthday”
“each moment, hour, minute, and second / i feel like i’m born again”
“don’t blame me for being born like this”
somi treats each day as an opportunity to start over, so maybe this song doesn’t always have to do with birthdays; it could be associated with other things that bring independence.
III. Notable Symbols in the Video
(all color interpretations except for pink and silver are on Color Wheel Pro)
the balloons and the car = freedom to move around and be her own person
the eyeglasses: somi’s wearing them, so they represent moderation, balance, and virtue. she seems committed to celebrating herself everyday, but she needs to know that it isn’t always a good idea to go all out. sometimes, something simple will do.
the color pink represents playfulness. everyone’s a little playful on their birthday, but since somi’s still young, it seems to be a big part of her personality still.
the color yellow represents cheerfulness and energy. it’s weird not being happy on your birthday.
the color blue represents healing, tranquility, knowledge, and softness. for the most part, people become more knowledgeable each year. also, starting over definitely heals them of past burdens.
the basketball: since somi’s holding it, she might be thinking about shooting it into a hoop. in this case, the ball represents her trying to achieve her goals by herself and eventually finding reasons to celebrate.
the piano: since it’s white, it represents rebirth and starting over. it also symbolizes somi’s future success (hopefully) in the music industry, which might feel like a fairy tale.
the color orange represents enthusiasm, fascination, happiness, determination, attraction, success, and sunshine. no rainy days are found in this video! aside from it being sunny out, somi is a ball of sunshine on her big day. her energy is contagious, which is how she’s able to “bring all the boys to the yard” and “set off the fireworks” in people’s hearts.
the cactus = the typical birthday wishes. (”you are beautiful inside and out. we wish you safety, strength, and more birthdays in the years to come (longevity).”)
the chair: with new life milestones comes new opportunities, and with those comes new obstacles to look out for. it’s like the chair is telling somi to be careful of her surroundings as she approaches rebirth.
the cannon represents fear of the unknown, but also a successful life. finding freedom doesn’t eliminate somi’s fears completely, but that doesn’t mean she’s determined to fire herself into prosperity.
the color red represents energy, strength, power, passion, and determination. somi sings this song with lots of passion, and with passionate singing comes a powerful performance.
the color silver represents glamour, grace, and positive energy. you have to start off your next year of life on a positive note.
the color black: aside from being the official color of somi’s company, the black label, it also represents power and strength. the company is associated with yg entertainment, which has a more “swaggy” and hip-hop-oriented image than most korean companies.
the candles = “light in the next world” (in this case, the next year of life), and something to fight off evil spirits
IV. Putting Everything Together
whatever event somi was thinking about while making this song definitely reminded her to celebrate herself more often. she has a lot to be proud of at the moment: being in a big company (or rather, its affiliate), graduating high school, and starting a solo career. hopefully, she continues to find success in the years to come… because that’d result in happier birthdays each time.