“can we see the magic in the moment, the explosion in the minor details, the spectacular in the everyday?”
Our problem is that we don’t truly internalize and believe Allah’s promises. We don’t internalize how much He loves us. How much He loves to forgive us. How much He sees and appreciates our efforts. Just imagine how content, how humbled and empowered you’d feel if you truly truly began to feel His love and mercy and forgiveness surround you with every breath you take simply because you believe in Him, because you seek to get close to Him despite halting steps and a bruised heart, because you know you’re flawed and there’s no refuge amidst life’s storms except with the Perfect One.
“The Prophet ﷺ was a universal prophet, which means, among other things, that he was an example for all people. He fasted and broke his fasts. He prayed and he rested. The Prophet’s life example has something for people of diverse strengths and weaknesses. For some people, God will open their hearts to Night Prayer. For others, their hearts will be open to recitation of the Quran. For others yet, it may be generosity in giving charity or making dhikr (the consistent remembrance of God). Fasting will be the love and passion of some people, while others will love and memorize hadith and teach it. There is much in Islam and in the beautiful model of the Prophet ﷺ that one may take. Very rarely do we find a person who encompasses all (or even most) of the qualities. But if a person sees himself inclined to a certain supererogatory worship rite, then he should follow it and be consistent. Imam Malik said, “God has opened up for His servants doors of goodness: for some He opens doors of fasting; for others He opens doors of Charity; others yet, doors of knowledge and teaching; and for others, doors of abstinence and contentment. And I am pleased with what God has opened up for me in educating people.””
— Shaykh Hamza Yusuf, Purification of the Heart
Allah (swt) is so merciful, subhan Allah, that faraidh which are not exempted or lessened for anyone except those who are ill or travelling, are exempted from a woman who is pregnant, breastfeeding, or on her period. if Allah (swt) can exempt you from fasting (and praying, in the latter case), such an important ibadah, during these physically and mentally trying times of your life, then why can’t you also go easy on yourself and remove the extra burden you’ve placed on your heart and mind by demanding perfectionism from yourself, by overfilling your tasks list with things that can be delayed at this stage of your life, by overthinking and fretting and worrying all the time? Allah (swt) knows these are fragile and tough times for you. why can’t you extend yourself the same grace?
if by best friend you mean someone who loves you fiercely; supports you through the thick and thin; is always there for you; watches out for you; constantly showers gifts and blessings upon you; forgives you over and over and over; makes sure you’re okay; helps you grow; never abandons you; only wants the best for you; and understands you in ways you don’t even understand yourself, then yes, Allah (swt) can be and is your best friend.
وَاللَّهُ وَلِيُّ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ - and Allah (swt) is the close and intimate friend of the believers. [3:68]
Ramadan goals for those who can’t fast:
1. Stay in a state of Wudu.
2. Memorize a certain portion of the Quran.
3. Make up for your missed prayers.
4. Recite Quran as much as possible.
5. Abstain from sins, especially sins of the tongue.
6. Read special Adhkar & Tasbihat.
7. Serve those who are fasting.
8. Pray Tarawih.
9. Adhere to the Sunnah.
10. Don’t miss out on Tahajjud.
11. Read your daily morning & evening Adhkar.
12. Memorize the 99 names of Allah.
13. Make a lot of Dua.
14. Give Zakah & charity.
15. Have good expectations from Allah (swt).
في الحنين، لا فرق بين يوم أو عام أو عقد أو عمر، فحجم الاشتياق يفوق فكرة الزمن.
In nostalgia, there is no difference between a day, a year, a decade, or a lifetime, because the amount of longing is beyond the idea of time.
- Gibran Khalil Gibran
Prophet Yusuf (as) spent 7+ years in jail, but he didn’t think that those years were being wasted. He didn’t ask Allah that ya Rabb, I’m a prophet. Why have you put me in this jail where I’m unable to preach your Deen to the masses? I have such important work to do, why am I locked away?
He didn’t for a moment think that his time as a prisoner was wasted. He knew Allah had a plan for him, and He trusted that plan. He preached to the prisoners and did what he could. He was content in the jail, as he was content outside of it when his time as a prisoner was over and he became ruler of Egypt.
What’s true for Prophet Yusuf (as) is also true for you and I - whatever situation and life circumstance Allah (swt) has decreed for us, that’s where we are meant to be.
So remind yourself that your years of struggles aren’t wasted. Your years of grief aren’t wasted. Your years of waiting aren’t wasted. Your years of illness aren’t wasted. Your years as a stay-at-home wife and mom aren’t wasted. Your years of taking a break from studies or work to prioritize your family aren’t wasted.
If you won’t be able to fast this Ramadan due to an illness, pregnancy, or breastfeeding - this Ramadan won’t be wasted.
Whatever Allah has decreed for you at this moment is perfect in its timing. There is no haste or delay; only Divine Wisdom overseeing every aspect of your life. Whatever brings you closer to Him and what He has destined for you, those moments aren’t wasted.
“This place where you are right now
God circled on a map for you.” (Hafiz)
“I began to realize how important it was to be an enthusiast in life. If you are interested in something, no matter what it is, go at it full speed ahead. Embrace it with both arms, hug it, love it and above all become passionate about it. Lukewarm is no good.”
— Roald Dahl
“Mothers have martyred themselves in their children’s names since the beginning of time. We have lived as if she who disappears the most, loves the most. We have been conditioned to prove our love by slowly ceasing to exist.
What a terrible burden for children to bear—to know that they are the reason their mother stopped living. What a terrible burden for our daughters to bear—to know that if they choose to become mothers, this will be their fate, too. Because if we show them that being a martyr is the highest form of love, that is what they will become. They will feel obligated to love as well as their mothers loved, after all. They will believe they have permission to live only as fully as their mothers allowed themselves to live.
If we keep passing down the legacy of martyrdom to our daughters, with whom does it end? Which woman ever gets to live? And when does the death sentence begin? At the wedding altar? In the delivery room? Whose delivery room—our children’s or our own? When we call martyrdom love we teach our children that when love begins, life ends. This is why Jung suggested: There is no greater burden on a child than the unlived life of a parent.”
- Glennon Doyle, Untamed
when you go through something life-changing, it takes a while to find yourself again. who are you in relation to everything that has happened? it’s an opportunity to reevaluate your thinking patterns, the things you’ve been tolerating and no longer want to, the things you’ve been putting off that there’s an urgency now need to deal with - whether that’s in terms of conflicts, goals, or habits. inner work, working on your heart and mind, constantly making sure you’re living an authentic and meaningful life true to your values, letting go of the nagging voice that sounds too much like every bit of criticism you’ve ever received, all of this is the kind of work only you can do for yourself. and it absolutely needs to be done so you can move forward with better strength, stronger faith, and steadier feet.
Alhumdulillah, I’m mommy to two little ones now. My daughter was born earlier this month and I’ve been treasuring my time with her / recovering / anticipating postpartum depression + dealing with it so it doesn’t leave me as bowled over as last time.
I’ve learned that taking care of our mental health is a lifelong process. It requires being self-aware, specifically about knowing and acknowledging our triggers so that we can adapt to different life circumstances and challenges when they arise without losing ourselves.
I’ve also learned that being a mental health professional doesn’t prevent you from dealing with your own mental health issues. What it does is equip you with healthy coping skills so that you bounce back faster.
Anyway, how are you all? What are some challenges you’re dealing with right now?
Insha Allah, I plan on opening slots for 1-1 coaching soon. I’ll be sending out personal emails to everyone who joins the waitlist so if you’d like to know when bookings are open again, fill out this form.
If you’re a previous client, you can now reach out via email (email@example.com) to request Follow-Up Care Sessions.
Take care, and I hope 2021 is a kinder year for all of us, insha Allah.
it’s the little things.
When you’re feeling anxious about something, ask yourself if you’ve done your part? Have you prayed extra Nawafil, made heartfelt Dua, sought guidance on how to behave from the life of the Prophet (saw) and his companions?
If you haven’t yet done all of the above, then do it now.
Once you’ve done your part, then let your heart rest easy in knowing that what is meant for you can never be stolen from you.
Whatever Allah has written for you will come to pass, and He will give you the strength and patience to endure even if difficult circumstances arise.
You know when someone weak and feeble takes the support of a strong crutch, they feel supported enough to take several steps and get to where they want to go?
When you express your deepest fears to Allah (swt), showing Him how uncertain and small you feel, how scared you are about the future, then be sure that His mercy envelops you and that His support is now with you. You can move forward with this faith and conviction.
The Prophets and Awliya knew this fundamental truth of life, which made them undefeatable against even the worst odds. They knew that invoking Allah’s aid and mercy was just a sincere prayer away, and this is why they overcame all hurdles of life with sound mental health and high spirituality.
Alhumdulillah for a year that taught us to be grateful for the simple things. Alhumdulillah for the strength to survive, to hold on, to keep going, and to have hope. Alhumdulillah for sound health, for being safe, for every breath we take. Alhumdulillah for everything.
“Perhaps most of all, though, you deserve to be okay. You deserve to know that a day in which you can just barely get out of bed because you are sad, or sick, or simply not ready to see the outside is not the end of the world. You deserve to know that moments of weakness do not make you fundamentally weak, only fundamentally human, and that sometimes we’re not going to be effusively happy, and that is okay.”
— Chelsea Fagan
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The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “Make things easy for the people, and do not make it difficult for them, and make them calm (with glad tidings) and do not repulse (them).”
The Prophet (ﷺ) also said: “Treat the people with ease and don’t be hard on them; give them glad tidings and don’t fill them with aversion; and love each other, and don’t differ.”
I try to ask my husband’s opinion before deciding anything in life, from the mundane to the big decisions. Why?
1. It’s Sunnah to seek Mashwarah, and I like that I can easily gain Barakah in my affairs through such a simple act as asking my husband’s advice.
2. It’s also Sunnah to appoint an Ameer (leader) for every journey, and what more important journey is there than the journey of life itself? He’s my Ameer, and asking him before deciding on something reminds us both of the fact.
3. It deepens the marital bond and helps you both feel more connected to each other, because your intentions are sincere. He doesn’t seek to control you and you know you’re perfectly capable of making your own decisions, but giving each other a say in your matters makes you feel like one united team against the challenges of life.
Alhumdulillah, the Care Nest Community Facebook group is now open for membership!
The group will, insha Allah, have the following exclusive features:
♡ Live videos for conducting mini trainings and counseling workshops, as well as to share coaching resources (previously only shared with my clients!).
♡ A place for you to ask either Fiqh-related or general questions. Alhumdulillah, I’ve studied Islam extensively from a reputable institute and am in touch with scholars much more learned than me so I’d love to be able to spread my knowledge in whatever capacity possible.
♡ Notes from my Tafsir class and the courses I’m taking (currently I’m training to be a mindfulness practitioner), plus anything else beneficial that I come across, insha Allah. Expect to see Dua posts, advice posts, and any general tips that I’ve found helpful!
♡ Above all, my aim with this group is to provide a safe haven for you to feel supported in your struggles as a Muslimah, wife, mom, daughter, student, and/or working lady.
If you’re ready to join me and other like-minded sisters, please click here to sign up!
When I began training as a life coach, one story that stuck with me the most was…
Imagine you’re walking along the road, lost in thought, when you suddenly fall into a hole. The hole is dark and scary and you don’t know how to get out.
You yell out for help and hear footsteps approaching. Someone peers down, asks how you’re doing, notes down your physical symptoms, throws a prescription chit down, and walks away.
That person is the doctor.
You continue to yell for help. Someone else approaches and peers down. You tell them your trouble and they start the stopwatch, ask you all about how it feels down in the hole, your relationship with your parents, and current psychological symptoms. Then the stopwatch beeps, signaling that time is over, so they tell you to take care and if you’re still in the hole next week, they’ll come by and see how you’re doing. Then they walk away.
This person is the therapist.
Now you’re getting even more desperate. You call out again and this time the face that peers down advises you to pray and resign yourself to your fate.
This is the person with a false perception of Sabr who thinks all mental distress is cured through Dua alone.
(Are you in such a place of life where you’re completely in despair and desperation? Have you tried your best, exhausted all efforts, but still don’t find yourself making it out of the hole?)
Voice now hoarse from yelling for help, with the slightest flicker of hope still alive in your heart that someone might be able to come and guide you, you call out one last time.
Footsteps approach. A face peers down and they ask how you’re doing. They patiently hear you out, and much to your surprise - jump straight down into the hole! You’re shocked and ask them why they’d do something so absurd.
The person takes your hand and says: “I’ve been down the hole before and I know how to get out. Come, I’ll show you.”
This person is the life coach.
So here I am - ready to take you by the hand and help you out of the pit of despair, sadness, and loneliness that you find yourself in.
But you have to be the one to call out. You have to take that first step.
blog posts i’ve written so far related to personal development, relationships, islamic spirituality, and parenting.
- 10 lessons i learned while training to be a life coach
- quranic dua for marriage, employment, & other blessings (+ FREE dua printable)
- 13 islamic & psychological tips for the first year of marriage
- islamic positivity: the forgotten sunnah of husn dhann
- how to ace your exams: 15 easy study tips based on islamic teachings & psychological research
- 5 spiritual habits you should incorporate into your daily routine in 2020
- 3 types of goals to make this new year (+ FREE worksheet)
- 9 inspirational quotes for being content with God’s decree
- how to get your child to eat without showing them a screen
- how to thrive as a stay at home wife & mom (20 tips from a life coach & islamic counselor)
- build strong relationships by keeping these 3 secrets
- remember these 9 things when you feel like quitting
- 5 ways to cope with anxiety during the coronavirus pandemic
- 9 essential duas every muslim mom should know
- how to prepare for ramadan (advice from the salaf + FREE daily planner)
- it’s okay if you’re struggling (a letter to tired moms in ramadan)
- how to prevent comparison from ruining your life (+ FREE affirmations printable)
- improve your marriage through anger management & argument resolution
- the sunnah method for making the right decision
- amazing dua for ease in childbirth & labor
- tips to beautify your real home - your mind
- the lullaby i sing to my daughter
- 7 ways to build resilience & overcome challenges in life
if you want to…
• learn how to deal with crippling anxiety, depression, low self-esteem & insecurities.
• let go of the limiting beliefs that have held you back for years.
• find out how to balance all of your different roles & responsibilities as a muslim woman.
• feel in control of your life again & more empowered than you ever have.
• thrive mentally, emotionally & spiritually, living a life of inner peace & joy.
all you have to do is…
• take the first step.
• reach out to me by visiting my website. (i’m a certified life coach & islamic counselor with 5+ years of experience.)
• we’ll have a chat & see if we’re a good fit, insha Allah.
anyway, the highlight of my birthday today was getting a children’s encyclopaedia, a “finding dory” sticker book, and two prophet’s storybooks (prophet yaqub + yunus) for my daughter.
i’m 25, alhumdulillah.
blog posts i’ve written so far related to personal development, relationships, islamic spirituality, and parenting.