not to be horny or anything but i’m currently craving some destiel high school au sexting fics n i CANT FIND ANY-
not to be horny or anything but i’m currently craving some destiel high school au sexting fics n i CANT FIND ANY-
when cas is annoyed at dean he sends passive aggressive sexts when he knows dean will be in a public place
Dean sighed as he shoved the cart down the aisles of the semi-local Walmart, grumbling under his breath as he surveyed the truly staggering number of yogurts.
Baby!Jack loves his flowers.
Cas notices that Jack’s a little quieter than usual on his way home from preschool one day. Usually he likes to chat about how he used the blocks to build a robot that makes pancakes, or that he saw five roly polys in the sandbox, or that they read a book about a hippo. But not today, today he’s just been watching out the window. Cas pulls into the garage and gets out to help Jack unbuckle his car seat. “How’re you feeling? You’ve been quiet.” he asks.
Jack climbs out and takes Cas outstretched hand. “I was crying today, Papa.”
“Oh honey, I’m sorry you were sad. Come here.” Cas says as he scoops Jack up. “Let’s go sit with Daddy can talk about it. If you want to.”
“I do want to.” Jack whispers quietly as he wraps his arms around Cas’ neck and rests his head on his shoulder as they make their way to the living room.
Dean looks up from where he sits cross legged in the corner of the couch as they enter. “Welcome home sweetheart.” he greets, and adds “Little Man, you ok?” noticing Jack’s koala impression and shooting Cas a questioning look.
Cas sits in front of Dean and Jack scampers onto his lap before he finishes setting down the car manual he had been reading through. Dean leans down and kisses his hair as the four year old curls up against him. Cas explains “Jack says he was crying at school today, so I told him we could talk it out together. Why were you feeling sad?” Cas asks, reaching out to put his hand on Jack’s knee.
Finally feeling safe and secure, Jack opens up like a floodgate. “Well, I was drawing a picture, and Mina was too but wouldn’t listen to me, and I kept telling her the flowers aren’t hers but she said she wants to cut them and give them to her mommy, but she can’t! They’re for the bees and they’re gorgeous.” he explains animatedly, then, quietly, he adds, “Then I yelled at her and Miss Nadia said I couldn’t draw anymore.”
“I see. Did you listen to Miss Nadia?”
“Uh huh.” Jack responds, while he absentmindedly rubs Dean’s upper arm.
“And did you check on Mina later?” Dean adds in, knowing that’s what the teachers encourage the kids to do.
“Yeah. After I cried in the soft corner and talked to Miss Nadia.” Jack says, glancing at their faces to see if either of them seemed upset.
“Thank you for listening to your teachers and checking on your friend. Sounds like you were pretty frustrated, honey.” Cas says, moving his hand down to squeeze Jack’s ankle reassuringly. “I’m sorry. You said Mina didn’t listen? What were you asking her to do?”
“I drew a picture of our bee garden with the smelly markers and I was showing Mina the sunflowers and the lavender and the… zaninas?”
“Zinnias?” Cas supplies
“Yeah, the Zinnias. And she said she wanted them. She said she was gonna cut them down and take them home! But they’re for the bees to drink and they’re gorgeous and she can’t cut them or they’ll stop growing!”
“It’s ok.” Dean sooths, rubbing Jack’s back. “You’re right, Jack, we need to let them grow, we’re not gonna cut them. And she won’t either. Did you ask her to stop?”
“Yeah. But THEN she said bees are mean! But they’re NICE and I yelled it. I’m sorry.”
“I understand. It’s hard to stay calm when we feel upset. But do you remember what you can do next time if someone’s not listening to you?” Dean prompts.
“Ask for help.”
“That’s right, kiddo. Next time you can try to remember that. We love you.” Cas reminds him.
“We sure do” Dean adds, “and we’re proud of you for talking to us. Is there anything else we can do to help?”
“I feel good now, Daddy. Can we check on the garden? It’s so gorgeous. I wanna see all the flowers my picture needs.”
“Sure, we can water it after dinner. Jack, you keep calling it gorgeous. Who taught you that word? Do you know what it means?”
“You told me it, Papa! It means I love the garden and want to keep it forever. Y’know? You say that in Daddy’s ear when you kiss him.” Jack replies, sitting up on his knees and kissing Dean’s cheek before hugging Cas as he slides down off the couch. “I’m gonna go build with my legos.”
Cas looked at Dean and laughed. “Well, gorgeous, I’m gonna have to watch what I whisper to you from now on, but I’d say we did a good job with that.”
Dean laughed “Mmhmm, you are. And we aced that. Now c’mere and snuggle me before I have start dinner.” Dean replied, leaning back and pulling Cas to lay on him.
Sunday-Funday: Destiel Baby!Jack ficletHappy Mother’s Day everyone!!!💕
Dean was expecting to have a nice, normal Sunday. Hopefully sleep in a bit, then make some pancakes, and later run to the hardware store so he can get some work done on the new bookshelves he’s making Cas. What he wasn’t expecting was to be awoken by the clang of pots and pans hitting the kitchen floor, at six thirty am.
And so Dean was out of the bed in a flash, weapon in hand, creeping towards the bedroom door. As he reached for the handle he heard the sound of laughter, followed by hurried shushing, drift down the hall. He instantly relaxed, shoulders drooping, weapon resting at his side.
Cas and Jack.
Dean released the breath he was holding with a laugh, as he tucked the knife back into his nightstand drawer. He glanced over at the clock on the wall.
Six thirty-five a.m.
What the hell where they doing up?
(read the rest under the cut)
bestie why ddi u say that :(
i think that instead of dean outright just asking cas if he meant his confession Romantically he’d just continuously try and pigeonhole the both of them into Prime Kissing Scenarios just to see if cas would. because, Okay, maybe cas didnt kiss him in the dungeon because of the Everything that was going on, but maybe, just maybe, now that he’s back, and theyre safe- he Would? he doesnt even think about if he WANTS cas to feel that way Romantically towards him, he just wants to give cas a chance, because maybe he didnt have enough time, then, but now- now he could kiss dean, and dean would let him. he’d let him. and it’d confirm to him that the confession WAS romantic, that cas is in fact, IN love with him- and he’d. he’d figure out the rest after. but for now, he picks more romantic movies during movie nights, he brings cas to low-lit bars and fancier, candle-lit restaurants. he slings an arm over his shoulder while theyre walking and he walks cas to his room every night. he lets his eyes wander downward, to cas’ lips, all the while willing cas to just fucking- grab him. and kiss him. to put him- to put the BOTH of them- out of their misery. i think cas would see dean doing all of This and think that dean’s just doing it out of obligation, because he THINKS that he needs to spend more time with cas- or give him more hugs- or cook him breakfast- because he feels indebted to him, because of COURSE the confession is a burden to him, no matter how many smiles or dinners he cooks for cas. i think that dean would definitely be nonstop fantasizing about cas kissing him- hard and slow, gentle and fast- at the kitchen table, on the couch, in the impala, right outside the diner. he’d think, Now. He’s gonna kiss me now. and he’d hold his breath, like he always does, and tries not to feel- disappointed? upset? when cas never does, when cas doesnt close the gap between them. he’s just- he’s just tryin’ to be a good friend, all right? he’s tryin’ to give his buddy an in. and cas is making it harder than it should be. i think eventually dean gets himself SO riled up that he just fucking kisses cas in the bunker’s hallway. i think sam moves out to eileen’s place by week 2 because he does NOT want to witness this.
using aesthetics to indicate that a character is “evil” doesn’t work on me because if i see a guy putting spikes and dragons on his massive black castle straight out of a goth metal album i’m only going to assume that he fucks severely
I’ll never understand why anthropomorphic animal cartoons like Robin Hood and Zootopia will go to the trouble of creating character designs that are meant to be understood as “attractive” or even “sexy” to the human audience but explicitly avoid showing interspecies romances between anthropomorphic animals. Why is THAT weird but, like, trying to make rabbits recognizably sexy-coded to humans isn’t?
Sometimes, sure, but why was Maid Marian a fox in Robin Hood? There wasn’t anything particularly “foxlike” about her personality, and it would make more sense for her to be a lion. They made her a fox only because Robin was a fox and making her something else would be “weird”, but I don’t think the wolf cop or the chicken maid or the lion prince were actually meant to represent race.
The best inter species couple is Kermit and Miss Piggy as the Cratchits in A Muppet Christmas Carol, because all their sons are frogs and all their daughters are pigs, as God clearly intended.
there are only two genders: frog and pig
I’ve pointed out to my friends that the fact that Kermit and Miss Piggy’s kids are like that means either
1) they reproduce asexually and the children are clones of each parent OR
2) Kermit and Miss Piggy are members of the same sexually dimorphic species, hence the split between their male and female children
yes I have spent too long running about potential muppet biology
Third option, when they want kids they get some fabric and make one, and hope a Hand inhabits it
Do you think there’s a ritual for inviting An Inhabiting Hand to possess the empty husk of your muppet baby?
Just wanted to show u guys that in Muppets Most Wanted, Piggy fantasizes about her and Kermit having babies and this is what they look like
So do with that what you will
Recall that in The Great Muppet Caper, Kermit and Fozzie are brothers. And this was their dad (right):
Thank you for specifying, which one of the two individuals in the picture was the dad haha
I, for one, think Shrek handled interspecies coupling the best. By this I am of course talking about the Dronkeys.
In season 3 of BoJack Horseman, we learn Diane (middle) has been impregnated by Mr. Peanutbutter (left). The fetuses are confirmed to be puppies.
This is the worst addition to this post
I am reminded of Treasure Planet.
In which Captain Amelia (left), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic cat, had hybrid babies with Doctor Doppler (middle), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic dog, whom also gave birth to the babies
I always thought that in muppet movies like muppet Christmas Carol the characters are played by the muppets (so kermit is acting and playing the role of Bob rather than being him) so the kids in that film would just be other acting muppets right?
Or is that just something my brain made up?
Last time I saw this post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at the second Eggman
harley rolling up to the wayne manor is her bedazzled heeleys: omg brucie you’ll NEVER guess what happened—oh are you busy?
bruce laying in the grass as his kids spray him with a hose from ten feet away: no go on I’m listening
harley laying down next to him: alright cool SO!
bruce rolling up to her apartment in a rolls royce and bedazzled sunglasses just straight up honking until she comes outside: harley, you wouldn’t believe what lex luthor wore to the board meeting this time
harley in matching sunglasses: o my god, not the blue prada sw-
bruce nodding his head: the fucking prada sweats
okay so it’s a random destiel fic i read like a year or smth ago
basically dean overhears his ex gf on the phone discussing her other ex who was like the best in bed. so dean basically hunts castiel down to prove he’s much better at sex then he is
any help is appreciated
Well, I feel stupid doing this. But… I am fresh out of options. So please. I need some help. I’m praying, okay? Come on. Please.
Prayer is a sign of faith. This is a good thing, Dean.
→ 4x18 - The Monster at the End of This Book
ohoho but you know some days deans feeling just a bit more adventurous, a bit cheekier than usual, will do everything he can to rile cas up without *directly* riling him up. he’s stretching his arms way over his head, brushing by cas in close quarters, bending over, touching his own lips, licking them more often than usual, taking long pulls on his beer when he knows cas is looking
and cas isn’t an idiot, he knows exactly what dean’s doing and he keeps his cool all day but the minute the door slams behind them he’s all over dean, shoving him into the wall and dean’s nothing but smug smiles, all innocent can I help you’s and sheesh whats gotten into you’s and cas isn’t ashamed to admit how well the goading spurs him on, how eager he is to wreck dean so bad that all he can do is gasp and beg more, cas, please, all traces of teasing gone from his voice, cheeks pink, nothing but sloppy desperation in how he blindly clutches at cas, searching for some kind of purchase as cas shows him just how closely he’s been paying attention all day
Y’all know what I’m about to do? Upset myself
Let’s talk about dad Bruce and lil 8 year old Dick (and look I know Bruce didn’t actually adopt Dick until much much later but you can let me dream) (I’m also allowed to make adoption jokes because I’m adopted)
- let me make something clear right now. Bruce loves his kids. More than life itself. If you want to argue w me, post up. And catch these fucking hands
- when fucking goth emo bitch boy Bruce Wayne adopted a lil baby 8 year old Dick Grayson he was in WAY over his head
- the manor went from dead silence 90% of the time to “BRUCE LOOK WHAT I CAN DO” 100% if the time
Dick: you have to hold my hand when we cross the street
Bruce: that wasn’t in the adoption contract
- Alfred doing a bulk of the work Bruce was supposed to be doing lowkey
- Bruce definitely blew everything out of proportion when it came to Dick
- the thought of Dick blowing his nose in Bruce’s cape makes me laugh so fucking hard
- Bruce Wayne fussed over his child ok
- I’m a strong believer what Dick was literally Bruce’s ray of sunshine because i know that BABY had such a CUTE smile
- Bruce almost bought an elephant because Dick cried for one (Alfred said absolutely not)
- Strong images of Bruce brining Dick to work and him coloring on the floor of an important board meeting
- when Dick misbehaved and wouldn’t listen once Bruce threatened to dig out his receipt and return him. Dick cried and Alfred yelled at Bruce
- Dicks pictures are ALL OVER Bruce’s office
- Bruce is definitely so so so proud of Dick. He brags about him all the time. He’s a proud Dad™️
- I think Dick was a well behaved kiddo but also very loud and energetic. Like major ADHD vibes. Bruce is trying to do work in the Cave and Dick is bouncing off the walls
the way he’s sadly looking at the ground, thinking through everything that’s happened between them, and then you can SEE the second it hits him that Cas still might think Dean hasn’t forgiven him. So it’s like he realizes “and oh my god, cas, OBVIOUSLY i forgive you. jesus, of course i forgive you, it goes without saying” with shock and disbelief. But then he realizes it doesn’t go without saying, cas needs to hear it, so he apologizes again for that. I’m sorry it took me so long to say it.
please tell me i’m not the only one who thinks they have absolutely no chemistry whatsoever…
At 40, Franz Kafka (1883-1924), who never married and had no children, walked through the park in Berlin when he met a girl who was crying because she had lost her favourite doll. She and Kafka searched for the doll unsuccessfully. Kafka told her to meet him there the next day and they would come back to look for her.
The next day, when they had not yet found the doll, Kafka gave the girl a letter “written” by the doll saying “please don’t cry. I took a trip to see the world. I will write to you about my adventures.”
Thus began a story which continued until the end of Kafka’s life.
During their meetings, Kafka read the letters of the doll carefully written with adventures and conversations that the girl found adorable.
Finally, Kafka brought back the doll (he bought one) that had returned. “It doesn’t look like my doll at all,“ said the girl.
Kafka handed her another letter in which the doll wrote: "my travels have changed me.” the little girl hugged the new doll and brought her happy home.
A year later Kafka died. Many years later, the now-adult girl found a letter inside the doll. In the tiny letter signed by Kafka it was written:
“Everything you love will probably be lost, but in the end, love will return in another way.”
whats ur filthiest fantasy?
That someone actually stays in my life and loves me unconditionally lmao
Read this fic this weekend and loved it!
thank you for the submission!!!
Tags: Alternate Universe - Corporate, Personal Assistant Dean Winchester, Assistant Dean Winchester, Boss Castiel (Supernatural), Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Top Castiel (Supernatural), Bottom Dean Winchester, One Night Stands, POV Dean Winchester, Dom Castiel (Supernatural), these two are very horny for each other, also this fic is basically a romcom, but with angst obvio because it’s me writing it, Angst with a Happy Ending, Alternate Universe - Office, Secret Relationship, reference to suicideSummary
Dean Winchester is an executive assistant at an advertising agency. On the day his boss retires, he has an unforgettable one night stand with a new hire, Castiel Novak. The problem: turns out Cas is his new boss.
if you love the fic, please give the writer some love via kudos/comments/reblogs. your support matters!
English Class: Part 2 - A Destiel High School AU Ficlet / Part 1
wc: 2.1k | read on ao3
“Charlie, what do I do?” Dean moaned with his head on the table in the school library.
“Well first, you should be quieter, because we’re in the library.” Charlie rolled her eyes but put her hand comfortingly on Dean’s back. “And second, you should go talk to him instead of hiding in here with me.”
Dean didn’t respond. He knew Charlie was right, but he also wanted to avoid what was coming next. In class that afternoon, they received their schedule for the next reading, which meant that soon he was going to have to hang out with Cas to discuss the book. So, instead of going right to his car, Dean met Charlie in the library, hopefully the last place Cas would search for him - if he was even trying to find Dean.
“Maybe he’s not even looking for me,” Dean thought aloud.
“You said he turned to you when the schedule got handed out though, didn’t you?” Charlie asked half-heartedly. They had been through this several times in the last thirty minutes and she had homework to get done.
“Yeah, and he smiled too…” Dean reflected, thinking about the cute smile Cas had given him while holding up the paper. But Dean was an idiot and bolted out of the room once the bell rang, because he was scared. Of what, though? His crush? He shook his head. “I guess it’s safe to go to my car now. He usually takes the bus so he should be long gone.”
As he walked towards the parking lot, Dean fished for his keys inside his backpack. When he looked up and spotted the Impala, he stopped. There was Cas, just standing by his car and reading a book.
Dean was about to run back inside to Charlie when he saw Cas glance up and notice him. Shit, Dean thought. There was no avoiding him now. He made his way slowly towards Cas, running through a million different things to say.
“How’s it up?” Dean stammered as he approached Cas, immediately realizing how messed up that came out. “Oh man, I was going to say, ‘how’s it going’ or ‘what’s up’ and that came out instead.” Dean was already hot in the face.
“It’s up pretty well I think,” Cas laughed, winking.
(read rest under the cut)
Meg hires a guitarist for Castiel’s new cafe without telling him, and it turns out to be one Dean Winchester. The very same Dean who had been Castiel’s desperate high school crush.
In which Dean is a flirt, Castiel is oblivious, and Meg uses the power of cheesy love songs in the attempt to force them together.
Categories: Light angst to fluff, AU
Characters: Dean Winchester, Castiel, Meg
Tags: Bottom!Dean, top!Cas, proudly bisexual Dean, gay Cas, pining, misunderstandings, smutty ending, coffee shops, singing!Dean, guitarist!Dean
My Notes: I included Spotify links if you want to listen to the songs as you go. The song may not sync up with the scene (and Dean’s versions are different), so listening and reading at the same time might not work for each scene. One of them links to the album because it wouldn’t link the specific song for me.
I removed a couple of the song links where Dean’s arrangement is meant to be so different that I didn’t want to put the original too strongly in your mind.
When Castiel stepped out of the back office, he was relieved to see a good crowd of customers in the cafe. Getting through winter and spring had been difficult, but the previous owner had promised that summer would bring a boom of tourists, and enough business that he could put money away for his second winter. By the looks of it that certainly seemed to be true. The weather was beautiful today, and the tourists were here for it, happy to enjoy the early June sun on the beach.
When Castiel looked around for Meg he found her setting something up in the far corner of the room. He had a feeling he would regret asking, but he walked over to find out what she was doing.
When Castiel had moved back to Ocean Shores and decided to buy the little cafe, Meg had been looking for a job at the time. Cas had been nervous about hiring an old high school friend, but she’d turned out to be a reliable manager. And even though they were friends and had a relaxed working relationship, she still respected that the business was his baby.
“Do I want to know what you’re doing?” Castiel asked. He noticed she’d put one of the more comfortable upholstered chairs in the corner facing out, with a small table next to it.
“Don’t be mad,” Meg said, looking up at Castiel with mischievous eyes. “The summer guitarist starts today.”
Castiel gaped at Meg for a moment. “The what? You hired a musician without asking me? Did you at least audition them?”
Meg shrugged. “He said he played here last summer for the previous owner. So I figured he must be good.”
Cas shook his head. “Well if he sucks you have to be the one to tell him he’s fired.”
Meg grinned. “Deal.”
It was about a half hour later when the front door chimed, and Castiel looked up from behind the counter, only to see Dean Winchester walk through the door, guitar in hand.
Castiel was frozen in shock, and he couldn’t help but stare as Dean walked toward him, a grin splitting the handsome man’s face. He was still just as beautiful as he had been in high school, with bright green eyes and perfect freckles. If anything he looked even better now, and Castiel couldn’t help but notice how his t-shirt clung to his shoulders and his trim waist.