What is or isn’t a slur can be highly contextual, y'all.
“Jonny Sims bummed a fag off my ma” doesn’t contain a slur, but “What are you, some kind of fag?” does.
“Queer studies”, “the queer community” and “I’m queer”? Not a slur. Some bigot calling you a “dirty queer”? Slur.
“Be gay, do crimes” and “He’s gay” ≠ slur, but “Ew, that’s so gay” = slur.
In conclusion, stop buying into this fucking “q slur” bullshit. Queer people talking about the queer community aren’t using it as a slur any more than a gay man calling himself gay is using that term as a slur.
Everyone tagging this as “Don’t call people ‘queer’ if they aren’t comfortable with it”, I don’t disagree with you, but I do have one question for you:
Why are you singling out “queer”?
Hi, I’m queer and I don’t like being called gay. Why is it always “don’t call people 'queer’ if they don’t like it” but never “don’t call people 'gay’ if they don’t like it”? Or just “don’t call people words they are uncomfortable with”?
Why is it only ever “queer” that gets singled out?
And why do you even feel the need to tag that onto this post? All I said was “stop tagging people referring to themselves this way as if it were the same as bigots hurling it as a slur”.
Because queer originated as a slur and gay didn’t? That’s obvious…
People have self-identified as “queer” since at least the 1920s, back when it mattered whether a man called himself a “fairy” or a “queer” as those meant very different things. “Gay” was adopted later. That’s a hundred years ago.
If you don’t want to go that far back, there’s also Queer Nation pushing against the restrictive duality of hetero- vs homosexuality back in the '90s. That’s 30 years ago.
Meanwhile using “gay” to mean “bad” was super widespread in my school when I was a teenager. That was less than 10 years ago.
Are you really telling me decades of people self-identifying as queer mean fuck-all? Are you saying the fact that gay is hurled with the intent to hurt as well doesn’t matter?
Are you really telling me that it’s cool to go on the posts of people talking about their own identity and constantly derail them by going “oh yeah but other people-”?
This is still a post about people treating queer people referring to ourselves and our community as queer as if we’re hurling it at other people as an insult.
“But it originated as-” is not an excuse to constantly derail queer people’s posts by making them about people who aren’t queer or to act like we’re hurting people by talking about our identity.
Queerphobes love denying, erasing, and re-writing history to suit their queerphobic aims. Gay was a slur long, long before queer:
…around the early parts of the 17th century, the word [gay] began to be associated with immorality. By the mid 17th century, according to an Oxford dictionary definition at the time, the meaning of the word had changed to mean “addicted to pleasures and dissipations. Often euphemistically: Of loose and immoral life”. This is an extension of one of the original meanings of “carefree”, meaning more or less uninhibited.
Fast-forward to the 19th century and the word gay referred to a woman who was a prostitute and a gay man was someone who slept with a lot of women (ironically enough), often prostitutes. Also at this time, the phrase “gay it” meant to have sex.
The word queer, meanwhile, wasn’t associated with homosexuality until the late 19th century.
By the late 19th century, queer was beginning to gain a connotation of sexual deviance, used to refer to feminine men or men who were thought to have engaged in same-sex relationships. An early recorded usage of the word in this sense was in an 1894 letter by John Sholto Douglas, 9th Marquess of Queensberry.
Before that, queer was simply an adjective, meaning eccentric.
Neither word started out as a slur.
Both became slurs, and then were reclaimed, and then became slurs again, and then were reclaimed again, etc. Gay was a particularly popular slur throughout the 1990s and early 2000s, and some homophobes continue to use it as a slur to this day.
All of the terms we have for defining marginalized sexualities and genders have a fraught history.
If a group of people is marginalized, the terms used to define that group will be weaponized against them. That’s just how marginalization works.
Learn history, children, or admit you’re furthering an exclusionary agenda. Why do you hate the umbrella term that includes asexuality and trans identities so much anyway…?