Thus concludes #UnsanctionedJellyWeek—turns out you were all ready for these jellies! Thanks to everyone who joined in the brainless fun, and we hope to sea you around in the next sweep of current events! We’ll leave you with these gorgeous home-grown purple-striped jellies—Chrysaora colorata-ta for now!
Green flag for a heterosexual man is being able to order Starbucks like a person.
If he goes “hi could I get a venti iced white mocha and a venti pink drink please?” He’s gonna pull up to the window with flowers for his wife in the passenger seat and he’ll tip.
If he goes “okay so I have a bit of a crazy order here this is for the wife - she says she wants something called a white mocha with skim milk, no whip, and oh- she’s not done! AND caramel drizzle. What size? Uh, whatever you guys call the large, I guess. Hot or iced? I don’t know, however you usually make it. For me, just a black coffee. Just regular, normal, none of that fancy stuff for me.” He’s gonna pull up to the window and start complaining to me about his wife for literally no reason.
Both of these exact situations have happened to me.
It’s like misogyny and toxic masculinity have associated Starbucks with women and femininity and pumpkin spice lattes to the extent that even men who aren’t openly shitty still feel the need to preface their order with “yeah this is for my girlfriend” or “my wife told me to get-“ and men who are able to order without this extra step distancing them from the “femininity” of ordering a blonde vanilla latte or a strawberry refresher are probably dudes who (at least kinda) respect women and are comfortable in their masculinity.