I made him stop chewing on Flash’s throat so now he’s sitting on my lap and sulking. Kitty Wrestle Time is one thing, but you don’t get to choke your brother!
I made him stop chewing on Flash’s throat so now he’s sitting on my lap and sulking. Kitty Wrestle Time is one thing, but you don’t get to choke your brother!
I am currently enjoying a Job Hunting Alcohol, and it is bold of this beer to assume that I will let it warm up to room temperature to fully enjoy the spice and apple notes.
Yea I’m fucked lol, I can’t take any sort of cold relief medicine or even cough drops. Fortunately for him I’m still able to use all my remedies on him so I’ll be making a bunch of those.
girl i was on the CUSP of asking to you try sore throat tea and then i fucking remembered that lemon and ginger more than likely has histamines in it and fuck. but if it’s possible for him to take it it’s lemon and ginger slices in honey with hot water. maybe it can help with the pain a bit. Hope you both get way better soon neither of you deserve to have needle throat pains D:
ETD started feeling sick late last night and this morning he woke up with the same it-feels-like-swallowing-glass-sore throat I’ve been battling for over a week and can barely get out of bed. This virus sucks :(
My mom’s go-to recipe for sickness is tea with whiskey and honey, which has the benefit of, if you drink enough of it, you’re still sick but you don’t really care anymore.
Meanwhile, in prehistoric Canada…..
No no, you don’t understand, moose really do get that big. Take it from a Canadian. I’ve seen that bullshit in person. Scary as all heck.
And that’s how people can die if they hit a moose. Seriously, one of our fears when driving in the country is having to deal with this scenario of a moose jumping out in front of the car.
moose are actual legit ice age megafauna; theyve been here since the ice age, they are old as fuck. they also are pretty terrifying and ive echoed this before but i went to wiki and “In terms of raw numbers, they attack more people than bears and wolves combined” and “ In the Americas, moose injure more people than any other wild mammal and, worldwide, only hippopotamuses injure more.”
like, fuck off with that
I was dog sitting a dog once who insisted she had to go out in the middle of the night it was an emergency, so I took her out. Suddenly she starts pointing and barking and I look up and can just make out the outline of a HUGE moose. I’ve been accidentally face to face with a black bear and that scared me less than being up close with a moose. I’m 5 foot so imagine staring up at an animal several feet taller than you that is debating charging the dog who’s leash you are holding. I was terrified as I grabbed the dog by her collar to get better control over her and backed up slowly til I was out of line of sight and bolted for the house at a dead run. Did you know most Canadian lake monster stories come from people seeing moose swimming? They are massive animals.
They are massive and they charge. I get so scared when tourists are all “oh yeah, we got out of the car to get a closer look and, ya’ll have some mighty impressive animals around here.”
Yes, yes we do, and they have mighty tired guardian angels because moose can, and do, charge at people.
Someone my mom worked with died hitting a moose on the highway. Their eyes don’t reflect light. In the dark they are literally nothing but a big slightly darker shape in the night.
Roughly every year in the town I grew up in, a cow (moose) and her calf will wander through downtown. Maybe once or twice. If she’s aggressive enough, the local Mounties will escort her through to keep idiots away.
I’ve definitely talked with people who thought moose were deer-sized or maybe horse-sized and I was like NO YOU DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND MOOSE ARE TERRIFYING
Moose are terrifying, you guys.
I finally live on a province where moose and deer exist.
I do not drive at night in fear of meeting one. If you hit a moose going 90 on a highway, not only is your car trashed, you are probably trashed. I’ve seen cars that got wrecked and there seems to be a consensus that at least half the time, the giant fucking beastie just shakes itself off and continues gallumphing along the countryside.
If you fucking hit a moose with your car and their legs go through your windshield, congratulations, you are dead. Massive hooves kicking you to death? Yeah.
Moose are fucking terrifying. Bull moose won’t fuck with you too much unless you fuck with them, but the time a bull moose casually swaggered his way past 7 year old me when I was sledding literally put me off winter sports for a solid month.
Momma moose and their babies, though? I legitimately had to call in to work to be like “ey yo there is a moose in my driveway and I can’t get out” AND MY MANAGERS UNDERSTOOD.
I have to admit I thought they were like a Canadian deer before this.
The commenter above who claims that moose’s eyes don’t reflect light is only partially correct; if you shine a flashlight in a moose’s eyes it will glow like a cat (and then you will probably get killed to death by an annoyed moose) but the reason they are so dangerous to cars at nights is that they are too tall for the headlights to reach. Think about that.
Moose confirmed for actual kaiju.
Kaiju category: Maple.
Now I kinda want a kaiju movie set in Canada where it’s just a moose. Like a regular moose but more aggressive.
For scale, a female african elephant is 7.2-8.5 feet at the shoulder, according to Wikipedia. A moose is 4.6 – 6.9 ft. at the shoulder. So instead of thinking “This animal is a bit bigger than a deer” you can think “This animal is barely smaller than an elephant”
And they can run up to 40 miles per hour
A 16 wheeler with fur
They also reside in Alaska too; they love the birch trees.
Moose can also dive about 20 feet (6m) under water. They are known to have been preyed on by orcas.
EVEN IN THE WATER, YOU ARE NOT SAFE FROM MOOSE.
I get a lot of “how do you motivate yourself to write?” questions, and people are often genuinely disillusioned when I say “I need to pay my bills”. As though that isn’t a damn good reason to write.
It also doesn’t mean I don’t love what I do, it just means I get paid to do the thing I love, and I honestly don’t see how that isn’t goals.
Also, most writers don’t live with the wealth of people like Rowling or King. Most have second, third jobs, usually also associated with writing, but not always. The Rowlings and the Kings of the world are not the norm, they are the outliers to what is a drastically underpaid industry, where publishers more often than not make profit at the expense of the author, or if you’re an indie author, left to the mercies of companies like Amazon who have created a stranglehold on the market and will do anything to throttle your sales from other sources.
So yeah, sometimes it’s hard to motivate myself, sometimes it feels damn near impossible. But that doesn’t make my bills go away, and poverty is more demanding than any muse ever was.
“Why do you want this job?”
Uh… Because society requires me to exchange currency for goods and/or services?
But that is somehow the wrong answer, despite it being the only honest answer.
I’m trying to find a guide that isn’t overly complicated. @christinaroseandrews, if you’ve got the spoons do you have any good resource links for this? I know you had to do it for our anthology when it went up on a pirate site.
This man just sang “Every Rose Has a Thorn” based on a comment I made in fucking HIGH SCHOOL a million years ago and I am DYING and no one else in this bar has any idea why I am cackling with laughter and that just makes it funnier.
In short, I love my husband and now I gotta go check that I do not have raccoon eyes.
We went to karaoke tonight. I don’t sing because I couldn’t carry a tune if it were strapped to my back, but my husband loves to sing, and he’s got perfect pitch.
He’s a bass, and a lot of music is… not. He has uttered the sentence, “That Johnny Cash song is too high.”
He can sing a little higher, but when he does, he sings out of one side of his mouth, and it’s the cutest thing ever.
Happy Valentine’s Day, everybody!
Want to meet me in person, wearing any one of my Author Hats?
(Caitlyn Lynch, sexy contemporary or Catherine Bilson, sweet historicals… or even @ozhawkauthor , queen of Marvel crackships)
I’m signing at ARRA Brisbane ONLY on Friday 6th March, but entry is FREE as it’s in the Brisbane City Library. You DO have to book a ticket, link here.
Lots of other very fabulous authors will be there too, please take a look at ARRA’s event site for full details!
If you would like to pre-order one of my books - and pre-ordering is pretty essential because I can only physically carry so much - PLEASE fill in my pre-order form by TUESDAY, 18 February. You’ll even get a special free gift!
And yes, you CAN order a paperback copy of the Weird & Wonderful Holiday Romance anthology, also featuring stories by @thebibliosphere and @christinaroseandrews among others, AND GET IT FOR ONLY AU$25 (less than Amazon’s pricing!!!
Get those preorders in to make sure you don’t miss out!
For Australian readers who lamented their lack of ability to purchase a copy of the Weird and Wonderful Holiday Romance, this would be an excellent chance to try and get your hands on a copy, signed by the
weird andwonderful @caitlynlynch
And because tumblr is doing the thing and only highlighting some of Cait’s links, ****Here Is The Pre-order Link****
I don’t get how ANYONE does that, but I have to push back a tiny bit, gently. I’m Generation X, and that “I hate my wife” thing is really more Boomer than it is us.
But what’s important is that I found the best person in the world and somehow convinced her I don’t suck, and we’ve been married 20 years. I can’t imagine my life without Anne in it, and every single day I am grateful that she chooses to be my partner, best friend, co-conspirator, and best friend.
I hope that everyone in the world finds their Anne, because everyone deserves to be as happy and loved as I am by her.
When I got my braces off in 1994, they put on a lingual bar. It has come mostly undone over the years, and I had it removed this morning.
My teeth feel SO WEIRD right now.
On the other hand, I can probably eat corn without a toothpick handy, so…
One of my favourite things about the library is a prickly old lady named Angèle who often comes on the same day as me, and who systematically returns her books with the comment “Well, that was utter nonsense” (using a delightfully quaint word for nonsense, “sornette”). The librarian told me that she tends to forget which books she’s already read and is always drawn to the same books (“covers with pictures of plants, or birds, or Patrick Modiano”) so that she often borrows the same book numerous times and brings it back proclaiming it to be utter nonsense (“des sornettes, des sornettes !”) with the same gravitas every time. All the regulars love our grouchy local book reviewer with her one and only critique. One of them said if the village’s gazette were still a thing she would have been offered a weekly literary column. And recently a little girl selected a book and asked the librarian if she could recommend it to the old lady, and she came in again this week full of anticipation, asking if “Madame Sornette” had borrowed her book over the holidays, and the librarian said soberly, “yes, I’m afraid your book was utter nonsense”, and the kid started giggling like it was the funniest joke she had ever heard.
“Haha yeah, that’s weird, I have no idea how you did that.”
–My eye doctor
i actually find this really funny because if i’m not mistaken this is supposed to be a can of A&W root beer, and Japan HATES root beer
Apparently it’s a thing in Japan, it’s like black licorice to them, no one likes it.
medicine for kids has ingredients that make it taste kind of like what root beer tastes like so whenever they get root beer it tastes like medicine pretending to be a soda to them
so it’s like giving an american a huge bag of black jelly beans and labeling it “Why would you put these death nuggets in your body you ridiculous lout”
*packs bags and heads to Japan to chug root beer as a street performance*
A&W root beer tastes a million times better out of a frosty mug on a tray hanging out your car window, that’s just a fact.
Nothing Is Sacred, Nothing Is Safe
Like the giant uncoordinated fool that I am, I have spent my entire dog-filled life knowing that if there was something unintended for big slobbery puppy mouths, I need do little more than set it back on a counter to achieve instant preservation. This could be anything from a juicy steak to a particularly tasty paperback book. Out of reach was out of danger, the pet-keeping equivalent of set it and forget it.
THIS IS NO LONGER MY LIFE
Since bringing Master Pocket into my home and into my heart, I have come to treasure my Safe Spaces, while simultaneously being forced to realize how few of them I have. There was one point around Fonjew time that I think I had more food hidden in my dish cabinets than I did dishes. Because there is no such thing as “off-limits” when you share living space with a tiny chaos god that can effortlessly perform a near six-foot standing jump.
AND LOVES FOOD
My microwave is no longer a microwave, it is a cat-proof Fort Knox. I cannot tell you the number of times I have been preheating the oven and realized after several far too late minutes that I’m actually incinerating something that, in another life, I would never have had to shove into the oven in the first place. Hot Pocket is learning and adapting and I have with my own human eyeballs seen him nearly succeed in his continual efforts to crack the puzzle of the cabinets to gain the sweet, sweet forbidden rewards therein, and it is an achievement for which I live in constant low-grade terror.
THIS INSATIABLE LITTLE SEWER VOID MAN ONCE HAD HIS FACE BURIED IN A BAG OF RAW HARD UNCOOKED JASMINE RICE AND HAD THE NERVE TO BE PISSY WITH ME THAT I STOLE BACK HIS ILL-GOTTEN GAINS
Do you know who saves me these headaches? Who does not leap onto counters and nose into cupboards and cruelly take advantage of every moment of inattention and careless storage abandon?
THIS BEAUTIFUL GOLDEN SUNFLOWER, whose pure heart and lack of vertical action never forced me to learn the hard lesson Nothing Is Sacred, Nothing Is Safe.
The dryer is also an excellent hiding place for the Forbidden Eats, with the added benefit of not needing to be preheated, so you won’t accidentally ruin something you forgot was in there.
Rubbermaid also makes containers that can hold a LOT of packages of rice/pasta and can’t be chewed open.
The perfect time of year! After Chilly Season, but before Pollen Season, when the good little boys get Kitty TV in hi-def!
Writing good romance is so difficult because the entire plot is based on character interactions and producing chemistry. The readers need to believe in the love, whether the hero and heroine have known one another for a week or for years. We need to believe.
So often I see ppl criticize the romance in books and it comes off as them hating romance and I’m like no no no no no, a well done romance is an exquisite piece of writing. It’s not romance in general that sucks, it’s bad romance that sucks. Insta love with no chemistry. Relationships with no conflict. Badly written heroes. Those romances suck.
But romance books? Written by masters of the genre? Those are amazing.
THIS RIGHT HERE
It’s easy to write bad romance, because good romance requires a near-doctorate level understanding of human psychology and motivations.
Here’s the thing… certain emotions are easy to evoke and others are very hard to master and write.
Anger. Hate. Rage. Fear. <– negative emotions are the easiest to write because they rely on primal instinct programmed into the human brain by thousands of years of evolution. Within cultures there are certain things that will always evoke rage (and this is why not all books translate well to other cultures). Certain fears are universal.
Every bestseller every written has a Universal Fear driving at least the opening act of the book if not the whole book itself. Most bestsellers use “I fear I am worthless.” or “I fear death.” as their driving focus. Everything from PRIDE AND PREJUDICE to HARRY POTTER has used this and it’s why it sells so well.
It’s also why Romance isn’t taken seriously at times.
Romance promises as a happy romantic ending. Which means the two most common universal fears are utterly erased by the genre requirements alone. No one is going to die. The characters are going to be loved and feel worthwhile by the end of the book.
Since readers are programmed by society to instinctively fear those things some people have trouble relating to a romance story where they must latch onto something other than fear to get through a book.
Joy. Humor. Laughter. Happiness. <— positive emotions are really hard to write because they are complex emotions. There is nothing that makes people universally happy. I know, it’s shocking. Not kittens. Not puppies. Not a mother’s love. That thing you love, adore, and can’t live without? Yeah, someone hates it.
This is why writing satire or humor is so difficult. It’s why happy books are dismissed as fluffy or silly. They have a much narrower audience. The author has to reach into the reader’s head and manipulate their emotions so that they can feel soaring triumph. There isn’t a shortcut to writing happiness.
LOVE. <– Such a complex thing. Little understood. Hard to define. Ever roving about. Love, especially sexual and romantic love, are so individual that there will never be a One Size Fits All.
When an author sets out to write a romance they have to convince the reader not only to abandon fear but they have to write humans who are complex, convincing, and through storytelling explain the psychology of these individuals so the reader goes, “Yes, yes! I see it! I see why these two are perfect together and could never be with anyone else!”
It’s at once something many people have an innate talent for (hello, shippers!) and that many people don’t understand. Understanding love requires a very unselfish, un-egocentric view of the world. You have to think like someone else. And then, as the author, you have to create a way for a reader to easily step into the mind of someone else and understand this attraction without using shortcuts like “I saw her and got a boner. It’s love!” Because that isn’t.
It’s easy to write bad romance. It’s easy to use shortcuts and script the book like a film. But where films can rely on music and facial expressions to convey the complexity of emotion a writer only has words. There is no soundtrack for Chapter 7. There is no set of words in the English language that properly express the depth of feeling, the longing and desire, of seeing someone you treasure turn and smile at someone else and knowing from the depths of your soul that you would give up everything just to keep them smiling.
Writing a good romance means balancing internal and external conflict, knowing a person’s weaknesses and strengths, and pairing them with someone(s) who fill in their gaps, boost their strengths, and make them happy at the same time. And then, after all of that, you have to find readers who will understand and appreciate the characters you’ve written. You have to make the reader fall in love too.
Done well Romance is the most complex literary form.
Done poorly it’s just bad writing.
Because I am easily amused, and joyfully twelve years-old in the very best way.
I just downloaded my W-2 onto the knowledge box that lives in my pocket and then, with a touch of my finger, made the technology gremlins at my disposal print it out in a completely different area of my house.
Sometimes, the future is very cool.
This is what I’ve been reading. It sounded right up my alley–multiple parallel Londons stacked on top of each other, each one in a world with varying degrees of magic, with a limited number of people able to travel between them.
And the worldbuilding was aces! Each London felt real and distinct from the others, right down to the smell and atmosphere, different languages and technologies, and the various theories of magic use were clearly described.
Kell, the main character, was likeable enough, but kind of bland. His Mysterious Past was hinted at pretty strongly early on, and I assume at least one of the other books in the series explores that.
So far, things are looking good.
Then we get to Lila.
What can I say about Lila.
She’s NoT LiKe OtHeR GiRls.
We know that because she says so.
This book was published in 2015.
It was written by a woman.
Can we not?
I’m fairly certain that even in the dark dark days of (does math) FIVE YEARS AGO, a female character whose defining trait is NoT LiKe OtHeR GiRls was shitty characterization, ESPECIALLY WHEN THE “OTHER GIRLS” GET NO CHANCE TO DEFEND THEMSELVES.
Lila is basically the only female character of any significance in the book, aside from the Torture-Loving Bitch Queen of White London, who is ALSO NoT LiKe OtHeR GiRls, which you can tell because she, like Lila, wears pants and not a corset, and doesn’t only talk about STUPID THINGS like CLOTHES and BOYS (Evil Bitch Queen mostly talks about torturing people and evil, because what even is a three-dimensional villain?).
Other female characters include the Grey Queen (who gets a few lines in the first chapter), the Red Queen (also Kell’s adopted mother; the Red London royal family is the entirety of the POC in the book as well, Kell excepted; additionally, the relationships are all heteronormative), a tavern owner who dies, a merchant, and the Plastics (the OtHeR GiRls Lila is so fond of).
Basically every character of any real significance aside from Lila and the Evil Bitch Queen is a man (including Evil Bitch Queen’s twin brother), even when there’s no narrative reason why that should be the case. This allows Lila to continue with her “I’m better than the OtHeR GiRls because I wear pants and carry knives and wanna be a pirate” nonsense. At no point is she confronted with an OtHeR GiRl who, as it turns out, also has hopes and dreams and a rich inner life, and who knows, maybe fantasy Gretchen Weiner is a tropical fish aficionado or collects fossils? No, fantasy Gretchen Weiner is vapid and shallow because Lila declares it so.
You know what else is nonsense?
Lila, the only thing this book has that’s approaching a three-dimensional female character, is, on multiple occasions, threatened with sexual assault (or mentions past occasions where this was the case).
I agree, Lynda Carter!
It’s not a good look.
The ONLY female character is the ONLY one repeatedly threatened with sexual violence?
I should mention that this copy of the book has a chapter of the sequel in the back.
That chapter features Lila. She got her pirate ship! But she lost it, and now she’s in a lifeboat wearing a DRESS and a CORSET, and UGH, someone might think she’s one of those OtHeR GiRls, and as soon as she’s rescued she’s threatened with sexual assault because of course.
I feel like I’m complaining a lot about Lila. I disliked her A LOT. I read other reviews that call her things like “sassy” or “independent” but I found her to be neither. She’s a thief who gets caught, a wannabe badass who runs more than she stands and fights, a wannabe pirate who apparently fails at that before too long, and maybe the worst part is that she’s set up to be one of the few people who can travel between worlds in future books, so she can, I guess, run away and be sexually assaulted in fun new places?
I had high hopes for this book. I wanted to like it more than I did. The parallel Londons were cool, and the magic was well-defined, but basically everything about Lila and the almost total absence of POC and LGBT+ characters ruined it for me.
⭐ ⭐ out of 5
First of all, congrats on realizing this is something you would benefit from and taking the steps toward making your therapy experience more inclusive of your daily life. Second of all, have you found any LGBTQ+ therapists in your area, and if so, what other things do they specialize in? If it’s something you feel you may benefit from, (say, ADHD therapy, or art therapy) you may be able to use that as your reason if your parents are unsupportive or wouldn’t understand why you would want to talk to an LGBTQ+ friendly therapist.
I don’t know how old you are (your bio says not to follow or DM if under the age of 25, so I am assuming still a minor, which good for you asserting boundaries on this hellsite!), but if you are under 18 and in the US, I am not sure you have guaranteed confidentiality. Some therapists, particularly those who work with LGBTQ+ youth will offer confidentiality as the defacto, usually because they are queer themselves, and know what that shit was like growing up. When looking for them, you should go through their website and send them an email, (or call them) to ask what their policies are regarding minors and therapy confidentiality regarding the parents. I’m sure many of them will be more than understanding and willing to answer your questions prior to setting up an initial interview.
And as for your parents in general… I’d maybe just start hinting that your current therapist isn’t a good match for you personality-wise, and you’d like to try seeing someone else to see if you get better results. If you really do want to explain to them that you want an LGBTQ+ friendly therapist, but not because being queer is itself the thing you are seeking therapy for, I’d maybe try to frame it in terms of wanting a better connection to the community, and also wanting a safe space away from any potential homophobia when discussing certain things you may wish to talk about. (I’m also sure lots of my other followers will have very helpful suggestions in the comments as well. This is not a conversation I’ve had to have with any of my family, so it’s not something I can help with from experience.)
I hope some of that was helpful, and I wish you all the best of luck in finding a good therapist who can help you out with the things you need. Take care!
This is kind of true but kind of not. For me, editing is more about adding flesh to the skeleton that I’ve created. I’m Victor Frankenstein and my story is my creation.
Bad analogy, but also accurate.
What, you mean other people also stare at three solid pages of dialogue and say to themselves, “Yeah, there should probably be, like, description and stuff in here somewhere…”
My queer contemporary romance HEART AND SEOUL is releasing very soon!! On February 4, 2020 it’ll be live and until then you can pre-order your copy.
To celebrate I’m hosting a challenge and giveaway over on my Instagram.
To enter the giveaway you just need to follow me on Instagram and participate in the challenge at least once. Use the hashtag so I can see your posts and you’ll be automatically entered!
Reblogs are appreciated to spread the word! Thank you!!
Couldn’t decide between holo or multichrome, went with stamped gears instead! Still got some cleanup to do!
Psst NASA is currently running a poll to decide the name of the next Mars rover!
These are all really good tbh
Oooooooooooh. This was a hard choice! I ended up going with Fortitude. It just feels very fitting with current events, both related to space and otherwise.
Ok, but the real question is WILL THIS ROVER AND CURIOSITY SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO EACH OTHER?
Yesterday was basically nothing but running errands. Today is for relaxing! Deadpool/catcorn shirt, llamacorn pants, unicorn/dragon socks, pearl face mask, might do my nails but I’m torn between holo or multichrome. Leftovers of my bomb-ass fried chicken in the fridge, Thin Mints, cold bottle of viognier.
Who doesn’t have to leave the house today? 👆👆👆 This girl!