all jackets should have inside pockets its the best feature and everyone else needs to get on board. whats better than reaching inside ur jacket to retrieve Secret Objects from your Secret Pocket? nothing. nothing. youre gonna store your wallet and weapons and cool rocks you find in your outside pocket? where they can fall out?? where someone can swipe them? like an idiot? get inside pockets
This combined to my 4 watches will make me the best evil genius of all time
My ability to proofread increases by 1000% after I hit “Submit”.
this is often because when you’ve submitted something (like fanfiction to ao3) it will be in a different font, size and framing than in your word processor. The text will look different in the new environment so your brain stops skipping what looks familiar (like a typo that has been there since the beginning).
So, tip: revise your work in a different font and size. I guarantee you’ll catch more typos and mistakes than otherwise.
Reblog > Likes
Support fan content creators
I’m not even that big but this all important
Y’all, I try to reblog from and interact with “smaller” blogs whenever I can (don’t like that term but it’s what y’all use) but if you guys get mad about only the content put out by “big” blogs getting attention maybe all of you should go out of your way to… I dunno… give more attention to your fellow artists and fanfic writers and memers.
Because like I dunno how I got here. I dunno how I got these followers. I’m not trying to hog your notes. If small blogs aren’t getting any attention it’s because nobody is going through the tags anymore. Go through the tags! Follow a tag. I follow tags and they put new stuff on my dash all the time I never would’ve seen otherwise. Even if you only have two followers, there’s two people that might not have seen it before. Ain’t my fault that nobody is reblogging stuff. That falls on all of us, okay? Jeez. If you want more fan content, then support more fan artists and writers and theorists and meme makers. I don’t need all this attention. I’m not making money off of this. Go reblog some content.
What are you waiting for? Go to the Sanders Sides and Thomas Sanders tags right now! Go! Hit the reblog button on something with less than a hundred notes! Do it!
This will be a longer post, because it’s all about the details, and there was a lot of going back and forth with photos and emails to get Stripes and his stripes just right. So be sure you’re comfy when you sit down to read it. :-)
Stripes person first wrote to me back in December about her tiger, Stripes, and his companion RedEye the snake. Both were starting to feel their age, but as she said,
“ As you can see Stripes is in the most need of repairs. Personally, I’m guessing that a full recovering is needed, but I’m certainly no expert and will follow your advice. Here are some pics which show Stripes fur disappearing and soon he will be bald. Amazingly he has no damage that I can find. His ears need some stuffing, but they have never been tall, firm standing Teddy Bear ears.”
Here are the diagnosis photos she sent:
As you can see, his belly section was pretty good, but his furry parts were wearing and fading. His person really wanted his fur recovered, in an orangier rather than tanner fur, and she opted for him to have a spa too.
Here he is in his bubble bath:
Once he was dry, he got restuffed and of course, got a heart with a bit of his original stuffing. Here’s his heart being made:
Then it was time to choose furs. As some of you know who’ve been reading for a while, usually with tigers we use a solid fur of the preferred background color, then add the stripes by hand afterwards. Here were the best fur options:
His person opted for the orangier, furrier one.
Stripes got recovered, and some smaller wounds on his belly were sewn. Then, it was time for hand striping. I did some basic striping, and then sent photos for feedback:
His person’s first response was:
Beth, you’ve made me cry at work. I’m absolutely over the moon with Stripes new look!!! Holy cats he’s looking beautiful!! You are AMAZING!
But I was asking for striping feedback, and she happily provided it:
The stripes. Thank you for being so conservative. :) I would like to add some more stripes. I’ve included an updated pic that shows where I would like some stripes added.
- Tail: Could you put 2 stripes in a ring pattern around the tail? They continue the black spots you started. I also noticed with other Gund tigers that the ring was painted at a slight angle or sprayed as 2 “halves”, not a straight ring that looked like a raccoon’s tail. (pics) I know that there was more black at the tip of the tail, but I don’t think the whole tip was black.
- Back Leg: I’ve continued your 3 spots into stripes.
- Body: I’ve added 2 stripes, but if you will notice stripe #2 is in the shape of a ‘V”. (I remember this detail as a child) The stripes do NOT have to line up with the fabric underneath. They didn’t before. :D
- Face: I’ve added a short stripe above Stripes’ right eye. This detail always gave him a slight serious look without being mean. (not a lot of slant to the line, if any) I have always loved this detail about him. And I’ve elongated the stripe on his forhead.
Beth, I’m pretty sure we will be adding some more stripes to the back, especially his head but I thought we might tackle this bit first.
She closed with:
Again, I just absolutely can’t thank you enough for your beautiful and loving work on my best friend. I have been showing people the before and after pics for the last 5 hours. I’m so happy!!!
So back to drawing stripes on Stripes I went. Here are the next batch of photos:
Stripes person was thrilled:
Stripes looks spectacular!! I mean he is just awesome with the stripes that you’ve filled out.
She wanted just one more stripe. She sent a photo, but it was in another format, so I won’t put it here, but she also described what she wanted very well:
So I just have 1 more stripe for you. If you look at my pic, you will see that I’ve drawn a line over the small black dot that is on his forehead. In the last pic you sent me you can still see that it’s just a spot and not a stripe. Could you lengthen that spot into a stripe for me?
Please note the position. When you are seated facing Stripes, this stripe includes/starts at the black spot and runs towards the right. You have a pretty stripe that’s higher on the head already placed on the left so this one goes off to the right and is the same length as that one.
Adjustment made, I sent another photo (you can see the printout with her line instruction next to him):
Perfection Achieved! I’m so so happy!!!! How many exclamation points can I put in an email to show you how perfect Stripes is!!
So Stripes got packed up and headed home to a grateful human and snake. Here he is at home with his pal, RedEye:
His person was soooo happy! She wrote a very long thank you, with a history of Stripes and RedEye, and I don’t want to edit it, so I’m copying it entirely here for you to read. But you can skip it if you want and just know she was happy!
Sit back and relax. This may be a little bit of a long happy read. :D Please feel free to use any content or pics from my emails for your blog.
I waited anxiously for Stripes to arrive. Yes, my husband signed for the box and I couldn’t wait to get home!
And so the moment has arrived. I brought Stripes best friend Redeye in from the bedroom to help me open the package. We open, I close my eyes dig in past the packing peanuts and pull out our best friend. Oh My Goodness! He is beautiful! bright! and colorful! He practically glows! I see his face. Yes, yes! It’s Stripes! I see the same face I’ve gazed into and loved for 50 years. And that’s when the tears start. Crying, mouth open in shock but my husband says he’s never seen me happier. ..After many long years, I can finally cuddle my friend again.
Beth you have given me back something I thought I would never have again. I love Stripes so, but I couldn’t, didn’t dare to pet him or cuddle him. I had to be so gentle, so afraid that I was doing more damage to him. But now all that is over! I can sleep with my buddy by my side. I can take him on vacations again! I’m tearing up just writing this. I can’t express my joy…absolute joy over the work you have done. Stripes looks like a beautiful and bright toy again. Thank you Beth. Thank you so very much.
…And I’ll be sending Redeye to you some time in February. I’ll be sure to email you first to start the process.
And here’s a little history about Stripes. Stripes was a Christmas present in 1969. I have always loved tigers and I was in deep love the moment I saw him. He has enjoyed play tea parties with me, and watched drive-in movies sitting in the back window. He has looked over the candy hauls that I collected during Halloween and been in a beautiful oak tree during the crisp dry autumn. (Carefully placed on a towel, but he needed to experience a tree. He is a tiger after all.) He has been with me in Japan for a year and traveled all over the US northwest looking out of a train window. And he has done all these things with Redeye by his side.
–But let’s face the facts, in the last few years my friend was disappearing before my eyes. There was good fortune that his seams were okay but the fur was coming off. His stripes were completely gone in areas. He was looking more yellow everywhere. And I dared only to pat him. That’s when I began to search for help to restore my friend and so I found Realms of Gold on the internet.
Beth has been wonderful, corresponding with emails and working out details by sending pictures back and forth. She listened to my input and was absolutely amazing at applying the stripes in the right places. We actually discussed exactly where to put them. :D I trust Beth’s skills so much that I will be sending Stripes best friend Redeye along soon. He was amazed and so happy with Stripes look, that he can’t wait to go to Realms of Gold!
Okay Beth, this may be a little serious but I wanted to express my honest feelings, and let you know why this has been so important to me.
With my 2 stuffed animals loosing hair and looking tired a sobering thought occurred to me. If something happened to me, what would happen to them? We have no children to give them to. We can’t donate them because being so worn out, no one would take them. And the thought that they might end up in a garbage bin was too much. Of course for me, my goal was to pet, play and enjoy them again. That goes without saying. But now, seeing Stripes beautiful bright colors, I am happy and secure in knowing that years from now, I can donate or will him to a children’s home where he will continue to be loved. (I have several friends who grew up in orphanages and we think it’s a wonderful idea.)
Thank you so much Beth!!!!!!
I don’t know about all of you, but that made me smile all day. :-)
Agent Whiskey wasn’t supposed to return from his mission until tomorrow. It was only one week, but you promised each other not to even touch yourselves while you were a part to make for an even more explosive reunion. When he walks through the door a day early to surprise his pretty baby, he finds you, legs spread on the couch in the living room, clothes in a pile on the floor.
“Oh, baby.” He says softly, letting his bags fall to the ground. “You couldn’t wait?”
“I’m sorry, daddy.” You coo, sitting up.
“Don’t be sorry, baby. I missed you so much.” Jack sighs, sinking into the couch next to you and pulling you into his lap.
“What are you doing?” You ask with a smile.
With your back to his chest, Jack kisses your temple then rests his chin on your shoulder, pulling your knees all the way up so you’re spread open.
“Show daddy how you play with your pussy.”
Javier is always surprising you with returning back from Medellin earlier than he originally claimed. It’s one of his favourite games to play because he’s found you in compromising positions in bed, in the bath, even once on your small balcony. Cooing his name as you work your fingers quickly, aching for his touch. He wonders if you’re playing a game too, since your always so ready to take him in your mouth as you get yourself off.
Oberyn encourages shameless pleasure at anytime and really adores mutual masturbation. Well, as close as you can get to mutual with a prince. Oberyn Martell employs masturbation maidens to do the work for you. Yours a lovely woman who sleeps most the day and giggles with you through the night and for Oberyn, his preferred male - blonde and muscly. You sit across from each other and watch one another as the maidens do the work. It is highly erotic and always ends in sex between the 4 of you.
Din Djarin hired you to mind the child and keep the Razor Crest in order, what he didn’t expect was to be so attracted to you. Feelings he buried for the sake of your working relationship, but late one evening when he finds you in your quarters, whimpering his name with your eyes closed tight, he’s stunned. So stunned he forgets about his modulator and you hear his breath hitch. When you open your eyes, he turns his back.
“Hi, Mando.” You giggle but he starts to leave.
“Mando!” You call again. “You can stay.”
He turns back slowly.
“Have you ever watched a woman pleasure herself?” You ask and he doesn’t respond.
“Do you want to watch me?”
“Yes.” He says, and it’s almost a gasp.
You welcome the Mandalorian to sit at the end of your cot for the best view and he obliges. For a few minutes, you continue with your eyes closed, getting back to the height you left off on, extending your leg out into Din’s lap and he caresses your thigh through gloved fingers and grips your shin, much to your delight.
“Mando…” You sigh.
“What do you need?” He chokes out.
“You. Touch me more.”
Mando removes his thick gloves and you rest your hands on your stomach as he brushes your clit with his thumb.
“Cover your eyes.” He says darkly.
“Cover your eyes and don’t look until I tell you.”
“O-okay.” You say and only a moment after you do so there is a slight pop and a hiss. Your heart races as you hear the Mandalorian hum deep in the back of his throat and suddenly his tongue along your slit.
Ezra will tease your need for release. “My slutty little kitten can’t go one day without coming, can she?” He says, his face between your thighs because he always needs to see you close up. He’ll nip at your inner thighs, encouraging you.
“Make that pretty pussy cum.” And he’ll watch with his heated eyes as you give him your wet fingers to suck on until he can’t take it anymore.
“I need to fuck you.” He’ll mumble, kneeling between your thighs, “Always need to fuck you.”
Maxwell Lord has many rules, #1 being your orgasms are his and you must ask for them. You don’t mind, he always delivers and it is so easy to defy him. Your heart races through his anger, you become impossibly wet under his strength. Your favourite way to work him up is to time it just right so you’re almost at your peak when he walks through his home office doors in the evening.
He finds you in his over stuffed office chair, feet up on his desk, fingers within you.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” He demands, tossing his briefcase on the couch.
“I’m going to cum.” You gasp.
“No you’re not.” He says plainly, as he loosens his tie.
“May I cum, Mr Lord?”
“No.” He says, tossing his suit jacket on top of the briefcase.
“I said no.” He says through his teeth, rolling up the sleeves of his dress shirt .
You slow the thrusts of your hand as he comes around the desk, and pulls your hips to the edge of the chair with a grunt, taking your throat in his big hand.
“Were you really trying to cum without my permission?” He asks, as you slap your hand over his with a gasp. He circles your clit with a feather light touch, so achingly slow it’s like he’s barely touching you and he looks up at the clock above the desk.
“If you don’t cum in one minute exactly, you’re going to wish you didn’t pull this little stunt at all.”
here is an idea: normalise the idea that adopting kids is a valid option even for parents who could conceive a child themselves, and not just an inferior backup option for parents who can’t
Not even just for the potential parents, but for the kids. The adoptees. Don’t let us seem, and or feel, like like second choices, last resorts, and throw aways.
Our society has a number of loveable buffoons who fool around and are excused from acting like prats because they’re funny. They might be rubbish at most things but as long as their banter is flowing, we put up with it.
These types are almost exclusively men. You don’t get hilarious, idiotic women being lorded as icons of our culture. Diane Abbott is dismissed as a cretin while Boris Johnson is a joker.
Which begs the question: is conscious male incompetence a form of misogyny?
If you labour the point that you can’t cook, then chances are that you won’t be made to cook. If you make a hash out of doing the laundry or hoovering, you’re forcing someone else to take over.
Few have the patience to watch someone do a job badly over and over again and so often, they’ll just take it upon themselves to do your chores as well as their own. Emotional labour is doubled when you’ve got an incompetent clown on your hands.
I was recently listening Semi Circles, a BBC radio comedy starring Paula Wilcox, first broadcast in 1989.
It’s about a housewife who recently wakes up to the fact that she’s spent the past eight years being a slave to her kids and nice-but-emotionally-dim husband.
Part of this awakening is the realisation that she does all the housework because her husband is crap at it. Left alone, he makes inedible food. He lets the kids stay up well beyond their bedtime. He leaves the house a tip.
He doesn’t even try to do a good job because he fears that if he’s too good at these jobs, his wife will make him do more of them.
Put these garbage men in the garbage where they belong.
I went and checked the original source and it’s worse. While most of the comments get the problem (the lying, not the eggs) some of them just cannot see that this shit is actually a big honking warning sign for bigger shit. A loving person is not capable of doing this.
He literally puts his mere convenience over her actual well being. This guy thought up and executed a plan where she has to do *all* the work (because of course it wasn’t just this one specific thing) while he watches her tire herself out from the sidelines. Imagine this going on for *years*. …now imagine this with kids. You think this guy cares if she gets off during sex? Would he take care of her if she were to get sick? Would he ever lift a finger if he could get away not doing it?
She can’t trust a word he says and he doesn’t give a shit about her needs. It’s not about the *eggs*.
Sorry to reblog from you, stranger, but this commentary is all very good. I especially appreciate the emphasized statement that “a loving person is not capable of doing this.” That line is going to rattle around my brain for ages — the words feel good in my mouth. How you’ve said it is just so right.
I want to add some of OP’s further comments on the thread she made:
“To be fair, I have pretty high standards for cleanliness and his idea of clean vastly differs from mine and honestly, that’s okay! But now I’m starting to seriously wonder if he sabotaged cleaning, too, just to get me to do it. Dishes, for instance. He will wash half and leave a nasty sink full of the rest, claiming he’ll do them later. This drives me nuts, so I just do them. Often he will leave crusted on shit on then, too, so okay, I’ll just do them, right? Now because of the egg business, I’m seeing it as malicious.”
→ The husband is lazy. He seemingly commits to housework, only to bail partway through, and doesn’t even put in the effort required to do the job right in the first place.
“Yes, he sucks at dishes and laundry to the point he is banned from doing them. He will leave clothes in the washer overnight and doesnt separate anything to the point I’ve had many white clothes ruined. My favorite white brassiere is now pink due to his bullshit.”
→ The husband is inconsiderate of his wife’s property, even that which is well-loved. Could his repeated failure to learn how to do this task have been a ruse? Did he anticipate his banishment from laundry duty? OP now has to genuinely wonder about this.
“I’m starting to think he does things wrong on purpose now just to get me to do it. Another example! My car. For a while my driver side door wouldn’t open from the outside, so I had to crawl through the passenger side. He ordered a handle and kept putting it off for WEEKS. Finally, he says his hands are too big to do it, so I had to do it.”
→ The husband makes excuses for himself that cast him as an unwitting victim to fate, with the implication that he would totally do [action], if only he could. He distances himself from any possibility of blame.
Obviously, anonymous forum posts are taken with a grain of salt — we, as readers, will never know for sure if OP is real. That’s not a concern for me, though. Like I don’t care. The fact is that if one assumes this is all true, it is very obvious that the poster’s husband is a perfect example of maliciously feigned incompetence. He’s manipulative and lazy to the point of cruelty, expecting his wife to work while he fails to lift a single functioning finger. The statement that “he likes her eggs better” isn’t cute like some have stated in the replies to this post; it’s just another excuse that walls him off from criticism, a bullshit reason he pulled out of his ass to make her feel guilty and unreasonable for being upset.
The absurdity of the situation when taken at face value — lying about eggs, getting mad about making eggs, even just the reality of deviled eggs (an inherently silly prep style) being someone’s favorite food — extends an air of the absurd to the wife’s concerns, and to others’ warnings. I have noticed several comments to the tune of, “These people are all mad about eggs? What a joke! How oversensitive. That’s just how men are; this is just what marriage looks like.”
It’s fucked up, is what it is.
…deviled egg lady, if you’re truly out there somewhere, I hope you told your husband to make his own goddamn eggs from now on. It’s literally the least he can do.
“It’s literally the least he can do.”
we all just witnessed a fucking murder and it was beautiful.
Real talk time, folks:
If your partner (I am deliberately not using gendered words here), frequently and unashamedly feigns ignorance or incompetence to get out of tasks that affect both of you, warn the asshole once, warn them twice, and then dump the lazy freeloader.
Even someone who is legitimately bad at something can become moderately good at it, if they put some effort in, especially if it is important daily life tasks like cooking, cleaning and laundry.
For example: say your partner can’t cook. Not even something simple like pasta with tomato sauce. They never remember how much salt and pepper to put in that tomato sauce and they always forget that they have the pasta on the stove and then the entire thing burns. Well guess what? That’s what we invented cook books and recipes and egg timers for. Write that shit down (which ingredients, how much, how long, which temperature, etc.), then show them how it is done, and show them how to set the timer on their fucking phone, because I guaran-goddamn-tee you that every modern phone comes with a timer function. Show them how to do it once. Show them how to do it twice. If they still fuck it up the third time, you either have someone on your hands who cannot read (in which case, wow, great trust they have in you, their partner, that they don’t even tell you about that) or who just can’t be bothered to follow step by step instructions that were neatly laid out for them.
Your time is too precious to waste it on constantly babysitting your partner. A relationship should never be unilateral. It’s a team effort. And within a team, everyone has to pull their weight. If they can’t work with you, they are working against you.
Like, I know how to do laundry, I know about separating things out, how different settings should be used etc. but I dump my load into the washer and ignore all that.
But it’s my clothes. And only my clothes. I don’t care if the colors run.
I would NEVER do that to my partner’s clothes. I don’t do that for my father’s clothes when I do his laundry (which is uncommon he usually does his own).
Weaponized ignorance/the bumbling man trope needs to fucking die. This shit is EASY. They just don’t want to do the work so they dump the effort onto their partners. It’s horrid.
One of my psychology professors actually talked about this in the context of her own husband and how she dealt with it, which was namely: don’t let your partner get away with not doing basic housework just because they’re “bad” at it. All you’re doing is teaching them that incompetence (genuine or not) is rewarded, and reinforcing that behaviour.
When she saw that he (genuinely or not) had no idea how to properly wash dishes, she showed him how to do it, then she stood beside him and talked him through doing it, then she watched him do it on his own.
When he fucked up the dishes again while unsupervised, she went through the whole process again - “here I’ll show you, now you do it while I watch”
She never got mad at him, or yelled, or did anything where she could be accused of overreacting or being dramatic, just acted every time like she was teaching a child how to do these things for the first time. And after two or three rounds of this, he would start doing chores properly while unsupervised, either because (a) he now actually knew how to do them properly, or (b) (more likely) he’d realized that feigning incompetence would not get him out of housework, and he’d have to go through the humiliating experience of being taught how to do it again every time he fucked it up. And eventually he stopped the “feigning incompetence” thing altogether and started asking for help if he couldn’t do something instead of just not doing it.
(of course, I completely understand if someone doesn’t want to go through this process and just dumps their partner’s ass for being an asshole, and it’s not always going to work if they’re determined/malicious about it rather than just doing what they’ve always done, but this is one way to deal with it)
I mean ideally if someone is really bad at something or hates doing something, maybe one partner keeps doing it and the other partner does something else in turn.
But the problem with these bumbling “I’m just bad at any inconvenient chores” dudes is that they do this across the board. They’re not going to go out of their way to do something nice because one partner is lifting the devilled egg reponsibility on their own.
My ex boyfriend told me for fucking MONTHS he was going to paint a section of the kitchen wall. FUCKING MONTHS. When he finally did it (cause I was suuuuuch a naggy bitch) it took 20 minutes.
If someone universally can not make an effort for their partner, whether it be laundry or remembering their preferences or common courtesy, it’s a sign that they don’t care.
And yes, I am fully aware that there are mental health issues to make that harder, I have plenty of them. So I will probably forget important names and dates, and that sucks, and I won’t enjoy getting up early with you either, but I’m very happy to do all the dishes or set out tea things the night before when I am still awake and you’re sleeping, even if I don’t wake up when you do.
Affection really is in the little things, and it’s so disgusting how women are constantly berated for being “over emotional” or “blowing things out of proportion if they point out a small thing that is a symptom of a much bigger problem.
Women should not have to train their partners to do basic shit. There is a pervasive expectation that it’s a woman’s job to either a) do ALL the housework/emotional work/kinship work and/or b) train the men in their lives to do it, often while the men purposefully refuse to pay attention or retain the information. And it’s misogyny.
Men are capable of figuring shit out on their own, especially in the era of YouTube tutorials and wikihow shit. Their incompetence in the face of these resources is deliberate. They are deliberately choosing not to learn to do work that they know they can get the women in their lives to do.
That’s not women’s responsibility. Women should not be expected to keep track of all the household chores and assign some to their partner in the first place – men are capable of noticing when dishes need to be done or floors need to be swept. And women should especially not be expected to train the men in their lives in the details of how to do that work.
Men need to step the fuck up and take classes or do some googling to make sure they know how to do their share of household work. If they don’t, they’re choosing not to.
Man, i wasn’t expecting all that…