FUN FACT: I’m actually *further* to the left now than I was in my 20s!
I saw someone write recently (paraphrased), “They said ‘you’ll get more conservative as you get older’ and what they didn’t realize they meant was ‘you’ll get greedier and more paranoid as you get richer’ [which is true, there are psych studies] and what they didn’t count on is that no one gets rich any more”
[OOC] Me in my 50s
them: wait aren’t you a…
estpolis :@wires-walter-the-automaton W HY DO I IMAGINE ACE MAKIGN THIS WHILE DRUNk
Because this is definitely something he would do! He would probably make it for Peter.
Also, is that cheese?
i first thought it was butter fsr
lmao ace would be on his knees begging peter to eat it, crying and all but peter keeps denying
then gene comes in to save peter’s life by agreeing to eat it for him (because there’s no doubt in mind he wouldn’t) and luckily ace couldn’t hear them discussing the plan over his own sobbing
ace then looks up and notices it gone, peter then shyly exclaiming “yeah it… actually was really good, i’m sorry ace” and ace is sO HAPPY he gets up to hug peter and peter hugs back, feeling bad for lying to his sweet spaceman but it was kind of worth it
at least gene got his midnight snack bc it’s literally 2 in the morning
hey what the fuck are you talking about
oh my god they’re talking about the band Kiss
shut the fuck up
THEYRE TALKING ABOUT FUCKING KISS?
i found out yesterday while my grandpa was helping me move that he consistently carries four knives on him at all times. it’s as natural as carrying around his phone and wallet for him. he says if anyone ever attacks him and takes his first knife, they’re in for a surprise. if they take his second knife? another surprise. his third knife? buddy, you’re in for a treat: another knife
i told knife grandpa this post got famous and he got real paranoid as if suddenly everyone everywhere is going to know he has all these knives on him
better make it 5 knives, gramps
Fantasy settings are so funny because anyone could show up at anytime and be like “hi I’m your lost bastard son” and you’d have to take them at their word because DNA testing doesn’t exist yet.
Series about a traveling mage who has figured out how to do paternity testing and goes from village to village staging a live audience Lauren Lake level shit show
“Mine divinations have foretold…that Goodman John…BE NOT THE CHILD’S FATHER!”
*Goodman John breakdances while Lady Elizabeth flees in shame and the hurdy-gurdy man turns up*
for those of you not on twitter, just letting you know that there’s a revolution happening currently
the wakko stans are taking over
for those who wanted some pics:
this isn’t even close to everything
when i said almost everyone had the same profile pic
i wasn’t lying
how do we explain plato’s allegory of the cave to twitter users?
Three different guys in the same shelf. I repeat. We have three different guys in the same shelf and one of them has his CHEEK MEAT hanging out like it’s nothing
Scandalous. How do they keep getting away with this
Will the madness ever stop…
People on the internet really go “should children have rights? Discuss” as if they weren’t children.
They will also be like “how I was treated as a child profoundly effected me to this day. The world was cruel to me when I was at my most vulnerable. Anyway kids are nasty parasitic gremlins I hate them soooooo much unironically”
when i was like 13 i was particularly obsessed with homestuck, and my family adopted a black cat. i really wanted to name him Spades Slick because there was something wrong with my brain. my parents were like what the hell does that mean so i lied and said it was because the white patch on his chest looked like an ace of spades, and they were like “oh well let’s just call him ace.” and then we did. now my cat is basically named after a homestuck character and i’ve had to live with that for years now
Why not Jaspers?