Well… it’s been a really long time since I posted here? What’s new with everyone?
Well… it’s been a really long time since I posted here? What’s new with everyone?
Papped carefree arrival to the soreen stop 80 miles into yet another century.
Could. Not. Give. A. Fuck.
I’m really in love with the majority of my life right now and I’m also really bad at being a blog. Sorry. Xx
Wow I haven’t posted anywhere near enough lately. Life has been fabulous but incredibly busy the past month or so- please forgive me! Many updates coming soon!
In the meantime have a selfie from the other day when I was at a photo shoot for a cycling magazine…
One selfie per ride. 6 days, 316 miles, over 14000m of elevation, and so much fun (and quite a lot of pain). Now on the way home and looking forward to catching up with people and having a really nice evening celebrating everyone’s respective cycling achievements this week. Happy Meg.
Because progress pictures don’t need befores and afters, have four photos of me feeling really bloody good about myself.
In the past few weeks my face and body and general image probably hasn’t changed very much at all, but in the past pew weeks I feel like I’ve probably made the best progress I ever have within my recovery. Two years since hospital. One year since I decided getting healthy was for me. A few weeks since I realised what full recovery could actually give me.
I’m never going to be the best, skinniest, prettiest, [insert superlative adjective here], person in the world but I’m always going to be me. People will come and go (some I hope will stick around for a little longer than other (some already have)) and they’ll change the way I think and feel and act. They’ll be the most important people in my life and hopefully make me a better person as a whole.
I’m still not sure what this summer has in store for me but I’m hopeful it’s going to be one of the best ones yet and I’m determined that food isn’t going to get in the way of that.
Thank you for sticking with me when I’ve been hopeless and quiet and absent and trying to focus on other parts of my life.
All my love. xx
If someone offers to cook you dinner I would highly recommend accepting because 1. It’ll probably be really yum and 2. It’s basically the cutest thing ever.
This evening consisted of pizza and cider and a pretty happy Meg.
Did I ever tell you guys that I’m really bloody happy at the moment. This summer is going to be wonderful and I’m going to spend it where I feel best and spend time with people that help me to be the best version of me and I could not be more excited.
P.s. I am currently the happiest I’ve been in years and it might be because the sun has been out a lot lately or it might have something to do with the fact I’ve been cycling at least 5/7 days over the past few weeks or it might be because it’s nearly summer and I’ve met some really great people and I’ve got some really lovely plans but I know for sure I’d never have been able to be this happy if I didn’t make the decision to get better this time last year. Do it for the life you want.
Today I won in more ways than one.
This week has been a strange week, I had my first two exams and cycled a lot, I’ve met some cool people and learned some pretty awesome things about myself and my feelings towards life.
I’ve confronted things that have been causing me a lot of anxiety for a pretty long time and I’ve made it through and I’m looking forward to the 30th of June and my final exam to mark the end of my first year at uni.
I don’t know what this summer is going to bring me or where I’m going to spend it or what I’m going to do with my time or who I’m going to spend it with but I do know that whatever I end up doing it’s going to be because it’s what I want to do and it’s going to make me happy.
Riding, revision, and happiness. Life moving at 100 miles an hour again and my little brain trying to keep up. Aaah I cannot wait for summer.
I’m actually like super happy today. That is all I have to say.
Sorry about my absence of late it’s just that life is a thing that seems to not want to let me have a break. Supposed to be in the middle of exam revision but hugely struggling. So many things to think about and do. Life’s just easier on the bike.
Today’s ride was wonderful and if you’re not jealous then you should be.
Yesterday I was really happy and today I am thankful for everything I have in this life. Despite the exam stress and inability to focus or revise, things could be worse.
Dinner and cocktails tonight at Jamie’s Italian with my wonderful friend who I cannot wait to live with next year. Someday going out for dinner won’t feel like a big deal, this time was easier than last time and next time will be easier than that. Baby steps.
A pretty great Sunday ride to take me over the 150 mile mark this week and a pretty scary reminder as to how careful you’ve got to be out on the road (and why the helmet rule is so important). A friend’s bike written off, a car windscreen smashed to pieces, and really luckily no one seriously hurt.
A very beautiful and pretty fun ride though, despite the drama…
I count myself very lucky. Over 115 miles down over the past four days and feeling stronger and more free. Not looking forward to exams and the stress that comes with but hoping I’ll make it through okay.
My *the ride hasn’t even begun and I’ve already been snowed on I sincerely regret these shorts* face.
Today was fab though, and it was needed. Nothing like a hilly(ish) 43 miles through sun sleet and snow to clear your head!
The best day, and ride, in quite a while. Tackled my favourite hill on the new bike and did some beautiful lakes laps in the sun! (the tan lines are already beyond a joke)
Life feels like it’s going at 100 miles an hour right now and it’s kind of scaring the hell out of me but I’m trying to tackle it as best as I can and take things one by one.
It’s not going to be easy but it is going to be worth it. Every second.
Evening well spent.
So. Bloody. Proud.
3-up time trial and we worked our butts off and came in 4th with out first guys team coming in 7th.
All that hard work and all of the shit you have to go through; I promise you it pays off in the end.
Trying out TT bars and developing the tan lines. Today was a nice one.
I am so fucking lucky to have the people I do in my life. Had the loveliest evening last night at the annual general meeting and then pub with the cycling club. Finally got to catch up with the guy who really got me into cycling in the first place who’s been snowed under with uni since the beginning of January and also the girls and all the other guys I haven’t seen since before Easter and talk about cycling and coffee and racing and my new bike and the upcoming Alps trip and wow I just feel really lucky right now. Going on that first ride almost seven months ago now was probably the best decision I’ve ever made and i genuinely have no idea where or who I’d be right now if I hadn’t.
Fighting the thoughts and voices and feelings like hell right now. I went on a little (20 mile) ride earlier in the wind to try and clear my head and tidied up my room a little tonight. So scared about this semester and exams and results and everything that’s going on and everything I have to work on. I have 9 weeks until I go to the Alps for a week with no choice or control over my food or routine. I need to seriously get my shit together asap.
This is what happy looks like. I’m allowed to spend my savings; that’s what they’re there for.
I either need a less expensive hobby or a lot more money. I wish that spending money didn’t freak me out as much as it does and I wish that the one thing I love more than anything else didn’t require so much financial investment. Trying to not stress out or worry and just let myself use some of my savings but feeling very much stressed out and freaking out over the thought of using any of my ‘buffer’.
Today I went on a ride because I woke up and I didn’t want to do anything at all, I was tired and i felt like shit, and I wanted to sleep in and ignore uni and work and food and life, today I went on a litle ride in the fresh air with the breeze and I got home and I felt one thousand times better. I showered and I walked up to the shop and bought myself some yoghurt and for the first time in a long time I didn’t put any make up on to leave the flat. Today hasn’t been the best day I’ve ever had, but today feels a little bit like progress.